Autumn Secrets

by Katie Winters

  Henry appeared in the doorway. He was dressed wonderfully in an expensive suit, his hair slightly ruffled, and his skin still tanned from his many afternoons on the sailboat over the summer months. Nancy had gone with Henry and Janine several times since they had begun their fledgling relationship. Henry now beamed at Janine with immense love in his eyes.

  “I wanted to wish you all good luck,” he beamed at them all.

  “We’re going to need it,” Janine told him, her smile widening. “Who knows what might happen. We could trip going down the aisle.”

  “Mom! Don’t jinx us,” Maggie hissed.

  Janine stepped forward and dotted a kiss on Henry’s cheek, one that left the slightest smear of lipstick.

  “Save me a dance later?”

  “I’ll be the awkward one in the corner, waiting for my turn with you,” Henry said.

  Alyssa stepped forward. “Come on, you two. Don’t make us throw up.”

  Henry gestured toward the growing crowd. “I’d better grab myself a seat, I guess. This is the Martha’s Vineyard event of the century.”

  “Something like that,” Maggie replied with a nervous laugh.

  Henry stepped out and then ducked into one of the bride-side rows. Janine continued to grin, her eyes cast downward as though she swam through her own dreamland.

  “Mom’s in love,” Maggie sang. “Look at her. She’s like a schoolgirl.”

  “Oh, you quit it.” Janine swatted her daughter’s arm playfully.

  Suddenly, Jack Potter appeared in the doorway. His cheeks were tinged the slightest bit red, as though he’d already had too much to drink. His eyes scanned the group— the bridesmaids alongside Janine and Nancy, until he found the bride herself.

  “There she is— my Maggie.”

  Nancy was surprised at how warm his words sounded. He stepped toward her, wrapping his firm arms around her as though his entire life mission was to protect her from the evils of the world. Nancy’s heart thudded strangely. People were complicated. People held universes within their small brains. On the one hand, this man was a monster, but on the flipside, he loved his daughter very much.

  When Jack finally stepped back, his eyes were rimmed red with tears. “I can’t believe you’re getting married today, Mags. I still remember when you took your first step.”

  He glanced right-ward toward Janine. Janine held his gaze for a brief moment before she dropped all eye contact. Guaranteed, they could feel the old memories, the immensity of their story together. Still, they could also feel the enormity of the pain and destruction that took place between them, especially for Janine.

  “But Rex is a great guy,” Jack continued. “One of the best that a father could ask for. I mean, I still remember that idiot you dated in high school.”

  “Dad...” Maggie said as her smile widened.

  “It’s true. He was a clown.” Janine nodded in agreement.

  “Right?” Jack’s laughter was infectious.

  Nancy could feel it, then. It seemed obvious why Janine had fallen head-over-heels for this man. He was endlessly charming when he wanted to be. In a weird way, she was pleased that he had decided to draw out this “charm” right then, minutes before his daughter walked down the aisle. These were precious memories, despite their imperfections. Maybe their imperfections made them more precious. It was difficult to say.

  Jack then turned toward Alyssa, whose expression was stern and shadowed. Maggie was the more carefree one of the sister-duo; Alyssa held grudges. Nancy kind of liked this about Alyssa. It reminded her of herself.

  “Alyssa,” Jack said in greeting.

  “Jack,” Alyssa returned.

  “Come on, honey. Don’t be this way,” Jack told her.

  “Be what way, Jack?” Alyssa returned.

  Jack turned his attention back toward Maggie. “You ready to take this big leap?”

  Maggie nodded. “Ready as I’ll ever be.”

  Charlotte Hamner reappeared to tell them it was nearly time to walk down the aisle. Nancy headed out to her reserved chair, located on the right-hand side in the front row, mere feet from where Maggie and Rex would pledge their lives to one another. Beside her, Elsa, Bruce, Carmella, and Cody all sat serenely. Elsa gripped Nancy’s hand and squeezed it.

  “Are you feeling better?” she asked. “You look beautiful.”

  Nancy nodded. Off to the right, the string quintet swelled into the first song, which would bring the bridesmaids down the aisle. Nancy’s heart fluttered like a rabbit’s. Far down the row and three back, she spotted Maxine, who stared straight ahead with a stony expression. Nancy might have paid good money to ask Maxine what she thought of all of this. For years, she’d been something of an aunt to Maggie and Alyssa. Now, the girls hated her more than the devil himself.

  The bridesmaids arrived one by one, lining up on one side of the aisle, making space for the groomsmen on the other side. Rex stood center-stage, his hands folded over his waist as he awaited his bride. His eyes stirred with fear and longing. Despite his late-twenties age, he looked so youthful to Nancy. It was remarkable that young people seemed to have so much of an idea of what they wanted in the world. It had taken Nancy decades to figure out what she’d wanted. And even then, it had felt like a leap into the ether.

  There was no way to know, ever, if the decisions you made were correct.

  The quintet changed the song to the wedding march. It was now time for Maggie to make her dramatic journey down the aisle. Everyone stood to turn back. Janine finished her route down the aisle and then stepped in beside Nancy, where a final seat remained on her left. Janine’s eyes were rimmed with tears.

  “I don’t know if I can hold it together,” she told Nancy before she turned back to fully take in the sight of her soon-to-be ex-husband, walking her darling daughter down the aisle.

  Maggie walked with confidence, like a queen. After all, she was Manhattan royalty and had been trained to be looked at, to be appreciated in all her glory, since she’d been a young girl. Even still, the effect was mesmerizing. Several paparazzi had been allowed to the wedding and now flashed their cameras to take in full view of Maggie and her ornate, vintage wedding dress. Beside her, Jack Potter beamed, showing off his pride and joy, his daughter on the brink of marrying into another wealthy New York City elite family.

  Still, regardless of the status of the families, there was immense love within this union. One look into Rex’s eyes, and you found an endless promise of commitment, respect, and love. Nancy’s heart fluttered with the memory of Neal’s eyes on their wedding day. His had been the same.

  She felt it in her bones. Maggie had found, her life partner— not the sort of man who would leave her for her best friend after twenty years of marriage. At least, Nancy prayed that was so.

  Jack and Maggie appeared at the front of the aisle. There, he kissed her cheek and stepped off to the side, where he grabbed a chair toward the end of the row. Nancy noticed that he didn’t bother to sit next to Maxine. Perhaps their fight hadn’t been resolved.

  Silence filled the air as the pastor stepped forward to begin the service. Rex took Maggie’s hands in his and wagged his eyebrows playfully. Maggie seemed to suppress a giggle. Nancy prayed that they would always share such a sense of humor; she prayed that they would always find a way toward laughter, even in the darkest times.

  A tear rolled down Janine’s cheek. She snapped a finger up to catch it. Nancy leaned over and whispered into her ear.

  “She looks beautiful. And so, so happy.”

  Janine nodded. The look she gave Nancy made Nancy’s heart nearly burst.

  “I know I’ve already had to say goodbye to her,” Janine breathed now. “But this just feels so final.”

  “You know these girls can’t get enough of you,” Nancy told her. “They’re always knocking on my door begging for more time.”

  “And I hope it’s always like that,” Janine whispered. “I never want them to be far away from me. The way we were.”

&nb
sp; Nancy’s tears now threatened to fall. She’d swam through countless stories of resentment and fear and sorrow only that afternoon. Now, she had to focus on her inner strength, if only for Janine’s sake.

  “We have a whole lot of love to pass around, Janine,” she whispered. “This is only the beginning.”

  Maggie and Rex had both written their vows; much like Nancy and Neal had done all those years before. Nancy and Janine held hands as they listened.

  “Rex, from the moment I met you, I felt at home in your arms,” Maggie said tenderly. “I knew you would always be there to guide me and make me laugh, to show me how silly I can be sometimes, and to remind me that there is always something good around the corner if you only have the optimism to look for it.”

  Optimism! What a strange concept that had been before Neal had come around. Neal had taught Nancy how to search for it, even after so many decades of darkness.

  “I love you,” Maggie breathed, locking eyes with him. “And I pledge to honor that love, every single day of the rest of my life.”

  Nancy’s heart felt squeezed. Tears welled in her eyes and then rolled down her cheek. She had returned to her previous state as the messy, fifty-nine-year-old raccoon-eyed lady. But just then, she didn’t care. Maggie pressed her lips against her groom and fell into marriage, just like that. If she had the optimism to hope for this beautiful future with Rex, then Nancy had the optimism to keep living— as long as her body allowed it.

  Chapter Nine

  “Alyssa! Can you please concentrate?” Maggie blared from inside the bathroom stall, where the two sisters had ducked out for Maggie’s post-photograph bathroom break. Nancy and Janine waited near the sinks and exchanged glances as a large white dress fluffed around near the floor. “If you let me fall into this toilet on my wedding day, so help me, God.”

  “Chill out, Mags,” Alyssa told her. “Or else I’ll push you into the toilet myself.”

  “Girls? Do I have to come in there?” Janine threatened as she suppressed a laugh.

  “Mom! Tell Alyssa to stop messing around. This is serious.”

  Janine arched an eyebrow toward Nancy and whispered, “This is exactly how they were as kids. Perfect children until they get tired and hungry.”

  “I’m starving!” Alyssa hollered from within the stall. “Can you go grab me one of those appetizers?”

  Janine laughed and turned back to face the mirror. She leaned forward and drew a line across her lip with her perfectly manicured nails. As Alyssa and Maggie quieted down, Nancy joined her daughter at the sink and re-applied some eye shadow, just for something to do.

  “It was a beautiful ceremony,” she told Janine. “It really was.”

  “So far, so good. No real drama yet,” Janine murmured.

  Nancy burned to ask her daughter what had happened when she’d seen Maxine. Had they had any contact yet? Janine heaved a sigh and righted her shoulders.

  “I’d better go make the rounds and find Henry. He’s fine on his own, but I feel bad leaving him out there among the wolves. Are you coming?”

  “I’ll join you in a bit,” Nancy told her.

  Maggie and Alyssa scrambled from the bathroom, bursting out from the stall as though they’d been physically stuffed inside. Alyssa made a final adjustment to Maggie’s gown. Maggie investigated her makeup and then practiced her smile in the mirror.

  “You’re a freak,” Alyssa said to Maggie’s reflection.

  “Easy for you to say. All eyes are on me tonight,” Maggie told her. “I have to look my best.”

  “You look simply magnificent,” Nancy told Maggie.

  “You have to say that, Grandma,” Maggie said. “Or they’d revoke your grandmother card.”

  Nancy chuckled as Alyssa smeared some blush across her cheek.

  “Grandma, I wish you had a date out there,” Alyssa confessed with a sad smile.

  “Maybe you could save me a dance?” Nancy teased.

  Alyssa nodded. “It would be my honor.”

  The girls disappeared after that. Nancy walked into the stall and exhaled long and slow, trying to have full control over her thoughts again. She felt the fatigue curl around the back of her skull, a constant reminder that all was not so well. As she perched at the edge of the toilet seat, three women walked in with the click of their high heels echoing throughout the room and paraded around the sink and mirror, already gossiping.

  “You saw what Maxine was wearing, didn’t you?” one of the women said.

  “She looks — hmm — like she’s trying to prove something,” another woman affirmed.

  “You think? All that cleavage and that cut up the leg?” Her voice was heavy with sarcasm.

  “I spotted Janine and Maxine just a few feet away from one another while the photographs were being taken,” another said. “You could feel the air shift. I expected an earthquake to happen.”

  “Poor Janine. Everyone at the wedding can only talk about one thing. Her divorce and her break-up from Maxine.”

  “Well, Maxine and Janine were thicker than thieves. And they grew up poor, which, apparently, binds people together.”

  “Not that you would know that,” another woman chimed in, just as she let out a high-pitched, screeching laugh.

  “Do you think Maxine regrets it?”

  “What? Haven’t we all talked about hooking up with Jack Potter at one time or another?”

  “I’m happily married, thank you very much,” another pointed out.

  “As if any of us are happily married.”

  “Oh, you’re cruel, Samantha.”

  Nancy’s heart dropped into the pit of her gut. One by one, the women either walked into other stalls or headed back into the bubbling chaos of the reception. Nancy stepped out, washed her hands, and then headed into the hallway.

  Happiness and life-long commitment— what did any of it mean? And was a wedding between Maggie and Rex the place for such an awful intrusive conversation about divorce and betrayal? Nancy stepped off toward the drink table and ordered herself a vodka tonic, which she drank slowly through a straw, eyeing the rest of the crowd. The string quintet from earlier played light tunes; the string sounds swelled through the air as they eased their bows this way, then that.

  Maxine stood about fifteen feet to Nancy’s right. She clutched what looked to be a martini and stared straight ahead. She had that perpetually cool, French regal feel to her even there at her ex-best friend’s daughter’s wedding. She should be studied by science. How could a woman perform such a cruel action?

  Janine burst out from the far end of the crowd, no more than five feet from Maxine. The two women locked eyes. Janine faltered; her heel dropped off to the side, and her knee fell. Maxine leaped forward and grabbed her elbow as the crowd around them gasped. Nancy placed her vodka tonic off to the side and hustled forward to help. Meanwhile, Janine’s eyes found Maxine’s as Maxine righted her. Gossip swirled instantly.

  “Did she push her?” one woman asked as Nancy rushed past.

  “I wouldn’t put it past her.”

  “Catfight!”

  Everyone would have loved it if that rumor was true. All that had happened was Janine tripping in her overly-high, overly-expensive heels, and another woman helping her to her feet. It was simple: a generous act between two humans.

  “Jan. Are you okay, honey?” Nancy appeared beside her daughter as Maxine’s arm dropped to her side.

  Janine adjusted her dress. Her eyes remained on Maxine’s. The number of words unsaid between these two women could have filled a dictionary.

  “I’m fine,” Janine finally blurted out.

  Maxine sniffed. She offered no smile. “Nancy. Janine,” she finally said. “Good to see you both together again.”

  Janine’s eyes squinted, indicating her uneasiness. She shifted her weight. “I’ve lived here on Martha’s Vineyard with Mom since June.”

  Nancy was surprised Janine gave Maxine any of this information. Perhaps it came from some kind of habit. Perhaps
the moment Janine saw her lifelong best friend, she wanted to blurt out all the inner-aching of her soul. After all, Janine had said that one of the hardest things about losing Maxine had been that she couldn’t discuss her divorce with her dearest friend. “She was taken from me, and she did the taking,” Janine had said.

  “I’m so glad you found one another again,” Maxine offered.

  Nancy placed her hand around Janine’s elbow and tugged tenderly. Janine seemed regretful to leave. The cocktail hour would soon be finished; dinner would begin. As Janine and Nancy stepped away, Jack appeared alongside Maxine and muttered something in her ear, something that made her eyes turn hard and cold. Nancy considered telling Janine about the fight she’d heard prior to the ceremony and then thought better of it. In just a few more hours, the wedding would be finished. Jack and Maxine would retreat to Manhattan, where they belonged. And Henry and Janine would be allowed to continue on their journey of healing and budding love.

  Nancy was seated at the family table with Janine, Henry, Maggie, Rex, and Rex’s parents. Maxine and Jack were located on the far end of the table. Jack’s face was rigid, and one could tell he was extremely uncomfortable even though this was his daughter’s wedding. As the first glasses of champagne were poured, he clacked his fork and forced the massive crowd to quiet down. Maxine whispered something into his ear, and he gave her a horrible, penetrating look.

  Nancy wondered if she’d pleaded with him not to do whatever it was he would do next. Probably, after years of wondering about Jack Potter, years of lusting after him, Maxine now had to face the truth of her actions: that she was involved with a monster masked as a man.

  “Good evening, everyone.” Jack’s voice boomed over the crowd. They directed their attention easily toward him. He was the sort of man you didn’t ignore. “I’d like to welcome you all to the wedding of my eldest daughter, Maggie— one of the great loves of my life. Today, we welcome Rex into the family.” He lifted his champagne flute toward Rex, who nodded firmly in his direction.

  What did Rex think of Jack Potter? He was difficult to read. Probably, he had to show the man unlimited respect, for Maggie’s sake.