Escape To Christmas at Corner Cottage

by Sarah Hope

  Straining to hear through the door, only silence met her ears.

  ‘You know I love you, don’t you? You know how much I love you. Sophia?’

  ‘Yes, I know.’

  ‘Right, well, it’s the same, isn’t it? Me and Daddy have split up, but you know I still love you and it’s the same with Daddy. He still loves you too.’

  ‘Umm.’

  ‘He does, darling. You’ll see that at the weekend. You’ll understand that he still loves you. Now, why don’t you open the door?’ Hearing soft footsteps as Sophia crossed the lino, Chrissy stood up.

  Sophia opened the door. Her tear streaked cheeks pale, the end of her nose red.

  ‘Oh, Sophia. Come here.’ Pulling her towards her, Chrissy hugged her small frame tightly before running the pads of her thumbs across Sophia’s cheeks, wiping the tears away. ‘I love you, sweetheart.’

  ‘I just don’t like it.’

  ‘Like what?’

  ‘This. All of this. I want you and Daddy to get back together.’

  ‘I know you do.’

  ‘But you won’t, will you? That’s what I’ve been telling Evie, that you won’t, because I don’t want her getting her hopes up and feeling sad all over again. But I want you to.’

  ‘I know you do.’ The number of arguments Chrissy had had to field over the past few weeks, some of them louder than others, some of them involving the twins lashing out at each other, and they had all been Sophia trying to protect her sister. Chrissy kissed the top of her head. ‘It’s going to take a bit of time, but we will all get used to our new lives. And you’ll get used to Daddy being with Susan too.’

  ‘I don’t want to.’

  ‘I know, but you will. Just because me and Daddy aren’t together anymore, it doesn’t mean that we can’t be happy again. We will be.’

  ‘Is Evie downstairs?’

  ‘Yes, she’s choosing a film for us to watch. Do you want to go and help her?’

  ‘Ok.’

  Watching Sophia walk downstairs, Chrissy pulled her cardigan tighter. Sinking to the floor, she let her own tears flow. She wrapped her arms around her knees and rocked. That was it then. Her marriage was definitely over. Andrew had completely moved on. Was that why he’d moved Susan in so quickly? To tell Chrissy in no uncertain terms that there was no going back?

  Chapter 6

  ‘Daddy’s here! And he’s driving the van!’ Evie jumped up from the window ledge where she had been perching, ran to the hall and threw the front door open.

  ‘Mind the road.’ Chrissy came through from the kitchen, peering out of the window as Evie ran down towards the van. Automatically, she scooped her hair up into a messy bun. She should have put that deep conditioning hair mask on last night. Not that it mattered anyway. Who was she fooling? Andrew didn’t care what she looked like, he didn’t love her anymore regardless.

  She could see him coming up the path, Evie jogging excitedly next to him, hanging onto his every word, no doubt. Picking up Sophia’s abandoned notebook from the floor, Chrissy wished she’d been able to sleep better last night, she knew she looked like a washed out mess. She’d had visions of looking radiant when he came. She had wanted to raise a little doubt in his mind as to if he had made the right decision. She put the notebook on the coffee table, she was being completely daft, she knew she was, but she still wanted him to think she was doing ok, better than ok, on her own without him. Still, today wasn’t about her and Andrew. Today was about the twins. They were her priority.

  ‘Chrissy.’

  ‘Hi, Andrew.’ Biting her bottom lip, she forced herself to ignore the fact that he had come into the living room wearing his shoes. She was no longer the nagging wife, not that she had been, but taking shoes off at the door had always been one of their family rules. She would not say anything. She would not. She would make him think she was laid back about it. Plus, he was probably only keeping them on to annoy her. She looked around the room. Evie was trying to stuff her soft toy mouse into her rucksack and Sophia was nowhere to be seen. She had more important things to worry about than dirty floorboards. She knew that.

  ‘Can I have a quick word?’

  ‘Yes, come into the kitchen.’ Chrissy led the way, standing by the sink as he shut the kitchen door. She knew what was coming.

  ‘You deserve to know something.’ Looking at his feet, he shuffled from side to side.

  ‘I know. You’ve moved Susan into your new place.’ Much to her disgust, she couldn’t stop her voice from rasping, from catching around the word ‘Susan’. She’d never get comfortable saying that woman’s name. Not now, not ever. She’d planted the missile that had blown her family apart.

  ‘Not quite. I’ve moved into hers. We thought it was the easiest thing to do. She owns her own home, you see. It made more sense than me renting.’

  ‘You’ve moved into hers?’ Her voice, barely a whisper, seemed to echo around the small kitchen. ‘I don’t understand.’

  ‘As I said, we just thought it would be easier.’

  ‘But you told the girls she’d moved into yours?’

  ‘I know. I just got flustered and didn’t know what to say to them.’

  Turning around, Chrissy stared at the sink, dish soap suds still clung to the metal sides, slowly dispersing down the plughole. Taking a deep breath, she turned back to face him. ‘If you were going to move in with her anyway, why didn’t you do it earlier? Why did you carry on with us all living together at home, our old home?’ It didn’t make any sense.

  Shifting his gaze to the bottle of squash the twins had left out on the work surface, he moved it an inch to the left and then back again, clearing his throat as he did. ‘We...I didn’t think it would be respectful.’

  ‘Respectful? Nothing about this is respectful. Sleeping with your mistress behind my back for goodness knows how many months, isn’t respectful.’ Chrissy curled her index fingers, making quotation marks. ‘Why start being respectful now?’

  ‘I guess, I wanted the twins to get used to the fact that we were splitting up before I left.’

  ‘I don’t know why. I think it probably was pretty darn obvious to the poor little mites that something was up when you introduced them to your mistress behind my back and told them to lie to me about it. You got our girls to lie to me, their own mother. You know how I feel about lying and secrets.’ Chrissy shook her head.

  ‘Not lie. I asked them not to say anything to you, that’s completely different.’ Andrew looked at his feet.

  ‘Omitting the truth, lying, it’s all the same and you know it. Don’t you ever dare make them lie to me again.’ Looking up, she looked him in the eye. ‘Andrew, are you listening to me? I promise you, if you make my girls lie to me again...’

  ‘Please don’t start.’ He held his hands up, palms facing her.

  Chrissy took a deep breath in, don’t start! How dare he? She wasn’t starting anything, she was merely telling him to stop making their children lie to her! Plus, she had every right to ‘start’ if she wanted to. She shook her head, it wasn’t worth it. He wasn’t worth it. Not anymore. ‘Did you bring the sofa and beds?’

  ‘Yes. Can you come out and help me?’

  WITH THE SOFA IN POSITION in the living room and the mattresses and bed frames in piles in the bedrooms, Andrew stood at the front door.

  ‘Are you ready, Evie?’

  ‘I will be in just a second.’ Evie glanced up at Chrissy and back at her dad.

  ‘Ok. I’ll wait in the van. Chrissy will you send Sophia out soon. I’ve got to get back.’

  Chrissy nodded and watched him retreat to the van. ‘Ok, are you all set, Evie?’

  ‘I guess so. It’s not going to be the same it being Susan’s house and not Daddy’s though.’

  ‘It’s still Daddy’s new place.’

  ‘I guess so.’ Leaning her head against Chrissy’s chest, Evie wrapped her arms around her waist. ‘I love you, Mummy.’

  ‘I know you do. I love you too, sweetheart, more than y
ou will ever understand.’ Holding Evie’s face gently in her hands, Chrissy kissed Evie on the cheek. ‘Right, you go and jump in the van and I’ll hurry your sister up.’

  ‘Ok.’

  Chrissy watched as Evie walked down the narrow path to the van, stopping and waving back at her.

  After blowing her a kiss, Chrissy turned and made her way up the stairs. ‘Sophia, darling. Are you ready?’

  ‘I’m not going.’ Sophia’s muffled voice floated from her bedroom.

  ‘Hey, Sophia.’ Lowering herself to Sophia’s airbed, Chrissy felt around until she found Sophia’s back under the duvet and rubbed it. ‘Daddy’s waiting for you.’

  ‘I’m not going.’

  ‘Don’t you want to go and check out Daddy’s new house?’

  ‘I don’t care about his new house. I’m not going. Ever.’

  ‘Why not, Sophia?’

  ‘Because he’s chosen her over you.’ Sophia sat up quickly, pulling her duvet down to reveal her tearstained cheeks.

  ‘Oh, darling. He can’t help the way he feels or who he falls in love with.’ She stopped herself shouting that yes, he had chosen the wonderful Susan over herself and he could help who he fell in love with, especially when he was married and shouldn’t have been looking in the first place. He should have been in love with his wife, with her. ‘And, he’s still your dad.’

  ‘I don’t care who he is. It’s not right. Why can’t anyone else see that?’

  Chrissy pulled Sophia in for a hug, enveloping her small body with her arms. She wanted to agree with her that, yes, she could see how wrong he was, but she couldn’t. She knew she had to put on her mum-face and be strong for the twins. She knew she had to try to guide them through this life-changing nightmare as best she could, hoping they’d come through with as little scars as possible, hoping they’d keep their innocence and positive outlook on life. ‘Your dad made a choice, yes, but he didn’t mean to hurt you.’

  ‘He meant to hurt you though.’ Sophia ground her teeth together, a habit she had had when she got angry since she was a baby.

  ‘I don’t think he meant to hurt me. Not really...he just fell in love again and didn’t think about the consequences. He’s just trying to be happy, which everyone needs to do.’

  ‘Is he happy now? Happy with her?’

  ‘I hope so.’ Mentally she crossed her fingers, she hoped they were arguing every day, she hoped he was being condescending and unsupportive like he had been with her, but Sophia didn’t need to hear that. ‘Now, why don’t you get a wriggle on? Daddy’s waiting to see you.’

  ‘Chrissy! Can you ask Sophia to come down here now! I need to get going.’ Andrew called up the stairs.

  ‘One minute.’ Chrissy tried to keep her voice steady and light. She could tell from the edge in his voice that he was getting irate.

  ‘I don’t want to leave you on your own. It’s not fair, you haven’t done anything wrong.’

  ‘Thank you for worrying about me, but honestly, I’ll be fine. I’m going to put the beds up and make your bedrooms all nice for when you get back. I might even pop out for a nice coffee somewhere too.’

  ‘Are you sure you’ll be ok?’ Sophia clasped Chrissy’s hand.

  ‘Yes, I promise. You can always ask to borrow Daddy’s phone and ring me if you want to.’

  ‘Ok.’

  STANDING BY THE GATE, Chrissy waved them off, blowing them kisses as the van pulled away and pretending to catch the ones blown back to her. She stood still, watching as they rounded the corner. Gripping the cold metal of the gate, she stopped herself from running after them, from yelling at Andrew to stop and telling him that he’d chosen this new life for them and didn’t deserve to tear the twins away from her.

  Slowly, she turned her back on the empty road and walked back up the garden path to the cottage. She pulled at a stinging nettle growing near the front step, watching as white spots emerged, covering the skin on her fingers. Trying to focus on the pain in her fingertips, she tried to block out the pain in her heart.

  ‘Come on, Star, back in.’

  STANDING AT THE KITCHEN sink, Chrissy let the cold water wash over her fingers, numbing the sting. Was this really happening to her? Had he really taken the twins away from her for the whole weekend? What was she supposed to do?

  Bringing her hands to her face, she covered her mouth, a rasping sob escaping. This was her new reality. This was her life now.

  Twisting around, she sank to the floor, the cold from the tiles seeping through her jeans, the water from her hands mixing with the tears running down her face. She’d done nothing wrong. She’d always supported Andrew, both with his work and with his hobbies. Yes, she’d used to complain when he got home from work only to go straight out to rugby or to meet clients for dinner, but that was only because she’d wanted him at home. She’d wanted them to have some time together as a family.

  Shaking her head, she pulled Star, who had come to lay next to her, onto her lap. She’d never stopped him from going out, from pursuing his goals in work or in rugby. Maybe that’s what had led them here. Maybe he’d felt unwanted, unloved. Maybe she should have been the wife who stamped her foot and demanded he stay home. Maybe then, he would have known how much he was loved. He would have felt needed. Maybe she had brought this all on herself.

  Well, he must feel needed now, loved and needed. He must actually love this Susan woman. Maybe he always had and maybe it was Chrissy’s fault for not realising earlier and doing something about it. When she’d started work at Andrew’s office he had told Chrissy that he had known her at school, that they had gone out when they were in secondary school and at university. Chrissy should have realised that she was trying to weave her way back into Andrew’s life. She should have put a stop to it. She should have made him fire her or relocate her, or something. Instead, she’d laughed it off, after all, her Andrew would never cheat on her. Chrissy laughed, she’d been so stupid. So naïve, so trusting.

  And what was this about him moving in with her? If he’d planned on moving in with her, why hadn’t he just gone when he’d broken off the marriage? Why would he have wanted to spend eight unbearable months, walking on eggshells and trying to avoid each other stuck in a small three bedroom house while it was on the market? It didn’t make any sense. It just didn’t. Plus, if he’d left, Chrissy and the twins could have stayed in the house. It would have been less upheaval for the girls. They could have stayed on at their school, could have had the support of their friends.

  Chrissy pulled Star closer. Unless? No, Andrew wouldn’t be so callous, so uncaring, not towards his own children, his own flesh and blood, would he? No. But that was the only logical explanation. He had stayed on in the house, pretended he didn’t have anywhere to go, so that they had sold meaning that Chrissy couldn’t have stayed there. He had, hadn’t he? That’s what he had done. He’d wanted his share of the equity.

  Burying her face in Star’s soft fur, it hit Chrissy that she didn’t really know Andrew at all. She’d fallen in love with him, lived with him for eleven years and promised her life to him, but she didn’t know him. At all. He wasn’t the loyal, family orientated man that she had believed he was. He was a stranger. A devious, uncaring stranger who could cheat on his wife for months until he decided that he wanted to wrench his family apart so he could move in with his mistress.

  He was a cold-hearted, heartless stranger who was happy to see his own children be dragged forcefully from a school they were happy at to face an uncertain education and go through the trauma of trying to fit in, trying to make new friends in an unfamiliar school miles away from where they had been happy.

  He was a money-grabbing, unfeeling stranger who would prefer his children end up in rented accommodation rather than let them stay in the home they had grown up in, a home where they would have the security of knowing they could live there throughout all of their childhood.

  She didn’t know him at all. And, in truth, she didn’t like the real him, this him. He wa
sn’t the man she had married. Not anymore.

  Pressing the heels of her hands against her eyes, she tried to push the ever-increasing dull ache away. The weekend stretched before her, the hours, minutes and seconds endless until she got her girls back, until their new tiny family unit was back together again. How was she supposed to survive without them?

  She pulled herself up and splashed water on her face. That’s what she’d do, she’d go into town and get them a cheap mobile to share. That way they’d still have contact and they would be able to ring or message her if they needed.

  Chapter 7

  Chrissy ran the hairbrush through her wet hair before switching the kettle on. The bed frames were put together and the beds were made. The twin’s rooms were actually looking like proper bedrooms now rather than just an empty space to sleep. She pulled the sleeves of her pyjama top down to her wrists, it was getting cold. Maybe she could light the wood burner. What was the point though, it would be a waste of logs, heating the house just for her?

  Placing her coffee mug on the coffee table, Chrissy pulled her legs up underneath her on the sofa and flicked through the TV channels again. There was nothing on. At all. Hitting the power button, Chrissy drummed her fingers against the side of the sofa. She should make a start on Natalie’s wedding dress, but she just couldn’t bring herself to, not today.

  ‘That’s it.’ Pushing herself to standing, Chrissy downed the rest of her coffee. She needed a drink, a proper drink. There was the pub at the end of the High Street. She’d pop in for a quick drink, hopefully it would quieten the thoughts hammering in her mind.

  NARROWLY MISSING A puddle, Chrissy shoved her hands in her pockets, she’d never done anything like this before, she’d never been into a pub or even a café on her own. Not once. What would people think of her? New to the village and drinking alone? Who cared? Chrissy had enough of her own problems to think about, she didn’t need to start worrying about what people thought of her. Plus, it wasn’t as though she was going in there to get drunk. She’d just slip in, grab a drink and find a quiet table. Nobody would even know she was there.