by Eliza Boyd
Helen nudged Nicole with her elbow to drive the point home. “He can’t take his eyes off you!” she whisper-shouted to her.
When Jude came down the aisle with Melody’s sister, her maid of honor, he did the same thing with Helen: eyes on her, a wink at the end. And that only confused Nicole more.
The worst part was during the actual ceremony. When the entire crowd was watching Roger and Melody as they recited their vows, Evan kept peeking at her. She only knew because she kept doing the same with him. His gaze on her felt warm and almost sexy. Like they had a secret, which they did, but they didn’t want it to be a secret anymore. Every time they caught each other, they’d start to grin only to school it back so they didn’t get caught. She tried to tell herself that it was part of the game, but she wasn’t so sure.
Helen though. Man, nothing got past her. She noticed every few times it happened, poking Nicole in the leg and smiling at her like it was the greatest thing since sliced bread.
It made Nicole more curious about what had happened to him in the past. If his friends were so happy to see him with someone, how much had he been hurt before? Was it as bad as she’d been hurt? If so, were either of them truly ready for a relationship anyway? She thought the only way he’d open up was if she did first. So she decided to do just that as soon as they were alone.
The moment the wedding was over, though, Evan found her standing near the altar with Helen, who was waiting for Jude. Jude was right behind Evan, and when he found his wife, he slipped his hand into hers and guided her away. With the two of them gone, Nicole and Evan were alone. As soon as he reached her, the smile on his face couldn’t have been any bigger.
“There you are,” he said, sneaking a hand around her waist.
“Hey.” She went to kiss him on the cheek.
But he turned at the last second and she planted her lips right on his instead.
She made it a quick peck, backing away before it became something more. The shock of it happening on accident had freaked her out more than anything. Plus, they really needed to talk. Not kiss more. If they kissed again, she’d never want to talk. She’d be done for.
Yet that’s exactly what happened. Like a magnet, he leaned forward again, pressing his lips against hers, kissing her with the passion of an actual fiancé. His hand against her back brought her closer to him, and his free hand came up to her face, the tips of his fingers caressing her cheek. Butterflies tore loose in frantic circles around her belly, and her head felt light, like a balloon someone had let go of, floating up into the sky.
Kissing him felt so incredibly right.
But she knew nothing about him.
And she’d known so much about Peter, yet he’d still obliterated her heart.
Nicole used her hand to guide his away from her face as she broke the kiss. “The wedding was great, wasn’t it?” she asked, hoping to guide this interaction elsewhere.
A tiny crease formed in Evan’s brow as he pulled his head back to get a good look at her. It was as if he’d forgotten for a moment that none of this was real. That they were supposed to kiss like that all the time because they were really together and he couldn’t figure out why she’d ended it.
To Nicole, this was becoming worrisome. They hadn’t made any kind of plan for when their friends got too invested or if this became too real to one of them. In fact, they hadn’t made any kind of plan at all. Just that Hadley would never be involved. So far so good on that. But his friends were involved now. People who loved and cared about him were overjoyed to see him moving on.
This time, it was her turn to utter the words that never led to something good.
“We need to talk.”
11
Uh oh. Evan didn’t like the sound of that. This wasn’t the place for their fake relationship—which was feeling all too real in the best way possible, which wasn’t exactly a good thing—to fall apart.
“Sure,” he said. “But I just came by to let you know that I have to go take wedding photos for a while. I wanted to make sure you were okay.”
“I’m fine,” she answered too quickly.
When he raised an eyebrow, she relented and gave the truth up.
“I guess I’m not. But it can wait.” She playfully shooed him away and then gave him a gentle shove. “Go play model with your friends.”
Before her hands fell away from his chest, he snatched them in midair and then held them. “Have I told you how thankful I am that you’re here?” He didn’t let her answer. He didn’t need one. He should have said it earlier, but he was saying it now—and punctuating it with a kiss on her knuckles, which he was becoming used to doing.
Then he walked away, peeking over his shoulder a few steps later. She was watching him go, which gave him hope. But the look in her eyes worried him. What had happened while he’d been up at the altar with Roger and Melody?
Thirty minutes later, his face hurt from forcing a smile so much. The photographer had put them into every cliché wedding pose, but Melody seemed to love it. He hoped the pictures would come out just the way she wanted them to so she could fondly remember such a wonderful day.
A wonderful day for them, anyway.
He wasn’t so sure that it’d be wonderful for him.
Once the reception was underway, Evan barely had a chance to speak to Nicole. He was over at the head table with the bride and the groom because he was in the wedding party. But Nicole seemed comfortable with Helen. Mostly anyway. Every now and then, she had to shake her head or reengage in the conversation. He only noticed because he was keeping an eye on her to make sure she was okay.
At least that’s what he told himself.
Between the kiss the night before and the one there at the wedding—which hadn’t been for anyone else’s benefit—he was letting his attraction to Nicole get the better of him. He had to pull it together and remember why they were doing this: for his daughter and her father. Once the wedding was over, they wouldn’t need to keep doing this. They’d keep it up in name only until Hadley got into Pemhall Prep. Then they’d never have to see each other again.
That idea hurt Evan more than he cared to admit. But for his daughter, he’d figure it out.
As soon as the cake had been cut and the DJ asked everyone to get on the dance floor, Evan made a beeline to Nicole. If this was the last night they’d have together as fake fiancés, then he’d take advantage of that by spending as much time with her as he could.
Without getting his heart too tangled up in it.
When he approached her this time, he didn’t kiss her hands, her cheeks, or her lips. Instead, he put his hands on the top of the chair next to her and glanced at her. “Having a good time?”
“I am,” Nicole said from her seat, lifting her champagne glass. “Everything is so beautiful.”
Evan wanted to take her words at face value, but there was a sadness in her eyes, a gloomy lilt to her tone. Something was wrong. And he realized it was probably him.
“Hey, I’m sorry about earlier. That kiss.” He took a seat next to her. “I shouldn’t have done that.”
“I just…” she started, but her words trailed off. “We made no rules. But your friends are involved now, Evan. It’s getting confusing.”
“I know.” He took her hand and held it with both of his. “This isn’t what I intended for this. And I’m sorry I’ve dragged you through this. But we just have to get through tonight. Once this night is over, we can go our separate ways.” He tried to smile even though the words made his heart squeeze. “Hopefully my daughter will be in that school and your father will be on the mend.”
She gripped his fingers in a squeeze before slipping her hand away. “Yeah. Hopefully.”
The vise around his heart cranked tighter. “What’s wrong?” he asked.
Leaning back in her chair, she brushed dinner crumbs around on the tablecloth. “Remember that past I didn’t want to talk about?”
“Yeah,” he answered, scooting forward to get closer to her.
He needed to be near her when she finally opened up to him.
“Maybe we could—”
Helen came up to them then, cutting Nicole’s words off. “Hey, you two. Go dance! The bride and groom want you out there with everyone.” She made a shooing motion to get them moving.
Whatever Nicole wanted to say could probably be said on the dance floor, so he figured it wouldn’t hurt to keep appearances up as they talked. He held a hand out, hoping she wouldn’t deny him this time. “Can I have this dance?”
With tiny claps of her hands, Helen made her excitement over the prospect known. He hoped that helped persuade Nicole to take a spin with him.
In the end, he wasn’t sure if that’s what did it, but she took his hand anyway and stood. His heart leapt as she led him onto the dance floor. The dress she had on swished and shone in the spotlights, the bright red his new favorite color. It hugged her body in the right places before flaring out at her waist. It was tasteful, and he wondered if she’d bought it just for this.
As he cupped the small of her back with his hand and guided her toward him, he held his other hand up in the air. When her hand landed in that one, he brought it to his shoulder and began to sway, taking the lead to the rhythm of a song he wasn’t familiar with. It was slow, sweet, and lowkey though. He wanted to burn it into his memory so he’d recall it in future moments when he thought of Nicole again. When all of this was over, he wanted to remember her just like this: in his arms, spinning her around on the dance floor, surrounded by all of his friends.
With her head on his shoulder, feeling like she wanted to be there with him.
Her words were a little muffled when she started to speak. “Two years ago, I had to pack everything up and move back here from Phoenix. It’s a long story, but I stayed there after college, thinking my dad would be fine without me. And he was…until he wasn’t.” She straightened her head, but she wouldn’t look him in the eye. Instead, she focused on their clasped hands. “When I decided to come back here to take care of him, I thought Peter would come with me.” Her voice broke on the unfamiliar name. She tilted her head back, and the spotlights overhead caught on the tears in her eyes. “Obviously, he didn’t.”
Evan breathed in, wishing he could take some of her sorrow with it. “I’m so sorry,” he told her, meaning every word.
“It is what it is, I guess.” She shrugged like it wasn’t a big deal, but clearly, it was. Then she put her head back on his shoulder. “It’s just…I thought we were in love. For three years, I assumed that this man I spent every day with was going to be by my side forever. That we’d get married and go to Belize like we’d always talked about. That he’d choose to come with me if I needed to go take care of my father when he lost part of his leg. But he didn’t.”
When she lifted her head, he saw something he hadn’t seen before in her eyes. Regret? Heartache? It cut deep, making his feet falter. Then they stopped dancing altogether.
Only for a moment though. She helped them find their rhythm again, which was for the best. No one around them needed to know what was really going on with them.
“And the worst part was that I didn’t just lose Peter. I lost everyone.” She put so much stress on that word, shaking her head in disbelief. Then she scoffed. “I’d already lost almost everyone before I’d even left home. All of my friends—our friends—thought I was being selfish for making him choose. That I shouldn’t have done that to him, and if I really loved him, I would have stayed.” Rolling her eyes, she scoffed. But then a tear fell down her cheek, and when she didn’t make a move for it, he did.
“They’re wrong,” he told her, his thumb gliding across her skin and catching the moisture. The hand he had behind her back pressed her closer to him. He just wanted to hold her, to comfort her, even as his heart broke for her.
“Maybe so.” She lifted her shoulders and then let them fall. “But the fact is that being in that relationship hurt me—and it also hurt other people when it ended.”
With her gaze squarely on his, the meaning of her words wasn’t lost. There was no mistaking what she was trying to say.
“Evan, we’ve gotten too many people involved in this. Too many of your friends are so excited to see that you’ve moved on after something pretty terrible happened to you.”
He opened his mouth to say…something. He wasn’t sure what. Maybe he wanted to finally open up about Patty. But she kept going, holding a hand in the air to stop him.
“They didn’t tell me what it was. They respect you enough to let you tell that story. Though I led Helen to believe I already knew. Whatever it is, it sounds awful—especially if you haven’t ‘moved on’ until now,” she said, using air quotes. “All I know for sure is that”—she whisked her gaze around the dance floor to secretively indicate everyone around—“all of these people are going to get hurt when we end this. Because it can’t go on forever.” She wiped the tears that had escaped while she’d been talking. “In fact,” she said before sniffling, “it’ll be over before we know it. I’m sure Hadley will get into that school soon.”
Evan didn’t know what to say to that. She was right. Too many people knew. And they were invested. That wasn’t fair to them, and it wasn’t fair that he was putting Nicole through this when she’d been through enough already.
He wanted to tell her that it didn’t have to end. That they could try this thing for real. That they didn’t have to hurt his friends or each other—they could give a relationship a shot. But he didn’t think this was the right time. Not while she was crying and recalling memories of an ex-boyfriend who’d completely broken her heart.
No, if he ever asked her that, it needed to be when the moment was solely theirs.
And it had to be after he’d told her about Patty.
It felt like a good time for that, while her heart was pouring out of her. He could do the same.
“Nine years ago, I met Hadley’s mom,” he started, pulling Nicole close to speak against her ear. The song changed to something more upbeat, but they swayed to the same rhythm anyway, slow and steady. “We had a tumultuous relationship. We’d get together and break up, get together and break up. We kept breaking up because she never felt ready to settle down. When I’d finally relent to keeping it casual just to keep her around, we’d work it out. But then she found out she was pregnant with Had.”
His breath caught as the memory washed over him. Patty originally hadn’t wanted to keep their daughter. She’d eventually decided to go through with the pregnancy though, after so much begging and pleading on Evan’s side. He’d made an immense amount of promises, all of which he’d kept to that day. He’d be the one to take care of Hadley. Bathe her, feed her, change her diapers. He’d pay for everything—all the care she needed, her clothes, school, and daycare. He’d do it all.
Patty had taken that literally.
“After she was born,” he continued, his breathing shallow, “Patty decided she’d be a mom when she felt like it. We’d go months without seeing her, and I finally had to give her an ultimatum. Before Hadley was old enough to remember her, she needed to decide if she wanted to be a permanent fixture in our lives. I knew what she was going to say, but I had to hear her say it.” He had to pause to unclench his jaw. “I needed her to say it out loud so she could see what she was doing to us.”
Nicole pulled back, looking him in the eye. “She chose to leave.”
It wasn’t a question. She knew too. It was obvious, seeing as Patty wasn’t around, but there was more to it than that. Evan could see it in her gaze. Something serious floated just beyond the surface. Something she hadn’t told him yet even after all of her admissions.
He nodded to answer her though, wondering what else she hadn’t mentioned of her past.
“Goodness, Evan,” she breathed before putting her head back on his shoulder.
He tilted his head so his cheek was pressed against her hair. “That was six years ago. But I think we’re better this way. All of us. If she couldn’t stick aro
und for more than a week at a time, Hadley would have grown up with such instability. This way, she only has one parent, but that one parent is solid. I’m not going to let her down.”
Her arm tightened around him. It was probably meant to be a friendly hug, one that imparted an I understand kind of feel. But Evan couldn’t stop himself from wishing it were more, even as he felt raw and ripped apart.
When she let him go and stood before him, her eyes glittered in the colored lights. “Think we can get out of here? I’ve had enough for tonight.” She shrugged one shoulder, her lips pursed to the side of her mouth.
He couldn’t have agreed with that more. “Yeah,” he told her, holding his hand out. As she took it, he said, “Let’s go.”
With everyone’s eyes on the bride and groom, they slipped out unnoticed. At least he thought no one had noticed. Honestly, he didn’t really care. Getting Nicole somewhere she felt more relaxed was his priority.
He slipped his jacket around her shoulders as they left the building. The walk to the car was short, and he cranked the heat—plus turned the seat warmers on —the moment he started it. Once they were on the road, Nicole put the directions to her house in her phone.
“Geez, it’s a long drive. Are you sure you’re up for it?” she asked, holding the phone up so he could see it.
“I’m fine,” he said. “Though I live a lot closer. If you’re tired, you can sleep in the guestroom.”
She raised an eyebrow in his direction, the streetlights making her flash in and out of his vision. “You think that’s a good idea? What about Hadley?”
“It’ll be fine,” he said. “We can get you in and out undetected. Though I hope my daughter isn’t hopped up on sugar, running around the house.”
“The babysitter would do that to you?”
He laughed at that. “The babysitter is my mom. Remember? You’re fake-engaged to a man who lives with his mother.”
Her quiet, subdued giggle echoed in the cab of his SUV. “That’s right. How could I forget?” Nicole gazed at her phone again, and then she sighed. “If the nurse is willing to stay with my dad, then that’s fine.” She slipped her high heels off and rubbed her feet. “I’m pretty tired. But you’ll have to take me home in the morning.”
