by Eliza Boyd
“I can do that,” he told her.
With that, she exited the directions app and leaned back, getting relaxed in his Jeep as the temperature rose to a comfortable level. Then she turned her head toward him. “I’m sorry that happened to you. You and Hadley deserve a lot more.”
He glanced at her a couple of times, trying to keep his gaze on the road but wanting her to know how much that meant to her. Reaching out, he patted her hand and gave it a squeeze. “You do too, Nicole.”
She released a deep exhale, facing the windshield again. “Yeah. One day.”
One day. Yes, Evan agreed.
And as he drove them both toward his home, he selfishly wondered if that one day for her would, by chance, include him.
12
When Nicole cracked her eyes open the next morning, the first thing she thought about was her dad. She’d never spent this much time away from him before. Not since she’d returned from Phoenix to be his caregiver. Her hand shot out of the blankets to the nightstand, where her phone was. The nurse would have called her if something had gone wrong, but there were no notifications. Hopefully that meant everything was fine.
As her heartrate slowed to a more normal pace, she flopped onto her back on the bed. It was so soft and comfortable. The blanket felt like a cloud, and she made a mental note to ask Evan where he’d purchased it. She definitely needed one of these for her own bed.
In fact, she could probably afford one now. With that thought ringing in her head, she brought her phone closer to her face so she could check her bank account. Evan had said he’d pay her again for the last two nights, but she wasn’t really expecting that. He’d given her so much the first time around.
Yet, when the balance on her bank account showed triple what she’d had in there the day before, she realized he’d been serious.
“What?” she shouted, flying up to a sitting position, ready to storm out of her room and tell him to take some of that back. It was entirely too much for two nights of work, and frankly, it was starting to make her feel icky about what they were doing.
But she didn’t get that far. At the end of the bed, a little girl with pigtails was gripping the footrail, watching her with a curious look in her eye.
“Who are you?” the little girl asked, tilting her head.
Blinking rapidly, Nicole gave the little girl her name. “Are you Hadley?”
Her face relaxed as she nodded. “Yep. Does my dad know you’re here?”
Nicole’s lips spread into a soft smile. “Of course. He let me spend the night in your guestroom because my house was really far away from the wedding we were at last night.”
Hadley came around the side of the bed. She hopped up onto the edge and kicked her legs back and forth. “I wanted to go to that, but Dad said it was only for grown-ups.”
“Yeah,” Nicole answered. “Weddings are more for adults than they are for kids.” But Hadley’s use of the word dad reminded her of the only stipulation she and Evan had placed on this deal of theirs.
No Hadley.
Nicole needed to get out of there.
She slid the covers back, thankful Evan had given her some clothes to sleep in the night before. “Where’s your dad?” As she got out of bed, she narrowed her eyes at the little girl. “And why did you come in here?”
“The only room I can’t go in is my dad’s office.” It was as if she’d recited that a thousand times. “But this door isn’t usually closed, so I wanted to see what was going on.” Hadley tilted her head down in a shy move. “I hope that’s okay.”
Nicole decided she was a smart little girl. It was easier to apologize than ask permission. She liked Hadley’s style. Chuckling, she gathered her dress and her heels and said, “It’s fine. For me though. I don’t know if your dad’s other guests would like that very much.”
Hadley’s tiny face scrunched up. “My dad doesn’t have other people over though. That’s why I had to investigate.”
Nicole wanted to ask more about this no-guest thing, but the humor from Hadley using a word like investigate took precedence. “Investigate, huh? So, what did you find out?”
“Well,” she said, her little legs kicking faster as she raised a hand in the air. She stuck one finger out. “First, I found out that someone spent the night. Then I found out that you’re a woman,” she told her, raising another finger. With a third up, she said, “And then I found out that you’re wearing my dad’s clothes, which seems silly.” She giggled into her hand, her pigtails swaying over her shoulders. “They’re for boys.”
Unfolding her dress from the wedding, Nicole asked her, “Well, would you have wanted to sleep in this?”
Hadley shook her head vigorously, and then both of them laughed.
“I didn’t think so.” Nicole folded it back up and winked at the little girl. “So your dad said I could borrow these. But I’ll give them back before I leave.”
“When are you leaving?”
“Probably soon.” She wasn’t sure. She was at Evan’s mercy unless she Ubered home. Even though she could most definitely afford it now, it didn’t seem like the best way to spend her newfound fortune. Maybe that was an excuse to see Evan more before they never had to see each other again—or until he needed her for another gathering.
She was certain she was going to take that off the table though. Seeing how invested everyone in his life had already become had made her reconsider what they were doing. It was one thing to pretend to a woman neither of them knew very well. But it was another to show off the fake relationship to people who cared about him so much. It wasn’t fair to put them through another one of his breakups.
“You aren’t staying for breakfast?” Hadley asked, hopping off the bed and propping her hands on her hips. “But my dad is making the best French toast in all the land! You can’t miss that.”
“I can’t?” Nicole asked, sweetly playing along with Hadley’s game.
“Nope. It’s so good. Even though we had it earlier this week, I definitely want more today. He didn’t make it for a long, long time until this week.”
“No?” she questioned, feeling curious. “How come?”
But Hadley shrugged. “I dunno. Grandma usually makes me stuff for breakfast instead.”
Oh gosh. Nicole hadn’t even given Evan’s mom a second thought that morning. “Is she home?” She prayed the answer was no. She wasn’t sure how she’d handle that meeting. Being with Hadley was one thing, but she had no idea what he’d told his mom about this whole charade.
She thanked the universe when Hadley shook her head again.
“No, she’s not. She said she was meeting someone this morning since my dad would be home. That seemed weird to me because they have both been gone a lot when they’re usually here all the time. At least when I’m not in school they are.” Her shoulders rose and fell when she couldn’t figure out why that was and had decided to leave it alone. “Oh well. You should definitely eat French toast with us though.”
“Well, that’s up to your dad,” Nicole said, taking this new information in. She wasn’t sure if it meant anything—that Evan didn’t normally go out at all—except that he was the devoted father he’d claimed to be. “You’ll have to ask him.”
Without further ado, Hadley rushed to the door, cracked it open, and shouted, “Dad!” at the top of her lungs.
Nicole flinched, but she also couldn’t help how much she appreciated Hadley’s enthusiasm. The girl went after what she wanted, and Nicole had to admire that. She certainly didn’t have that kind of bone in her body anymore. But that was the beauty of children. They hadn’t been crushed by the world yet. They were still full of hope and dreams and the vigor to reach for them.
After what Evan had told her yesterday, she was surprised Hadley still had that quality. But she guessed the way her mom had left hadn’t affected Hadley in the way Nicole’s own mother’s leaving had affected her. Nicole had been fourteen, not a baby. A young woman who could remember every detail of her mother�
��s face up until the day she’d left. A girl who had entered the age where she desperately needed her mom to help her make sense of the world. Her father had done everything he could to make it easy on her, but she’d rebelled. She’d treated him like dirt, blamed him for it all.
Then she’d run off to college the moment she could, leaving her dad just like her mom had.
So when she’d found out he’d gotten hurt at work and needed help, there’d been no question as to whether she’d do it or not. She had to. If only to make up for everything she’d done in the past.
Nicole had to fight tears as she watched Hadley wait a little impatiently for her father. She could relate to this girl. She understood what she’d go through later. And she knew how much she needed that special relationship with her father. Hadley had no one else, so the last thing Nicole should do was get in the way of that.
Between this and how much his friends would get hurt, she needed to end this. Now.
That was when Evan’s voice floated into the room. “Hadley? Where are you?”
“In here!” she yelled, waving her hand through the cracked door.
When he appeared, his gaze when straight to Nicole. An apology? A that wasn’t supposed to happen look? She wasn’t sure. But she was sure that he could see the pain in her eyes.
“Had, you’re not supposed to be in here,” he said, ruffling her hair as he opened the door more. He tried to steer her out of the room, but she wasn’t having any of that, twirling away from him and heading right back in.
“But Nicole wants to stay for breakfast. Can she, Dad?” She gave him a cheesy, toothy smile Nicole couldn’t see how he could say no to. If Hadley were her daughter, she wouldn’t have been able to say no to that grin.
He hesitated, peeking at Nicole to see how she felt about it first. But he made the decision for both of them instead. “Breakfast is for you, little lady. I thought you and Grandma could eat while I take my friend home.”
The word friend pierced Nicole’s heart. Even though she’d just resolved not to get involved with this for everyone’s sake, no part of her wanted to just be his friend. After what they’d done, she didn’t think they could be friends. His entire network of friends would find out the truth if they all of a sudden weren’t engaged anymore but just good friends. And she’d originally thought that he didn’t want her around Hadley for Hadley’s sake.
But every moment she spent with this little girl proved that it had been for her own sake. Even though Evan hadn’t meant it that way.
She couldn’t let that bother her though. Instead, she fiddled with her bangs to make sure her hair wasn’t a total wreck.
“Grandma’s not home though,” Hadley informed him.
“She’s not?” he asked, furrowing his brow. “Where is she?”
“She’s meeting someone because you’re home. So please? Nicole has to stay, right?” She tugged on his hand. “She has to try the best French toast in all the land!”
The reminder of food made Nicole’s stomach grumble.
Loudly.
Both Evan and Hadley shot their gazes to her.
“I guess that settles that,” Evan said, chuckling under his breath. “French toast it is.” Then his expression turned a little less humorous and a bit more serious. “If that’s okay with you. If not, I can bundle us all up and take you home right away.”
She picked her phone up, checking for notifications. There weren’t any, and part of her felt like this little girl had already lost so much. She could sacrifice another hour if it’d make her happy. Plus, the best French toast in all the land sounded pretty darn good.
She shook her head. “No, that’s fine. French toast would be perfect.” With all of her stuff in her hands, she headed toward them to leave the room.
Hadley rushed out first, yelling, “Yay!” as she sped down the stairs.
“Sorry,” Evan said quietly, the apology written all over his face. “I had no idea she was up here. Did she wake you?”
“No.” Nicole followed behind him. “She didn’t, but she was in my room before I woke up.”
He came to a dead stop just before the staircase, and she almost bumped right into his back. “Oh no,” he said, his voice low.
“It’s okay,” she said, giving him a warm, genuine smile. “She was sweet. It just took me by surprise.”
The raised eyebrow he gave her made her reinforce that statement.
“Seriously.” She nodded to let him know she meant it. “It was fine. Really You have a…” As she trailed off, she suddenly had to fight tears back. They’d taken her by surprise, but she needed Evan to know that he’d raised his daughter well. “She’s wonderful. You’ve done good with her,” she said when she could speak again.
His face softened. “Thanks,” he said. Then he put a hand on the railing. “I know this wasn’t supposed to happen, and we’ve already messed things up with my friends, so if you truly don’t want to stay—”
She waved her hands in the air the best she could with all of her stuff in them. “Honestly, it’s fine. Breakfast sounds good, and then I should get home. Check on my dad…”
Evan’s lips curved up into the hint of a smile. “Okay. Good.”
As he started down the stairs, Nicole did too. At the bottom, she set all of her stuff on the table near the door and then made her way into the kitchen, where Evan and Hadley were. She was trying to pour orange juice into three glasses, and Evan helped her so she wouldn’t spill. Then he went to the stove to put some more French toast on so they had enough.
The scene was so normal. So sweet. So…
Heartbreaking.
In the two years since her breakup, she hadn’t allowed herself to want something more. She’d been so focused on her father’s care that it hadn’t occurred to her how much she’d been missing out on. But with this scene playing out before her, her heart felt the absence more than ever. With the taste of what she couldn’t have on the tip of her tongue, she knew she’d never be able to walk away without that void emptier than before. She’d never be able to turn her back on this and not miss it every single day for the rest of her life.
Nicole knew what she wanted now. But there was no way she could have it. Not without putting everything on the line again and risking a fatal blow. Somehow, Evan and Hadley felt worth it. And because of that, Nicole felt ready to take that leap again. It was terrifying. It was risky. And it could destroy her all over again.
So she prayed with everything she had that Evan was ready too.
13
“And then you loop it through and pull tight!” Hadley told Nicole over their French toast. “It’s that easy. I can’t believe you haven’t heard of the bunny ears method.”
Nicole tried to hide her smile as took a bite off her fork, but Evan could see how hard she was struggling. “You know, they must have called it something else when I was a kid.” She shrugged. “But I like your name for it better,” she said, winking at his daughter.
The warmth in Evan’s chest spread the more he saw these two interact. He wanted—no, he needed—to tamp it down, put an end to it. But it was addicting to watch his daughter talk with a woman he had so much respect for. A woman he could picture sitting at his breakfast table, eating the best French toast in all the land, for years to come.
For perhaps the rest of his years.
Inwardly, he tried to shake those thoughts off. They were probably only there because they’d been at a wedding the night before. Or because they’d been pretending to be engaged themselves. Because his friends now believed he was with her. And they were happy for him.
He wanted to be happy too. After everything he’d been through, he deserved that happiness. Didn’t he?
“Well, now you can do that with your shoes,” Hadley said matter-of-factly. “Want to try?” She dropped her fork, the clatter ringing throughout the room as she waited with bated breath for Nicole’s response.
“Oh, I don’t have shoes with laces here, but maybe next time,
” Nicole answered. But then she froze, her own fork hovering over her plate.
Evan wasn’t sure why until he replayed her words in his head. Maybe next time.
Did she want there to be a next time? He did. He’d started to realize that the moment he’d gotten down on one knee in that sticky diner. But he hadn’t thought that’s what she wanted. Especially not after what she’d told him the night before. Not after how she’d talked about this being over when Hadley got accepted to Pemhall Prep.
He’d known the deal. He’d made the deal. They kept changing it as they went though, and he hoped he could change it more—to something real. Seeing her with his daughter only reinforced that idea.
He’d tried to test it when he’d told Hadley that Nicole was his friend. Of course he’d had to say that. He couldn’t tell his daughter anything else. But he’d been hoping she’d react. Outwardly, she hadn’t. But he had a long car ride ahead of him to ask her about it. As soon as his mom got back home, he could take her. He didn’t want to have to bring Hadley, but he’d do it if he needed to. Another chunk of time with the two of them together would only make this harder if and when it ended, but that was part of being a father. He’d do what he had to for his daughter.
“Ooh, next time,” Hadley said, glomming onto that idea. “What can we do next time? Oh! Maybe I can show you a neat trick for how to multiply by nine.” She raised her eyebrows and speared another piece of her breakfast.
Nicole smiled. “I’d love to learn that.” But then a small crease formed in her brow as he faced Evan. “They learn that at seven?”
“No,” Hadley answered for him. “I Googled it. I know a lot of things the kids in my class don’t know. That’s why I want to go to Pemhall Prep. They’ll give me stuff I don’t know to learn.”
