by J. R. Ward
"So whose is that one?" Peyton had already guessed, but he wanted her to have to say it.
"Axe's."
"So he lied to you."
"Yes." She shook her head. "I found his, by mistake. It was in the pocket of this cloak. I found a mask of a skull, too. They're both his. I could smell his scent on them--and it's fresh."
As she stopped talking and stared across at him, Peyton realized he was at a crossroads with her, and it was funny. After getting slapped with Novo's little asshole label, he wasn't going to enjoy being honest if that was what Elise wanted--
"I want you to be honest with me."
Shit. "Okay."
"Did you disapprove of him because he's a civilian, because he likes hardcore sex, or...because of something else?"
Noting her past tense, he fell silent--although things were far from quiet in his head: All he could hear was Novo's voice in his ear, railing on his double standards about males and females. About judging the two sexes differently.
And what do you know, lightning kind of struck Marblehead: If he thought females who slept around were sluts...that meant it was the female's fault that he himself was sexually promiscuous and kind of cruel when it came to the opposite sex. After all, if fucking was okay for males, but not females, then no matter how many people he banged without feeling, no matter how many hearts he trampled, nobody could hold him accountable.
'Cuz he was a male.
It was the ultimate unassailable justification for being an asshole.
Peyton closed his eyes and rested his head back against his downy soft pillows. All things considered, given that he had been shot in the noggin the night before, he could have done without that flash of insight.
Mostly because the OxyContin, no matter how good it was at erasing his physical pain, didn't touch the emotional burn in the center of his chest.
The one that informed him he was not a nice guy. In spite of his looks. His money. His breeding.
Novo was right...he was an asshole.
"Damn it," he whispered.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't put you in this position--"
"No, it's fine. I'm fine. You're fine."
Bullshit. She was an emotional wreck and he was starting to feel like he was having an identity crisis.
"I should go--"
"No," he said sharply, and opened his eyes. "Look, I don't want to get in the middle of you two. I did last night and it nearly got us all killed--and even though there aren't any lessers around right now and nobody is armed, I just...I'm going to try and not be such a judgmental dickhead."
He was going to have to apologize to Axe, too.
"Novo...is that female who fought with us last night. Isn't that right?" Elise asked.
Peyton nodded. "Yeah. Why?"
"I'd forgotten her name. But you introduced her that first evening I met everyone at the cigar bar."
"Yeah."
Elise's eyes started to water, except then she sniffed hard and blinked while looking up at the ceiling. "Her scent was on the cloak. I didn't put it together until I was dematerializing over here--but I scented her in the mobile surgical van when she was with us. I remember what she..." As Peyton looked away, Elise's voice got steady. "He was with her. And recently. Like within the last night or two."
Peyton just kept his mouth shut. Funny, as early as the night before, he would have jumped at this opportunity to take a shit all over Axe.
And he was jealous--but not when it came to Elise. He was pissed that the fucker had been with Novo.
"Look," he said, "the only piece of advice I can give you is to go with your gut. It's never wrong."
"Well, what it's telling me, then, is that while he and I were together, he was going to a hardcore club and having sex with someone else."
Peyton shook his head. "I knew this was going to come to a bad end for you. I mean, shit, I'm aware that you two are consenting adults and all, but this is exactly why I told him to stay the fuck away from you."
Ordinarily, he loved being right.
But not tonight, he didn't.
Not at all.
s Mary sat at her desk at Safe Place, she accomplished absolutely nothing.
Well, that wasn't exactly true. She succeeded, quite admirably if she did say so herself, in moving a pile of paperwork from the right corner to the left--and, in the process, managed to review every page in said pile of case notes, intake forms, and schedules for grammatical errors, typos, and coffee stains.
Real high-level stuff.
Yup. She'd located several its-versus-it's problems, a there instead of a their, and, the piece de resistance, an orientated versus the American English oriented.
Go. Her.
Sitting back in her squeaky chair, she swiped the mouse pad and checked the time on her computer screen. Holy crap. It was three a.m.
She hadn't heard from Rhage--and guessed that quick meeting about the attack on those trainees from the night before hadn't been all that quick.
Taking a deep breath, she smelled chocolate chip cookie dough cooking in the ovens downstairs, and a wave of sadness hit her. She could remember trying to get Bitty to participate in the community baking right after her mother had died. The little girl had preferred to sit upstairs in the attic room she had shared with her mahmen, those battered suitcases all packed with her meager possessions, her stuffed tiger and that doll head beside her on the bed.
They hadn't even known her real age at that point.
God, that seemed like a million years ago--
Her phone went off, and as she checked the text, she hoped it was Rhage. She needed an excuse to leave--
It was not from him.
As her hands began to shake, she got to her feet, tucked her blouse into her slacks, and carefully pulled on her coat. Then she picked up her purse and her phone.
Instead of telling everyone down below that she was going, she just sent a message to the group that she was leaving.
Now was not the time to stand in front of anybody and speak about anything--especially not the compassionate females who worked here and would read her like a book.
Outside, the night was terribly cold and that seemed appropriate. After she got into the Volvo and started the engine, she went miles before any appreciable heat came out of the vents, but it was okay. She was too numb to feel either hot or cold.
The King's Audience House was some distance away and yet her destination arrived too quickly. Then again, her intention had been to use the drive to collect herself--and really, she could have gone to California and back and not felt any different.
Just as she was getting out by the garage, Rhage was materializing.
As she saw him, there was a temptation to rush into his arms and wail again, but she was over that. She didn't have the energy, even if the emotions in her chest remained that big and hard to manage.
"Come on," he said in a dull voice. "Let's get this over with."
They entered through the back door, using the code, and then walked through the kitchen, heading for that library.
When they entered the formal room, Bitty was sitting on the sofa in front of the fire. Next to her uncle.
Damn, the family resemblance was so clear.
Do not cry, Mary said to herself as she forced a smile. Do not make Bitty feel one ounce of guilt over this.
You're the adult. She's the victim of domestic abuse, an orphan, and a child.
Do not make this worse.
Of course, all that self-talk didn't really change the way she felt. But at least the stern lecturing distracted her from melting down.
Marissa was seated beside the pair of blood relations and she got to her feet with enviable grace. "Thank you for coming."
As if they were outside third parties attending a meeting in a lawyer's office. For, like, a fence dispute.
Except they were third parties, Mary reminded herself.
Somehow, she and Rhage managed to sit down on the sofa across from Bitty and Ruhn.
Things were said. Who knew what. And Rhage was as quiet as she was.
God, she couldn't meet Bitty in the eye for more than a second or two, and she needed to work on that--
"So, Ruhn? Or Bitty?" Marissa said. "Would you like to speak now?"
There was a long silence, and Mary was the one who broke it. Looking right into Bitty's eyes, she said in a voice that mostly didn't crack, "It's okay, Bitty. It's all right, it's all going to be--"
"So you'll let him move here?" the little girl said. "And live with us?"
Mary blinked. "I'm sorry--what?" She shook her head. "I'm sorry?"
Bitty looked at her uncle. "I want him to come live with the three of us. And he said he would. He doesn't need to be adopted like you guys are doing with me. But he has no family, and we have a big family, and Father always says the more the merrier? And we live in a big house. There is room. Ruhn can help, you know. That's his job."
Mary shook her head again. Opened and closed her mouth. "Wh-what?"
Rhage leaned forward. "I'm sorry, what are you saying?"
Ruhn cleared his throat. "I don't have anything to keep me in South Carolina. Bitty's my only family and I could use a fresh start--I don't have to live with you all--"
"Yes, you do." Bitty looked at him and spoke firmly. "We have a big house. And we have a cat and a dog. You like cats and dogs. You will come and live with us, and my parents will make sure you have work--Mom? What's wrong?"
Mary couldn't answer. Not with the tears streaming down her face and her breath catching in her throat and her whole body feeling like it was going to explode.
Putting her head in her hands, she was so overcome, all she could do was sit there and cry.
Bitty's voice was close to her when the little girl spoke next. "You'll like him, Mom. I promise."
All Mary could do was reach out...and pull her daughter in tight. There were no words, no words, no words at all.
Wait. No, there were: "I know I'm going to just love him."
--
Rhage's first thought was that this was the dream. He was finally in a dream, and of course, his subconscious was kicking out a fantasy world where everything worked out okay. Yup. Any second, the alarm was going to go off and they'd be back in hell.
Except...no electronic dinging.
Rhage put a hand out, aware that Bitty and Mary were hugging and talking and Mary was crying.
The fighter side of him, the part that had been honed by countless cluster-fucks in countless engagements in the war, was no more willing to believe this than he would Santa Claus coming down a chimney.
Rhage got to his feet and nodded at Ruhn. "I want to talk to you. Alone."
The uncle didn't hesitate to rise to his full height. "Anywhere you want."
Naturally, nobody was going to let him be alone with the guy: Vishous, who Rhage hadn't even been aware of being in the room, came with them as they stepped out into the rear part of the foyer and closed the doors of the library.
But Rhage wasn't about to, well, rage.
He kept his voice down and his eyes leveled on the guy. "I thought you came here to take her away."
The male nodded. "That's right."
"So what's changed? And think this over carefully. Because my shellan is bleeding to death in there. Again. And I'm getting really fucking bored with what's making her cry."
Ruhn stepped off, but didn't back away. Instead, he paced around, his big body clearly unable to contain his emotions.
"Yes, I wanted to take her back to South Carolina with me. I did. And I won't apologize to you or anyone else for wanting to do right by my bloodline. But then I got here...and I was only told she was in foster care. I didn't know that you all had started an adoption process until later. I really liked the both of you, and it was clear Bitty was well cared for. But last night...when you came through that door and you'd been shot at?" He pointed to the front entrance of the mansion. "You were frantic to get here and help them. And when Bitty saw you, she was terrified and relieved. Then the three of you were together. Right there."
The male went over and stood in the spot. "I was looking at all of you, and I thought...that is a family. Right there. That is...what I wished for my sister but knew she wasn't going to get with that male of hers. It was what I'd hoped to bring to Bitty's life--but she already has it, see. With you guys. She told me about how you took her in. What you've been teaching her about movies and cars and life. How good Mary is with her. How Mary took care of my sister at that place for the battered females. How you two stayed with her during her procedure for her bones--and about your beast. And by the way, wow, is all I can say about that." Ruhn shook his head. "She talked non-stop about the two of you. She loves you like you're her blood. And my stuff with my sister? That's not enough to justify breaking up a family. It just isn't."
Rhage just stood where he was and blinked like an idiot. "So..."
"I'll sign whatever you want. You know, to make it legal." The male put his palms up. "And honest, I don't have to move in or anything. I don't want to impose. That's her idea--but I would like...I don't know, if you could see your way clear, to letting me see her maybe once every couple of years--"
Rhage was not aware of moving. But the next thing he knew, he was throwing a bone-crusher around the guy, holding that fucking uncle so tight, the muscles in his shoulders and arms popped hard.
"You will come and you will live at the mansion." He shoved the guy back and then had to catch Ruhn as he tottered on his work boots. "And we'll find a job for you. And you will stay with us. And that is the way it is going to be."
Ruhn seemed nonplussed. "Ah..."
Vishous spoke up. "Wrath has to approve this. The security check's done, but the King is going to need to weigh in on it."
"It'll be fine." Rhage jacked up his leathers. "It's gonna be great--"
Ruhn rubbed his forehead like it hurt. "Wait, I'm grateful and all. But why would you do this? I'm nothing to you. I'm a nobody."
"Bullshit," Rhage said. "You're family."
ell, that was fun, Axe thought as he finally got off the bus with Novo, Boone, Paradise, and Craeg. The meeting had gone on forever, new procedures being put in place for them entering the field downtown, new weapons being fitted for and ordered, reviews of defensive practices drilled into their heads until he'd wanted to scream.
But at least the Brothers weren't stepping back from having the trainees engage with the enemy. Not at all.
The good news? Now he got to rush home to Elise.
After a quick goodbye over his shoulder, Axe went ghost and then materialized on his front lawn. Smelling the burning fire and sensing her presence, he smiled.
It was amazing how much someone could bring to your life. Fill you out on the inside. Make you feel stronger and more peaceful at the same time.
He climbed the front steps, knocked on the door, and was so ready to have her answer it...
When nothing happened, he frowned. Knocked again. Then took out a set of keys he hadn't though he'd need to use. Opening the way up, he--
The first thing he noticed was that Elise wasn't sitting in front of the fireplace, on the blankets where they made love.
She was on the sofa, almost out of reach of the heat.
The second thing he tweaked to was...that she had the cloak he wore to The Keys in her lap.
Axe closed the door slowly.
As she looked over at him, she met his eyes calmly. But her face was shut down, no emotion showing at all, no life in her eyes or her expression.
"What's up," he said, keeping his voice level.
Crossing his arms, he leaned back against the door. In his head, a litany of She's leaving you, she knows, she's leaving you, she knows...you're going to be just like your father...started up, a bad chorus that was off-key, off-tempo, and the kind of thing that was going to make him mental.
"So I found this," she said, running her hands over the black folds. "And I found what's in it. The mask...and the key.
"
Boom, boom, boom, boom--
For a split second, he looked over his shoulder, thinking that that sound must be someone beating on the kitchen door to get into the cottage.
Nope. It was his heart.
"I, ah, I've been sitting here, thinking, for hours." She scratched the base of her nose. "Running through things to say to you in my head. Questions to ask you--like how could you possibly stand in front of me at Allishon's and pretend you didn't know what I'd found there. How could you lie to me--"
She stopped as her voice got higher and more urgent, and seemed to re-collect herself.
"So I went to Peyton's, right after I found your key...found that you'd lied to me."
"Great," he muttered. He could only imagine how the guy had enjoyed fucking him up the ass with all kinds of--
"He wouldn't go into it with me. He didn't really say anything. And I respect him for staying out of this. I shouldn't have put him in that position in the first place. But I didn't know where else to go, and sometimes, when people are emotional, they don't make the best choices."
Axe waited, knowing that the hammer was about to fall--and it did.
"And I guess...that's my conclusion." She motioned between the two of them. "The night I met you, I'd decided to date Troy. It was as random a decision as they come. What I realize now is that what happened to Allishon and the stress in my household were eroding parts of me that I was unaware of becoming weak. I was flailing around, looking for an outlet--and then I met you. I threw myself into this--whatever it was--between us, headlong and out of control."
Annnnd there it was, he thought. Past tense.
Was. Not is.
"At the end of the day," she concluded, "you don't owe me anything. We're not in a relationship. The fact that you had sex with Novo at that club and then came home and were with me--"
"Wait, say what?" he barked. "When did this happen? If you're going to rewrite history, at least give me a timeline so I can keep up here."
Elise shot him a bored look. "You took her to the club. Two nights ago. And don't pretend you didn't. I was right here when she called and you wanted to make sure she was home safe. At the time, I didn't put two and two together, because I didn't remember the name of the female who was with you the night we met."
"I didn't have sex with her. That night, or any other."
"Maybe that's true. But I can't believe you. I can't believe anything you tell me. You didn't even correct me when I said she was 'he.' You lied to me about knowing what the key was at Allishon's. How will I ever know if you're being truthful?"
