by Tara Wimble
“What’s happened?” Not, are you okay? What’s up? Good morning! - What’s happened? That tells her all she needs to know.
“We’ve been burned.”
Somehow Kathryn’s description makes more sense now that she’s fully awake yet Bella clicks right away. “Wait, what? What’s happened?”
Jacque presses her knuckles into her palm and readies herself. “Kathryn called. We’ve apparently had some sort of information leak. The lawyers we used for the divorce are trying to trace back to who requested the information and why but- it seems like, at this point, some fans got access to our divorce records and posted it online.”
The wind is knocked from Bella’s form. “You’re kidding. Like, actually. That’s, that’s-” She rambles.” “What the fuck?”
She quickly sits down opposite her. “How did this happen? How did you find out?”
“Kathryn let me know. They were on the internet, god knows what they were doing drunk on there but it just came out- Jess, Fishlock,-” She clarifies. “She rounded up as much as she could find while the other two just sort of raged- as far as she can tell someone picked up the trail because they noticed we weren’t wearing wedding rings in the webshow.”
Stunned is the most accurate way to describe Bella’s face right now. “People actually do that? They pay that much attention?”
Jacque purses her lips. “Apparently.”
“And from that they thought that it was totally a-okay to hack their way to the truth?” Bella exclaims. “That’s- fucked up. Seriously.”
Bella holds her head in her hands and breathes in. Jacque’s chest tightens. “I’ve called the lawyers, called the CSA press office and Alyse, and we’re gonna see how we can deal with this.”
“What are we gonna do?”
Jacque rubs her thumb over the back of her hand. “I don’t want to make plans until I’ve talked to the CSA.”
She gets a groan in return. “We’re the fucking poster children.”
“Don’t remind me.” Jacque sighs. “They said that they’d call back after we finish practice. So we should probably head straight to the Red Stars office after and work from there.”
It’s not the best answer but it’s all she has for now. “This is so messed up. Why would people think that’s okay for them to do that? It’s a total violation of privacy.”
Jacque coughs. “You probably shouldn’t look at your twitter or anything then.”
At that Bella straightens up in her seat. “Why?”
“I’ve been getting some pretty intense fan responses to the news and I don’t think you,- either of us- should make a statement or tweet anything until we get the okay for it.”
Bella nods along in a state of shock. It’s a lot to take in. “God knows what I’d do about this if you weren’t around.”
Jacque smiles tightly. “I don’t think you’d be in this situation right now if that were the case.”
Bella forces a laugh but all the energy that she woke up with has been drained out of her. Jacque knows they have a long day ahead of them and such little time to deal with this before they have to play at home tomorrow. “Come on, breakfast. Get ready for practice. Deal with all this later.” Jacque orders. “We’ll figure it out. I promise.”
The closest either of them get to forgetting about all of this shit is when they’re in the gym. Jacque doesn’t have time to think about what she’s going to say to Alyse when she’s cursing over the speed being upped to twice what she’s comfortable with on the treadmill.
No one else seems to sense or know about the leak, which is good because she figures that she’d better explain this to people when they have a handle on the situation. Since hiding the truth has never turned out well for either of them so far.
After Steph has finished with them Bella drives them both over to the Red Stars Office downtown. The tension sets in further when they arrive and find that the CSA has thrown the ball back in their court.
“They’ve given you a template statement.” Alyse remarks. “There’s no details, just what your divorce lawyers put down on record with your original reasons for separation and everything.”
To her credit, Alyse is nothing but professional when discussing this. She tells them that she’s prepared to revise the CSA’s bland statement to make it look a little less like ending a business deal. The phrasing makes them flinch but they quickly agree.
As for handling the fan backlash.
“A part of me is too pissed to even-” They’re sitting around the desk in the conference room where they film the webshow. “-we don’t owe them anything. Not about this.”
Bella stares at the cardboard cutout of Jackie in the corner with a wistful frown. “But they’re going to keep on going. A statement from the CSA, one that doesn’t have any business coming from them in the first place- they’re here for soccer not for relationship issues-”
“I know.” Jacque sighs.
“-they’re not gonna take that. It’s too...”
“Impersonal?” Jacque voices.
Bella swings around in the chair. “What can we do? I’d love for it to be as simple as just logging onto twitter and telling everyone that despite the fact they crossed a line by hacking into our records- oh, sorry guys we didn’t tell you we got a divorce!”
Jacque taps her foot against the floor. “You don’t realize how much of yourself belongs to the public until something like this happens.”
Bella slumps over the desk and rests her head on her arms. “I just wanted to play soccer.”
Jacque makes a sympathetic noise because that’s a sentiment many players thrust into the spotlight feel. She can’t name anyone who gets into this sport for the money. It’s about the game, the team, the love for the sport. “I guess I could make a personal statement- maybe on twitter or through one of the websites covering the team. Alyse might be okay with us issuing it out through the Red Stars-”
Bella sits up suddenly. “Through the Red Stars?”
“Yeah, I mean, we don’t have to have a ‘breaking news’ stamp all over it but-”
“-or we could just tell them.”
Jacque stops trying to fish her phone from her shorts. “I’m sorry?”
Bella points to the camera set up in the corner that the interns have left out. “A statement would be too impersonal and fans are all about personal, about connecting- this backlash isn’t so much because they’re upset we got a divorce, but because we did it without them knowing.”
“That’s fucked up.” Jacque admits.
“It’s a thin logic but yeah.” Bella stands and pulls one of the tripods out. “But if we just came out and told them straight up, it wouldn’t be as bad. We wouldn’t be hiding behind statements or the CSA.”
Jacque bites her lip. “You want us to talk about our divorce on the web show?”
Bella nods.
Her first reaction is an outright ‘no’ but that’s before she really thinks about it. A statement can still be issued out by the CSA which will appease most media who might enquire about it, but the video would be for the fans. Not just a confirmation but another show that they’re okay. They’ve moved past it.
Jacque can hear the sounds of the Red Stars staff working down the hall but it’s safe to say it. “Is it bad to think that this wouldn’t have been half as bad if-”
“-if it were real?” Bella finishes surprisingly. “I think it would have made things simpler.”
Jacque breathes in. “Alright. Let’s get the crew in. Get this show on the road.”
*
One of the younger interns pretty much sets up the camera and leaves them to it. It’s going to be hard enough to talk about all of this without someone standing the other side scrutinizing their expressions and tone. Bella insists on them wearing their Canadian jerseys because they’re on hand and they didn’t really plan much for this show other than talking about the hellish trail run they went on earlier in the week and the question they were going to ask for t
he twitter ticket competition.
Bella adjusts her shirt, trying to pull it down, and Jacque makes a show of telling the camera that Bella refuses to wear the correct size in her jerseys.
“Come on, with these arms?” Bella flexes and it’s just the break that Jacque needs to eliminate some of the tension.
“And the second thing we wanna talk about-” Bella glances at Jacque. It’s her turn now. “-do you wanna take this one?”
Jacque knocks her hands against the arms of the chair. “Sure. Um. Something came to our attention this morning and we feel that it’s better to get it out there in the open for you guys so-” She clears her throat and looks at Bella as she starts to speak. It’s important that they’re doing this together, even if Bella isn’t the one saying anything.
“It’s never easy when you’ve been together as long as we have, or as publicly, but we’ve always appreciated the fans support for us. But sometimes things don’t go the way that you want them too and you can’t hold onto it-” Bella starts to fidget, ducking her head. “-you can’t force it.”
Strangely her words get caught in her throat as she carries on. Because a part of this will always feel real to her. London made sure of that. “We want to be honest with you guys, because we love you just as much as you love us and support us, and it is true that we,- we have separated.”
She doesn’t leave the sentence hanging for too long otherwise she won’t be able to keep going. Bella’s hand goes to the back of her own neck and hangs there. “We did get a divorce and ah, while it’s sad to hear, we just want you all to know that there’s nothing to tell. We’re still good friends. We’re still teammates and uh, life goes on as they say.”
Out of the corner of her eye she does see Bella wiping her cheek but she can’t look openly at her. Is she crying? “We just wanted to take a moment to tell you via web-show-” Jacque gestures to the camera. “Because we know that there’s a lot of talk flying around and only one accurate source. So- you wanna add anything?”
Bella’s smile is a sad one. Jacque’s not sure what got to her or whether this is just put on but she sees the tears that the camera will have a hard time picking up. “Nope-”
“Just hanging me out to dry huh?” Jacque jokes and she can tell, even before she starts to end this, that Bella is going to walk off. “I mean, we’re still hanging out, we’re still friends. I love this girl to death y’know and nothing’s gonna get in the way of us-”
Bella interrupts everything, throwing up an awkward palm tree motion with her hand and she laughs but Jacque can hear the crack of sincere crying in her throat. “Sorry, I’m just gonna-”
“And she’s gone-” Jacque holds it in. She has to. “Anyhow, thank you all for watching and we’ll see you at the game tomorrow.”
There’s no one to press the stop button so Jacque waits a beat, holding a pose before she walks through into the entryway by the door to crouch down where Bella is sat on the floor.
“Hey, hey-” Jacque half coos. The sobbing is definitely real and out of the blue. “Bella, c’mere.”
Bella latches onto the hand that Jacque offers her. “Shit, I’m sorry. I, wow- I didn’t expect any of that to feel so-”
“I know.” Jacque squeezes her hand. “Come on, we still need to finish this out and give them a question.”
Bella opens her mouth and there’s something there, that she wants to say but knows she can’t. Jacque kind of guesses what she’s going to ask and even if it’s wrong, Bella gets the meaning behind it. “And I still do. I know you don’t want to hear it but-” She grasps Bella’s hand, ready to pull her up. “That hasn’t changed.”
The tears stop and Bella breathes in and out quickly until she settles.
“Okay, we can finish it now.”
*
“-Kay we’re back. Awkward five minute pause-” Bella has cleaned up her face and puts on her best smile. “We have to end it, of course, with smiles and good times.”
“For sure.” Jacque nods from behind the table.
Bella keeps her eyes darting from the camera to Jacque. As if lingering too long on either will set her off again. “So people keep talking about how nice our arms are- muscular.”
“Really?” Jacque sits back with a little surprise.
Bella starts to smile. “Well- maybe in my head.”
The banter balances out the seriousness of the video and by the time they’ve got their elbows set on the table for them to see who’d win in an arm wrestling match, Bella can look her in the eye again and Jacque can hold her gaze without feeling like she’s going to see something heartbreaking in those eyes.
In fact, Jacque almost loses, taken aback by the presence of a spark.
*
Their show is the way that most of their team finds out as well as their fans. A few people that know them better are taken aback at first but thankfully no one is offended that this was the way they chose to come out about it. Quenby and Lexi don’t make a big deal about it, if anything living together gets so much easier when they don’t have people wondering why they’re split up between two rooms. Once they get the second room furnished that is.
Though the tension that once filled the room because of things unsaid hasn’t fully left now that Bella feels out of place in this new arrangement.
If Bella’s little webshow venture was a hit with Jackie, fans clamour to the show with Jacque. There’s something about laughing along with Jacque that takes her back to the early days, when things weren’t so screwed up, if ever. The office knows when they’re in because there’s no shortage of outfits being trooped in and out and demands for a live audience to be satisfied.
The best part? They’re funny. Bella has always personally known that she’s hilarious but it’s nice to be proven right. Especially when it’s by fans watching their videos into the thousands of views and the Red Stars staff keeping track of the comments they get back.
They politely don’t tell them what people are saying about the divorce confession because that’s done and dusted. The CSA has released a statement on their behalf and the only comments they’ve made themselves was in a small media call hosted by the Red Stars. All the news on it has been small but no doubt, in the run up to National Team camps, it’ll be dragged up again and again.
That’s a while away and Bella isn’t too worried about it while she’s still getting to grips with their NWSL season and the team slowly coming together.
“Hey,” Quenby pops her head around the door. “Jacque’s honking the horn.” Time to go.
Next stop will hopefully bring them three points.
*
Chicago Red Stars v WNY Flash [ 1 : 2 ]
Jacque enjoys the games when she gets the start for the match, especially when she’s responsible for trying to stop Alana Morrisson and Carli Lloyd breaking through their back line.
It’s a huge responsibility but their back line has slowly been trying to come together and protect Sadie more than they have been and Rory has them thinking that perhaps today is the day that it all comes together.
And for a while it does, the entire first half they’re frustrating Morrisson and Lloyd. Kerr makes cutting runs down the left flank and Adriana down the right but their crosses are for naught and Jacque’s personally proud at how effective her defensive headers are in the first half.
They hold them to a scoreless half.
All hell breaks loose in the second. Communication breaks down and before they can even settle back into the half Wambach’s headed one past Sadie to put them up 1-0.
The team comes together after the shock of the first goal and then they play probably their most cohesive fifteen minutes resulting in a blast by Quenby, assisted by Bella, that somehow manages to rocket past the outstretched hands of AD Franch.
But unfortunately they aren’t able to pull the points out of the game and a lapse in judgment down the flanks has Kerr blowing by their defensive line and striking a slick ball right underneath Sadie.
/> The match finishes 2-1 and though they feel like they could have, and maybe should have, gotten a point out of it they don’t hang their heads. Every single performance is getting better and the breakthrough has to be coming soon. Rory says as much in the huddle before they cool down and head towards the fences. The fans have been going crazy all game and this is the best part of the day.
Jacque is armed with a sharpie and she approaches the on the field VIP fans first with an easy smile. “Hey there! You guys enjoy the game?”
The VIP fans are mostly parents with young kids who shy up when she walks up. It’s adorable to watch them open up to her when she sticks around for a few minutes. They usually end with a photograph and then Jacque is off to put a smile on another little kid’s face.
Once they’re all attended to Jacque finally caves to the calls of the general admission fans, the loudest cheerers and the one’s with the most creative signs draw her over and she must sign a dozen or so pictures of herself before she stops recognizing her own face. A few of them ask for photographs and she ends up leaning further over the barriers to oblige, all the while apologizing for how sweaty she is to their amusement.
A lot of them talk about how much they admire her, love the team, love her on the national team and the Bella and Jacque show. It’s the first mention of it by someone other than the Red Stars staff so Jacque responds to the compliment with vivid enthusiasm.
There’s only one minor disruption. One of the fans gets dangerously close to upsetting a lot of the natural order when she tells Jacque that she thought they were cute together. It causes a few people to take sharp breaths in like they expect Jacque to be offended but Jacque is used to dealing with this by now.
“I thought so too.” She jokes. “It’s nice to hear I was right in this assumption.”
Her admission makes them all relax and someone makes a comment that she probably wasn’t supposed to hear. “-I don’t know how she can do it. The same team and everything-”
