by Tara Wimble
She catches another part of it and struggles to hold onto her composure when they imply that in her position, they wouldn’t be able to move on. It’s all too close to home and even though she shouldn’t, her closeness to that truth bleeds out into the conversation.
Jacque scribbles out her autograph with a small smile. “Yeah, of course.” She hands the pen back and tries to be as coy as possible to hide the sudden emotion in her voice. “You don’t get over a girl like her, really do you?”
The fan with the Chicago Red Stars logo painted on her face practically swoons. “You guys are the best.” She clutches the autograph to her chest. “Like, keep doing the show, it’s so amazing.”
With the topic changed and the lump in her throat swallowed, Jacque promises to keep the videos coming and starts to move down the line. It’s the same from every fan. A new face. A new beaming compliment. More admissions that she’s a good person and that her and Bella’s show is refreshing to see in the midst of this team and new league.
Eventually she gets to a point in the line where Bella is signing and closing in on her. She knows someone will ask even before they do and the request, however motivated, is not one they can refuse.
“Can I get a picture of you both?” The girl is younger than some of the teenagers. Twelve maybe thirteen, and she’s wearing a princess crown with a button telling Jacque that this is her birthday.
There’s no way they could say no to it even if they wanted to.
“Sure thing,” Jacque finishes signing a boy’s cleats, with the pen cap between her teeth. “There you go.”
By then Bella has already taken a step back. She’s got a foam sword in her hand that Jacque confiscates, announcing that there’s no way she’s getting knighted, before they stand side by side. The fans don’t notice their slight misbeat when Jacque puts her arm around Bella’s shoulder. Bella clings to her side afterwards and they end up smiling for more than one picture as several other fans converge on them.
Between pictures Jacque wipes her hand on Bella’s sleeve. “Look at you- the sweat-”
Bella scoffs. “Are you kidding me? I think you just left an imprint on my back-” They end up bumping their hips in an attempt to get the other to give in which makes for some happy fans.
“Are we good guys?” Bella asks with a smile. Someone asks them to stand closer and they hop in time to get into the frame of another camera. “Cheese!”
“Thank you!” The original asker calls out when they step back.
“You know what they say in Canada-” Bella mutters under her breath. Jacque keels over so much that she has to step back quickly to avoid head butting some poor little boy when she laughs. Everyone is stunned into rightful confusion and when Jacque looks up, wiping the tear from her eyes, Bella is looking back at her with only Jacque able to see the actual joy on her face.
Her moment is cut short by cries for her to come over and Jacque returns to Bella’s side, giggling out a ‘you’re welcome’ as she goes back to signing various pictures of herself. They go down the line together until security tells them they need to clear the field.
*
It’s only inevitable that their next guest ends up being Sadie. After the emotional train wreck that ended up being their second episode it’d been a fairly good idea on Jacque’s part to open up the role of next guest to the twitter world.
Sadie won by a landslide.
It was actually slightly concerning how rabidly people clamored to get her on but that’s a nightmare for another day.
Bella has the brilliant idea that they should actually dress like the people who come onto the show and that had her raiding Jacque’s closet for actual denim clothing items, much to the latter’s amusement.
“You’ve been Canadian for how long and you still don’t have a proper tuxedo?” Jacque laughs, handing over a denim button-up shirt that Bella will assuredly swim in. “Where did I go wrong?”
“How did I escape is more like it.” Bella mumbles under her breath as she stares at the shirt disgustedly. “Did you ever actually wear this?”
Jacque rolls her eyes, pulling out a shirt for herself. “All of the time.”
“And we were seen in public together?” Bella jokes, thankful to see that Jacque isn’t taking it to heart and accepts the playfulness for face value. The only way they can move forward is to try and get that banter back. It’s not possible if they’re constantly afraid to step on each other’s toes.
“Come on, put on your denim and let’s get out there. We have a disaster to film.”
The fun starts early.
They can’t even manage to spin their computer chairs around to face the camera without bumping into each other so the introduction ends up being them giggling and somewhere in there managing to introduce Sadie as their guest.
Somehow it’s only downhill from there.
The ice between she and Sadie has almost completely thawed and their banter is testament to that fact. Whereas even a few weeks ago the barbs and teasing smiles would have been tinged with an underlying bitterness, now they’re filled with a renewed sense of affection.
This is the Sadie she’d grown to know and love over the past few years and not the one she’d been confronted with when she first came to Chicago.
The rapid fire question segment ends up not being as rapid as they’d hoped and then it’s Jacque’s turn to interview Sadie.
Nervous butterflies roil in Bella’s stomach, she knows that the camera isn’t on her for this portion so she allows herself to just take it all in. It’s not even worth it to pretend she’s trying to watch the both of them. Her eyes are all on Jacque.
The way she interacts with Sadie, so full of joy and warmth, the way she sends teasing little smiles and eyebrows in Bella’s direction like they have their own little signals with which to silently judge Sadie’s rather unique eccentricity.
It’s too much, too soon and she looks away for a moment just to regain her composure. She’s going to need it, especially for the next part they have planned.
“-she’s quite artistic. What are some of the artistic outlets you like to do when you can?” Jacque asks the question and Bella sits up straighter, it’s almost time.
“I enjoy drawing and painting. I like to sing mostly on my own.” Bella has to laugh at little at how Sadie emphasizes ‘my own’ because she knows exactly what they’re about to film. Jacque can’t contain a giggle either. “That’s pretty much it.”
Jacque compliments Sadie on her talent and then the intern calls for them to cut.
Bella had brought her keyboard for this exact reason and they take a few minutes for Sadie to properly warm up her voice and for them to set up the computer equipment so she can read the tabs for ‘Stay’ off of her computer.
They’re all set up and take their places, she’s sandwiched on either side by Sadie, who’s standing, and Jacque who has taken a seat next to her.
She starts to play the open chords as the intern signals that they’re rolling again.
Sadie really does have a lovely voice but Bella can’t concentrate on that because of the way that she’s hamming it up and pretending to serenade her. There’s no relief on her other side because Jacque’s joined in on the singing and suddenly there’s a hand on her shoulder.
Jacque’s hand.
She almost forgets how to play the next chord but with a slight hesitation she’s back on rhythm. It is an immediate reaction to look at Jacque and she means to give her a questioning look but instead there’s such a reassuring look being reflected back at her that she can’t help but bite the inside of her lip and duck down, looking at the keyboard.
They get through the chorus without further incident, unless you count Sadie’s increasingly ridiculous facial expressions as incident, and then there were a few.
And then all hell breaks loose.
At least inside Bella’s chest because Jacque’s looking at her in a way she hasn’t in a long time, open and carefree, and Jacque’s
hand is patting her on the thigh. Laughing at Sadie’s antics and once they’re finished with the song she blames the long-sleeved denim shirt and the heat of the room on the red flush of her face.
“You okay?” Jacque asks once they’d packed up the equipment.
“I just need some water, I’ll be right back.” That earns her a weird look but she jets out of the room too quickly to consider it.
It’s only once she’s holed up in the office bathroom trying to get her breathing right that she figures out why Jacque had just looked at her like she was an alien.
Her full water bottle sitting on the table.
*
Ginny is so much more intimidating to be running towards than she is when she’s directing. Bella feels that the only difference between her scoring and missing is being able to tune out the almost roar that comes, not only from the crowd, but from Ginny screaming at her back line to close in on her.
Buehler is the first response, hand on her back, pushing her forwards just enough to throw her off balance. Ginny rushes out, seeing the ball just in front of Bella’s foot, but leaves the smallest of angles and Bella decides to chip it at the last second.
The Timbers Army groans as it slips past Ginny’s last ditch attempt to block the shot and it sails cleanly into the back of the goal.
Bella trips over Ginny while she’s down and sprints off towards their team’s bench. She just makes it as the rest of the field starts to reset for the restart and gives Zakiya a high five. She’d had to be carried off after colliding with Allie Long earlier in the match, but not before giving them the 1-0 lead that Bella has just increased. “That’s for you.” Bella exclaims before she runs back into position.
They steal the roses. They tear them up from the ground and take them away from the almost too eager hands of Portland and the thorns don’t pierce them when the game ends with a 2-0 shutout. Bella can’t help but show how much this win means to her, throwing her hands up and running to Zee on the sideline before embracing Quenby and Lexi in turn. They just beat Portland. Fuck.
*
The music is thrown on as high as it can go with some old school pop song and the stamping of cleats into the solid floor is the only thing louder than their voices as they dance around the locker room.
You don’t just walk into Jeld-Wen field and beat the home side. It’s not supposed to work out like this especially for a team that hasn’t won a game this season. But they just did. Two - nothing to Chicago. And you can hear their celebrations out of the locker room and down the corridor.
Bella steps in time with Jen and Maribel as they keep dancing. The music comes first. Before their post-game talk or thoughts of leaving to get back to the hotel, they just want to celebrate this moment, because it’s not every day you manage to beat Portland. Even rarer that you manage to shut-out Portland’s powerhouse combination of Taniya Holden and Christina Whembly.
Sadie has two balls under her arms that she’s saved from the game. The goals that Zee and Bella managed to score in that order. She goes to Zakiya first, the only one not up dancing after sustaining an injury that caused Bella to have to carry her off the field, and the girl’s face lights up again when Sadie hands it over.
Getting to Bella takes a little more effort as she has to dodge elbows and hips that are being thrown as the music gets faster.
“And number two.” Sadie passes the ball to her but keeps a hand on the top of it. “Good going, thunder.”
She pats the ball and then she’s shuffling off to get into the party mood with Rachel. Bella spins the ball in her hands with a smile before placing it into her locker where another welcome surprise is waiting.
“Well, it’s nice to see you both finally talking to each other like normal people again.” Jacque has obviously been ejected from the dancing space by Leslie and Taylor for disrupting everyone’s rhythm, so she’s sitting by Bella’s chosen cubbie with a smile.
Bella puts her ball down. “It is. But I’d go through it all again.” She makes a point of nudging Jacque’s shin with her foot. “Just so you know.”
Jacque’s expression sobers softly. “I admire you for that.” Her sincerity makes Bella lightheaded. “I still think that it was an unnecessary sacrifice but, it was brave. I don’t think I could have done it.”
She decides to sit down, letting the rest of the team feed her spirit without joining in, and gets close enough to press their knees side-by-side. “I think you underestimate yourself. And it was the right thing to do. And we’re better for it, right?”
Jacque nods and then stares out at where Sadie is trying to dip Sonja to the amusement of Inka in the background. “We are.”
That’s good to hear. Bella slaps Jacque’s knee. “Come on, if we stick to the corners they can’t stop you dancing.”
Rory lets them play on until some of the Thorns staff tells them their bus has arrived and then it’s a small rush of packing all of their gear away so that they make it to the rest of their scheduled Portland activities. Including the dinner that the Red Stars are paying for them to have out in Portland. It was planned whether they won or lost but knowing that they’ll be eating to commemorate a victory will make everything taste so much better.
They’re in luck that the smokehouse place they planned to go has been given enough time after the game to be cleared of any potential Portland fans so they can sneak into the back on enemy territory to enjoy their win. Bella ties her hair up, still wet from the shower, and sits next to Jacque and Jen, Sadie sits opposite her to the right.
Rory and Steph interrupt the flurry of ordering food and drink to express how pleased they were with the game and to take only the best from it for now. The negatives, they joke, can wait until they get home. That’s good enough for them.
Inka and Sonja are the first to order alcohol when their steaks come and it sparks the rest of them off after Rory rolls his eyes. They don’t have another game for eight days, enough time for this to be flushed out of their system, so Bella orders one as well. Sadie brings hers over and little gestures like this make her hopeful that they’re getting past her perceived wrong and learning to be teammates again. Friends even.
“Don’t be getting too sloppy.” Jacque jokes when Sadie places her drink down. “We know what you’re like.”
Sadie banters back but it’s lost in the mix of voices. Everything becomes a warm wash of happiness that satisfies more than just her hunger but leaves a part of her wanting for more.
She excuses herself to go the bathroom, away from the heavy air, to splash water on her face. There’s a strange discomfort that pools in the bottom of her stomach. It doesn’t go away with the water or even after taking off her jacket. Bella reaches back and kneads her knuckles into a shoulder and winces. She just feels tense.
That tension is shattered suddenly when the door to the bathroom is swung open and a familiar face peers around the corner. “Hey, you alright?”
She must have left abruptly because Jacque isn’t asking casually.
There’s no use lying. They’ve done too much of that to each other. “Not sure. I’m happy, we won. Yay!” She fist pumps and watches the lackluster attempt in the mirror. “Just didn’t expect to feel like crashing afterwards.” She touches her shoulder again.
“Did you get hit?”
“Shoved, I think.” Bella winces. “Buehler’s solid.” Jacque hesitates but Bella spots her hand jumping up. “It’s near the middle, on the right.”
It’s permission for Jacque to come up behind her and place her palm flat on Bella’s upper back. She settles her other hand on Bella’s left shoulder. “Other than the fact you’re stacked-”
Humour shouldn’t remind her but Jacque’s soft joke and her testing pressure pushing into her shoulder hits her with the morning she woke up with Jacque’s arm over her naked back.
“Doesn’t feel tender.”
A second. A blink. She’s back again.
“It hurt.”
Jacque frowns. A dent ap
pears at the top of her nose. “You might have a bruise forming or something but since you didn’t flinch or anything I doubt it’s bad.” Jacque takes her hand off her back but not her shoulder. “But don’t take my word for it, get it checked out when we get back to the hotel or something.”
Bella nods. “Yeah, I’ll see if Dani or Rob are free later.”
Jacque rubs her shoulder but breaks away after it. “Wouldn’t want you sidelined against Boston.”
When she removes her hand Bella realizes what she felt missing sitting with everyone at dinner and she sighs, turning to face Jacque before opening her arms out.
Jacque laughs at her. “Man, you really are tired.”
“Victory hug.”
“I’m not carrying you back out there.” Jacque warns as she steps up. Bella shrugs and a huge relief swells inside her when Jacque wraps her arms around her shoulders. She does feel the flare of the forming bruise but it’s worth it to just be pressed against someone and to collapse completely into Jacque. “Good game today.”
“You too.” Bella mumbles. “Thanks.”
Jacque might not think she notices but she feels her clench her hand into Bella’s hair a tad before she replies. “I always was the cuddly one, huh?”
The message is clear. Don’t be afraid of contact. Jacque is here for her in a way she wasn’t in the last few years. They’re healing bit by bit and this is a vital part of it.
“You alright?”
Bella nods into Jacque’s shoulder.
“Okay. When you want to go back out, let me know.” Jacque doesn’t make to let go of her and it makes her grateful and emotional all the same. They sigh into each other, both tired, both happy and just needing a moment.
The only temptation to disengage from Jacque comes when they walk out together. Jacque’s arm is late to drop from around her back and several of their teammates, Sadie and Quenby included, wear similar suspicions on their faces when they rejoin the table.
But Bella doesn’t want to think about that anymore, not when Inka has come around to respond to Bella’s voiced concerns over her back to jokingly give her a massage; not when they’ve just beaten ‘the team to beat’; and not when she’s feeling this good.
