Beneath a Billion Stars

by Julie Carobini

  “Hi, Cilla.”

  “Hi, yourself. What have you been doing today?”

  “Nothin. Are you working?”

  Priscilla’s heart constricted. She’d promised Candace she would not let Amber know of her plans, not until she could be assured that she would succeed. The teen had been through enough disappointments. As have I ...

  “I worked this morning already.” She kept the afternoon’s drama to herself. “I’m actually walking on the beach right now. It’s a nice way to wind down.”

  “Lucky.”

  Priscilla drew in a breath of that fresh air. “The fog blew in again. Not wild about that, but I agree, I’m a blessed girl just being here. Hopefully, you’ll be able to come and visit me soon.”

  Amber was quiet.

  “Are you still there?”

  “Yeah. I guess I’ll go now.”

  “I’m happy to talk to you as I walk. Sure there’s nothing else you’d like to talk about?”

  “Not really. Well, maybe you could give me a haircut sometime. I mean, I don’t have any money, but you could practice on me.”

  Priscilla laughed lightly. “I would adore that.”

  “Don’t get too excited about it. I don’t want it to be, you know, like super short or anything.”

  “Oh really? Shoot. I was thinking of chopping off enough to make a wig for my mannequin.”

  Amber laughed. “Cilla, you’re so crazy! Oh, man, you got Wade so good that day.”

  Priscilla laughed back, the memory fast becoming a favorite. “Okay, I promise to give you a trim exactly the way you want it. We’ll plan something soon. Okay?”

  “’kay.”

  The call with Amber had given Priscilla the lift she needed, even if the fog in the sky refused to blow away. She glanced at the phone in her hand and dialed. The line rang so long she wondered if Wade would ever pick up.

  Wade’s phone rang for the second time that evening. He scowled. How much more bad news did he care to hear? He glanced at the screen and saw that it was Priscilla. He puffed out a sigh and considered allowing her call to go to voicemail—but only briefly.

  “Hi, Priscilla.”

  “Hello.”

  A thought pressed on him as the silkiness of her voice rolled over him: He wanted to tell her about the new hitch in his building sale, this one worse than the asbestos worry. Somehow, he knew she would have a way of making the predicament sound less daunting.

  But he pushed that thought away. Too dangerous. Had he already forgotten the scene he had walked in on earlier today? She looked nearly angelic there at the edge of the pool, her white dress fanned about her, the tiny child gazing up at her. If he had not known better, he would have taken her for the girl’s mother. The scene stung and he was having a difficult time pushing past it.

  Priscilla interrupted his tangled thoughts. “I think we should finish our conversation from earlier, don’t you?”

  “Listen,” he said, “something has come up regarding the deal I was working on in New York.”

  “You’re unavailable. I understand.”

  “I didn’t say that.” The line went quiet, but he felt her there. Everything about this felt uncomfortable, like a rope against his skin. He swallowed. “It looks like I have to fly back to the City in the morning, but maybe it would be a good idea to meet for a drink. I’ll pick you up in twenty minutes.”

  She did not answer right away, as if mulling her response. “No, that’s not necessary at all. I’ll meet you.”

  He nodded, sensing this might be for the best. “Fine. Let’s meet at the seafood restaurant at the harbor.”

  “I know the place.”

  He hung up and left his home, noting how the fog in the sky created shadows.

  Priscilla changed out of her dress and heels and slipped into capris, a cotton top, and espadrilles. She felt free and comfortable as she took the steps up to the restaurant, determined to pour out her heart to Wade about Leo and Amber ... and everything.

  She’d had the rest of the afternoon and evening to think about the bizarre last couple of days. Saying goodbye to Leo for the second time had been easy. Saying goodbye to Mia? Getting over that would take some time.

  The hostess asked if she was dining alone.

  “No, there will be two of us.”

  The young woman counted out two menus. “Right this way.” She led Priscilla to a table at the far corner of the restaurant. After ordering a drink, Priscilla sat back and looked outside. Dozens of boats huddled together under a darkening sky. If she were a painter, she’d book this spot nightly until she’d captured the serenity of that view.

  “Sorry I’m late,” Wade said. He pecked her on the cheek and slid into the booth across from her. It was as if they hadn’t had terse words at all earlier today in the parking lot of the inn.

  “I ordered myself a glass of wine already,” she told him.

  He signaled for the waiter. “Whiskey. On the rocks.” He turned to her, his face unreadable.

  Then again, maybe this would not be as simple as she had hoped.

  They sat in an unusual silence until their drinks were served.

  “Cheers,” she said, lifting her glass of Pinot Grigio.

  “Salud.” He clinked his glass with hers.

  They each took sips, the quiet growing into an uncomfortable silence.

  Wade clasped his hands around his drink. “I guess you feel we have some unfinished business.”

  She took that as her cue and reached forward, placing her hand on one of his. He stiffened, but she pressed on. “I wanted to explain that I had no idea that Leo had come to the inn until, well, until it happened.”

  He eyed her. “You weren’t unhappy about it, I take it.”

  She mulled that. “I don’t know if ‘unhappy’ is the right word, exactly. I was confused by it. Curious, even.”

  “Because you’re not over him?”

  She pulled back, frowning. “I am completely over him, Wade. But he took me by surprise.”

  Wade sat back too, flashing his palms up quickly, as if in surrender. “I’m not trying to be hard on you. Nor am I trying to sound like a jealous man.”

  “And I’m not accusing you of any of that.”

  “It is obvious to me, though, that you still have feelings for your husband.”

  “Former husband.”

  “Yes, right. You don’t appear to be fully over him.”

  “I’m not ... over him?” Her voice sounded so small to her own ears.

  His shoulders lowered, as if in defeat. But this time, he looked sad, rather than angry. “Look, I’ve been in this place—shoot, you know I have.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “Obviously, Sophia had feelings for someone else that I knew nothing about. And you told me you witnessed her dump me after I proposed.”

  She scoffed and pulled back. “I didn’t exactly say that.”

  “It’s what you meant.”

  She reached across the table again, but he pulled his hand back. At that, she put her hands into her lap, folding them together, a knot forming at the base of her throat.

  Wade’s voice turned softer, earnest. “You are an incredible woman, Priscilla. But in my gut, I sense that you are not ready for a relationship.”

  She kept her gaze down. How dare he? He was wrong, far beyond wrong. But would it matter if she corrected him? By the tone of his voice and the line drive of his gaze, he had made up his mind. C’est la vie, right? Isn’t that how she had lived her life, especially since Leo left? Letting go had become as much a part of her as living.

  She turned a calm, expressionless look on him. “If that’s what you think.”

  His mouth dropped open, those dark eyes of his shrouded by brows that lowered, crinkling his forehead. “That’s it?”

  She took another sip of her wine, set the glass down, and offered him a smile. “Darling, if that’s what you think, there is nothing I can do to change your mind.”

 
His quirked his mouth. “So everything is fine. Whatever I say is fine. Whatever I think is fine?”

  She pressed her lips together, her own brows rising in agreement. “What else do you want from me?”

  His sharp gaze zeroed in on her, and he inhaled as if preparing himself for battle. “I don’t know,” he finally said. He folded his arms onto the table in front of him, settling himself onto them. “Maybe I want to see you fight a little. To get up in my face and tell me to mind my own business.”

  “But you have made up your mind. That is clear.”

  He set his jaw. She couldn’t fathom why he would be angry at her. Hadn’t she already told him that Leo meant nothing to her?

  “Remember when we met out on the lawn?”

  “Well, we had actually seen each other before that ...”

  “Fine. Then do you remember when we talked outside of the chapel? Before Sophia’s wedding? I want to know what happened to that woman.”

  She stared at him, hot anger rising in her as fast as she worked to stuff it down. She locked it away. She had no plans to unveil her inner thoughts to Wade, not the way he was acting now. What if she were to tell him how she felt and he trampled all over her feelings?

  Pricilla had been there before. She flicked away the memory, but it circled back, like a bee to spilled vinegar. She had always maintained that she’d let Leo walk away with nary a protest. But that had not been completely true. When she had first learned what Leo had done—what he and Marnie had inflicted upon their marriage—she’d told him right then and there, “I forgive you and I’ll take you back.” Perhaps she never liked to recall that moment because she had felt so desperate at the time.

  But Priscilla had made a vow to Leo—for better or for worse. His infidelity had been worse than she had ever envisioned could happen to them. Even so, she had responded in the way that she thought she should.

  And Leo had walked away from their marriage anyway. Scratch that, he had asked her to leave so that he and Marnie could live in their house.

  She looked at Wade as he sat across from her, handsome and troubled. Maybe he would not throw away her feelings as carelessly as an ex-husband, but she did not want to give him that chance.

  Wade furrowed his brow again. He licked his lips, ignoring his whiskey. “When I met you, I was taken aback. You were so ... so bossy.”

  She leaned her head to the side, examining him. “Bossy?”

  “You got under my skin, no matter how I tried to fight it.”

  “So you were trying to fight me?”

  “Maybe fight wasn’t the best word choice.” He sat back and swiped his hand through his thick head of salt-and-pepper hair. “I like you, Priscilla. But this thing with Leo ... I don’t know what to think about that.”

  She sensed an old wall rising within her. That wall had helped her when she had graduated from beauty school. Making conversation had never come that easy for her, but she had practiced listening well and had made an art of it. Her clients back home could say anything they wanted to her—and had they ever. None of them, unless a very close friend, knew much about her at all.

  And that same wall had made it possible for her to fly off to Europe by herself, making friends along the way as she had with Meg and others. Listening well, plus offering only the highlights of her own life, equaled safe living.

  “I like you, too, Wade.” Priscilla was careful not to divulge the extent of her feelings for him. She considered bringing up how she felt the other night when he’d left her alone to attend a meeting with Sophia, how his slight had affected her, but in the end, she knew she would sound ridiculous, desperate maybe. She continued, “But you don’t believe me and I’m not sure that’s something I can overcome.”

  She kept her voice calm, unwilling to let a man—any man—hurt her again. Either he was one hundred percent in or he was not at all. She had learned the hard way how easy it was for a committed man to break his promise. She couldn’t be a victim again—she just wouldn’t.

  “Tonight wasn’t what I thought it would be,” she said simply. She considered picking up her purse and walking out.

  “Me either.”

  She stared back at him. “What was it that you expected, Wade?”

  He scowled, something she was beginning to grow tired of. She had seen a similar expression on his face when avoiding a call or when things did not appear to be going his way. It made her wonder if something more was happening with him, with his business, and if he would be as honest with her as he wanted her to be with him.

  He interrupted her thoughts to answer her question. “I didn’t expect the Pollyanna worldview. I thought—I thought we’d have a meeting of the minds, so to speak. That we’d fight it out.”

  “So you thought I asked you to a business meeting?” She shook her head. “Let me ask you: Why is it that you rely on money rather than your friends?”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “I’ve seen it firsthand, with the center. You would rather throw money at a situation rather than do the work to let others know of your troubles—as if life is some big business deal to you.”

  His eyes bored into hers. “So you do have some fight left in you.”

  She tried, but Priscilla couldn’t muster a smile. Even at Wade’s attempt at a joke.

  “There.”

  “What?”

  “You tried to smile, like we’re not embroiled in a disagreement right now.”

  “It’s called diffusing a difficult situation.”

  “Why diffuse it? Why not hit it head on?”

  “Okay. Then answer my question about EduCenter.” Her pulse raced. “My understanding is that you were behind the rise of Sophia’s fashion design business—”

  “Sophia’s designs got her where she is today—not me.”

  “But you helped her with marketing, with social media. Correct?”

  He shrugged. “That’s something I’ve always dabbled in. It’s not the main focus of my consulting business.”

  “Regardless, why not do the same for the center? Get more people involved? Your friends didn’t even know the center existed.”

  His jaw clicked and she wanted to reach up and run her fingers over his skin.

  “The center was doing fine before you became involved,” he said.

  She bit back a gasp, mentally withdrawing her hand from his face, the sting of his rebuke weighing on her. “In other words, you don’t want me around.”

  He recoiled, his expression confused. “That’s not what I said.”

  “You didn’t have to.” Priscilla took hold of her purse and slid out of her chair.

  “I just meant that we had it under control.”

  She gave him a sad little smile. “You may think you can control everything, Wade, but you can’t. Things happen. Like Leo showing up here—that was completely out of my control. The center has taken a financial hit. And your New York deal may not happen the way you want it to. Take your pick.” Priscilla sighed. “If we don’t learn to let go of what we think we can control, to understand God’s hand in every situation, then we’re in danger of being tossed around hopelessly.”

  The space between his eyes constricted. “Cilla ...”

  Priscilla shook her head and slung her bag over her shoulder. She had so much more to say to Wade, about Amber, about how deeply she felt herself falling for him, but in the end, she had no fight left.

  Chapter 13

  Priscilla pulled up to the condo she was renting near the beach. Although she technically lived in the same complex as Jackson and Meg, the buildings were spread far and wide, with long, curled pathways lined with jacaranda trees with purple showy flowers and aromatic eucalyptus trees between them. They lived far enough away from each other to make it seem like they weren’t neighbors at all.

  There were other differences as well. While Jackson and Meg owned a large end unit with views of the sea and easy access to the pool, Priscilla’s place was a small one-bedroom on the first
floor. She had a tiny nest egg from her settlement with Leo, but she preferred not to touch that other than what she had put down as a deposit on this small rental. Instead, she survived on her salon salary, thankful for the generous tips from the inn’s clientele.

  Her one requirement when searching for a place was that she could hear the waves crashing at night. Check. Requirement number two? She wanted to be able to easily walk to the beach. With Meg’s recommendation, she snagged her lovely condo.

  She slipped out of her sandals, allowing her feet to burrow into thick long-pile carpet, and padded across her living room. Drinks with Wade had not gone well, obviously. Neither had her goodbye to Leo. It took mere minutes to fall in love with his child, to become swept up in what might have been. If she had told any of her friends back home, or her new ones here, they’d think she had lost her mind for even entertaining the thought of helping Leo raise his child.

  It had nothing to do with him. Not really. Despite his betrayal, Mia’s situation immediately drew her in—oh, and the way she looked at her? Priscilla shook her head and put a fist gently to her chest, holding back tears. She ached for Mia and promised herself to pray for Leo. He was going to need it.

  Her mind wouldn’t quiet. She’d tried to put on her most positive face with Wade, but he’d rebuffed her. Acted like she was weak. What did he want from her? Her mind drifted back to when she first encountered Wade before Sophia’s wedding. Even then she recognized a red flag in his demeanor. He’d scowled at her, though she had given him a pass, assuming his bad mood had something to do with the fact that his ex-girlfriend was about to be married.

  She’d seen his softer side, though, and she’d warmed to him. More than warmed—she heated up on the spot whenever he was near. The realization of that sent her into the throes of deep, wandering thoughts. Priscilla wanted him in her life—every part of it—this, she knew. But ... something held her back.

  Perhaps it was knowing that Wade Prince was a little bit too good to be true.

  She groaned and shook her head. Then she pulled on a tufted coat and meandered along the lighted path that led to the beach, letting herself out through an iron gate. Her feet landed in soft sand, causing the tension to begin to flow out of her shoulders. A swirl of a breeze played with loose strands of her hair and she breathed it in, salt and all.