Alive

by Janice L Wick

  She looked down and looked back at him in disbelief.

  He said, “I'm done. For good now,” his voice heavy. “I just want to go someplace quiet and.”

  She interrupted asking, “These women?”

  He picked his jacket up and said “Wives of important people really. Politicians some celebrities. . . Looking for someone to make them feel something, anything. They try to buy me these things. My bike, my agent bought me that. “She said it makes clients fill more discrete.”

  “Agent?” Lise scoffed dismissively.

  “Yes that's who we call who gets you the jobs.”

  “And now you want me to go away with you because you quit cheating on me.”

  “We never said we were exclusive.”

  “Don’t be foolish. I know,” she paused. “I knew. . . I wasn’t the only one you were seeing. . . I know you work with other models and they just can’t wait to get a hold of you.”

  “Lise.”

  “Hey no harm no foul,” As soon as the worlds left her mouth, they both realized she didn’t believe them. Her eyes cast toward the windows the lights from the street cast on her prominent cheekbones.

  “It was work I didn't have any connections like that just sex, and I put an end to it.”

  “I haven’t been with anyone but you for a year now, outside of my work and it was just sex,” he thought back as he remembered the last time he had casual sex.

  Vroom vroom

  He pulled into by the side of the beach sidewalk, clicked the bike into neutral and set it on the kickstand in one smooth motion. The wind from the ocean scurried the thin orange hairs of his mo-hawked helmet. He stared through his darkened visor across the horizon to where you could see feint shadows of ships at sea. It was an early morning ride, not for a specific meeting, but one to clear one’s mind.

  “Hey nice bike,” said an incoming tourist walking with her friend both wearing bikinis ready for tanning, carrying a book in her see through bag.

  “You ever ride?” Seto said, taking off his helmet balancing it on the tail. He stepped off his bike and leaned against it,

  “Yea once,” she giggled.

  “Hop on,” he said, smiling at the girls and pointing towards the spare all-black helmet. She looked at her friend and smiled, and her friend looked at her and said, “Don’t do it, were supposed to go tanning.”

  She ignored her friend and hopped onto his bike grabbed the helmet from the side. A large cloud blocked out the sun, giving the surroundings a silver tint. She looked at her friend one last time opening her eyes fully and weighing her decision. A moment before he said, “You ready?” and raced up the white lines out of sight. It was a short distance to his favorite hotel.

  “Hey what’s your number?” he asked, and tossed her his phone. “I got to roll Megan. Good luck with the board,” he said, as he pinned her down and their fingers interlaced. He kissed her then headed towards the door.

  “Wait. I still got the keys...” she voiced as she climbed toward the nightstand and tossed them towards him.

  “The room is payed for if you and your friend want to stay here for a night.”

  She lay on the bed with the white crisp sheet covering half of her body; she watched him walk out the door, and bump into a room service waiter pushing a cart. Looked at himself from the reflection of the sterling silver, lifted up the plate and took three fries. Brought the cart in the room for her and said “Eat up, I know you’re hungry after . . . well.”

  “I’ll call you,” she said with a seductive voice.

  “Yes, just sex,” she said with a casual hint of sarcasm. “So should I just go get checked?”

  “Lise stop. . . I see my doctor twice of month, however I cannot speak on your life.” Seto snapped. “Look Lise.

  “Why are you telling me this . . . why now? To make yourself feel better?”

  “I told you this because I don’t want any more secrets between us.”

  “You have some balls mister. . . So what we just did, was?”

  “It's not the same I. . .”

  He hesitated as he was going to say I love you... Having never used the term before, he lay there like he finally found the last piece of the puzzle, like it was right there the whole time, hiding in plain sight.

  She noticed his pause and said, “Well I did, do too.”

  “Lise.”

  “I need some time. . . I want you to go.”

  He walked toward her putting his hands around her waist. She turned away and faced the window, placing her hand there to fill something real.

  “I'll be leaving in 2 days, if you want to come let me know I can't be here anymore,” he said sincerely, his voice light. He closed the door silently locking it with this that she gave him, an all gold key with g935 engraved. He didn’t take the elevator, instead he walked down the stairs. Clutched his fist and pounded the wall

  “Shit!”

  Any more bad ideas he thought. He hopped on his bike and drove away.

  5:00 p.m.

  Seto arrived back to his apartment, he parked in the parking garage and walked upstairs. Inside he stood there, in the middle of the room, not moving, very still. He stood between the door, and the light of his bedroom. He looked at the lamp that had been burning for a week straight. He had a thought- Yes, that was the last time I was here. His apartment was neat, spotless. There was no mail sitting on the counter, or dishes left in the sink.

  The only thing, which even made you think someone lived here was the out of place magnets, and up to date calendar on the fridge with a note on it about riding times.

  He sat on his floor in the living room. First he grabbed the green from the coffee table drawer, then stared at the blank TV screen for a moment. He rolled his own cigarettes, using green substance in a paper, and stuffed it fit to burst, rolled it, and then licked it to seal it shut. He picked the remote up and turned on the TV letting it play late night comedy for a while, before he turned to a Japanese cartoon. It was if the cartoon was perfectly matching his story. The cartoon was about an underdog who finally faced up to his opponent. He took a long drag of the joint in his hand, then rest his hand on the floor.

  The ash fell to the floor. He didn’t notice, as he was still staring at the character, watching him face death, as he exhaled clouds of smoke.

  He knew it was a Japanese cartoon, he could tell from the yellow subtitles at the bottom of the screen.

  It said, “I will give all I've got.”

  He thought about Lise. He took another hit of the joint and let his hand go loose, as he dropped the remote and leaned back against the couch resting his head on the seat. His hand was still holding the joint. He had put it up to his mouth for another puff and, then realizing it has lost its ember. Let his hand fall back to the floor and closed his eyes.

  5:20 p.m.

  Jade received a call from Miranda. “Yes this is her,” Jade said, with a cold yet womanly voice.

  “Oh of course,” she answered.

  “Well it seems that he is no longer seeing clients, yesterday was his last,” she said in a professional manner, as she walked out to her balcony.

  “Look in my experience, once they leave. They do come back, because of the money, or it’s all they know. But In his case he seems serious . . . No . . . No I won't.” She said with no expression on her face, her words slow.

  “Look I've already given out more than I can . . . We have others . . . Look I want him back too he was my best too,” Jade said assumingly.

  She began thinking about the last time they were together. She perhaps would have fallen in love with him, if she knew what love was. In her mind she had always used sex for what it was meant for, for power. She realized she was still on the phone, and said, “I've got to go, and don't call back here again for him. He's gone. And we wouldn't want your husband to find out about this, for he would leave you with nothing.”

  She hung up her phone, and stared out into the city, the blue sky with sprinkled clouds, cl
eansing her of any sins she had ever committed and muttered, “Bitch.” She didn't know if it was for him, or that girl or what. She asked herself- what did she feel, who was this anger for?

  9:28 p.m.

  “Mama... Mama,” the TV woke him, he looked at his phone, it had been 4 hours. He checked his messages, and decided to send one to Lise, “Hey I want to see you.”

  This kind of message was not unusual for the two, they usually texted everyday about what ever made them laugh through their days, from funny videos to events on their last time meeting.

  He leaped to his feet, and stared out the window, looking down at the city from 8 stories above. He looked at the illuminated windows, he smiled, snapped on the light, and went to take a hot shower, enough to where steam wafted underneath the bathroom door. When he stepped out the shower he grabbed a towel, and walked into the living room. There was a dark haired woman sitting on his couch, smoking the joint that he had not finished, she stared at him with a grin. He said, “Next time give me a phone call before you show,” showing no excitement about her arrival.

  “I did . . . and I still had the key from when you moved in so,” she said, with a voice of gratitude.

  “Oh.

  Mara was popular but didn’t have many close friends; Seto was one of the few. They had first met when seto had first moved to the city. Mara would go to her favorite café after school and would spend an hour or two there before she got ready for work. However, she would occasionally stop by for a slice of their lemon meringue cake after work around 9, and there he would be. Pecking away on his computer, drinking green tea with his headphones on. Occasionally she would look up to see if he was watching her, but it seemed that he never looked up. One day on stopping by to pick up a piece of rewarding cake, she made up in her mind, if she saw him again, she would approach him. And the next time she stopped in, she walked through the door slower than usual. She placed her order for a slice of cake and a green tea. She then turned to him, and he sat there reflecting back her gaze.

  “Mam,” The overly anxious attendant shouted.

  Mara walked to the counter and picked up her order and placed the green tea on his table and sat next to him. He pecked away at his keyboard for a moment before he closed the laptop, and turned toward her. She swept her hair out of her face and asked, “I’m not interrupting am I?”

  “Yes you are. But you brought tea so I’ll let it slide,” he said grabbing the tea from the table but still ignoring her.

  “I could leave.”

  “Would you, please,”

  She stood up in shock, but turned back toward him and said, “You can have the cake too I've lost my appetite.”

  “Wait.”

  “Oh what now,”

  He lifted his head and said, I don’t even know you. But I’ve seen you come in here more than a couple times now,

  “Wow my mistake.”

  “But I have noticed my favorite thing about you so far. . . It's not the way you walk with grace, or your smile that lights the room but . . . your eyes.” He paused as he peered into her eyes. “There a pretty green, and strong.”

  “Now why didn’t you start with that?”

  “What’s wrong?” she said, as she got up and hugged him; maneuvering her way slowly around the furniture towards him.

  “What’s wrong, Lise is giving you a hard time again?” He was not fully dry and some of the water got on her shirt. He stood there, then wrapped his arm around her.

  “I told her,” he said.

  “Told who?”

  “I told Lise.”

  “What, told her you’re leaving her, because you want to be with me?” she said. With a smirk on her face. He walked into his bedroom and she silently followed.

  “I'm serious,” he said.

  She almost immediately realized he wasn’t joking and her face turned from a half smile, into a look of complete shock.

  “About what you do,” she said in a low voice, any more quiet would have been a whisper.

  “I couldn't take lying to her anymore.”

  “Holy shit dude,” she scoffed.

  “Do you mind?” he asked, taking the towel off and throwing it onto the bed, more as a statement instead of question. Her face said, “I can't believe he just did that.”

  She looked at his naked body for a second then turned around.

  “What did she say?” Mara asked.

  “What could she say?”

  “I don’t know.” she said, her eyes looking down to the ground, then resting on his closet.

  He grabbed some all black underwear with a white waistband.

  “Come here,” Mara said, and went to him and hugged him.” She felt his erection and pretended to not notice.

  “I should be alone right now.”

  “No.” She said.

  “No . . . your right, stay,” he said gratefully.

  “Have you eaten?”

  “I'm not hungry.”

  She walked over to him relighting the joint and handed it to him, he took one drag then set it down. He pulled her in and looked into her eyes and said, “What would you have said?”

  “I . . . She. . . ” she turned her body away from him and freed from his grasp, walking to, and sitting on the bed.

  He stood there like a tree that just had all its fruit plucked. He picked up his phone and grabbed a pair of blue jeans. He looked and seen 2 messages from Lise, which read:

  “I need time.”

  “Where are you?”

  She noticed that he had left the room and was inside of his phone.

  “Hey let's go get ice cream and see a movie,” Mara said, and pulled him back out of his phone. He didn’t reply to the message, nor to her. He just pushed her against the wall and said confidently without effort, “I'm leaving for vacation in 2 days. . . I just want to fuck.”

  She looked into his watery eyes as they begin to tear, and hugged him, he hugged her back.

  He wiped tears from his eyes, and then took her hands off of him; breaking contact. He then kissed her on her neck as she looked down closing her eyes, and felt his lips. She at first shied away then she lifted her hands again to feel his body and his muscles.

  “Ok Seto,” she said, keeping her head still, but watched his dark green eyes.

  He kissed her and then walked her over to the bed. He kissed her hard then unzipped her jeans. She pushed her jeans down past her hips and, he did the rest, pulling them down to her ankles and, goes down on her.

  He wiped his mouth. Moved her white panties with a flower on the middle to the side, and entered her. She moaned and closed her eyes. When she opened they stared into each other’s eyes. He had a thought- she is so small. This turned him on even more and he began thrusting harder into her. They couldn’t tell, how much time had passed, they had lost control of themselves.

  He stopped. Rolled onto his back and lay there catching their breath. He was looking at the lines and curves of her body, she lay next to him with her hand clutched in a fist on his chest. She then relaxed letting her hand fall to his stomach.

  He lit a joint and smoked as she lay on his chest, she pulled the blanket over her bare body. He watched her fall asleep.

  When she woke she realized he was not still laying next to her. He was there listening to music, typing like a stenographer on his computer, she said, “Hey.”

  He stopped and said, is that why you came over here is that what you wanted?” he snapped. He had never diagnosed what he had felt for her.

  “No,” said Mara.

  “Really?”

  “No I, just wanted to see you.”

  “Never mind... Get dressed were leaving.” He said evenly, hitting a few keys on the computer and then walked out of the room.

  He was in the kitchen waiting, she walked in after getting ready and said, “Now my hairs is messed up.”

  “Yes it's sexy.”

  She began to walk out the door and he said, “Wait,” and handed her a helmet. She had a though
t- I can feel my body sore, it feels good, how lucky of a girl Lise is.

  He started up the bike, then looked at her and said, “You remember how to ride on one of these.”

  “Ima just hold on tight,” she said.

  “Yes tight,” he said evenly, “And when I lean you lean.”

  He hopped on the bike and pat the seat behind him. He grabbed his helmet and pointed to the Bluetooth connection on them and said, “Can you hear me?”

  Her eyes cast toward his.

  “The connection is successful,” the Robotic voice of the helmets stated.

  “Can you hear me?” Seto asked.

  “Yes,” She had heard him the first time but she hated silence and loved his voice. He said, “Cool let's go.”

  He felt her legs and arms wrap around him, as her feet got acquainted with the pegs and balance of the bike. Seto simultaneously put the bike into first gear and began rolling.

  “Where are we going?” she said.

  “So many questions,” Seto answered, still completely focused on the road but now with an added smirk.

  “Well I just wanted to know,” she said holding on tighter to him, feeling safe within his control. They came to a stop and she looked down and saw his brown wing tip boots gliding over the cement. She had a thought- why must I feel this way about him, I know he is with another woman. Vroom vroom. He revved the engine as coming to a stop, then eased off the accelerator and held the clutch down. She had a thought- “Every vibration of that engine went through my body I better hold on.” He pulled into a hotel and at that moment she looked up and saw the words on the hotel, ‘The Summit’.

  “What’s over here?” Mara asked.

  “A quiet place to think.”

  “I never knew this was here.”

  He let the bike pull onto the sidewalk, as he stopped and walked it to a halt and killed the engine.

  “Most people don’t,” he said, taking off his helmet. To the left there was a long stagnant lake. This lake was at least 200 feet wide, and about a mile long.