Compass

by Deborah Bladon

  “No,” I answer succinctly.

  “No?”

  “You love me, Katie. I knew you couldn’t be happy without me.”

  She laughs. “I’m happy without you.”

  “You’re not,” I snap back with a smile.

  “I am.” She pushes back from the table. “You don’t know what makes me happy anymore, Gage.”

  “I make you happy.”

  She shakes her head. “You haven’t in a very long time. What we had is over. It’s been over for years. You get that, right?”

  “It’s not over,” I say confidentially. “I’m still crazy about you. You’re still just as wild about me.”

  “This is ridiculous.” She shoulders her purse. “We haven’t seen each other in five years. There’s nothing left between us.”

  “Prove it.”

  That takes her to her feet. “Prove it? What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

  I’m out of my chair too and in front of her before she realizes what’s happening. “Kiss me.”

  Her gaze drops to my lips. “You’re insane.”

  “Kiss me and prove that there’s nothing left between us.”

  “I am not kissing you,” she hisses out between her cherry red lips.

  “Kiss me,” I demand again as I take a step closer.

  Her breath gusts over my chin. “No.”

  My hands move to her upper arms. I feel the warmth of her skin as her eyelids flutter shut.

  When she opens them, her gaze is pinned to my mouth. “I don’t want to kiss you.”

  “You do.”

  The corners of her lips curve up. “I don’t.”

  I slide one hand up her neck until I’m cradling the back of it. “Kiss me, Katie. If you feel nothing, I swear to God I’ll leave you alone.”

  Her tongue darts over her bottom lip before she bunches the front of my dress shirt into her right fist, yanks me forward and crashes her sweet mouth into mine.

  Chapter 26

  Kate

  How the hell can his kiss still do things to me?

  I part my lips when his tongue brushes against them. He groans into my mouth exactly the way he used to.

  My knees don’t stand a chance.

  I stumble toward him with the front of his shirt bunched in one fist, and my other hand snaking its way through his hair.

  My common sense is telling me to stop, but every other part of my body is begging me to keep going.

  His hand tightens its grip on my neck while the other inches down my back toward my ass.

  If he touches it, I’ll be lost to this.

  Our kiss breaks when I draw up the strength to pull back.

  “Katie.” My name tumbles from his full lips in a rush. “Jesus, Katie.”

  I struggle to even my breathing with his forehead pressed against mine.

  “That was…shit…that was fucking amazing.” He huffs out a deep laugh. “You do things to me.”

  I feel it.

  I know he’s hard as stone beneath his pants.

  His erection is pressed against me, taunting me, teasing me.

  I curse inwardly. I can’t think about us in bed together.

  I step back, instantly feeling bereft when his hands drop to his sides.

  He stares at me, watching my fingers as they strum over my lips.

  “You felt that,” he accuses with a cocky smile. “You felt what I felt.”

  I shake my head a little too vigorously. “No. I didn’t.”

  His gaze lands on the front of my blouse. “Your body says otherwise.”

  I know my nipples have peaked into hard points. I cross my arms over my chest. “We shouldn’t have done that.”

  “We needed to do that,” he counters. “You can’t tell me that you don’t want me still.”

  I can. I should, but it would be a lie.

  The man broke my heart, but he still knows how to awaken something inside of me. The longing for his touch is real.

  I glance at the door to the café. “I have to go.”

  “Home?” he asks, lowering his voice. “Are you going home?”

  “I’m going somewhere,” I answer because I need to talk to Tilly or Olivia.

  Tilly will tell me to jump back into bed with Gage. Olivia will offer a more cautious opinion about guarding my heart.

  I don’t know what piece of advice I need more right now.

  “You’ll have dinner with me soon,” he says with a tilt of his head. “You still love shrimp scampi, don’t you?”

  I ignore everything he just said as I fish in my purse for my phone. Once it’s in my palm, I hold it to my chest as if it contains all the answers to the questions racing through me.

  Gage nods his chin toward my phone. “I’ll call you tomorrow.”

  I don’t say anything. I turn, stumble my first step and then head straight for the door as I type out a three-word text message with my shaking hands.

  Kate: I kissed him.

  ***

  “Tell me everything.” Tilly smiles as she tucks my hair behind my shoulder. “You look flushed. Is that from kissing Gage or did you run all the way here from Palla’s?”

  I glance around the vet clinic. The waiting room is packed with dogs, cats, two birds, and at least a dozen people.

  I run a hand over my forehead. “You’re busy. I can wait. We can talk about this when you’re done work.”

  Her gaze drops to the watch on my wrist. “I punched out thirty minutes ago. Sebastian has a meeting, so I’m hanging out here until he’s done.”

  I suddenly realize that I just assumed that Tilly would drop everything to counsel me about what I should do next. I should have asked if she had plans tonight when she responded to the text I sent her announcing that I’d kissed Gage.

  She told me to get my ass down to Premier Pet Care, so that’s what I did.

  “It’s always a zoo on the nights we’re open late.” She points at the waiting room. “I thought I might be able to help Dr. Hunt, but two other vet techs are here, so I’m free to go. Let’s grab a drink.”

  I need a drink. I need anything that will take the edge off.

  “You have time?” I reach for her hand. “I don’t want to take you away from your husband.”

  “He’ll be at least another hour.” She shrugs. “We’re going to grab some Italian take-out, hold hands on the subway and then eat spaghetti before we practice baby-making.”

  I laugh. “Are you still in practice mode with the baby-making?”

  “I’m still on birth control.” She pats her flat stomach. “Next year we’ll put all our practice to good use.”

  Tilly’s desire to have a child is buried beneath the joy she’s experiencing being a newlywed.

  Sebastian is on the same page. A baby will happen when they’re both ready.

  “One martini.” I hold up my index finger. “My treat.”

  “I’ll grab my purse.” She rounds the reception desk to head back to the staff room. “I’m dying to know about this kiss, Kate. I think you just took the first step toward your second chance with Gage.”

  I reached out to Tilly for a reason.

  She won’t tell me to put Gage in my rearview mirror and move on with my life. There won’t be any warnings about the high probability that he’ll break my heart again.

  She’ll talk about true love, throwing caution to the wind, and exploring all the possibilities.

  I need that tonight because that kiss sparked something deep within me that I thought had died five years ago.

  Reaching up to touch my kiss-swollen lips, I feel hope fluttering in my chest.

  Chapter 27

  Gage

  “You kissed your old flame?” Dylan Colt, my attorney and friend, lifts the bottle in his hand in the air. “That sounds like a reason to celebrate.”

  I tap the side of his beer bottle with my water bottle. “Give me more of a reason, Dylan. Tell me you’ve got good news for me.”

  I didn’t plan on
meeting up with him tonight. I would have been just fine on my own, reliving that kiss I shared with Katie earlier.

  I had to rest my ass back in the chair after she left Palla on Fifth. My dick was hard as stone and my vision was blurring from the constant thundering of my heart inside my chest.

  I almost took off after her, but I knew she needed space.

  The kiss impacted her just as much as it did me.

  When Dylan called to tell me that he was here at Tin Anchor looking for me, I got on the subway.

  “I’m doing everything in my power to bring you good news.” He sets the bottle on the bar.

  “Good,” I reply, wishing he had something more to offer today. “I need to see my daughter.”

  “I’m working on that.” His gaze drops to his phone. “I told you when you first came to see me that I would put everything I had into reuniting you with Kristin. Nothing’s changed.”

  I hired Dylan to help me navigate the muddy waters of Kristin’s custody because he’s the best divorce attorney in Manhattan.

  Even though Madison and I never married, it doesn’t make our situation any less complicated.

  In fact, it’s fucking complex. Every minute that passes is another moment in time that I don’t get to share with my daughter.

  Dylan tugs on the lapels of his gray suit jacket. The guy invests a small fortune in his wardrobe. His black hair is cut with precision. He’s what you’d expect a textbook version of an attorney to look like.

  His tactics are cutthroat though which is why I sought him out after a regular at the bar sung his praises. She told me that Dylan had accomplished something that the three attorneys she’d hired before him couldn’t. Dylan got her shared custody of her kids after two judges had ruled she’d have no visitation.

  He’s a miracle worker. I’m counting on him using those skills to get me face-to-face with Kristin.

  “Tell me about the old flame.” He takes a pull of beer. “I take it that it’s Katie you kissed?”

  Her name came up one night when Dylan and I took to the pool table. A few good shots with the pool cue and even more of tequila got me loosened up enough that story-after-story about Katie poured out of me.

  Dylan listened and then mentioned a girl he met in high school. He didn’t expand on that. I didn’t push.

  I’ve only known him a few months, but I’ve watched him strike up conversations with women when he’s been here at the bar. He has a type; light brown hair, blue eyes, pretty and petite. He’s left with every woman he’s bought a drink for.

  Tonight, he’s more focused on the imported bottle of beer in his hand than any of the women looking in his direction.

  “We met for coffee. Things progressed from there.” I keep the details to a minimum.

  I haven’t told Dylan that Katie lives in Manhattan. He put those pieces together himself when he overheard me mentioning her to Myles one night last week.

  Myles parked himself on a stool next to Dylan and promptly asked if I’d gotten Katie back into bed yet. I told him to go to hell, he laughed and ordered a scotch. Dylan got up to take a call.

  As if on cue, his phone rings.

  “Fuck.” He hangs his head. “It’s too late for this shit.”

  I huff out a laugh. “When I handed over my retainer to you, you told me you were available day and night. Some people take that literally.”

  “Thanks for not being one of them.” His gaze drops to the phone’s screen. “It’s a client. She’s under the impression she can pay me in blow jobs.”

  I shake my head. I’ve heard it before. He’s got more than a few stories to tell of recently divorced women throwing their naked selves at his feet in his office.

  “You’re not answering that?” I tilt my chin toward his phone.

  “I don’t fuck clients.” His gaze wanders to the end of the bar where a woman with light brown hair is sipping from a glass filled with vodka and cranberry juice.

  “You have no problem fucking my customers,” I point out as his phone quiets.

  He tosses the woman a smile. “Not tonight. I’m due in court bright and early. I’m heading back to my office to prep.”

  “You’ll keep me updated on my case?” I ask as I clear his empty bottle from the bar top.

  “The second I have news, I’ll call.” Standing, he opens his wallet and drops a twenty dollar bill on the bar. “I’m not giving up, Gage. You sure as hell better not.”

  “I’ll fight until my dying breath for my little girl.” I exhale harshly. “I’ll never give up on her.”

  He stalks toward the door, ignoring the woman at the end of the bar with her eyes pinned on him.

  She’s off her stool and trailing him before his foot hits the sidewalk.

  My hand dives into the front pocket of my jeans. I tug out my phone and glance at the screen. The only missed message is from Myles.

  I didn’t expect to hear from Katie. It might be days before she reaches out, but that kiss held promise and she felt it too. There’s no way in hell she can ignore that.

  Chapter 28

  Kate

  Guilt crawls up my skin as I stand outside Tin Anchor.

  It’s not because I rushed out of Palla on Fifth last night to see Tilly.

  I needed her romantic view of what could be between Gage and me. We spent more than an hour talking about how the kiss made me feel.

  It was a flashback to college when I raced over to Mariah Larson’s dorm room to tell her that I’d kissed Gage Burke.

  I’ll never forget the flicker of disappointment on my friend’s face before she screamed in delight.

  Six months later I found out that Mariah wanted him.

  Tilly doesn’t want Gage. Last night, it was all about how I felt.

  When I was with Tilly at a bar down the street from Premier Pet Care, I confessed that the kiss had curled my toes and sparked something that I haven’t felt in five years.

  When I went home, my hand dove into my panties and I got off to the memory of Gage inside of me.

  In my imagination, his thrusts were strong and wild. He breathed heavy on my neck, whispering that he loved how good I felt.

  This morning, I swore to myself that I’d forget the kiss ever happened.

  By noon, I was dreaming about another one.

  It’s eight p.m. now and I’m wondering why the hell I’m standing on this sidewalk and not at home, thinking about anything but my ex-fiancé and how incredible it feels to kiss him.

  I shouldn’t have touched myself last night. I definitely shouldn’t have done it with images of Gage’s naked body dancing in my mind.

  “Katie?”

  The deep timbre of Gage’s voice shoots right to my core. I close my eyes to ward off the memory of him growling out my name when I had his cock in my mouth for the first time years ago.

  I thought he was inside the bar, but he’s standing behind me.

  I swipe a hand over my forehead and turn to face him.

  Dammit.

  The man can make anything look good, especially a pair of jeans, a black T-shirt and a panty-dropping smile.

  I inch my hand over my hip to make sure my lace panties are still in place under my pink dress.

  “Gage,” I say his name to give myself a second to find some composure.

  “It’s good to see you.” His gaze drops to the front of my wrap dress.

  I know my nipples have hardened, even though the temperature is hovering around eighty degrees.

  I don’t repeat the sentiment to him because I know he’ll comment about how he can tell that I’m happy to see him.

  I need to invest in something other than thin lace bras.

  “Can I make you a drink?” He gestures to the door of Tin Anchor. “A dirty martini with two olives.”

  I tug on the silver hoop earring in my left ear. “I came to say that the kiss was a mistake.”

  His lips twist back into a smile. “No, you didn’t.”

  Gage always wore arrogan
ce like a badge. Obviously, that hasn’t changed.

  “I did.” I drop my hands to my hips. “We shouldn’t have kissed.”

  He takes a measured step closer to me. “We should kiss again.”

  We should.

  I bite my bottom lip to stop myself from saying that.

  “I’ll make you a drink and we’ll talk.” He gestures to the handle on the door. “You didn’t come here because you felt nothing last night.”

  “One drink,” I reply because I won’t give any more weight to his words about what I did or didn’t feel.

  He moves past me to yank open the door to his bar. “One drink and we’ll go from there.”

  ***

  Two martinis later and my self-control has disappeared.

  I don’t try to hide the fact that I’m staring at Gage’s muscular arms as he prepares a tray of drinks for a female server who can’t take her eyes off of him.

  Jealousy charges through me like a herd of wild horses.

  I have no claim on the man.

  He hasn’t been mine in five years.

  He can flirt with anyone, kiss anyone, fuck anyone.

  I scowl at the thought of him taking the server to his apartment and devouring her in his bed.

  He looks in my direction, his gaze catching mine.

  We haven’t had a chance to talk yet. He took over for Zeke when we first arrived and since there’s a baseball game on TV tonight, the bar is packed.

  I’ve been nursing my drinks and texting my mom. She still has no idea that Gage has popped back into my life.

  I was tempted to confront her and my dad about why they didn’t tell me that Gage reached out after our broken engagement, but it’s water under the bridge at this point.

  They did what they thought was best for me at the time. They were trying to help me navigate my grief in the best way they knew how.

  Gage approaches me with a white bar towel in his hands. “You have that look on your face.”

  I run my fingers over my top lip. “What look?”