I Think I Really Do Have an Ulcer

by Geoffrey Watson

  The fact that someone was lying on him with a very sharp point pressed into his throat after he had just come out of a deep sleep was much more persuasive than anything that had been hissed in his ear. The commander submitted almost silently to being gagged and trussed.

  He also co-operated as he was fitted into his breeches and tunic over his nightshirt. Dai Evans was not being considerate; the nightshirt was white and the breeches and tunic were dark blue. Dark blue was far less conspicuous in the dark.

  There were only three tents for senior officers. The troop commanders slept alongside their men, some distance away. The colonel was carried away slung over the shoulder of the strongest Hornet, with a ghostly escort before and behind.

  The groups of men moving up the valley away from the parked wagons were also almost invisible. They carried the entire stock of made-up canvas bags of powder. The French were really most inconsiderate about this. Most of the powder was still kept in the original kegs and they were far too heavy and awkward to be carried by one man without great difficulty and potential noise.

  Bungs were eased out and trails of powder were laid to kegs placed close to the wheels of guns, caissons and wagons, other than the magazine carts. Generous quantities of powder were spread about to ignite anything that would burn and short lengths of slow match pressed into it. All the fuses were lit and the Hornets retired, following the kidnap party back up the valley.

  Tonks was a fully subscribed member of the Welbeloved school of fair play. He did not believe in being considerate to people who were trying to kill him. He did not take to such people and top of his list were gunners who tried to kill him from great distances with little risk to themselves other than from other gunners.

  Unlike Welbeloved, he did play cricket whenever he had the opportunity and understood the ‘laws’ of the game and the reasons for them.

  It did not seem quite ‘cricket’ to blow up a large quantity of gunpowder without warning in the middle of a sleeping regiment, even if they were gunners.

  He had his men arrange the fuses so that the first to fire were the store wagons, dosed liberally with loose gunpowder. The Hornets had retreated to the top of the valley by the time these ignited. They were burning fiercely by the time the single kegs by the wheels exploded.

  It certainly aroused the camp and gave the awakened gunners time to decide whether to be courageous and rush to the rescue, or prudent and run for their lives. It was not a night for heroes or stupid idiots. Those that ran, lived. The rest mostly died when both powder wagons exploded together within a split second of each other.

  The horses, generally, had more sense. They had nearly all bolted up the valley when the individual kegs exploded. They provided an unexpected bonus for the Hornets, just as they were moving off, although they only had time to collect a couple of dozen.

  A short pause enabled them to transfer the bagged powder across their backs from the small wagon that the trussed prisoner was lying in. It could not have been a pleasant experience for him, being jolted about on a cargo of gunpowder, but he demonstrated no obvious gratitude when his uncomfortable mattress was draped over his regiment’s horses.

  Plans to walk their horses through the vanguard of the sleeping column were abandoned after they had observed the striking effects of their nocturnal exploits. The gunners were in no state to challenge them, but every other unit within a mile just had to be standing to, expecting they knew not what.

  Tonks led them south, across country and across the main road, up into the foothills of the sierra, before turning once more towards the west.

  Hamish MacKay was watching and waiting for them. Five miles away from the explosion, he had nevertheless heard it loud and clear and drawn his own conclusions. D Company passed through the picket line he had set up. Before Tonks had time to draw breath, he was on his way back to Lord Wellington’s headquarters with MacKay, the prisoner and an escort of 4 Platoon.

  MacKay reasoned that Welbeloved should not reach headquarters before morning with the other prisoners. It was an hour before dawn now and he calculated that a steady canter would enable them to join the others by ten o’clock. That would be well in time to compare the information gleaned from each prisoner.

  Not that their current prisoner was in the mood to give any information. Colonel Duclos was riding in the middle of an escort of Hornets commanded by Sergeant Major Evans. He was barefoot, with his blue breeches and tunic pulled over his nightshirt.

  He was also indulging himself in a monumental sulk, refusing to speak to anyone or co-operate in any way. As this included a refusal to give his parole, his horse had to be led by a rope halter attached to the saddle of one of the escort and his ankles had been roped loosely together beneath the belly of his mount.

  MacKay could appreciate his distress at having been taken from the middle of his command in such a rough and discourteous manner, but his complete refusal to communicate was becoming a trifle tedious. Then they met A and C Companies of the Vespãos under the command of Captain Dodds, on their way back to join up with Captain Cholmondeley to observe the French advance. MacKay had an idea.

  He walked his horse alongside the Frenchman and spoke as clearly as he could in his poor french. “Colonel Duclos, the soldiers we have just met belong to our Portuguese battalion. I intend to allow them to escort you for the rest of the way as you are so determined to remain mute.

  Every one of them has fought against your Army of Portugal and all of them have been witness to the revolting atrocities that your soldiers committed against the helpless people of their country. It is a matter of regret that they have this entirely deserved hatred of Frenchmen and Frenchmen in the Army of Portugal in particular, but I can no longer spare the time to show any interest in a captive who shall barely tell me his name.”

  It was patently obvious that Duclos understood as the colour drained from his face. He struggled not to. But speech was forced from him. “You cannot leave me in the hands of such people. Prisoners of war are not to be treated like that and anyway, I am not of the Army of Portugal. I am from the Army of the North under the command of General Dorsenne.”

  MacKay pounced. “But you are not a prisoner of war! You never surrendered. We stole you and you refuse to offer parole. And you are telling lies! It is Marshal Marmont who is advancing from Salamanca with the Army of Portugal!”

  Duclos collapsed. “I give you my parole! You have to believe that I have never been to Portugal. My general has detached a division from the Army of the North to help Marshal Marmont. He is here in person to observe and advise.”

  MacKay looked doubtful. “Why on earth should he want to do that?”

  “I don’t know. Perhaps it is because we have just had so many new recruits as reinforcements and he wants to give them some experience. Santocildes ran back into his mountains as soon as we were up to strength once more. We have to test our recruits as best we can.”

  It began to make sense. MacKay had been helping Santocildes to harry the Army of the North when it had been short of troops. He had always known that when the reinforcements arrived, Santocildes would have to retreat. It seemed as though that had now happened and what better way of giving his new troops some necessary experience than sending a few battalions to help Marmont relieve Ciudad Rodrigo. They could, at the same time catch the British and Portuguese relaxing, when they were suddenly to be faced with overwhelming numbers.

  He turned back to Duclos. “I am having the greatest difficulty in believing what you say, Colonel, but if you give your parole and promise to tell Lord Wellington what you have just told me, I shall escort you personally and give you my protection. My Vespãos; my Portuguese Frelons; can get on with killing Frenchmen who are carrying weapons.”

  He looked for his Hornet escort. “Come on, Captain Tonks! We have time to make up!”

  CHAPTER 5

  With his close attention to the details of everything that was happening in his theatre of responsibility, Lord Wellington had
been inspecting work being done to repair and renovate the fortress town of Almeida, before he would consider it safe to house the siege train of heavy cannon that had been shipped up the River Douro from Oporto.

  It was a difficult transit from the Douro to Almeida overland, but there was no desperate hurry, as speed was less important than secrecy. As far as anyone knew, the French were unaware of their approach. They were confident that the only guns within hundreds of miles, capable of breeching the walls of Ciudad Rodrigo were the ones that they themselves had used to take the town and had kept stored within the walls ever since.

  As far as anyone knew, could be a misleading phrase, when the extraordinary strength of the supposed French relief column was considered objectively. If Marmont had any suspicion that Wellington was capable of a serious assault on the town, he would want to have enough troops in and around Rodrigo to deter him.

  The overriding problem was that there was not enough food in the area to keep such forces there without a continuous replenishment from Salamanca and that was not really practicable for the French. If they suspected that siege cannon were at hand they would be seeking confrontation to drive Wellington away.

  Welbeloved had a strong feeling that this was not what the enemy would be anxious to do. True, they would have the advantage of many more troops, but then so did Masséna when he was nearby at Fuentes de Oñoro and there were plenty more good defensive positions along the frontier for Wellington to use.

  Perhaps, as Colonel Duclos had said, Dorsenne had so many raw recruits as reinforcements that he had bundled them all into a special division and detached them to Marshal Marmont to gain experience?

  Lord Wellington came back to his headquarters early in the afternoon and listened with rapt attention to the intelligence that was presented to him.

  “It should not be possible to say this, Sir Joshua, but I am beginning to feel overloaded with information. It is an uncomfortable situation when the enemy acts in what appears to be an irrational way.

  The answer to why he is doing so is not apparent and we move immediately from having too much intelligence to having too little. That way lies madness and we may well become as irrational as the French.

  You have known about this for twenty-four hours longer than I. Have you thought of any sensible explanation?”

  Welbeloved knew that the imminent arrival of the siege train was still unknown to most. He would have to be circumspect.

  “I had considered, My Lord, that the French may have been concerned that Rodrigo was under active siege and had resolved on a confrontation to prevent it. Then I rejected that theory as only the Hornets have a training and supply base at Oporto and I can think of no other reason why the enemy should feel threatened at this time.

  The least irrational explanation may be the one we squeezed out of Colonel Duclos. Perhaps General Dorsenne really does want to blood his new recruits?”

  Wellington frowned, but ignored the oblique reference to the siege train on the Douro. “That is the gunner who is complaining of inhuman treatment, is it not? What was that all about?”

  Welbeloved kept his face straight. “Perhaps it may be more appropriate if Colonel MacKay tells yew himself, My Lord.”

  A thin smile appeared on Wellington’s face. “MacKay indeed! Do step forward, Colonel and tell us how you have been upsetting our opponents this time.”

  MacKay contrived to appear guileless. “Colonel Duclos was nae a happy man, My Lord. I did hae every sympathy for him in his predicament. He had been treated very roughly by Sergeant Major Evans when he was abducted frae the middle o’ his regiment and then heard all his guns and wagons suffer frae the explosion o’ his gunpowder.

  He had every right tae feel put upon and refuse tae gie his parole or even speak tae us, but of course, that meant that he would nae be o’ much value as a source o’ intelligence.

  Sae I offered tae let him be escorted back here by a platoon o’ our Portuguese Hornets and he got this strange conviction that they would treat him ill, because of all the atrocities that the Army o’ Portugal had committed when they invaded.

  He was maist anxious tae convince us that he was frae the Army o’ the North and when we doubted his word, as I recall, he did claim that we were savages. He called us other things too, but he did then justify his claim by giving details o’ the division on loan tae Marmont frae the Army o’ the North, together wi’ Dorsenne himself.

  There are well over fifty thousand men in this relief column, My Lord. Twa thousand o’ those are heavy cavalry; dragoons and a few cuirassiers. Three thousand light cavalry, less the couple o’ squadrons that Major Gonçalves destroyed.”

  Wellington looked thoughtful. He turned again to Welbeloved. “How many Hornets were with you on this reconnaissance, Sir Joshua?”

  “Major Gonçalves had his full battalion in the foothills of the sierra. About four hundred and fifty men. Colonel MacKay had A and D Companies. That is two hundred and fifty men, My Lord.”

  “Seven hundred Hornets, Welbeloved! Yet they only destroyed two hundred cavalry and a hundred gunners. I have become accustomed to expect a far higher ratio of success from our fearsome fighters.”

  This heavy irony has to be the way he comes to terms with the frightening effectiveness of our new brigade, which he himself helped to create. Welbeloved kept the thought to himself and countered the irony. “Yew must forgive us in this case, My Lord. Had the French only advanced with a reasonable relief force, we would have honoured yor recommendation not to be too provocative and may not have engaged them at all. There would have been no need to take any prisoners.

  As it was, we needed information and having trained my men to be aggressive, they may have become a little over enthusiastic in getting it. I do, of course, accept full responsibility.”

  “As you are only too well aware, Welbeloved, no criticism was earned or intended. Come and have dinner this evening and you can tell me how your reorganisation is working out. In the meantime, please get as many men as you can spare out and reporting on the French. Try not to provoke them further, unless they demonstrate any intention of moving beyond Rodrigo.

  I shall put the Third and Light Divisions on the alert, ready to move away as necessary. Graham and Campbell, with the First and Sixth Divisions are now west and northwest of Rodrigo and can move into the hills on the frontier. Let your men know and get them to warn Craufurd and Picton if Marmont becomes impertinent.”

  * * *

  The First Division, commanded by General Graham and the Sixth Division, commanded by General Campbell had been encamped in the country to the west and northwest of Ciudad Rodrigo. They were both preoccupied with moving their winter quarters to the hill country on the border with Portugal.

  All the roads were clogged as ten thousand men uprooted themselves and moved to more defensible positions, fifteen miles to the west.

  MacKay had added Paul Davison’s company to those of Cholmondeley and Tonks. All three companies were picking their way against the flow of traffic, seeking to establish themselves in an arc about five miles out, between the road west to Fuentes de Oñoro and the road northwest in the direction of Almeida, over the frontier.

  Fernando Gonçalves, with his battalion of Vespãos, was making his way through the encampments of General Picton’s Third Division. The general had set up his winter quarters in the little town of El Bodón, about ten miles south of Rodrigo and his division was spread about the area in a rather haphazard way.

  Gonçalves had always been brought up to be deferential to very senior officers and he couldn’t bring himself to be openly critical of this very informal and relaxed attitude that he could see around him. Quite possibly, Picton had information that was denied to a mere major, but he did know that one of Lord Wellington’s aides had been sent to put Picton on the alert. He knew this because that aide had been young Pom Bal Li, now promoted captain and previously one of Gonçalves’s much valued lieutenants.

  The Vespãos left the vicinit
y of the encampment and spread out to look for good vantage points within five miles of Rodrigo. Towards the Rodrigo/Fuentes road they found companies of General Craufurd’s Light Division, also keeping close watch. As a matter of courtesy, Gonçalves sent Captain Richter to let him know that the Hornets were in position if he wished to retire to the frontier. Craufurd was known to be fluent in german and might appreciate the chance to practice his skills with Richter.

  By early afternoon, Marmont’s cavalry was flooding into position across the River Agueda, that flowed in a northwesterly direction past Ciudad Rodrigo. By late afternoon, when the first of the infantry appeared, the cavalry encampments stretched for fifteen miles or more along the western bank of the river and the infantry were left with the eastern bank and any spaces left between the cavalry camps.

  The Agueda was a substantial river that was fed by a multitude of streams from the sierras to the south and east. Torrential in winter, but waiting for the autumn rains at the present time and shallow enough to ford in many places.

  By the time MacKay rode in, shortly before dusk, to confer with Gonçalves, there were over twenty thousand men in bivouacs along the river and five thousand of them or more were cavalry.

  C Company came in at about the same time. Gonçalves had sent Captain da Silva along the foothills of the Sierra de Gata, as far as the juncture with the Sierra de la Peña de Francia. Da Silva reported that the whole area to the east of Rodrigo was swarming with troops, guns and wagons, certainly five divisions or more in number.

  “I dinnae ken what you make o’ all this, Fernando. It’s hard tae think if I’ve ever seen sae many cavalry gathered together before. There just hae tae be over five thousand and I would swear that they shall be commanded by at least twa generals. There are enough horsemen present for almost the entire complement o’ the Armies o’ Portugal and o’ the North put together.”