We Will Gain Our Fury

by Nicole Thorn

  Zander had the ability to charm. All it took was his voice and he could get you to do anything he wanted. He didn’t really use it. He didn’t like making people do things. He preferred convincing them the old fashioned way.

  I was something else. My mother was the goddess of agriculture. I could control plants. Make them grow, die. I didn’t like killing them. It didn’t hurt, but it upset Mom.

  Anyway, back to the rest of it. Without fathers to keep us, we were left orphaned. Not god enough for Olympus and not human enough to fit with fathers. So Zander and I were put into the system. We were given to them with false papers that said we were siblings. Twins. Kezia and Zander Dovetree. Because our moms were clever…

  We spent most of our eighteen years in an orphanage. On occasion, we would get separated and stuck in foster homes. When we were very little and someone was checking us out for adoption, we would get into trouble just to try and get them to move on. We didn’t want to be parted. We were the only ones that knew what we were. We needed each other.

  Our moms visited us when they could, but it was rare. They weren’t really supposed to see us. But they told the others to fuck off when they wanted to break the rules. Don’t tell a god what to do.

  “Just a couple hours,” Zander begged again. “I’m nothing without my Gal Friday.”

  “No,” I said again.

  I didn’t like going out. I liked staying in a safe and quiet apartment. People were not nice. Especially to me. They made me nervous. When I got nervous, Zander got protective. People got hurt.

  “Fine,” he caved. “No party. But you’re buying me candy.”

  “Fine,” I smiled and handed over the rest of my cocoa. He drank it happily.

  I went to my room to change into actual clothes. I threw on a pair of jeans, my boots and a sweater over my shirt. It was baggy, just how I like it. My body was… very developed. And I didn’t like that. I did my best to cover it up now. I wasn’t always like that and it got me into trouble. Lots of trouble.

  After I got out of my most recent foster house, at thirteen, Zander and I were in an orphanage for troubled children. Our mothers thought it would protect us. It did better than the foster house. But I started stealing Zander’s clothes and wearing his shirts. He’d always been huge, so the sweaters covered me. I tried taping my chest down, but Zander found out and freaked. I started scaring him so much that he was getting twitchy. So I stopped that. His mom came down to talk to me for that one.

  I looked at myself in the mirror and ran my fingers though my hair, trying to comb it. It was strawberry blonde, but it almost looked pink. It was long and wavy, so I tied it up in a bun. My hazel eyes looked dull. The little flecks of brown were almost consumed by bright green. It made me feel inhuman. I guess I was.

  I caught Zander in the mirror as he walked up. “Is it one of those days, honey?”

  I shook my head, saying no to our code. He knew that sometimes, seemingly for no reason, everything crushed me. Sometimes I didn’t eat. Or leave my bed. He never tried to make me. He just took care of me until the memories stopped burning me.

  “Let’s go,” I said, already walking. I heard Zander grab his keys before we were out the door.

  Our moms weren’t allowed to interfere, but it didn’t always stop them. Zander’s mother had some connections, so she managed to get us an apartment that we didn’t have to pay for. And a car that we got for our eighteenth birthday a couple weeks ago. Our moms gave us some money to live off of ‘til we got on our feet, since we were homeless as of our birthday. They wouldn’t let that stand.

  Zander and I slipped into the Mustang and he turned it on. “So, where shall you be buying my candy?”

  “You want quality or quantity?”

  “I want a sugar coma.”

  “Walmart.”

  He started driving and I stared out the window. Leaves were falling and it was beautiful. It was early October and it was my favorite time a year, other than early May. I liked the end of the rainiest season and the start of the flowers and I liked watching the leaves wither.

  I watched the world pass us by and I let my mind go somewhere else. I slipped into daydreams of a false life. Ones where I was normal. Ones where Zander was my real brother and we had kind parents that never let harm come to us. Ones that kept the clouds away.

  Music filled the air. It was a little older, but I liked that the best. My mouth moved, but the words didn’t come out. My eyes closed and Zander turned the song up. The side of my head was on the cool glass and I felt myself start singing.

  Zander was always kind enough to let me live in my head, as long as he didn’t think I was freaking out. Then he went into protective mode. That was almost scary. Scary because of what it did to him. How much I hurt him just with my own hurting.

  I sang quietly enough that it couldn’t be heard. Then we were parking.

  I blinked and kept my eyes open. Zander gave me a pat on the shoulder and we got out of the car. His arm went around my shoulder with ease. It helped that I was five ten.

  Zander nearly dragged me to the candy aisle, riding a cart into the store. I hoped he understood that his budget was ten bucks. I dug my hands into my pockets and walked after him.

  I stood awkwardly in the row, watching Zander talk himself into and out of choices.

  Someone tapped me on the shoulder and I almost jumped a mile. I turned and a boy was standing there. He looked around my age. He was smiling and holding a bag of candy in either hand.

  “Sorry,” he smiled. “Didn’t mean to spook you. I was just hoping you could help me with something.”

  I swallowed. “Um, sure…”

  He held up the candy. “I wanted to get your opinion on what might be better. I figured you would know.” He nodded to my filling cart. Zander noticed the boy and eyed him. He quieted down, keeping an eye on the situation.

  I pointed to his left hand. “I like the peanut butter cups.”

  He put the other bag away. “Thanks.” He waited a moment. “Do you go to Bluevale Community College? You look familiar.”

  I shook my head.

  “Oh. Well,” he cleared his throat. “That’s a shame. I was hoping to see you around.”

  “Sorry.”

  “Maybe I’ll see you anyway. Like tonight. There’s this party a couple of my friends are throwing. Maybe we can share these.” He flashed the candy again.

  “Um, I don’t really like parties. Too loud.”

  He nodded. “Fair enough. Thanks again.” He smiled before he left.

  Zander tapped my arm. “What the hell, sweetie pie?”

  “Huh?”

  His blonde eyebrow went up. “That very nice boy was flirting with you and you turned him down cold.”

  Was that what was happening? “So?”

  He sighed and pinched his brow. “Kizzy, you can’t keep doing this. You need to try and have a life.”

  “Says who?”

  “Says nature.”

  My arms crossed. “You know more about nature than I do now?”

  “No, but I know a hell of a lot more about emotions than you do. This isn’t healthy, sweetie. I love you so much and you just keep shutting life out. It’s time.”

  I took a step back. “It’s not time for anything.”

  “Please,” he said, broken for me. “I want you to get better.”

  My eyes stung. “I can’t get better.”

  “You can. But you need to want it first. You need to want it more than I want it for you. It’s not something you just get. You have to earn it. I know that’s awful, but it’s true.”

  “I have nothing to earn. Nothing to gain from this but more hurt. Just leave me be.”

  “Never.”

  I started walking and Zander followed behind me with his cart. He caught up and walked at my side. He bumped me with his hip to make sure I wasn’t mad at him. I was never mad at him. All he wanted was for me to heal. If only.

  I was looking back at Zander when I bumped
into someone. An old woman. I felt horrible instantly. “I’m so, so, so sorry,” I said, making sure she was okay. “I wasn’t paying attention.”

  “No, you weren’t.” She glared up at me. Then she looked to Zander. The glare deepened, but he didn’t do anything as she scowled. Then she smiled. “Have a nice day.” She was gone before I knew what happened.

  We shook her off and kept going. Zander went over my candy budget by ten dollars, but I let it go. It was in two bags and I carried both of them. It was only so Zander wouldn’t eat and walk at the same time.

  We got outside and the wind was biting. I blinked at it and we went on. The car was on the other end of the lot, in a mess of other cars from the other stores around. There was a flower shop I was quite fond of—

  Something blurry smacked into Zander’s chest and made an ‘oomph’ sound as it went down. Upon further glance, it looked like a person. A girl.

  “She’s safe!” The girl thrust a hand up, clutching a brown bag with what smelled like beer inside. It was not even noon…

  “Whoa.” Zander hauled the girl up and held her hips, making sure she didn’t fall. She was quite woozy. “You okay, baby?”

  She blinked with mismatched eyes. “Yeeah, s’all good. Just trying to catch my movie. Where is it?”

  Zander arched a brow. “The theater is six miles away. Are you alone?”

  “Aren’t we all,” she said in a very deep voice.

  He nodded. “Sure. I meant, did someone drive you here? How did you get here?”

  “Um.” She bit her lip. “I can’t remember. Maybe a bus. Maybe a phoenix.”

  “In Seattle?” He snorted. “Silly.”

  I sighed. “We’re bringing her home, aren’t we?”

  Zander looked back. “I’m not leaving her here. Someone might hurt her.”

  “I CANNOT BE HARMED!” The girl growled. “FOR I AM OMNISSASANT!”

  Okay… that’s not a word.

  “Omnipotent?” Zander asked.

  “YES!” She smacked his shoulder. “I am Zuul.”

  He lifted her up and she squeaked. “Okay, Zuul, I’m taking you home.”

  She hung over his shoulder and bounced. “You have a nice butt.”

  “Thank you,” he said, reaching our car. He set her in the backseat. “What’s your real name, baby?”

  “Jasmine.” She smiled. “Like the princess and the flower. Do you like flowers?”

  Zander smiled back. “Sure. So does my sis over here.” He pointed. “She’s Kizzy. I’m Zander.”

  “Defender of the people,” the girl slurred. “I like that name. Lots.”

  Zander buckled her up and took her can of beer, setting it in the trash by the car.

  “Aww.” She pouted.

  “Would candy make you feel better?”

  She nodded. He took a handful from me and gave it to Jasmine. She seemed happy. Happy enough to get an address out of her.

  We got in the car and I looked at my Good Samaritan brother. I loved him for his kindness, but someone might be freaking out about their kidnapped girlfriend right about now.

  The car moved and the girl groaned behind us before she laid down. “Too much…”

  “Don’t throw up,” I pleaded. “That would suck.”

  She waved her hand. “What, me? Never!”

  I didn’t believe her. At all.

  Zander drove slowly for her, soothing her with words the whole way. Promising more candy if she didn’t throw up. She seemed like she was falling asleep back there. I let her, looking forward and giving up.

  We got to the house she told us about. It matched the drunken description she gave us, so odds are we were at the right place.

  Zander went around the car and scooped up the girl, cradling her in his arms. She was sleepily eating a Snickers. Her head rested against his chest and she yawned.

  We walked up and I had to ring the bell. I waited with my hands in my pockets and stared at Zander. He was smiling, waiting.

  The door opened and a girl that looked very much like the one that was limp in Zander’s arms. All but her eyes. One grey, one brown instead of blue. Huh.

  “Is this yours?” I asked as Zander lifted up the girl, smiling and presenting her like a gift.

  The girl in the door’s eyes widened. “Yes. Is she okay?”

  “Just sleepy. Is there a place I can put her?”

  The girl opened the door, letting us in. “Careful. Mud.”

  We checked our shoes and went inside the very orderly house. It looked too clean. Maybe I thought that because I lived with Zander. He wasn’t much for order.

  Zander laid the girl on the couch and she smiled up at him. “Thank you for the candy, sir. One day, I shall repay you. I owe you my life and a Snickers.”

  “And a dollars’ worth of gas, but who’s counting?”

  “Um,” the other girl said. “What happened?”

  “First.” Zander stood. “I am Zander, king of the lizard people. This is my little sister, Kizzy. She isn’t into lizards.”

  The girl was not amused. “Juniper. What happened to my sister?”

  Zander recounted the tale with unnecessary dramatics added to it. I stood away from him and his flailing arms. I just stood with my arms crossed.

  “What’s going on?” a person said at my side.

  My heart almost exploded and I flinched. “Christ.” My hand went to my chest.

  “Oh, sorry,” the guy said.

  There was a boy at my side. He looked like the girls, all but one eye. Green, the other gray. Uh oh.

  “Zan,” I cleared my throat. When he looked over, I waited for him to notice. He did. Seers. We knew that. How the fuck did we run into the Seers? Three in the world and we lived a few miles away? How was that possible?

  “Really sorry,” the boy said. “Didn’t mean to scare you. I’m Jasper.” He held a hand out.

  I hated touching. Really. Hated. Touching. But I was in his home and I didn’t want to be rude, so I took it. “Kezia,” I said.

  “Oops,” he said, looking at his hand when we parted. “Forgot I was still covered in clay. You need a napkin?”

  “Don’t waste the paper.” I wiped it on my pants. “Pants are nature’s napkin.”

  He smiled politely.

  At second glance, I should have seen how much clay he was covered in. His shirt and pants were stained and there was a little bit on his cheek. His hair was clear, oddly enough.

  Jasmine pointed to Zander. “He gave me candy and it was wonderful.”

  Juniper shook her head. “You not only took candy from a stranger, but you got in his car. How have you lived this long?”

  “She’s omnipotent,” Zander said. I snorted.

  Jasmine pointed at him. “I like you, fella. We should share a popcorn sometime.”

  “Well, there’s this party…”

  “No,” I growled. “No to the party, for God’s sake.”

  He rolled his eyes. “Boring, you are. We have three new friends and you don’t want to play with them.”

  My eyes narrowed and I thought about manipulating the flora in his body. I wasn’t that mean. I’d just rot an apple after he bit it.

  “Get that mischievous look out of your eyes, honey.” He smiled. “You know I always win.”

  “Wanna start doing your own laundry?”

  He frowned. “You make my sheets come out so soft…”

  The boy beside me coughed. “So, what exactly happened? And why is my sister being brought home by strangers?”

  I turned my head to him. “Your sister was running around a parking lot and my brother found her. He thought he’d be nice and make sure she wasn’t kidnapped by ninjas or whatever the fuck is kidnapping people these days.”

  “Turtles, so I heard,” Zander added.

  I shrugged. “They come with portable dungeons. Don’t trust ‘em.”

  Jasper cut in. “How does one get trapped in a turtle dungeon, if I may ask? They seem small.”

  �
��Well,” I started. “First they stop you and ask if you can help find their kitten.”

  “That’s enough,” Juniper cut me off. “I just want to know if my sister is okay.”

  “She is,” Zander promised. “Maybe a little sleepy.”

  Ah, good excuse, right there for me to take. “Zan, I’m actually kinda sleepy too. We should head out.”

  Oh, the look he gave me…

  3: Look See

  Jasper

  Jasmine was hanging off the edge of the couch, moaning. “Never… again…”

  “Never again, what?” Juniper asked, leaning down to get closer to our sister’s face. “Never again will you drink, never again will you wander around drunk, never again will you get in a stranger’s car and eat his candy, never again will you let said stranger into our house without wondering if perhaps he’s some kind of psycho killer. Never again, what?”

  Jasmine glared at Juniper. The similar faces very close together while the glaring went down. Meanwhile, I was returning from the kitchen with the paper plates. Jasmine had decided that the best cure for her hangover was greasy fast food. Not sure why she decided this, but far be it from me to object. Of course, now I had to eat a burger and I wasn’t hungry at all.

  I set the plates down.

  “Never again will I drink beer that early in the morning,” Jasmine said. “There’s something very sad about having a hangover at noon.” She pouted, crossing her arms over her chest. “The two of you should be more sympathetic. I’m your sister. Your triplet. Does that mean nothing to you?”

  I shrugged. “You’re alive and mostly well. The fact that you got in this condition because you make bad decisions affects me very little. Now take your plate and stop complaining.”

  Jasmine stuck her tongue out at me, but took the plate. She balanced it on her lap and then looked at Juniper. “What about you? Do I get no love from you? You’re my sister. You’re supposed to be there for me no matter what.”

  “I shall be there. Right behind you, telling you everything you did wrong and complaining that you should be smarter after sharing a womb with me for so long. Then I will hit the stranger that definitely stalked you whenever he gets close enough to ask for more candy. Because that is what sisters do when their sister is being stupid.”