Promise Me Forever (Sweet Beginnings Book 3)

by Maggie Dallen

  Everything inside him said that nothing would be the same. Just like the first time she’d kissed him, this last kiss had changed everything.

  Unlike that last time, this time he wasn’t certain he could go back to being her friend. He shook off the thought. Of course he could. If that was what she needed, he’d do it.

  He just had no idea idea how.

  He managed to return to Twilight without a lot of fuss. It helped that Dax and the other guys were out on the range when he returned, and Katy and Hannah were at one of the guest homes doing crisis management.

  He dove right back into his chores, hoping that the habitual movements would keep his hands and head busy.

  His hands? Yes. His head...not even hard work could make his brain stop replaying that kiss. Or worse, he found himself hashing out over and over all the things he’d meant to say. The thing he ought to have said, but then again…

  Forget about it.

  Her voice came back to him and made him wince.

  Forget about it. Like that kiss had been a silly accident. Like he’d just stepped on her toes or bumped into her in that small kitchen.

  Forget about it? How on earth was he supposed to forget about it?

  A voice behind him dragged him out of his thoughts. “Oops, sorry. I didn’t realize anyone was in here.”

  He turned to find a stranger in the area behind his small cabin where he was chopping wood. A startlingly striking brunette with long hair and big blue eyes.

  “Katy said I should just make myself at home on the property but I didn’t mean to intrude—”

  “You’re not intruding,” he said, brushing some of the wood chips from his jeans before sticking out a hand. “You must be Hannah.”

  She gave him a rueful smile as she shook his hand. “And you must be the beloved James.”

  “Beloved, huh?”

  “Oh, yeah. I’ve heard all about you,” she said, a smile brightening her features, though it was plain to see the shadows beneath her eyes. “And Alice,” she said, her smile widening. “Is she back, too? I hear I have her to thank for my cover story at the gala last week.”

  “She’s not back yet, but she’ll be here soon.”

  “I can’t wait to meet her,” Hannah said. “She sounds lovely.”

  “She is.”

  Ugh, was that his voice? He sounded like he’d never spoken before in his life. He scratched the back of his neck. It had been ages since he’d exchanged more than pleasantries with anyone who wasn’t a Deckland.

  It had been longer than that since he’d had any sort of lengthy conversation with anyone who wasn't Alice.

  He must have lost all his social graces at some point in time.

  As if you ever had any to start.

  It was Alice’s teasing voice in his head and he winced. She was haunting him, plain and simple. If he were a smart, rational man he’d be anxious for her to get to the ranch and then leave already so he could get used to life without her.

  Forget about it.

  He huffed.

  Yeah, because that would happen.

  “I’m glad I ran into you,” Hannah said. “I’ve been meaning to apologize for all the trouble I caused by running off like that.”

  He shook his head. “No trouble.”

  Her smile was kind but called him a liar. “Yeah, well, I appreciate all the lengths you and everyone at this ranch are going through to help me out.”

  “Katy is good people,” he said. “And she has good friends. We’re happy to help any way we can.”

  Hannah nodded. “Katy is the best. And she always did have good taste—in everything from fine china to people. It shouldn’t surprise me that she met a great guy like Dax and found herself surrounded by good friends.”

  He scratched at the back of his neck again, not wanting to be rude but also...he didn’t talk this much to anyone.

  Well, except Alice.

  “The people here will take good care of you,” he said.

  She nodded and started to turn away. Then she turned back, her gaze roaming over the sprawling countryside that surrounded his small house. “You’re really lucky, you know. You have such a great home.”

  Home.

  There was that word again.

  His chest ached as he forced a smile. He was lucky, He knew that. His conversations with Alice had made him realize it and her words brought the lesson home with a jolt. He was amazingly blessed to have found a home here among people who loved him. People he loved in turn.

  This was his home and had been since he was a teen. As he stood beside this stranger, he took in the land that he took such pride in and the homestead in the distance where he spent so many holidays and special occasions.

  This place was home. It would always be home. Just like it was Alice’s home and always would be.

  But that wouldn’t stop her from living her life as she saw fit. From traveling and having adventures and forging her own life and career.

  Looking out at the seemingly never-ending range and the mountains that loomed large in the distance, he got that jolt of awe, that inspired feeling he’d had at the beach with Alice. That feeling like the world was huge and his for the taking. That anything was possible in this mysterious, blessed, awe-inspiring world.

  Maybe that sensation was what had led him to kiss her. Because for a moment there, it had felt possible.

  “You really are lucky,” Hannah said with a sigh. “Belonging to a place like this.”

  He gave her what he hoped was an understanding smile. He knew how it felt to not feel like you belonged. He’d felt it himself for far too many years.

  But he’d been wrong.

  And Alice had been right.

  He’d been hiding behind his excuses so he wouldn’t have to leave, so he wouldn’t have to try, so he wouldn’t lose the one person who meant the most to him in this world. He’d stayed here because this was where Alice was. It was home, yes, but what truly made it home was Alice. It had always been Alice.

  And now she was leaving and he was staying and….it was wrong.

  It was wrong.

  This place wasn’t the same without her. She was what truly made it home. She’d said it the other day but only now was he truly getting what she’d meant.

  She was his home.

  “There you are!” Katy’s voice reached them from the far side of the house and he and Hannah looked over to see her riding up along with Dax and Cole.

  “James, good to have you back, brother,” Cole said with a grin when they’d dismounted.

  Dax’s greeting was a slap on the back but it got across the same message. They were glad to have him back.

  Katy looked from him to Hannah and back again. “So, I guess we just stumbled upon the broken hearts club headquarters, huh, guys?”

  Hannah rolled her eyes but she wore a little smile. He looked away.

  She didn’t mean him. She couldn’t mean him.

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” Dax asked.

  Katy gestured to Hannah. “We’ve got the cover model for heartbreak weekly over on this side, and over here we have…” She let her hand fall and she dropped the teasing tone as she turned to the Deckland brothers to spell it out. “Well, I’m sure you’re both aware that Alice didn’t come back with James.”

  Dax frowned. “That’s because she opted to fly.”

  “Uh huh.” Katy sounded unimpressed with his intellect.

  Cole was scowling now, too. “She had some work to do but she’ll be back. She knows we need her here this week.”

  “Yeah, of course she does but…” Katy glanced in James’s direction and whatever she saw on his face had her dropping it. “Um, you know what? Never mind.”

  That was basically a prod to Dax’s ego. “No, wait a second. Explain what you meant. What’s the big deal about her choosing to fly rather than drive with James?”

  Cole and Dax were facing him now, questions in their eyes.

  “You people and your st
ubborn blindness,” Katy mumbled as she wrapped an arm around Hannah and led her away, the actress outright giggling at the scene they were leaving behind.

  Two stunned men and one humiliated cowboy.

  “What is she talking about, James?” Dax asked.

  James heaved a sigh. There was no denying it anymore, not to himself, at least. So what did it matter if her brothers knew?

  He loved these guys and was grateful to the whole family for giving him a home, but after that kiss, after every realization that came with it…

  There was no denying it anymore, and there was no hiding from it.

  He loved Alice. And he needed her to know it. If there was any chance at all that she might share any feelings for him, he owed it to them both to try.

  He’d meant to tell her how he felt the other night but she’d cut him off, not giving him the chance.

  She didn’t want to hear it.

  She didn’t want to hear that he was in love with her...but that didn’t mean he didn’t need to say it. For his own sanity and for the sake of his heart.

  He’d never kept secrets from Alice, and this one would surely eat him alive.

  “James, is there something we should know about you and Alice?” Cole asked.

  He stared down at the ground, trying to gather his thoughts, attempting to put those thoughts into words. When he glanced back up he saw the two brothers exchanging a look and he wasn’t certain but he thought maybe… “Are you two laughing at me right now?”

  “No, no. Definitely not,” Dax said. “But I don’t think either of us have ever seen you looking so…”

  “On edge,” Cole finished when Dax trailed off.

  “You’re supposed to be the laid back one but right now you’re in serious danger of scaring off all the livestock with that scowl,” Dax said.

  “Not to mention the new guest.” Cole nodded toward Hannah.

  “So what’s going on? Did something happen between you and Alice?” Dax frowned and crossed his arms. “She’s all right, isn’t she?”

  Forget about it.

  “She’s fine. She’s great.” He hadn’t exactly intended to sound bitter but his hard voice betrayed him.

  “So, is there a reason she’s flying rather than choosing to be alone with you for eighteen hours straight?” Cole asked.

  He kicked at the dirt. Much as he might have liked to lie, he couldn’t. Not to his two closest friends.

  And there had been a reason she hadn’t wanted to be around him. He just wasn’t entirely certain what it was.

  She’d reacted to his kiss. She had to have felt it too, the way their bodies responded as though they’d been made for each other. The way that it felt like heaven when she was in his arms.

  She had to have felt it.

  Forget about it.

  Right?

  He kicked at the dirt some more, finding an odd satisfaction in the cloud of dust that swirled at his feet, in keeping with the murky mess in his brain.

  She had to have felt it. She had to have felt something. If she hadn’t…

  He looked up to find Dax and Cole eyeing him oddly.

  If she hadn’t then she wouldn’t have pushed him to leave without her. She wouldn’t have acted so cagey when they’d first returned to the apartment.

  If she’d truly felt nothing, she would have made a joke and laughed it off.

  Right?

  His heart rate picked up along with the breeze. So maybe she had felt something.

  Maybe she felt more than she would have liked.

  Now hope was flickering and flaring, and if he wasn’t careful it might just rage out of control.

  So what if it does?

  There was Alice’s voice again, but this time it wasn’t her rejection he heard but her strength. The girl was fearless. Always had been.

  If she’d felt something for him, she would have said so. But then again...she had. Five years ago. And he’d pushed her away.

  Regret mixed with hope until his insides felt like they were being torn in two.

  “There it is.”

  James looked up to see Dax pointing a finger in his face.

  Cole nodded, his expression thoughtful. “Yup. I see it now. No doubt about it.”

  “What are you guys talking about?”

  They exchanged a look and Dax turned to eye him. “Are you in love with our little sister?”

  Yes! The answer was so obvious, it nearly burst right out of him. Yes. He had been for years. He’d been a fool to think he could ever keep it hidden, most of all from her.

  She was the one person who knew him best. Didn’t she deserve to know this?

  He looked from one to the other but he couldn’t gauge their reactions. He loved her. He loved her and he didn’t care who knew it…

  But it would be unfair to tell them before he told her.

  This was her life. Her business. He knew how much she valued that privacy. So he crossed his arms and muttered, “It’s complicated.”

  Cole’s head tipped back with a laugh and even Dax looked like he was fighting a grin.

  “Well, I guess it’s about time you two realized you were perfect for each other,” Cole said.

  Dax started to laugh. “Leave it to Katy to spot what was right under our noses.”

  Cole was grinning. “It was so obvious now that I think about it. I mean…” He turned to Dax. “They’re perfect together.”

  “Like two peas in a pod.”

  “I was thinking more like yin and yang, but yeah, same difference,” Cole said.

  James stared at them aghast. “You...you’re…” He gave his head a shake and ran a hand through his hair. “You’re okay with it?”

  They both widened their eyes in disbelief. “Why wouldn’t we be?” Dax asked.

  No, he demanded. He looked almost insulted by the question.

  Cole looked confused. “As long as you’re what makes Alice happy, we’re happy.”

  That was all he wanted too. That was what he wanted more than anything in the world—to make Alice happy. To be there with her when she succeeded and comfort her when she stumbled. To take her to the beach for picnics and go on long car rides together and...heck, he’d even go to more fancy cocktail parties just so long as he was the one she looked for at the end of the night.

  Just so long as he got to take her home.

  “Honestly,” Dax said, his tone thoughtful. “It makes sense the more I think about it. You’ve always understood Alice and she’s always felt more comfortable talking to you than anyone else.”

  “I always thought it was because you two were such good friends, but…” Cole tilted his head to the side like he was reevaluating the past decade now that he knew James was in love with Alice. “Yup. I see it now.”

  “Yeah well…” He looked away in discomfort. “There may not be much to see. Like I said, things are complicated.”

  Dax laughed softly and clapped a hand on his shoulder. “Brother, when it comes to love, they usually are.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  Five years ago Alice had drowned her emotions in ice cream and sappy tearjerkers.

  This time?

  Nosirree.

  Was her heart broken? Yes. Yes, it was. But no one would ever know. Not if she had anything to say about it.

  “So, are you going to tell me what’s wrong with you or am I going to have to pry it out of you.” Liam reached for the salt and she took a bite of her burger.

  Taking a bite of a burger was an excellent avoidance technique. She made a mental note to use that next time Dax tried to wrangle her into helping with the books at the ranch.

  Unfortunately, Liam was not fooled. The handsome blond stared at her with a small expectant smile like...like he was on to her.

  Well, crap.

  She leaned back as she swallowed her last bite. “Prying, if you please.”

  He grinned. He had a nice smile, a fact she could acknowledge in her brain, but no amount of telling herself how hands
ome and smart and nice he’d turned out to be could change the fact that her heart did nothing—zero, zilch, nada—when that grin was aimed in her direction.

  All it did was make her think of a certain easy, slow lopsided smile that she feared would be haunting her until she died.

  You know, not to be too melodramatic about it or anything.

  “You know, I realize it’s none of my business…” he said slowly.

  She arched a brow. “What? You mean therapy isn’t part of the tour guide business?”

  He laughed and spread his arms wide. “It’s all part of the package here at Liam’s Tour Services.”

  Her laugh sounded choked and a little too sad for her liking. James had left at the crack of dawn after their utterly uneventful dinner. At least she’d stopped him before he could say ‘it’s not you, it’s me,’ but the next day in that lonely, quiet apartment, not even avoiding that outright rejection could help.

  And along had come Liam. Turned out he was in a similar boat. Biding his time and finishing up any crucial local business before heading to Twilight for his star client. His flight was booked the day after hers and he’d suggested that in the meantime he play tour guide.

  They’d had fun.

  Lots of fun, actually, when she forgot to be miserable. But it was a friendly kind of fun. Much to her dismay, there was no pull here, no heart racing or butterflies in her belly, just...fun.

  Which was nice. But not exactly heartwarming.

  “So,” he said. “At what point are you going to tell me where you go off to when your eyes get all cloudy and sad like that?”

  “I’m not—”

  “You are,” he said. “You have been ever since a certain cowboy took off to the heartland.”

  She tried to swallow but it was a struggle.

  “You have it bad for the guy, huh?”

  She opened her mouth to deny it, but couldn’t. She just wasn’t that good of a liar.

  “Would it be too trite to say his loss?” he asked.

  She glanced up to see warmth and affection in his eyes. “No, it wouldn’t be trite.” She started to smile. “It would be true.”

  His laugh made her laugh as well. “That’s my girl.”