Once and Forever

by Constance O'Day-Flannery

  His mate throughout eternity.

  At the same moment, as his own eyes filled with emotion, they spoke for the first time on this part of the adventure, saying the same words, asking the same question.…

  “Is it you?”

  He held out the rose.

  Somewhere, in all the surrounding chaos, Aiden Harley swore he heard an impish, childish giggle.

  Epilogue

  She had never been so happy. It was finally her turn, and she didn’t take it for granted. Grateful for every miracle in her life, she realized she had never felt more whole, complete… peaceful.

  Holding that last thought, of peace, she finally surrendered to the sweetness of the dark and allowed herself to drift into sleep. She wasn’t aware of anything for some time and then suddenly she was walking, through a mist, hand in hand with the little girl from the faire. It seemed natural, serene, and she enjoyed the sensation as the dream grew in clarity. They were walking toward a room, lit in the most beautiful soft white gold. The little girl was laughing, delighted with herself and the direction they were heading. Maggie went along willingly, since the child really was irresistible, and she sensed those in the room were happy she was coming. She felt welcomed.

  She halted when she realized there was no room, just pockets of people… laughing, communicating with great intensity of pleasure, though no one was actually speaking or opening their mouths. Its was as though everyone could hear everyone else’s thoughts. It was surreal and, like most dreams, anything was possible… Besides, it felt so good she wanted to proceed.

  Focusing more attention, she was stunned to make out Aunt Edithe in a group with Lord Robert, congratulating him on his excellent performance. And there was Malcolm, patting the back of the man who killed Nicholas. Montague! Elthea was beaming at Maggie’s ex-husband! There was her mother laughing and shaking her head and holding on to Gwen’s arm. Her favorite teacher from third grade was talking to the doctor who stitched up her arm when she was twelve. There was Evan, grinning with pleasure at Seamus. So many…

  The place was packed!

  Confused, Maggie felt her attention drawn to a solitary figure, a man dressed in a Renaissance costume. He looked familiar, yet she couldn’t place him. Suddenly, the name came, as though he allowed it in her mind.

  Sir Francis Bacon.

  The greatest writer in history nodded to her in recognition, as though she had earned the right to discover him in the party of her life, and all its players. She was showered with recognition as the author of her own adventure and Maggie knew she was dreaming, yet no dream had ever been this clear, this incredible. Nor had one ever felt this good! As she looked once more around her, she saw in an instant how everyone, and everything that took place in her life had served her in some way, even those things that were painful. Filled with instantaneous understanding, she knew she could never really put it into words. It was just a flash of seeing how all the puzzle pieces of her life fit together and made sense.

  Feeling a tug, Maggie looked down to the beaming face of the adorable child who was still at her side. The rosebud wreath encircled ringlets of shining blond curls. She smiled into the little girl’s eyes and suddenly heard her excited thought….

  I’m going to be born soon. This is my party, too!

  Maggie felt joy for the child and finally learned her name. Carolyn. There was another mystery solved. She was about to ask the child why she had helped her in the maze when, suddenly, from behind her she felt fear creeping up and tapping her on the shoulder.

  Where were Nick and Aiden?

  Any sense of this being a dream vanished.

  She had seen Titanic! Holy shit, was she dead?

  This was not fair… if she was the author of her life, this would make such a lousy ending! She wanted to protest, but saw all the characters who played roles in her life fading. Fear increased, and there was a moment of terrifying darkness where she didn’t know what was real. Gasping, she bolted upright in bed and clutched the sheet to her chest while desperately trying to find sanity again.

  It was then she felt his gentle touch on the middle of her back.

  “Shh, it’s okay. The nightmare returned?” he asked in a sleepy voice and slowly sat up next to her. Continuing to stroke her back in soothing circles, he added, “It’s been a long time since you had it.”

  She looked at him in the moonlight and her thundering heart began to slow down. “It wasn’t the nightmare. I haven’t had it in… in over a year. This was… it was different, Aiden.”

  He pulled her into his arms and slowly lay back down, taking her with him. “Tell me about it, love.”

  Curling into his arms, she wrapped hers around his waist and wound her leg through his, pulling his thigh closer to her for grounding. “It started out so great. The little girl from the maze was holding my hand and she led me into this… gathering of people.” She sighed, trying to remember and to tell it before she lost it, like so many of her dreams.

  He continued to stroke her in silence, running his hands down her bare arm ever so slightly, soothing and supporting her.

  She snuggled into his chest. “Everyone was there. Aunt Edithe and Malcolm. Elthea and Evan. My mother and my ex were laughing together. Sheesh, that was weird.”

  She felt him chuckle as she went on… “And so was Robert and that assassin, along with Joe, my old boss. Even Seamus. So many I can’t remember them all now.”

  “Seamus, huh?” Aiden asked, and Maggie could imagine his grin. Seamus now worked for Aiden.

  She continued to explain it as best she could remember, especially the part about Sir Francis Bacon, not wanting to leave out important details for she felt it was an extraordinary dream. Aiden stopped her when she said she could see how it all had served her.

  “And what did you learn?” he asked softly, brushing the hair back from her face.

  She thought for a moment. “That I can’t so easily judge anything anymore. Some of the hurtful ones were there to challenge me, I guess. Maybe to show me not to give away my power so damn easily.”

  “Was that what frightened you?”

  “Ohhhh,” she murmured and then chuckled. “Wait till you hear this. It suddenly dawned on me that you aren’t there. And neither is… well, Nick, and I got so scared. I thought I had died and it was like the movie Titanic, or something. Remember that scene at the end where everyone is applauding her and—”

  His laughter interrupted her, and she couldn’t help smiling. It was pretty ridiculous.

  “Oh, Maggie… the way your mind sometimes works,” he breathed in appreciation and kissed the top of her head. “I’m sorry you had such a fear.”

  She nodded, seeing the dream now in a new light. It was when she had questioned the dream that her fear had ended it, and it had been a great one! Too bad. Again she gave her power away to it. “Damn.”

  “What?”

  “I did it again,” she muttered. “Gave away my power.”

  He squeezed her. “We all do it, Maggie. We all have our buttons. Right now, yours is death.”

  “I don’t want to talk about it. I was so happy when I fell asleep.” She kissed his chest and ran her hand down his thigh, feeling his energy and making her skin tingle with pleasure.

  “Are you attempting to change the subject, or just shut me up?” he asked with amusement in his voice.

  She raised her head and looked at his handsome face in the moonlight. “Ya think I can?”

  He laughed. “You can, m’lady, anytime you want. I think I’ve made that clear in the last year. All I have to do is touch you, and I want you.”

  She sighed with pleasure. “Me, too,” she murmured, laying her head back down on his chest and stroking him.

  “All I was saying, Maggie, is that you have this… this trauma about death since Nick.”

  She groaned. “You’re going to do this, aren’t you?”

  “What better time, my love, to rid yourself of this fear? You, of all people, know death is
not an ending, an annihilation. I am living proof of it.” He chuckled. “Now there’s a paradox you can chew on for months.”

  She sighed. “Falling asleep in one world and waking up in another? Let me tell you, it’s disorienting.”

  “Until you learn the balance. When I was a child, Maggie, I was so sick sometimes I thought I was dying. Funny how even that served me, getting me in touch with my inner self years earlier than I would have had I been healthy. And once…” His words trailed off. “I think I’ve told you about this.”

  She nodded. “You felt at one with everything.”

  “It was… there are no words to describe it. The closest is joy. It isn’t an ending. It’s another beginning. There is nothing to fear, my incredible time traveler.”

  “I don’t fear it,” she whispered. “Well, not the experience so much as leaving you. Life. It’s just starting to be everything I always desired. And way more. Talk about the bennies of this union. I just don’t want it to end.”

  He hugged her tighter. “Why ever would it end now? You are finally living your life on purpose. Now is the time to live fully and do whatever you came this time around the wheel to accomplish. And it shall never end with you and I, Maggie. You know that. We have said it over and over, in lifetime after lifetime, and we’re saying it again right now.”

  Tilting her chin up, he looked down at her and smiled with love. “As I remember more and more of my connection to Nick and life with you in the Renaissance, I know that no matter what happens in the future, or the past, we are irretrievably connected by a twin flame, bound to create our own light and leave our impression upon the universe.”

  “Into eternity,” she breathed, touching his face with tenderness. “Adventure after adventure. Time after time. We’ll always find each other.”

  “Aye, m’lady,” he whispered back, turning his face to kiss her fingertips.

  She smiled with such love that all thoughts of death, of fear, vanished as she reaffirmed that no matter what happens, the love never dies. It continues. He was right. He was proof.

  “Hey,” she asked, “wanna make an impression upon the universe?”

  Laughing, he pulled her up on top of him and her hair made a tent around their faces as she eased in between his legs. “I can’t think of a better way in this moment to affirm life than by making love to you.”

  “Oh goody,” she remarked, leaning down and kissing him soundly.

  He quickly held her head when she pulled back. Staring into her eyes, he said, “I want to worship every inch of you tonight.”

  Again, she groaned as delicious sensations raced through her body. Smiling seductively, she whispered, “And you think I’m going to make this difficult for you?”

  He laughed. “I’m serious.”

  “I know you are. That’s why I groaned. I have received your worship, my love… and it’s anticipation I’m feeling right now.”

  “To put it in the words of one of the most intelligent women I have ever encountered… oh, goody.”

  It was her turn to laugh. She pulled back a little bit and tried to see his eyes more clearly. “Do you really think I’m one of the most intelligent women you have ever encount—”

  He gently tackled her and turned her onto her back. “Oh, hush. I shall stroke your ego, m’lady, if that is your wish,” he said with a laugh, while he traded positions and wound up between her legs, using his forearms to support himself as he looked down to her. “You are brilliant when you let go of your fears. Can you leave your insecurities this night? Your questions and deep excavations into your mind? Don’t think.”

  “Don’t think?” she asked in surprise.

  “That’s right, don’t think. I want you to feel, to follow your instincts.”

  As soon as she heard the words, her body reacted. Making love with Aiden Harley was like nothing she had ever experienced. He took her places in her mind and body that she didn’t even know existed. Now he was saying to turn off her mind.

  “How?” she asked, knowing her trust in him was complete. That was one thing she knew without a doubt. With twin flames there isn’t even a discussion of trust.

  Their gaze connected in that way. She knew she could never really explain it… the closest was the intimate, eternal spark of their flames uniting. In Aiden’s eyes was Nick staring back at her with such love that it left her in awe.

  “Hi…” he breathed with the most tender smile, as the timeless recognition was made.

  Her breath caught in her throat as she smiled back with wonder. “Hi…”

  “Allow me to worship you… you, that infinite spark of you that is eternally connected to all that ever was or is. Your emotional body is vibrating with unresolved emotions from your past. Thinking isn’t helping. See if feeling does.”

  She would have laughed except her body was sending some pretty strong feelings to go along with the suggestion and shut up, even mentally. “Oh, you’re good, Aiden Harley. No wonder all those women buy your CDs and write you those letters and—”

  “Hush, Maggie,” he said, right before his mouth captured hers and she couldn’t remember what she was even thinking.

  His kiss deepened, demanding her response.

  Surrender was sweet.

  When he lifted his head, she was gasping with her reaction. He rolled to his side and leaned up on his elbow, resting his head on his hand. Tenderly, he began using the tips of his fingers to caress her lips, her cheeks, her eyes, her hairline… down to her chin. He had done this many times in foreplay, yet this time there was something more in his touch. His energy was stronger.

  “You don’t have to do anything,” he repeated in a whisper. “Just feel. I’ll take care of your emotional body.”

  She knew he had studied with Buddhist monks, with native Indian shamans and a mahatma from India, but this… this was incredible. He was barely touching her, sometimes only the tiny hairs on her skin, and yet she was saturated with an energy of love that was stunning.

  “Wow…”

  “Shh…”

  Closing her eyes, she allowed him to continue without interruption as Aiden seemed to soothe everywhere he touched. The lyrics of the Marvin Gaye song, “Sexual Healing,” raced through her mind, and then she reminded herself that she wasn’t supposed to be thinking.

  Right… feeling.

  No words could ever describe what she was feeling. There weren’t any. Not in any language. The closest was bliss. She settled on that word and let it drift from her mind as all her attention seemed to be on her skin and right above it, in the fraction of space between the surface and his hand. That was where she was being drawn as wave after wave of pleasure spread through her body, blocking all thought.

  There was nothing but the experience of him… and of her.

  He slowly made his way down her body, not missing an inch of her. There was something reverent in his magical hands. Her shoulders, her breasts, her arms, hands, seemed to vibrate with his ministrations, and she moaned as she felt herself weightless again, this time wide-awake yet floating beyond herself.

  His touch was filled with such love and respect as he paid homage to her belly, and she experienced the purity of it center between her hips. When her thigh felt his hand, it twitched in instinctive response. He paid slow careful attention to her knees, her calves, her ankles her feet… everywhere. As he traveled up her inner thigh, she couldn’t stand anymore and grabbed his hand, pulling him up to her.

  “My physical body is telling my emotional body that enough is enough, Aiden Harley.” Her gasp of pleasure was genuine.

  His smile was tender. “As you wish, m’lady.”

  Kissing her nose, he then gently pushed her back down to the pillows.

  It was a sensuous dance of legs and arms, the electricity of skin against skin, the thrilling impression of intimate contact. It was old. Ancient. Primal. Life-affirming, and Maggie felt him merge into her, become one, and they both moaned at the exquisite homecoming. Together they danced
in perfect unity, graceful and passionate to sustain the union. Each wanted to prolong the present and played with the illusion of time, continuously drawing it out until it lost definition and, suddenly, they went beyond the beautiful white room on the California coast. They were out in the universe, making their glorious, unique impression.

  It was a timeless fusion, a marriage of male and female, light and dark, right and left, all opposites harmoniously blended until mere was only love left to dance amid the stars.

  Life, with all its innocence and passion, was honestly, profoundly affirmed.

  Holding each other through the aftershocks, they slowly returned, and Maggie opened her eyes to moonlight and Aiden smiling at her with such love she felt tears burning for release.

  “How I love you, Aiden Harley,” she murmured, touching his lips, his square jaw, and the tiny cleft in his chin.

  He kissed her fingers, and whispered, “And I adore you, Maggie Harley. You are the most incredible human being I have ever known, or ever will… and we belong together. Thank you, thank you, thank you for waiting for me. You are my beloved.”

  Closing his eyes, he inhaled deeply, and breathed, “Sweetness of my days, goddess of my nights, angel of my mornings…”

  Lying on her side facing him, she buried her head under his chin and allowed the tears to come. He remained calm, stroking her hair, her shoulder, as though sweeping away the charge of intense energy. Moment by moment, she felt lighter as she cried for the pain and sorrow, everything she had put herself through in order to reach this oasis in paradise. It had been quite an adventure to get home, to where she had always belonged.