Wrong Side of Forty

by DeLeon, Jana

  Marina sighed but couldn’t argue. Halcyon was probably right.

  “To be honest, I’m more worried about Avery than Letitia,” Marina said.

  “Oh shit! I guess I hadn’t thought that far. What are you going to tell her?”

  “I have no idea. If I tell her the truth, then I’m that parent who’s trying to turn their child against their soon-to-be-ex. If I don’t tell her the truth, she’s sure to find out and then I’ll be that parent who lies. It’s really a no-win situation.”

  “Based on what I’ve seen, having children, in general, is a no-win situation.”

  “It definitely can be at times.”

  “I think you’re going to have to level with her. Especially since Avery has history with the slut. Didn’t Avery’s high school boyfriend cheat on her with that nightmare?”

  Marina held up two fingers.

  Halcyon’s eyes widened. “Two boyfriends. You definitely don’t have a choice. If she finds out that bit of information from someone else, both you and Harold will be on the permanent outs with her. So I say throw him to the wolves. This is, after all, completely on him.”

  “You’re right. I know you’re right.”

  “But?”

  “But it feels so mean.”

  “It is mean. Mean for Avery to have to hear something like this about her father. Not mean of you to have to tell her. You owe her the truth. You’re not the bad guy here and no way should you take any of the blame. If I get even a whiff of blame-accepting on your behalf, I swear to God, I’ll drive to the university and tell her the whole sordid truth myself. Right down to the colors of that new nightie.”

  “You wouldn’t dare.”

  “I would and I will. Look, I’m not trying to come down on you but life as you knew it just ended, which means Marina as you knew her needs to end as well. This is no time to be the nice guy. You saw how Harold acted this morning. And if you hadn’t gotten mad, you’d have ended up leaving with nothing. You have to start putting yourself first. You’re not a bad person for taking care of yourself.”

  Marina nodded. Once again, she knew her sister was right, but why did it seem so hard? Had she spent so much of her life catering to others that she’d forgotten she deserved some of her time as much as anyone else? Her mother was being cared for by professionals. Her daughter was away at university. Snooze wasn’t any work. He slept for twenty-three hours out of the day and seemed as allergic to exercise as she was.

  Maybe Halcyon was right. It was time for Marina.

  “I’ll call her as soon as we get back to your house,” Marina said. “The cell phone service is sketchy out here and I don’t want this conversation to be a mess of bad connections.”

  “Yet another reason to reconsider moving into the marsh—the lack of reliable connections to other people.”

  Marina just nodded. It wouldn’t do to tell Halcyon that was the thing she was happiest about.

  “I’m going to put together a list of supplies,” Marina said. “I can probably find most of the things I need at the hardware store. If they don’t have it, I can either take a drive up the highway to Home Depot or see what I can find on Amazon.”

  “You can find everything on Amazon except a man. But there’s other sources for that.”

  “Don’t even go there. I haven’t even filed for divorce. I’m not ready to date.”

  “Who said anything about dating? I’m talking about sexy time.”

  Marina thought about her size 14 butt and all those sections that now jiggled, and grimaced. The last thing she wanted was to put all her flaws in front of a stranger.

  “I’m definitely not ready for sexy time,” Marina said.

  Halcyon narrowed her eyes at her. “You’re not feeling all self-conscious about a few extra pounds, are you?”

  Marina felt a blush run up her neck. Sometimes she could swear her sister could read minds. And it was never when you wanted her to.

  “I could stand to tighten things up a bit,” Marina said. Her sexy nightie had hung like a sack on the much younger and thinner Chastity.

  “We’re forty-eight years old. Things don’t tighten all the way anymore. You have to get close enough and use spandex to smooth out the rest.”

  “Things were tight on Chastity.”

  “Not the one thing that needed to be.”

  Marina burst out laughing. She couldn’t help it. No matter how dire things sometimes seemed, Halcyon had a way of breaking them all down to crude and humorous.

  When she finally regained composure, Marina grinned at her sister. “Have I told you lately how much I love you?”

  Halcyon smiled and wrapped her arms around Marina. “I love you too, baby. And this is all going to be fine. I promise you. I would say I’m going to be right there beside you the whole way, but that would be a damned lie. I’m going to be in front of you, blasting obstacles with my quick wit and laser-sharp tongue. If that doesn’t work, I’ll shoot ’em.”

  “Spoken like a true Cajun.” Marina glanced back outside and gave her sister’s arm a squeeze. “Give me a minute. There’s something I need to do.”

  As she headed for the back door, she heard Halcyon’s uncertain steps behind her.

  “Out back? It’s waist-high with grass and weeds and there’s probably a million snakes.”

  Marina opened the back door and pointed to a vine creeping around an old fence post. “There’s also that.”

  “What is it?”

  “Poison ivy.”

  “Good Lord, you’re not going to touch poison ivy, are you? Why? You’ll be one red itchy blob.”

  “It doesn’t bother me. Remember that fishing trip?”

  Halcyon frowned. “I mentally blocked it.”

  Halcyon and Marina had sat on poison ivy wearing their bathing suits, and Halcyon had scratched her butt cheeks for weeks. It hadn’t fazed Marina one bit. It wasn’t until Tommy Cox got caught practicing French kissing on his hand that kids stopped teasing her sister about it.

  “You know who else is highly allergic to poison ivy?” Marina asked.

  Halcyon shook her head.

  “Harold.”

  “So what are you going to do?”

  “I’m going to pick a mess of it and rub it in every pair of underwear he owns.”

  Chapter Six

  Marina clutched the phone as she sat on the edge of the bed in Halcyon’s guest room. Her sister had offered to hold her hand—or a pistol—while she made the call, but Marina didn’t think she’d be able to handle Avery’s and Halcyon’s outrage at the same time. And she had no doubt Avery’s default emotion was going to be anger. Not sad. Not upset. Her daughter didn’t do “useless” emotions, as she referred to them. But anger was different. Anger, Avery said, got things done.

  Marina had tried to argue with Avery over that idea in the past. But ever since losing it with Harold and walking away with a promise of twenty grand, Marina was quickly discovering just how lucrative anger could be. Mind you, she didn’t plan on it becoming a full-time job, as it was for her mother, but she could definitely see where it offered benefits in the right situation.

  “Hi, Mom,” Avery answered.

  She sounded upbeat and happy, and Marina silently cursed Harold for putting her in this position. The last thing Marina wanted to do was cause hardship for Avery, especially when she’d just gotten to the university the week before. She was right in the thick of decorating her room and making friends and figuring out what clubs, if any, she wanted to be part of. Marina was about to put a dark cloud over all of that.

  “Hi, baby,” Marina said. “How are things going?”

  “Great! Jackie and I went to a flea market yesterday and found the cutest rugs for our dorm room. They’re pink and black and have sparkly gold stripes. And Jackie’s mom bought us a mini fridge so we can shop in bulk at Costco and don’t have to worry about getting ice or drinking stuff hot. We’re going out this evening to find a cheap coffee maker.”

  “I wish you wo
uld have told me you wanted one. I would have been happy to find you something before you left.”

  “I wanted to do it myself. It’s like a college rite of passage.”

  “I thought beer drinking was the college rite of passage.”

  “Women in Last Chance still rub beer on the gums of teething babies. We all moved past beer being a rite of passage before we could walk.”

  “Well, let me know what you end up getting and I’ll put some coffee in your next gift basket.”

  “And sugar cookies, right? I handed out a couple and I’m pretty sure I could get people to commit a crime for seconds. I was thinking they might help if I land some crappy professors.”

  Marina frowned. “I don’t think bribing your professors is what college had in mind for preparing you for the workforce.”

  “Why not? I’ve seen how things work, Mom.”

  Marina wanted to argue, but she couldn’t think of a good rebuttal. Maybe it was better that Avery already understood that the world was unfair and seriously sucked a lot of the time. Her daughter was probably more prepared to deal with what Marina was about to tell her than Marina was.

  “I called because I need to tell you something,” Marina said. “It’s serious and I hate having to tell you over the phone, but I don’t want you to hear it from someone else.”

  “Oh my God, are you ill? Did someone die?”

  “No to the first. Not yet to the second.”

  “Then what? Stop worrying about how I’m going to handle things. I’m not a child anymore. Besides, I have a freshman mixer to get to and still have to finish my tinfoil dress first.”

  Pre-Stolen-Crotchless-Lingerie Marina would have launched into a million questions and then a plethora of unwanted advice about the tinfoil dress thing, but Post-Stolen-Crotchless-Lingerie Marina just cringed a little and moved on. She had bigger fish to fry.

  “It’s about your father and me,” Marina said. “We’re getting a divorce.”

  “What? Are you kidding me?”

  Avery’s voice had shifted from wanting to get away from the conversation to somewhat anxious.

  “I wish I were kidding,” Marina said. “I’m so sorry to have to tell you this way. I would have preferred to do it in person but I was afraid someone might call and tell you before I had a chance to talk to you.”

  “Why would someone else call to tell me anything about you and Dad? That doesn’t make sense.”

  “It makes sense if your father was having an affair and everyone in Last Chance found out. Including me.”

  Avery let out a single laugh. “An affair? Dad? No way. He’s too old and well, he’s Dad. No offense, but who would want him?”

  “That’s the other really bad thing. He’s taken up with Chastity.”

  There was dead silence on the phone for so long that Marina thought Avery had hung up on her.

  “Avery?” Marina said finally. “Are you still there?”

  Avery let out a string of cursing, with some phrases Marina was going to have to google later on. When her ranting finally stopped, Marina heard a huge intake of breath and then what sounded like a choked sob. Marina’s heart clenched so hard she felt as if her chest would burst.

  If Halcyon had been standing there with that offered pistol, Marina would have grabbed it from her hands and driven straight to Harold’s house and put a round or two in him. Avery never cried. Never. She thought it was stupid and weak. Even when she’d had appendicitis, she’d waited until it was about to burst to complain about the pain. And even though surgery had been difficult and recovery less than desirable, her daughter had never once complained, much less shed a tear. She took stoic to a level that Rambo hadn’t achieved.

  “Avery?” Marina said quietly.

  Another sniff.

  “Yeah, Mom. I’m here. Sorry for all the cussing. I know you hate it.”

  “Given the circumstances, I’m okay with it. I said some things to Halcyon that I thought would never come out of my mouth.”

  “Can’t you fix it?” Avery asked, sounding more like a little girl than the adult she so desperately tried to be. Marina’s heart broke all over again.

  “I don’t think so. It takes two to make a marriage work. Three is sort of a crowd.”

  “You could make him dump her. I mean, maybe if you changed your hair and bought some new clothes.”

  Marina clenched her hands into fists and wished horrible things on Harold all over again. She hated this. Hated it for herself, but even more so, she hated it for Avery. Her daughter shouldn’t have to deal with her parents divorcing before she’d even finished unpacking her dorm room. She definitely shouldn’t have to deal with the fact that the same girl had taken both her high school boyfriends and her father. And to hell with society for pushing the impossibility of women looking awesome and young until they were in the grave. For creating the fantasy that being pretty somehow made your life perfect.

  “I’m so sorry, baby, but it doesn’t work that way,” Marina said. “Your father has made it clear that his future doesn’t include me, and I’ve got to be honest, I’m not sure I could forgive him. Not for this. Not with her.”

  Another sniff. “I get it. I don’t think I can forgive him, either.”

  “He left me, not you,” Marina said, hating herself for the tired comment as soon as it came out of her mouth.

  “Whatever. The thing is, he doesn’t get to decide what I do, right?”

  “He can’t force you to have a relationship with him, but he’s still your father. And you got a full ride to university so you’re not in danger of losing tuition or your dorm as long as you keep your grades up, but there’s still your car insurance and cell phone and you’ll need spending money. I think things will be a little tight for me for a while. I’ll do what I can, but…”

  “This sucks. And I don’t mean because of the money. I don’t care about the money.”

  “It does suck,” Marina agreed.

  “So where are you? Did you kick him out of the house?”

  “The house was his mother’s. I can’t really do that.”

  “Are you staying with Aunt Halcyon?”

  “For now.”

  “What about later?”

  “I’ll let you know when I decide.”

  If Avery knew Marina was planning to move into the dilapidated fishing cabin, she’d drive straight back to Last Chance just to check her temperature. It was better to leave the logistics of some things for future conversations. After Avery had time to process the bigger aspects of the situation.

  “You’re sure about…her?” Avery asked. “I mean, it’s not just someone making something up?”

  “I’m sure.” No way was Marina telling Avery she’d actually caught them in the act, although she knew that bit of information would eventually filter down to her. But if there was a God, her daughter would never hear about the whole lingerie fiasco.

  “I’m sorry, Mom,” Avery said quietly.

  “I’m sorry too.”

  * * *

  Marina clutched the sink as the cold water she’d splashed on her face dripped onto her shirt. She patted her face with a washrag and let out a big sigh. Wisps of silver hair clung to her damp forehead. She leaned forward for a closer look and squinted, running her finger over the offending locks. Maybe Avery had been right about a new hairstyle. Or at minimum, some maintenance. It really didn’t do for a stylist to let her own hair go. But the gray seemed to sneak in overnight. One day it wasn’t there. The next day, she was sporting more silver than a vampire hunter.

  She headed downstairs, still clutching her cell phone and desperate for a glass of wine, despite the fact that she wasn’t completely free of the effects of her drinking the night before. And even though she’d finally dipped into Halcyon’s aspirin, her headache had lingered all day long, through packing, cabin inspection, and the trip to the hardware store. The call to Avery had made it worse.

  Halcyon had heard her coming and was apparently on her mind-
reading kick again, because she stood in the kitchen opening a bottle of moscato. The aspirin was already on the counter next to the bag of peas that housed her good chocolate. Basically, they were all set for round two of the commiserating.

  “I thought you hated the fruity stuff,” Marina said.

  “I do, but it’s your favorite, and this bottle is all about you.”

  Marina slid onto a barstool and took the full wineglass from Halcyon. “Have I told you lately that you’re a great sister?”

  “Maybe a time or two, but it’s always nice to hear.” Halcyon sat next to her. “How did it go?”

  “Crappy. I mean, as good as it could. Probably better than I expected, but…”

  “How much is Avery hiding her real feelings?” Halcyon finished her thought.

  “She was fairly vocal about the angry feelings. You would have appreciated her cursing rant. But yeah, I worry that she keeps the other emotions bottled up.”

  “It’s that intelligence thing. She’s always been the smartest person in the room. She’ll have to process everything to death before she comes to a final conclusion.”

  “Still doesn’t mean she’ll address how she feels about it. I don’t care how logical Avery seems, everyone has their trigger points. I just hope this doesn’t get her off-balance. Not now. The timing couldn’t be worse.”

  “So what are you going to do?”

  Marina shrugged. “Wait, I guess. See how she is when I call. If things start to sound sketchy, I’ll go down there.”

  “If that dumbass screws up her ride, I’m going to make him pay the rest of his life.”

  “If this crap screws up her ride, he’s not going to have much time left for you to work with.”

  Halcyon put her hand on Marina’s arm and squeezed. “I’m so sorry. I know that had to be one of the worst discussions you’ve ever had. I can’t even imagine.”

  “It was definitely hard.”

  Halcyon shook her head. “I don’t know how you do it—being a mother, I mean. It’s like you’re carrying someone else’s heart around in your pocket and you’re always working not to trip or let someone bump into you.”