I cup his face, kissing him softly. “Let’s just see how things go. I live in LA, remember?”
“I do. Constantly.” He takes a deep breath. “Enough for now. I have to get back to my place and change. I’ll text you later.”
“I’ll be waiting.”
Chapter 38 Georgie
I pace my living room waiting for Sophie to show up. At this point, I just have to tell her. I can’t stop the tears rolling down my face. When my doorbell rings, I rush over and open the door. It’s pouring rain out. Sophie steps in, shaking herself off a little.
“Oh, sweetie, you’re crying.”
I nod. “I’m fucked up.”
“Okay, let’s talk.” She runs her fingers through her blonde tresses as she kicks off her wet sneakers. “Do you have some coffee made?”
I smile through my tears. “Of course.” Our heavy talks always include coffee. We walk into the kitchen and I take mugs out of the cabinet, then fill them. “I was supposed to choose one. That’s how this started. They wanted to take me out together so I could pick one, but that night…” I glance up to find Sophie watching me intently. “The three of us ended up messing around. It was so hot I was immediately addicted. They both liked it and agreed to keep going.” She nods as I hand her a mug. “I think we all thought it would just be fun for a couple of weeks.”
“But?”
“It just kept going and then we started hanging out all the time. I couldn’t pick one, plus they were enjoying each other. So I proposed that we just stay together. The three of us.”
“Okay.”
“It seemed perfect to me. I had two gorgeous men worshipping me. Ben got to have Luc, and Luc was starting to get into it. I thought it would work.”
“What went wrong?”
“A little over a week ago, Ben freaked and tried to pull away. He had it in his head that he was preventing me and Luc from being a couple. I learned it’s because Luc was telling him that’s what he wanted. I proposed a different arrangement and ended up agreeing to Luc that I would be his girl and we would sometimes keep Ben in the picture.”
“Is that what you wanted?”
My eyes tear up again. “No. I wasn’t honest and I don’t know why.” Sophie nods, sipping her coffee. “I thought I got around it. Ben came over and the three of us had the most intense sex ever. We all agreed it was perfect, but Ben wanted to go to San Francisco for two weeks to clear his head.”
“Did he break it off?”
“No. Luc…” I shake my head. “Fucking Luc. He took me to dinner and he told…” I exhale. “Sophie, he told me he loved me.”
Her eyes open wide. “Oh no. Fuck.”
“It gets worse. He asked me to marry him.”
She sets her mug down. “Holy shit. What did you say?”
I wipe a tear from my cheek. “We’re gonna need more coffee.”
Chapter 39 Ben
Sitting in my office, I pack up my few things I collected this week. I can’t believe it’s Friday already and my plane to LA leaves in a few hours. Ryan should be here any minute to say goodbye. Then I have to face my real life. Not this pretend one where Luc doesn’t exist.
“Hey, you.”
I look toward the door when I hear his voice. “Hi.”
He shuts the door behind him. “I’m sad you’re leaving.”
“Me too.” I stand and walk over to him, standing in front of him. We search each other’s eyes and start to speak at the same time.
Ryan laughs. “You first.”
“I had a fantastic week, Ryan. Really great. I don’t want this to be the last time I see you.”
His shoulders drop. “Thank god.”
“I was thinking, maybe you could come down to LA and work for a week. We could see how things go on my turf.”
Ryan smiles big. “I was hoping you would ask. I asked my boss if I could.”
I laugh softly. “Taking charge. That’s my boy.”
“I wish I was your boy. All the time, Ben.”
I cup his face. “You are.” We kiss, pressing into his each other. Ryan wraps his arms around my waist, pulling me close, then leans his head on my chest. “When can you come?”
He looks up at me. “Is Monday too soon?”
A grin spreads across my face. “It’s perfect.”
∞∞∞
That night, lying in my own bed for the first time in two weeks, I stare at the ceiling allowing my thoughts to wander to Luc and Georgie. Are they together right now talking about me? Are they planning a wedding? I can’t imagine what seeing his face is going to feel like, but in two days, that’s exactly what’s going to happen.
On Monday, I walk into the office with my defenses high. I’m earlier than usual, hoping I don’t run into Luc first thing. I need some time to adjust. I glance at my watch. Ryan will be here at ten. He’ll provide a buffer, a distraction, and basically everything I need in my life right now.
I shut my office door, digging into work. I owe Jake a report on my San Fran experience and month end reports are due tomorrow. Plenty to keep my busy.
Three hours later, the knock on my door startles me, and I brace expecting it to be Luc but smile when it’s Ryan. I stand and walk over, throwing my arms around his neck. He kisses me sweetly.
“Good trip?”
He nods. “Easy. Am I interrupting you?”
“Not at all. Been waiting all morning to see you.”
Ryan grins, rubbing my back. “You’re sure you’re still okay with me staying with you?”
“Of course. Why spend company money on a hotel when you’ll be there anyway?”
“Awesome. I can only stay through Wednesday. I finally got a meeting with a potential client, and he’s only available Thursday.”
“Three days is better than nothing.”
“Agreed.” He kisses me again. “You okay?”
“Yeah.”
“Did you see him this weekend?”
At this exact moment is when I realize what could happen. Did he hear me say his name? Will he know when he meets Luc?
“What’s wrong?” he asks.
“Um, nothing. No I haven’t seen him yet.”
“That’s good. I still have a chance.”
I pretend punch his arm. “Of course you do, Ryan. You’re a great person and exactly who I needed to meet.”
He kisses me again. “I’ll follow your lead since we’re on your turf now. If you want to keep things low key, I’m down with that. I know it’s different here.”
“No one knows about me here. Not at work anyway.”
“No worries. I have month end reports to do, so I’ll be in the office at the end of this hall.”
“Lunch?”
“Yeah. Invite whoever you want.”
I pinch his chin. “Just us today. I missed you.”
Ryan shakes his head. “You are a charming son of a bitch, aren’t you?”
We both laugh. After he leaves, I get back to work both surprised and happy Luc hasn’t come by yet. Maybe he’s really going to leave me alone. Maybe I really want him to.
∞∞∞
At noon, Ryan pops in again. “I’m starving.”
I stand, grabbing my phone. “Me too. What would you like?”
His hand moves between my legs, gently gripping my dick. “This.”
I laugh. “I thought you meant food.”
“Oh, I do. Just making sure this is on the menu for later.”
“It is. Guaranteed. You can make me your bitch again.”
We both laugh, turning to leave just as Luc walks in. He studies my face, shifting his glance between me and Ryan. Tense doesn’t even begin to describe what’s happening right now.
“Uh, Luc, this is Ryan. He’s visiting from the San Francisco office as my guest.”
Luc barely hides the rage on his face but extends his hand as Ryan shakes it. “Welcome to LA.”
“Thanks. You’re Luc Allegro?”
“I am.”
“Wh
at an honor to meet you. We hear stories about you all the time.”
The tension in his face relaxes just slightly. “I appreciate that. I have to talk to you, Ben. You’ve been gone two weeks.”
“Yeah, I’ll have to catch you later. Ryan and I are going to lunch.”
“Why don’t you come too?” Ryan asks, causing me to die a little inside. He has no idea what he’s doing to me right now.
Please say no. Luc’s eyes meet mine briefly. “I’m afraid I won’t be able to today but thank you for the invite. It’s very kind.”
“Ah, okay. Maybe before I leave.”
“Which is when?”
“Wednesday night.”
“I’ll look at my calendar.” His eyes shift to mine. “Could you give us just a moment alone, Ryan? Ben and I have a shared project, and I need an update before you go to lunch.”
“Sure.”
I grab Ryan’s arm. “It can wait until later. It’s not pressing.”
“I disagree. You’ve left me hanging over a week.”
“I’m sure you can manage.”
Ryan rubs my arm. “Uh, take the minute. I need to stop in the bathroom anyway.”
He exits, leaving me and Luc alone. Luc narrows his eyes, stepping closer to me.
“You brought him here?” He leans so close to my face, it’s hard to maintain his gaze. “You’re flaunting your boy toy in my face.”
“Fuck you, Luc. You have no right.”
He shakes his head. “I can’t fucking believe you. We said always mates, and you’re intentionally trying to hurt me.”
I rub my forehead. “You are so fucking blind. I’m not intentionally trying to hurt you. I’m intentionally trying to heal me. Don’t you get it, Luc? Don’t you see what you’ve done to me?”
“Why can’t we talk?”
“Because with us we’re either fucking or fighting. There’s no in between anymore.” I pat his chest, wishing I hadn’t touched him. It feels too good still. “Go be with your Georgie and leave me alone.”
“That’s it then? We’re done? We’re not lovers, we’re not mates. We’re just fucking colleagues?”
I gaze at the floor for a moment before blinking back tears. “Please, Luc, I can’t do this right now.”
“Because of Ryan?”
“No, because it’s killing me to push you away, but I have to. For my own sake, I have to.” He tries to hold me, but I step back. “Not here.”
“Then where?”
“Not now.”
His eyes gaze back at me as if I just drove a knife in his heart. “Fine, Ben. I’ll leave you alone but hear me. We’re not done. Not on any level.”
He leaves my office, and I take a deep breath before going to find Ryan. He’s standing outside my door, gazing at the floor.
“Ryan?”
“You could’ve told me it was him. You could’ve trusted me with that.”
I almost pull him into my arms until I remember where we are. “Let’s go eat and talk.”
“You sure it’s me you want to talk to?”
“Absolutely.”
We get on the elevator and I reach for his hand, squeezing gently before we reach the lobby. Outside, we walk down the street to a little deli. Once seated, I take a sip of water and figure out where to start.
“Yeah, so I didn’t tell you because I didn’t think about it until this morning when you got to LA. It has nothing to do with trust.”
Ryan nods. “I get it. I understand, man. Luc is phenomenal looking.”
“Yeah, he’s even more than that. He was my best friend until all of this started.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. It was such a risk. I work with him, he’s my best friend, and he didn’t know about me until we got involved with Georgie. What’s happening right now is exactly why we shouldn’t have crossed the line.”
“Did you tell him you’re in love with him?”
“Yeah. Numerous times.”
“And?”
“He says things when you don’t want to hurt someone, but you don’t feel the same way. Things like I have feelings for you in my own way. Bullshit like that.”
Our food is delivered and Ryan eats a chip, studying my face. “I think he loves you, Ben.”
“What?”
“The way he looked at you. The hurt in his eyes when he met me. I think he loves you too. I’m very perceptive, remember?”
“If he loved me, he wouldn’t have proposed to Georgie.”
“Is this the first relationship he’s had with a man?”
“It’s not a relationship, Ryan. We were just fucking. I screwed up and fell in love.”
Ryan reaches for my hand and I give it to him, not giving a shit who sees us. “It’s possible Luc screwed up too, and now he doesn’t know how to manage it. Especially if he’s never had feelings for a man before.”
“I don’t want to talk about it anymore.”
“But you need to. I heard the conversation, Ben.”
I take a bite of my sandwich, chewing and thinking of my response. “Ryan, listen to me. I want you here, not to be my therapist over Luc, but to spend time with. I want you in my bed tonight. I want you.”
Ryan nods, smiling but it’s not the same. “Okay, Ben. We’ll do it your way.”
∞∞∞
I open the door of my apartment after buzzing Ryan up. When I see him, I smile, leaning forward to kiss him. “Hi.”
“Hi.” He hugs me and then follows me inside.
“I ordered Thai. Good?”
“Absolutely.”
I check him out wearing a t-shirt and jeans. “You look good in casual clothes.”
“So do you. It’s nice here. So much warmer than San Fran.”
I laugh softly. “Yeah. Definitely. Want some wine?”
“Sure.” I grab the wine from the dining table and bring it to the coffee table. Ryan sits, glancing around. “Nice place.”
“Thanks. I’m happy you’re here.”
“Me too.” He takes a glass of wine as I sit next to him. We clink glasses and each take a sip. “Mm, tasty.”
“Thanks.” It’s Luc’s favorite. “How was your first day in the LA office?”
“Good. People are nicer here.”
“Really? I didn’t notice that. People were nice to me in your office.”
“Cuz they knew who you were. I’m a nobody.”
I shake my head. “I’m a nobody.”
“Wait till I tell them I met Luc Allegro. He’s like a celebrity in sales.”
“Here too. He taught me everything I know.”
“Lucky. How did you guys hook up?”
“I told you.”
“No, sorry. I meant as friends.”
“Oh. I just had the balls to schedule a meeting with him and tell him I wanted a career likes his. How did I get it? He offered to take me to lunch and by the end of it, we were friends. We just hit it off. We have a lot in common.”
“Like?”
“Our sense of humor. He’s dry and sarcastic and British. I’m just the first two.” Ryan laughs. “We have very similar styles in terms of how we approach our work. It was easy for him to mentor me.”
“Were you always attracted?”
“Yeah. Did you see his face?”
Ryan laughs. “I did.”
“He’s got women throwing themselves at him all the time. We’d go out drinking and I studied him. The way he spoke, his swagger, all of it. Of course I wanted him, but never thought I would have a chance.”
Ryan nods, sipping his wine. “Never got close before this woman entered the picture?”
“No. I felt brave enough with her help. I was shocked when he was cool with it.”
Ryan laughs. “Everyone’s a little bit gay in my opinion.”
“Yeah, but you met him. Does he seem even a little gay?”
“If I saw him from afar I would say no, but the way he looked at you, that was a man in love.”
“Oh, we’re b
ack to that.”
“Do you want my advice?”
I twist my lips. “Sure.”
“I think you should talk to him. Hear him out. Maybe he’s had time to think things over and wants a shot.”
“A shot at what?”
“A relationship with you.”
I guffaw. “Oh please. A man like Luc living a homosexual life. No way.”
“Is that comment about him or you?”
“I don’t know, Ryan. I told you I’ve never really dated men.”
“So if things kept going with us, what would it be? Would you tell people we’re just fucking? Would you dump me when things got serious?”
“I don’t fucking know, okay. I’m just going with it.”
Ryan sets his wine glass down and begins massaging my shoulders. “I really like you, Ben, but—”
“No.” I turn to face him. “Don’t say what you’re going to say. Don’t tell me you don’t want to be in my way with Luc, because that’s not happening. Don’t tell me you don’t want to be with a guy who’s not out just because I haven’t had a reason to come out yet. Don’t dump me. I can’t take it.”
Ryan pulls my head to his chest, stroking my hair. “Do you want me to take the lead, Ben?”
I twist my face to meet his eyes. “Yes.”
He smiles, brushing his fingers over my cheek. “Then let’s have dinner. Then we’ll go to bed. We’ll deal with everything else tomorrow.”
That’s exactly what I need.
Chapter 40 Luc
I look up when I hear the knock on my door, praying it’s Ben. “Enter.” When Ryan enters, I sit back in my seat in surprise. “Oh, hello.”
“Hi, Luc.” He smiles and I can tell right away what drew Ben to him. “Do you have a few minutes?”
“Uh,” I look around, wishing I could come up with something quickly, but finding nothing. “Sure. What can I help you with?”
He closes the door and sits in the chair across from me. “I’m just really excited to meet you. My first week with the company, they showed me a video you did about closing the sale. I’ve been trying to use your techniques since.”
I nod. “Thank you. Have you had success?”
The Thing About Us: A MMF Bisexual Romance Page 23
