Fallen From Grace

by Heather D'Agostino

  “You and the ice cream…you always complain about staying in shape. If you keep eating like that, you’ll be a shape alright…a round one,” she giggled as she started moving down the hall again.

  “That is so not funny,” Hannah shouted at Grace’s retreating form.

  When Grace reemerged from her bedroom, she plopped down on the sofa beside Hannah, “So did Matt head home?”

  “Yeah,” Hannah sighed. “He had to get back for Charlie.”

  “I guess that will make it a challenge to spend time together, huh?” Grace turned toward Hannah and grabbed the carton of ice cream.

  “Yeah, but I love that little boy, and they’re a package deal,” she nodded and went to grab the ice cream back from Grace just as Grace dipped the spoon in her mouth. “Hey, get your own,” she scowled.

  Grace giggled, “You and Charlie should get along great. You sound like a five year old.”

  Hannah rolled her eyes and flopped back, “Well,” she flicked Grace’s sweat shirt sleeve, “at least when I get round…I can borrow this.”

  Grace’s mouth turned down, “Are you knocking my sweats?”

  “What gave you that idea?” Hannah giggled.

  “Don’t knock the sweats until you try them,” Grace huffed.

  “I can’t try them when you never take them off,” Hannah grinned.

  Grace’s face sobered quickly as Hannah realized she’d taken their banter too far.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it,” Hannah huffed. “I just…”

  “No, it’s ok,” Grace flopped back against the arm of the sofa and placed the ice cream on the table in front of them. “I’ve got to get comfortable with my body again. I know that. I just don’t want to send a message to anyone…you know,” she shrugged.

  “Grace, what happened was not your fault. I don’t know how to get you to see that. HE was a scumbag. It doesn’t matter how you dress or what you say…No means NO!” Hannah grabbed her by the shoulders and turned her to face her direction. “You’re forgetting that he had a choice that night, too. He chose not to listen. He chose to do what he did. You need to stand up and tell that jerk that you’re not going to let him bully you around.”

  “What are you talking about? He’s not even a student here anymore,” Grace covered her face with her hands.

  “He may not be here physically, but he’s still here. I watch the way you react to people. Greg still has a hold on you. When are you going to fight back?” Hannah pulled Grace into a tight hug. “I’m not trying to push you into anything, but this is supposed to be the best time of our lives.”

  “I know,” Grace huffed. “Can we talk about something else now? I need your help with something,” Grace groaned.

  “Sure,” Hannah bounced as she turned and pulled her leg up under herself. “What’s up?”

  “Remember library guy?” Grace began slowly. “Well…he’s been pretty persistent about wanting to hang out.”

  “Library guy?” Hannah wrinkled her forehead. “You mean the one that came over here with your book the other night?”

  “Yeah, him,” Grace nodded. “His name is Justin. We’ve been studying together…sort of…I think.”

  Grace continued to tell Hannah all about Justin. How they’d been sharing a table. How Justin had assumed that she was some sorority girl. How she’d made a fool out of herself trying to escape the library without his seeing her.

  “It sounds like he really likes you,” Hannah mused.

  “He doesn’t even know me,” Grace whined.

  “Well, I bet if you gave him a chance, he might surprise you,” Hannah draped her arm around Grace’s shoulders. “Why don’t you invite him over here to study? I’ll stay home that night so you won’t be alone with him. You guys could work in here,” she waved her arm around the room.

  “I don’t know,” Grace stiffened.

  “Why not give him a chance? I’m pretty good at reading people. I’ll kick him out if I get a bad vibe…how’s that?” Hannah smiled.

  “Study here…” Grace mumbled. “Yeah, I guess that could work.”

  “It’s a step in the right direction,” Hannah nodded.

  “Now…how am I going to find him to invite him over? I don’t know his last name,” Grace drew in a deep breath.

  “Sounds like he has a habit of finding you. Why don’t you just wait until he runs into you again? Make your plans and then let me know. I’ll be here, I promise,” Hannah traced her finger over her chest making an X.

  “Let him find me…” she nodded and mumbled to herself once again. “Yeah…ok.”

  ooooooooo

  After a week of going to the library in the hopes of running into Justin again, Grace had all but given up. She hadn’t seen him once. She wondered if he had finally given up on her. She had blown him off so many times that he probably had set his sights on someone else by now.

  ooooooooo

  As she sat down in her usual chair, she told herself that it was good he’d moved on. They would never work because she would never be able to let him in. If he knew the real Grace, he would never want to be with her. Before she could berate herself anymore, she heard a backpack thump down on the other end of the table. When she glanced up, she saw Justin grinning back at her.

  “For someone who hasn’t been here for days, you sure look happy,” she grumbled.

  “I won my case,” he chirped back confidently as he moved to sit down.

  “Congratulations…I guess,” Grace waved her hand dismissively.

  “Thanks,” he gave a quick nod as he reached into his backpack to pull out yet another folder piled high with papers. As he began to thumb through it, his head snapped up, “What do you mean someone who hasn’t been here in days? Have you been looking for me?” he smirked.

  “Well…” Grace coughed and sputtered at the thought of being called out. “Not really…you just seemed to disappear.”

  “Huh,” he nodded. “Were you worried about me, then?”

  “Ugh…a little confident today, aren’t you?” she rolled her eyes and shook her head at the same time.

  “I have a right to be. That was a tough case, and I slam dunked it,” he shrugged. “I can’t wait for the next several months to go by so I can get cases like this more often.”

  “So you really want to work for the DA then?” Grace began to pour over the book in front of her so she could avoid eye contact.

  “Yeah,” he nodded.

  “So…you mentioned that you might want to hang out…I was thinking you might want to study at my place sometime,” Grace rushed the words out.

  “Um,” Justin swallowed and glanced in her direction completely taken off guard. “Are you being serious right now, or are you teasing me?”

  “I’m being serious,” Grace turned her head so she was facing away from him, then glanced back to see his reaction. “You asked me about hanging out. I figured…we study here, why not my place?” she waved her hand at him. “If you don’t want to, I understand.”

  “No, I want to. That sounds nice. How’s tomorrow?” he offered a soft smile.

  “Sure, say six?” she peeked up at him with her head still bent over her book.

  “Six…I’ll see you then,” he nodded “and I’ll bring dinner.”

  Grace looked back at him, “This isn’t a date.”

  “I didn’t think so, but you gotta eat, right?” he lifted one brow.

  Grace shook her head as she glanced down at her book. No way was she getting any studying done today. She could feel his intense stare as she tried to concentrate, but it just wasn’t happening.

  “Could you stop, please?” she groaned without even looking in his direction.

  “Stop what?” he teased.

  “Looking at me,” she huffed.

  “I’m not,” he chuckled back. “I’m working, you just happened to be in my line of vision.”

  “Fine…I’ll move out of it,” she stood, stuffed her books in her backpack, and began to move
toward the door. “You better get more control over yourself for tomorrow or I’ll kick you out,” she called over her shoulder.

  “You mean for our non-date?” he called in her direction.

  “I knew this was a bad idea,” she groaned without looking back at him.

  As she exited the library, there were a collection of “shushes” and “be quiet, I’m trying to works” uttered. Grace sighed as she made her way out into the sunshine to head to class. She felt different. Maybe it was the fact that she finally decided to take a chance on Justin. Maybe things were finally going to turn in a positive direction. She shook the thoughts from her head as she swung open the main door to the Bio building. She needed to get her head on straight for class. It was going to be a long twenty four hours before she saw him again.

  ooooooooo

  Right at six she heard the buzzing for her door. When Grace moved to answer, Hannah began picking up her things that she’d left out on the table. She knew that Grace would need the space to study. Even though she was staying home to be there in case Grace needed her, she was going to stay in her room to give them time to themselves.

  When Grace opened the door, there stood Justin with his satchel hanging on his arm, and a pizza box in his hand. Grace stepped back out of the way, to let him in.

  “You can put that on the table over there if you want,” Grace motioned to the coffee table in front of the couch.

  Justin walked over and set the pizza down followed by his bag, “This is a nice place.”

  “Thanks, we like it,” Hannah chimed in from behind them. “I’m Hannah, Grace’s roommate.”

  “Nice to meet you,” Justin reached out to shake her hand. “I’m Justin Bennett.”

  “I’m going to study in my room,” Hannah motioned down the hall. “If you need me, just yell,” she looked Grace in the eyes.

  “Thanks,” Grace nodded in understanding.

  Justin took in the exchange and found it odd that Hannah seemed so protective. He didn’t think he came off as someone she should be worried about, but Grace was a hard one to read.

  As Hannah disappeared down the hall, and Grace disappeared into the kitchen, Justin glanced at himself in the mirror on the wall. His sandy brown hair was fluffed up in every direction due to the wind that day, his brown eyes sparkled behind his wire rimmed glasses, and the jeans and t-shirt he was wearing were showing enough of the outline of his body to not come off that he was trying too hard to impress anyone. He shrugged to himself as he moved into the room further and made himself comfortable on the couch. Something about him was putting Grace on edge, he just didn’t know what it was.

  When Grace came into the room with plates and two sodas, Justin jumped up to help her. As he reached for the sodas that she had gripped between her arm and her chest, his fingers brushed against her beast. The light touch, innocent as it was, made Grace recoil instantly. She dropped the plates as her eyes flashed in what Justin could only read as fear.

  “I’m sorry,” Justin reached for the plates as they clattered on the floor.

  Grace swallowed, “Its ok.”

  “No…it’s not. Are you afraid of me?” he set the plates on the table and moved to sit on the couch.

  “No,” Grace almost shouted.

  “That’s not the way it seems to me,” Justin shifted as he reached for the pizza box. “You jumped like I burned you.”

  “You just startled me,” Grace snapped back as she fought to hold down the rising panic.

  “I’m sorry,” Justin sighed.

  “Don’t worry about. Let’s eat and then try to get some work done, ok?” Grace huffed as she, too, grabbed a piece of pizza.

  “Ok, whatever,” Justin began to try to brush off what just happened like Grace seemed to be doing.

  As the night wore on, Justin, and Grace finished their dinner and began to pour over their books. Neither mentioned his touching her again, and after sometime it was as if it never happened. By the time they had finished with their study session, it was late and Grace was finally able to relax around him.

  “So…we should do this again,” Justin mentioned as he began stuffing folders into his backpack.

  “Yeah…ok,” Grace shrugged dismissively.

  “Maybe at my place?” Justin suggested.

  “Um, I don’t know. We’ll see,” Grace began to back pedal. She was not ready to go to Justin’s place yet. Who knew if he had a roommate, or if they‘d be alone.

  “We can study here again if you’d rather,” Justin offered as he saw the discomfort spread across her face. “I just thought you might like something different is all.”

  “Here works better for me,” Grace nodded as she stood.

  Once Justin had his bag pack on his shoulder, he too stood and began to make his way to the door. He wanted Grace to open up to him so bad. Whatever was bothering her seemed to be causing her to keep him at a distance.

  She opened the door and turned in his direction, “This was nice. Thanks for dinner.”

  “You’re right, it was nice…and you’re welcome,” he smiled a genuine smile at her.

  As he turned to walk out the door, he began to lean in and kiss her on the cheek. As he watched the fear creep up into her expression once again, he backed up. He was sure of it now. She was scared of him. He had no idea why, but he was going to make it his mission to find out.

  This girl who seemed so strong on the outside, was so fragile on the inside. A simple touch sent her into a tailspin. She had no idea how he really felt about her, and he was afraid if he told her, she’d completely shut down on him.

  Chapter 8

  “You like him, don’t you?” Hannah nudged Grace in the shoulder as she sat down with a bowl of cereal.

  “I don’t know,” Grace groaned. “I want to, but I just…”

  “Just what?” Hannah prodded.

  “I have so much baggage. I don’t know if he could handle it,” Grace huffed as she flopped back, grabbed a pillow, and hugged it to her chest.

  “Well, if you don’t let him in, you’re never going to find out,” Hannah turned slightly and pulled one of her legs up under herself.

  “You think I don’t know that?” Grace rolled her eyes.

  “I know you’re scared, Grace. I get that…I really do, but you need to let this out. It’s going to eat you alive from the inside if you don’t,” Hannah sighed. “Justin seems like a great guy.”

  “I know, he does…doesn’t he?” Grace smiled as she thought about all the study sessions she and Justin had been having.

  Over the past month, Justin had either come to her place, or she’d met him at the library. Every time they hung out, she seemed to be getting more comfortable around him. Grace only hoped that she could tell him what happened to her at some point. She felt he had a right to know, she just didn’t know if she had the courage to tell him.

  “So, what are your plans for the weekend,” Hannah tried bringing Grace out of her thoughts.

  “Huh?” Grace shook her head.

  “The weekend? What are you plans? Studying?” Hannah rolled her eyes.

  “Probably…why? What’s wrong with studying?” Grace crossed her arms over her chest.

  “Nothing…it’s just that’s all you do,” Hannah sighed. “Why don’t you see if Justin wants to hang out? Matt’s coming to visit this weekend…we could do something together…like a group thing. Then, you wouldn’t have to be alone with him, and you could do something that didn’t involve books.”

  “I don’t know if I’m ready for that Hannah,” Grace’s eyes flashed with worry.

  “Relax… it wouldn’t be a date. Just dinner or something,” Hannah tossed her hand in the air. “Think about it…let me know.”

  “Fine. I’ll see what Justin’s doing on Friday…how’s that?” Grace moved to head into the kitchen.

  “Sounds like you might actually still be in that shell you call yourself,” Hannah smiled as she watched Grace disappear around the corner.

&
nbsp; ooooooooo

  As Grace made her way toward the law library, she began planning how she would broach the subject of dinner. It was already Wednesday afternoon, and she’d chickened out twice. Justin had been meeting her every day this week. She tried to ask him, but kept stopping in fear that he’d think it was a date. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to go out with him. She trusted him, at least she thought she did. It was the thought of dating someone after so long that had her worried things would escalate faster than she was prepared for.

  When she rounded the corner to where her usual table was, she saw him buried in his files. It seemed that he always had some file in front of him. She smiled to herself as she watched him from a distance. He wasn’t the type of guy she was typically attracted to. His lean frame didn’t carry the bulk of an athlete. He always looked so put together, it made her wonder what he would look like at home when he was in a relaxed environment. She grinned as she watched his nose scrunch up and his brow furrow in concentration. He rubbed his forehead as he pulled his glasses from his nose. It must be a tough case, she thought as she began to move closer. She pushed the thoughts she was having aside and sat down at the table across from him.

  “I was wondering if you were going to come over, or just stand there and stare at me,” he smirked without even looking up.

  “What?” she gasped as she tossed her bag on the table and sank down into a chair.

  “You were staring…I could feel your eyes on me,” he chuckled. “I know I’m sexy,” he grinned as he looked up at her, “but could you not stare at me like I’m on display?”

  Grace swallowed as she began to blush, “Ummm, I wasn’t staring.”

  “Sure, whatever you say…” he shrugged.

  “So,” Grace began, “I was wondering… if maybe… you’d like.”

  “Spit it out, Grace,” he joked and then sobered his face when he saw how hard this was for her.

  “Well, Hannah and Matt were wanting us to join them for dinner Friday,” she began to ramble.

  “Like a date?” Justin smiled softly and cocked his head to the side.