Safe Harbor

by Welch, HJ

  He was largely okay until he got to Jay.

  Being back with his twin had felt so right. They were two halves of the same whole. A bit like how Dair made him feel complete, but obviously in a totally different way. Jay had been the first person to champion Robin and always saw the best in him.

  Robin felt recharged by all his family. How could he have forgotten the way they made him feel valued and truly seen? Even snarky, hungover Emery got a little emotional when they hugged goodbye.

  “This place isn’t the same without you,” he mumbled before kissing his cheek noisily and leaving a lip gloss stain on Robin’s jaw.

  Robin chuckled and tried to rub it off. He wanted to tell Emery he might be right, but he wasn’t sure he could without getting tearful. “Thanks,” he said instead. “Love you.”

  “Okay, that’s far too many feels for this time of the morning. Time to pose!” Emery waved them all in front of his phone, having produced a selfie stick out of nowhere. “You too, Mr. and Mrs. Coal. That’s it. Now everyone say ‘sparkle’!”

  Emery kept them hostage for several more photos, but then it was finally time for Robin, Dair, and Peyton to finally say goodbye.

  “Come back soon,” Swift instructed.

  “And bring Smudge!” Kestrel sniffed and tried to pretend she wasn’t rubbing her eyes as she kissed the puppy’s head for the fiftieth time.

  The three of them promised faithfully they would, waving as they stepped into their cars. Robin was riding with Dair in his truck, while Peyton would follow behind in her banged-up purple VW Beetle.

  “Bye!” Robin called out the window. “See you soon! Bye!”

  He waved until the house disappeared from view behind the pine trees.

  It wasn’t until Dair squeezed his knee twice did he realize he was brushing tears from his cheeks.

  “Hey,” Dair said softly. “We can come back every weekend if you want.”

  Robin laughed and found a tissue in his backpack to mop his eyes and blow his nose. “Thank you,” he said. “I’m really glad you liked my town.”

  Dair licked his lips, glancing at Robin for a second. “I loved it. I felt like I found myself there.”

  Robin linked their hands together, then kissed the back of Dair’s knuckles. “Me too. It only took twenty-eight years. But better late than never.”

  Dair squeezed his fingers. “Hell yeah.”

  Robin bit his lip, looking over Dair’s profile as he reclaimed his hand and drove them past the town limits.

  Were they leaving the fantasy behind?

  Would Dair still feel the same way when they got home? Would he come out as pan when he had to go back to the auto shop and face his very manly dude-bro coworkers? When the thrill of pretending to date dulled down into the realities of dating, would they still have this spark? How would they cope with living together if they needed some space?

  If they broke up?

  “Stop it,” Dair growled with a smile.

  Robin blinked himself from his reverie as Dair took his hand again. “What?”

  “I can sense all the stress radiating off you. No, I’m not changing my mind. Wild horses couldn’t drag me away. This wasn’t some holiday romance or whatever. I am very much anchoring my boat in your port, Robin Coal. And if I have to quit my job, I’m really not that attached to it. There are some folks there who might not accept me the way I am now, so perhaps it’s better to leave them behind.”

  Robin frowned. Relief was pulsing through him, but also confusion. “Why would you quit your job?”

  Dair shrugged before taking his eyes briefly off the road to glance at Robin. There was a spark of mischief in his eyes. “No reason. But mechanics can always find work anywhere, you know?”

  There was a pause while he watched the road as they merged onto the freeway.

  “And software developers too. I mean, they work from home half the time, I hear. So even if they had to travel a bit for jobs, it wouldn’t be that bad.”

  Robin could feel his brow knitting together and he tried to smooth it out. “Why would I change my job?” He was completely lost. Did Dair know something he didn’t?

  But Dair just grinned and winked at him. “No reason. I just thought I’d put it out there, so you’d know. For future reference.”

  Future…

  Robin’s chest expanded as something warm rushed through his body from head to toe.

  Would Dair consider moving for him?

  It was such early days they couldn’t possibly think like that. But…they had been sharing an apartment for three months like a house on fire. Jay was right. They had the advantage of skipping that step already.

  Robin bit his lip as a smile slowly crept on his face. Dair didn’t look over at him, but he was still grinning as they drove down the freeway, back toward the city.

  Perhaps city life wasn’t for them anymore, though?

  Perhaps they would be happier in a town with fresh air, breathtaking views, and more welcoming, loving smiles than they’d ever find in Seattle.

  Robin snuggled into his seat, letting Dair have his hand back as Smudge stopped looking out the windows and crawled into Robin’s lap. He stroked the puppy’s fur, encouraging him to doze off. The radio played softly, and Robin felt a contentment he didn’t think he’d ever experienced.

  He wasn’t sure exactly where their road was going to lead, but with Dair by his side, he was sure everything would turn out just fine.

  Epilogue

  Six Months Later

  Robin

  “Will the torture never end!” Robin cried, slapping his hands to his face and looking around at the carnage before him.

  Dair chuckled and wrapped his arms around Robin’s waist, kissing his neck. “This is what you get for having so much stuff,” he teased.

  Robin huffed, surveying all the many boxes still yet to be unpacked in their new apartment. “You don’t understand – I need my Doctor Who TARDIS replica phone case from when I was sixteen. And my stackable Game of Thrones mug set. And my thirty-two Goosebumps books. And especially my built-by-hand Lego Death Star!”

  Dair laughed again, rocking Robin back and forth gently. “Well, I’m lucky, aren’t I? I just need you.”

  Robin felt his cheeks flush. He rolled his eyes as he lightly slapped Dair’s arm. “Shut up, you sap,” he mumbled. But he didn’t mean it. He loved it.

  The truth was, Robin hadn’t realized how much of a hoarder he truly was in his Seattle room until he and Dair had moved. Robin had been clinging on to so much junk from his teen and childhood years, not appreciating why.

  He was pretty sure now it had been a form of resistance to really embracing his adult life. He’d never felt confident enough to step up to it, retreating back to the safety of comforts from the past.

  He’d accidentally spent the last ten years in limbo, afraid to move on.

  But Dair had changed all that.

  Robin had mercilessly culled a good two-thirds of his junk, only keeping items that genuinely brought him joy. But the rest he’d had let go, as now he was no longer shackled to the idea of a younger, unbroken Robin.

  He was the new and improved Robin of the present, who didn’t have to run from his past any longer. He and Dair were making memories together, already far eclipsing the time Robin had spent doubting his self-worth thanks to his no-good ex-boyfriend.

  And where better to settle down for the next stage in their lives than the home Robin had never wanted to leave?

  Their new apartment in the more recently developed area of Pine Cove was small and only rented, but it was all theirs. It had been Dair’s idea to come back to where they had fallen in love and really start their lives as a couple. Robin had needed a little convincing, but when he was absolutely sure Dair wasn’t just doing this to make him happy – that Pine Cove would make his heart sing too – they’d immediately begun looking for a place.

  What had made the decision even easier was the news that Mac was a thing of the past. Af
ter the incident on the lake, he’d been released from police custody. Robin didn’t want to waste any more time on him by pressing charges, even though he probably deserved it. But this was part of Robin living in the present and looking toward the future. Mac was his past, and Robin wasn’t squandering another second on him. Thankfully, though, Mac had been happy to play the victim and blame everyone but himself for events, then apparently moving to Portland. Robin wasn’t going to let Mac stop him from coming back to Pine Cove again, but he had to admit life was far more pleasant here without him there.

  Dair had found no trouble in locating an auto shop searching for an extra pair of hands. The old place hadn’t cared particularly when he’d walked, seeing as Robin had been right and they hadn’t paid Dair for the time he’d taken off. One of the first things Robin had done when they’d returned from Pine Cove the first time was pay off Dair’s credit card bill. He wasn’t going to start their relationship on an uneven footing. Dair soon started making his own money again, and Robin’s conscience was clear.

  The new garage had been thrilled with Dair’s experience, offering him a position on the spot. Robin had been more anxious about his own job prospects, but he quickly discovered that a software and website developer in a town like this could be kept busy for years as an independent contractor. Pretty much every business – from the high school and the outdoor center to the dozens of offices and shops – could all do with a software upgrade or custom website created for them.

  Robin’s family were ecstatic at the news. When Robin had Skyped Jay to tell him, he’d cried, which had made Robin cry. Then they’d both told each other off for making the other a mess. Having his twin be a ten-minute drive down the road brought Robin a unique kind of happiness. This was how it was supposed to be.

  His mom was overjoyed that her wayward fledgling had come back to her. Even only after being here a few weeks, family dinners were already a regular occurrence. She’d almost killed them at Thanksgiving with the monstrous meal she’d whipped up.

  Kestrel kept complaining she was going to get fat, but Robin had a hard time believing her complaints when she spent every second she could wriggling around on the floor with Smudge. Robin had it on good authority that their parents were getting her a puppy of her own for Christmas. He couldn’t wait to see the look on her face.

  Robin and Dair’s fur babies were playing chase between the piles of cardboard boxes, the final lot to be delivered from the storage place they had used to tide them over during the move. The two of them continued to hug and laugh as Smudge did his best to corral the cats, but they were too nimble for him, leaping up on top of the boxes and out of the pup’s reach. Old Jimmy was asleep on their bed, already accustomed to his new house.

  Yep, everything was falling easily into place.

  Robin’s only real concern in the end had been Peyton. It was a fair drive between Seattle and Pine Cove, but he didn’t need to have worried. As soon as he and Dair had worked up the courage to tell her their plans, she’d laughed and said she was already looking for job opportunities at Pine Cove Memorial. “There’d be nothing left to do around here without you losers!” she’d loudly proclaimed, having correctly guessed their intentions. She was good at that, it seemed. Once she’d been reassured Pine Cove also had a decent Thai restaurant, she was completely sold.

  For all the jokes, Robin was relieved. He and Dair hadn’t taken the decision to move back to Robin’s hometown lightly. He had been scared it would drive a wedge between him and his best friend. But she’d jumped at the chance for a change of scenery.

  For some reason, Robin’s sister Ava had been mildly horrified at the idea. That confused Robin.

  “I thought you liked her?” he’d asked last week at dinner when he’d let the rest of the family know.

  Ava had immediately tipped over the salt. “I do – I mean, I guess she’s all right. She’s your friend. What do I care?” Then she’d gone to wash her motorcycle. At nine o’clock at night.

  Robin just hoped everything would be okay by Christmas, when Peyton got to town. If she couldn’t find a place of her own by the time she started her new job, she was going to crash with Robin and Dair – hence the sudden need to unpack and finally make their apartment presentable.

  Robin had been making excuses that he’d been too busy with work to properly sort everything out. Then Dair had gently reminded him it was that excuse that had stopped Robin from dating for most of his twenties and had almost stopped him going to his reunion.

  From getting together with Dair.

  He was more than likely avoiding embracing the start of his new life, afraid in case it might not work out. But that was no way to live. Robin refused to fall into that same trap again and had called the storage place immediately to get all the rest of their boxes delivered that morning. They had been doing okay living out of a couple of suitcases the past few weeks, but now they were going to turn this house into a home.

  “I’m still not convinced we needed a second bedroom,” Robin said with a rueful laugh. They were sitting on the floor of the spare room, tackling some of the more obscure boxes. “I really don’t have that much more stuff anymore.”

  Dair shrugged and pushed another box Robin’s way. “Just thinking about the future,” he said somewhat cryptically.

  That was his favorite expression now, Robin had noticed. It made his head swim and his heart ache with happiness. The fact that Dair took it as a given that they just had a long future to look forward to together. They’d already booked a vacation to Palm Springs in the new year and talked about saving for a house once they were settled in town. Real, grown-up stuff.

  Of course, Robin wasn’t entirely grown up still. Where would the fun be in that?

  He let out a laugh so loud it made Smudge bark. But the box that Dair had pushed in front of Robin had contained one single item.

  The enormous koala Dair had won Robin at the reunion fair.

  “Oh, hello, you,” said Robin warmly. He pulled the koala out of the box and hugged him to his chest. When he looked over, Dair was smiling at him. Robin shook his head. “So, what?” he said with a laugh. “The spare room is for him?”

  Dair shrugged, biting his lip and casting his eyes down, suddenly shy. “Or someone about his size. Maybe. One day.”

  Robin’s heart skipped a beat. He placed the koala carefully on the floor, then scooched over to hug Dair’s side. “Like kids?”

  They hadn’t talked about this. Robin knew from one of his very first conversations with Dair that he wanted children – that it was make or break for him in a relationship.

  Robin was aware that since they’d started dating, Dair had never mentioned it.

  Robin had been waiting for it, though. The day when Dair would ask the question that could define them as a couple. Robin had almost brought it up himself, but it was Dair’s place to ask, when he was ready.

  Because Robin already knew the answer.

  He’d always known the answer.

  Dair took in a slow, steady breath, sounding like he was preparing himself. “Yeah. Kids. If that might be something you’d want?”

  He finally looked up. Robin was smiling and he saw the hint of relief flutter across Dair’s face. “Yes,” Robin said with absolute conviction. “It’s my dream to have kids. I want a family.” He looked around at all the fur babies, then back to Dair. “A bigger family. Like I grew up in. Full of love.”

  Dair’s brown eyes were shining. He pulled Robin into a tight hug, rubbing his back. “If we ever had a family, it would be overflowing with love.”

  Robin grinned, angling himself so he could see Dair’s face again. “It already is.”

  They kissed on the floor, surrounded by everything they needed to begin the rest of their lives together. And for the first time ever, Robin truly believed he stood a chance of being loved forever, by someone he loved more than anything in the world.

  It may have started out fake, but in the end, Dair Epping was the best
and most real thing to ever happen to Robin Coal. He had come along and smashed that box in his chest, where Robin had tried to hide how he really felt. Not just his crush for Dair, but his feelings on the whole world.

  Now love had set him free.

  And he was never going back.

  * * *

  Thank you for reading Robin and Dair’s story! If you would like to be the first to know when the next Pine Cove book is coming out, as well as read several awesome and totally FREE stories, please sign up to my newsletter! Emails will only be sent occasionally and you can unsubscribe at any time.

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  Thank you to: my beta readers John and Mum; editors Meg and Tanja; cover artist AngstyG; cheerleaders Ed, Amelia, Cara, Lucy, Susi and Piper; loving husband; and fur babies Arya and Tyrion.

  About the Author

  HJ Welch is a contemporary MM romance author living in London with her husband and two balls of fluff that occasionally pretend to be cats. She began writing at an early age, later honing her craft online in the world of fanfiction on sites like Wattpad. Fifteen years and over a million words later, she sought out original MM novels to read. She never thought she would be any good at romance, but once she turned her hand to it she discovered she in fact adored it. By the end of 2016 she had written her first book of her own, and in 2017 she achieved her lifelong dream of becoming a fulltime author.

  Safe Harbor is the first book in her Pine Cove series. She also writes contemporary British MM romance as Helen Juliet.