by Madeline Fay
I want more. It's like a drug, the need to keep shooting up until I have my fill. If I was to have an addiction, this would be it. Logan's cock. Funny how I have feelings for him without knowing him but it feels... normal, which is new for me.
I can't think straight, my body shaking, my knees knock together as he places his hands on my shoulders and pushes me to the ground in a silent command. He runs the pad of his thumb over my bottom lip, not anything but everything with his eyes that say he wants me. The cooling water runs over my face, making me blink rapidly up at him as I wait for his instructions. Can this never stop? I want to feel, to be able to know what it feels like to be wanted and desired without it being forced.
Logan steps forward, releasing my bottom lip, and waits for me to make up my mind if I want to suck him off or not. I think of how he just made me see stars, gave me pleasure for the first time in my life, and is patiently waiting without making me do shit that I'm uncomfortable with. I think this guy deserves an award and it's going to be my first time sucking on a cock that I put in my mouth without it shoving past my tightly shut lips. Breathing through my nose, I slowly open my mouth wide until the corner of my lips burn and sit back on my heels with a shiver diving down my spine in delight at his grunt of approval. He steps closer, looking down at my upturned face with his teeth clenched before smiling in arrogance. Can he tell I've never done this before? Yeah, we can't have that. I'll show him just how good I can be.
Without a warning, I lean forward and take half of him into my mouth, my lips stretching with a pleasurable burn around his length. He hisses out a breath and weaves his fingers through my hair in a tight hold. It shouldn't feel good but it does. I draw back slowly to swirl my tongue around him like a lollipop, lapping at the taste of our combined passion with an eagerness that has him thrusting his hips to get back into my mouth. With short, teasing bobs, I quickly take him whole in one go until he hits the back of my throat. I feel his cock jump on my tongue as I swallow, humming in pleasure and pulling back slightly before going back down on him until he's thrusting into my mouth with unabandoned control. With a guy who loves control, power... to see him come undone turns me on to the point that I hardly recognize myself. I look up at him through my lashes to see him already staring down at me with his lips parted just before his head tilts back. He lets out a loud groan that echoes around the shower and starts to come in thick ropes down my throat. I breathe through my nose, my eyes watering as I try not to gag as he forces his hips forward. Jets of cum coat my tongue that I quickly swallow and pull back until just the tip of him is left in my mouth, I lick him completely clean. He steps back on a stumble, his fists clenched at his side and I'm surprised by the cruel expression on his face as he stares down at me.
“How much?” He asks, his expression smooths out until it’s impossible to read him.
On shaking legs, I stand up with a gasp, backing up the angrier he gets as the silence eats its way between us.
“How much, what?” My voice comes out small, shaken, and I want to slap myself at how vulnerable I sound.
Weak.
His face twists into a smile that has me shrinking inside myself because it’s straight up ignorant and nasty.
“How much do I owe you? I mean it wasn’t the best I’ve ever had, but I’m sure if you keep practicing sucking dick you’ll get better at it.” He shrugs, turning off the shower, and opens the stall door while grabbing a towel to dry off as I stand there with water dripping down my body.
Owe me? As in… no he can’t possibly mean as a cheap prostitute? The possessive ownership when he dirty talked in my ear, the control he handed over even when he was in charge allowed me to let go of everything, to just be. Please don’t take this one good moment away from me!
Don’t ruin this!
Tears gather at the corner of my eyes but I quickly blink them away before he can see and straighten my spine because I won’t be treated as if that meant nothing when I know he felt the same connection I was grabbing with desperate fingers. If he wants to start a war, then so be it. I’m done being the person left at the curb, treated like garbage and someone forgettable. He won’t forget me after this, I’ll be his every thought every morning and before he falls asleep, while I’ll forget he ever existed in the first place.
"That was free, only because I couldn't stand the desperate stench coming off of you. That was a pity fuck, asshole." I'm proud of myself for how emotionless I sound, the evidence of pain gone from me even though it feels like a hole was punched through my chest and I'm still bleeding.
I step out of the shower without even bothering to look at him, walking naked to my guest bedroom door with my head held high. The silent prayer coming from my lips goes unnoticed by him, I catch his expression in the mirror as I pass by. If looks could kill, I'd be six feet under already and rotting in an unmarked stone cold grave.
Don't cry, don't let him see how damaged you really are.
I'm already in the doorway when his quiet voice reaches me, knowing I've been marked and targeted as a threat.
"I wouldn't get too comfortable, baby girl, people around here end up disappearing without a trace. I'll be watching and I will find out why you're really here." His tone says it all, he won't hesitate to kill me even though he just fucked me.
What kind of world have I stepped into? After leaving one full of violence behind, it seems to follow me no matter where I go. The door slams behind me as he stomps off to his room, his anger seeping into my bones with a chill. I'm not going to die after finally fighting back. I'll find out why Doris sent me here, then I'm leaving like the devil is whipping at my heels.
Nicky
"Do not disgrace this family, Son. You do your job and watch out for your little, damaged sister. You would do well to remember that. You can leave now." Jin, head of the family and gang of the Triads; the most feared criminal gang in downtown Chinatown, and also known as my father. He orders me away without looking up from the supply of cocaine on his desk as he weighs each wrapped package. He passes the drugs to the two girls who are down to their underwear without blinking an eye. It’s normal to see half naked woman around here, human trafficking isn’t anything new and it really disgusts me how he treats people. Am I going to turn into him by the time the family business is placed in my hands? Will I treat my sister as if she’s a disgrace or when it’s time for me to claim a bride…will my heart be so cold that not even she can break through?
His order is a daily reminder that if I fail my family, I better start running because if I'm caught, I'll just be another body found in a dumpster behind one of the diners in Chinatown.
"Yes, Father." I bow at the waist and straighten when he clears his throat in a dismissal.
Quickly spinning on my heels to exit his office, I keep my facial expression neutral as I pass his guards that glare daggers at me.
Don’t show your anger, no emotions.
I hate when my father talks about my baby sister that way, she can’t help that she has Tourettes… it’s what makes her special and unique in my eyes.
I shake off the rage creeping to the surface, ignoring the way my father’s guards place a hand on their guns. They would like nothing better than to see me dead, not liking the idea of me taking my father’s place one day, making me in charge. I'd rather not have anything to do with it either, but when you're forced into this world, there is no escaping. You're born into it and you die in it.
I glance at my watch, checking the time only to see that I'm late to head over to Logan's. I received a short text last night from him telling me to come right over in the morning, and that shit was going down. At first, I thought it was about the package of drugs from the station downtown that went wrong, but he would have told me to come over right away last night if that was the case. It's something else, once again this world doesn't ever sleep and it's one thing after another. I’ve known Logan since elementary school, our mutual brutal households tying us together, and our friendship never bug
ged our fathers. They practically pushed our friendship the moment they found out. Father says that the crime families should stay together, good for business, but to never forget that everyone is an enemy and to trust no one, even your best friends. Tey and Dalton have had their fair share of cruelty, it’s what brought us all together.
Swinging my car keys around my finger, I finally relax with a grin on my face as my sweet precious comes into view under the parking garage. My racing machine, she's a beauty and the only woman I will ever need in my life without the mess that comes with it. Sliding onto the leather seat, I shudder with the pressure off my shoulders as she roars to life underneath me. I need to race, and very soon, before I lose control... again.
Racing out of the garage, I pass restaurants decorated with bright colors, of golds and reds with the smell of food heavy in the air. Streets pass in a blur as I weave through Los Angeles traffic, shifting the clutch to speed down the highway, the engine purring like a kitten. This is heaven. Unfortunately, all too soon, I'm pulling up to Logan's father's mansion and killing the engine to sit in the driveway for a couple of seconds to collect my thoughts before stepping into chaos as usual.
With a sigh, I slide out of the car slowly, and shut the door behind me. I jog up the steps with my sunglasses shielding my eyes and the deepening bruise covering my left eye. Martial arts last night was brutal, my father was yelling in the background for his instructor to push me harder, hit harder, until every muscle in my body was straining. I don't bother knocking on the front door, I just let myself in like I own the damn place. I walk into silence, only to see Tey laying in the living room on the rug as he stares up at the ceiling with a wicked smile on his face. What is that crazy fool up to now?
"Nicky, my man, you won't believe what we have hiding in this house. Spectacular beauty and I can't wait to play with her," Tey mutters happily under his breath, swirling his finger rings around and around as he continues to grin widely as if he just hit the jackpot.
Wait, did he just say her? Fingering my sunglasses, I take them off, and run my fingers through my straight black hair to get the escaped strands out of my eyes. I quickly tie my shoulder length hair back on top of my head while looking around for said female. She must be something since she caught Tey’s attention. He gets bored easily.
Casually leaning against the stone fireplace that takes up half the wall, I hear a click of heels on the marble flooring and the muttering of Logan's father as he rounds the corner with his wife right by his side. I used to know his first wife, she was like a mother to me, even more so than my own who is a stone cold, frigid bitch but I'm still not sure about his new wife. Their wedding happened so fast, it seemed like moments after his first wife, Helen, was lowered into the ground, and Logan has a hatred towards Diana that even has me wary. I'll back up my best friend, heck I'll even hide a body for him if he needs me too, but the way he's grown heartless like my own father keeps me on my toes, constantly in fear that we'll really lose him one day to this cruel world.
"Nicky, what are you doing here?" A shaking, Diana, reaches the couch and practically drops into the cushions with her face pale and withdrawn.
What is wrong with the Chief's wife now? God, she’s dramatic.
Her normally straight blonde bob is sticking up in all angles, her eyes circled by dark shadows as if she hadn't slept, and the faraway look in her brown eyes has me glancing back and forth between her and Franco.
"I was asked to stop by, business," I answer with a shrug and don't say anything else because she doesn't know about the side business aspect... Well, I suspect she knows and she just turns a blind eye to it.
The way she ignores the crime part of our lifestyle has me always watching her more closely because only someone who grew up in a world full of violence wouldn't blink if a man was shot in front of you in cold blooded murder. It's hard to trust her and with reason, of course. If Logan asked me to help him dump her body into the ocean, I wouldn't even question the reason why. She wasn't around when we were kids and she's an outsider that may know too much already. Hell, my own father has killed men for less, turning your back on your enemies gets you killed and that's what happens when you couldn't care less if someone dies or not.
I look down at my knuckles, seeing the scars healed over and over from being reopened as the wooden cane snapped across my fingers for discipline at age eight. That was the year I started to understand how the world can stand still while pain seems to make you suffer in silence. I'm very skilled at how to torture someone, to get information out of them, and that's not only with the techniques I possess with the computer. I'm a hacker by heart, it's set in my bones, and you can't hide a single thing from me.
"Ah, the real fun is about to begin. Good morning, sugar plum! You are looking refreshed, nice shower?" Tey turns his head towards the stairs with a gleeful smirk and licks his wide lips at whoever he's staring at.
I pull my gaze away from his mouth, which seems to become harder and harder these days, and glance sharply towards the staircase at the sound of soft, padded feet coming down along with the pounding steps of a pissed off Logan. I'd recognize that sound anywhere, he's always moved in anger and it's gotten worse over the years, the more Franco assigned us jobs on the street that someone our age shouldn't be doing. My gaze lands on Logan first, seeing his eyes already hardened into a pissed off glare at the person in front of him. I follow his gaze and my heart skips a small beat before pounding in sync to match her footsteps. A chuckle sounds beside me but I'm hardly paying attention. Dark brown eyes are staring into mine, studying me as I hold perfectly still leaning against the mantel. I'm also afraid to move, the fear of scaring her away like a baby deer because she keeps glancing around like she's about to make a run for it.
Don't run, please for the love of God, don't run. Men like me and my brothers love a good chase, and who knows what would happen once she's caught. Deep inside I'm kind of hoping she bolts.
"Tey, shut your mouth for once in your life,” Franco says in exasperation, leveling a hard look at the fool who only grins wider before Franco glances back at the girl. “Tillie, take a seat. This is going to be a lot for you to process and it's probably best if you're sitting down." Franco warns in a commanding voice to do as he says, gesturing to the couch opposite of his wife.
I think deep down he really does care for Diana, but something inside of him died when Helen was murdered and the fucking killer was never caught. That changes a man, makes him dead inside but there's still a spark for him to care for his new wife, as he treats her like fragile glass and maybe she is. Who knows? I still don’t trust the bitch. She came off the streets basically, a hoe looking for money, and she trapped Franco with her looks and fake lies. Now she has it all; a big house, money at her disposal, and all she has to do is fuck Logan’s father to keep him happy. A win/win for her.
“Listen, I’m thankful for you welcoming me into your home but maybe it was a mistake coming here. I’ll show myself out the door,” Tillie says in a soft whisper, having me straighten from the mantel and taking a step in her direction but Logan beats me to her.
He doesn’t say a word, just grabs her elbow and steers her to the couch, releasing her as if her touch burned him before taking up a stance on the other side of the mantel from me. Very interesting. Who is this girl? Dressed in black leggings, a purple crop top that shows off her smooth stomach just below her belly button that I find oddly cute, and she’s barefoot… Did she plan on leaving without anything else? What is going on? My arms ripple with the need to choke answers out of someone if they don’t start talking. I cross my arms over my chest and see her glance at me out of the corner of her soulful eyes before I look away bored. I feel something spark in my chest that surprises me. I cut myself off from everyone except my tight knit group of friends, but just one look at her face tells it all to me.
Pain, lots of pain that never seems to go away, no matter how much you smile; it’s sketched in deep lines around your eyes. I see it all
and it makes me mad. I don’t like feeling anything because if you can’t feel anything then nothing can get to you. I’ll just pretend she isn’t here. Just another girl who means nothing.
I wonder why she was limping slightly before sitting down, and is that a dragon tattoo on her lower back?
“Why are you here?” Franco demands, pulling me out of my musings as he stares down at Tillie.
For some reason, the thought of him killing her doesn’t sit well with me and I can see I’m not the only one as Tey finally sits up from the floor, looking tense. Logan doesn’t fool me as he stares out the front windows, but I can see his trigger finger twitching. This is bad, very bad and I’m really glad Dalton isn’t here. The man sees something he likes and just takes it without asking. He’d eat this girl up and spit her out without breaking a sweat. I could be wrong because the hard glint in this girl’s eyes says a different story. She pushes her shoulders back and flickers her gaze over to a quiet Diana without looking away. My gaze swings back and forth. I’m missing something here.
“I was sent here. I was told that I’d be able to find something to help me,” she says, clenching her fist tight in her lap.
“Who told you that?” Diana finally speaks, her voice has a small tremble and she leans heavily against Franco.
“I told you already, Doris did. She didn’t give me any details. Just shoved your address into my hand and told me to get away until I ended up here. How do you know her? Were you a sweetbutt too?” Tillie asks softly, her shoulders stiffening as Diana wavers on the couch.
“I-I don’t know how this is possible. It can’t be,” Diana whispers under her breath and stands, making her way towards a stiff Tillie who eyes her warily.
