Silent Secrets

by Nikki Bolvair

  I shouldered my bag and asked my question, “I was wondering if you knew the process of adopting?”

  Mrs. Shambles chuckled. Mr. White's brows rose, eyes wide, his lips parted. “Why?”

  “Can’t you see?” Mrs. Shambles stated, gesturing my way. “She’s grown attached to one of them.”

  I flustered as everyone in the room paused, probably wondering about the same question and interested in where this was going. “I was just curious,” I denied. “My...” I hesitated, wondering what I would call them, but to make it less awkward I said, “I wanted to find out for my parents. To see if maybe adopting would be something they would want to do.” The two of them nodded slowly.

  “Well,” Mrs. Shambles started with a gentle smile. “First, you have to find an agency.”

  Mr. White tapped his papers on the table trying to straighten them before putting them away. “Then you’d have to go through their process usually,” he said shrugging, glancing over to Mrs. Shambles with a knowing glance then back to me. “You’d have to get a fingerprint clearance card, a home study—”

  “What’s a home study?” I wondered, interrupting him.

  “It’s where a person comes out to your home and ask about your history: your home life, your parents, you. It’s to see if adoption would be good for fit for your family,” Mrs. Shambles answered.

  I nodded slowly, looking down at the table, taking it all in. “And after that?” I questioned softly.

  “Well, after that, you’ll need to go through some classes and get a physical done for each member of the household and then get a lawyer,” she went on.

  “So pretty much the same as guardianship,” I concluded, glancing up to the two of them.

  Mr. White searched my face, his eyes narrowing. “Yeah, similar but it’s more in depth, Ms. Daniels.”

  “And cost? What does that run?”

  Mr. White reached into his bag pulling out a card and handing it to me. “Take this and give it to your”—he paused then continued slowly—“give it to your parents. This is someone that can help them with any questions concerning adoption.”

  “Okay, sure,” I said taking it and putting it into my bag.

  “And, Faith, I think you...” Mrs. Shambles started as I turned away. I paused, tensing, shifting to look at them again. None of my teachers had ever used my first name before. As the others started to filter out of the room, I waited to see what more they had to say.

  Mrs. Shambles had brown hair piled into a bun on top of her head that gave me the impression that she once was a librarian in a past life. Maybe be a little bit older than Mr. White.

  Mr. White was probably in his early forties if not fifties, and his hair was more of a dirty blonde than brown with a lean build.

  I wondered if Mrs. Shambles had grandkids or if Mr. White was a lonely man with no wife at home. I focused on him briefly. Why else would he put up with late hours? Why did he teach what he teaches, and why did he work at SSK? What was he—

  “Faith,” he said yet again, trying to grab my attention. He looked worried, his mouth twisted in a grimace.

  “Yes?” I said harsher than I meant to.

  His gaze softened. “Don’t get attached. These kids, rarely do they come up for adoption.”

  My heart pounded painfully in my chest as I gave him a quick nod, glancing over to Mrs. Shambles before I rushed out to the van. I knew that, but having him say it when it was exactly what I was thinking... it was hard to swallow.

  When we got back to the college, Lincoln was there waiting for me as he had been before. I was still feeling down about what Mr. White had said, but my spirits lifted when I saw Lincoln greeting me with the same truck and a brilliant smile. He was the perfect example of boyish charm. I sighed. That's right, driving lessons tonight again.

  Instead of having me hop in the passenger seat, Lincoln handed me the keys and gave me a wicked grin.

  “It’s your turn, Sweetheart. It time for a drive on the streets.”

  I hesitated to take the keys. “Lincoln, I don’t think I can.”

  “You can, and you will,” he stated, propelling me toward the driver side. Opening the door, he helped me inside then he took a hold of my wrist and placed the truck keys in my hands. I glanced up into his crystal blues that seared into my soul. “You got this,” he said. “I’m with you. So, don’t worry. It’s all good, got it?”

  I nodded soberly, taking his faith in me and assurances and making them my own. I could do this. No, I would do this. I just hoped a cop wouldn’t pull us over. It would be hard to explain why I was driving when I didn't have a permit.

  Lincoln gave me an encouraging smile as if he knew what had just gone on in my head and leaned in, giving me a brief kiss, before shutting my door and jumping into the passenger seat.

  He coached me all the way. Told me what roads to take—roads I hadn’t ever been on before—and encouraged me to go slow, take it easy, or to speed up.

  When I realized where we were going, I grew nervous. “Lincoln, I don’t think I can do the highway.”

  His hand reached across the space between us and he laid it on my thigh, distracting me. “Don’t worry, it’s not all that bad, and it’s late. Not a whole lot of people are out.”

  “I don’t think—”

  “Come on, Faith. You can do this,” he said, giving my thigh a squeeze. My nerves jumbled at the movement.

  I sighed again, taking the on-ramp that headed north with my hands tightening on the wheel. My shoulders tensed even more as I merged onto the highway into barren traffic. Lincoln's hand slipped higher on my thigh, his warmth burning through my jeans and into my skin. My breath caught. He was distracting me, and he was right. This late at night wasn’t too bad. He navigated me to take an off-ramp about thirty minutes into our drive and to ease left. It was then that I realized where we were going.

  “Isn’t this the way to Uncle Denny’s?” I asked, pretty sure that my assumption was right.

  He murmured, “Yes,” glancing my way, but I didn’t dare take my eyes off the road. “It’s a surprise.”

  My shoulders loosened as curiosity won over. My mind filled with question and possibilities as I became giddy. It was about time I had some Lincoln moments. I couldn’t wait to see what he had planned.

  Chapter 5

  I took the road that Lincoln had me turn on from the highway until I made the right turn onto his Uncle’s farm road. The house on the hill was lit with a welcoming glow, and Lincoln directed me toward it. I briefly glanced toward the lake which was glowing with the Tiki torches like the last time we were here. There seemed to be something else down there as well, but I couldn’t make it out.

  When I parked in front of the two-story farmhouse, Linc asked me to wait because he just needed to grab something. While he was inside, his aunt came out, and I rolled my window down for her.

  “Well hello, missy,” she greeted fondly as she rested her arms on the ledge of my window. “The last time you were here was with Kayden and pretty beat up. I’m glad you came back, this time, unharmed.”

  “It wasn’t Kayden’s fault,” I defended, unsure where this conversation was going.

  She chuckled. “Honey, you don’t have to defend Kayden. I know that boy well enough. He might be reckless and a little cocky, but putting you in danger would be the last thing on his mind. He probably didn’t expect you to be so much like him. You’re a fighter. And because of that, you’re going to drive Lincoln crazy.”

  My brows pressed downwards, confused. “What? Why?”

  “Because that boy is all about control.”

  “Ahhh...” I didn’t know what to say to that. Sure Lincoln was a little overprotective, and when we made out, he did hold down my hands—oh. My eyes went wide. Oh. Shit.

  I swallowed. “He’s Dominant.”

  “Yes, he is. Just like his—”

  “Birth control,” I popped out, not wanting to hear the rest of what she had to say. Hell, woman. Let's not and
say we didn’t! I could certainly go without knowing her husband's preferences in the bedroom. I think my ears were bleeding.

  Lincoln’s aunt paused, then she snorted as laughter erupted. “Oh, honey, you should have thought of that beforehand.”

  I tensed then reassured her. “No. I’m covered.” I cleared my throat. “Just thought... um... yeah, never mind.”

  “So...my nephews treating you right?”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  She picked up her hand, waving it dismissively. “Honey, I don’t do well with all that ‘ma’am’ stuff. You call me Aunt Marlene.”

  “Ok, thank you.”

  The two of us briefly shared an awkward pause before the front door opened once again and Lincoln came out with one of his uncles holding onto a cooler.

  “What are they doing?” I asked Aunt Marlene.

  She shook her head and patted my hand. “You’ll have to see,” she said secretively. “It’s no fun knowing. Have a good time but not too much,” she said, pulling away from the truck as Lincoln climbed inside.

  “Thanks, Aunt Marlene. We’ll be inside before midnight,” Lincoln stated as the uncle who had helped him went to her side.

  “Keep your shoes on, darlin’," his uncle suggested with amusement.

  I now knew who it was. “I’ll try, Denny.”

  “A-A-Ah," he said teasingly. “It’s Uncle Denny to you.”

  “Bye, Uncle,” Lincoln growled as I chuckled.

  “See ya later, son.”

  “We’ll have crepes in the morning,” Aunt Marlene hinted.

  Were we staying the night?

  I turned to Linc and noticed he looked happy. “You ready?”

  I was curious as to what for. “I guess. What about Brady?”

  “Don’t worry about him.” Lincoln said, taking my hand. “I talked to him already. You’re mine until tomorrow afternoon.”

  “Really? Brady agreed to let me spend the night with you?” I asked carefully, putting the truck into reverse.

  “Yeah. My Aunt and Uncle are here, and Brady thought it would be a good idea.”

  “Huh?”

  Lincoln let go of my hand and encouraged me to keep backing out of the driveway then put his hand on my thigh, warming it once again.

  Despite the past few weeks being a little bit cooler, tonight seemed to be on the warmer side.

  “So what are we doing?” I asked as he pointed me to where he wanted me to go.

  “You’ll just have to find out.”

  I parked close to the fire pit and felt proud of myself for my driving skills, until Lincoln asked me to turn it around and back it up.

  “I don’t feel comfortable doing that,” I told him nervously.

  “You'll be fine,” he encouraged. “There's really nothing you could hurt here anyways.”

  Yeah right, I thought, eyeing the pond, dock, and fire pit.

  “What if I back up into the fire pit?”

  “We’ll build a new one.”

  “Lincoln!” I said, exasperated, twisting in my seat to face him fully. “What about Kayden’s truck? I don't want to have to explain that I wrecked it!” I put the truck in park and pulled the keys out, dangling them in front of him. “This is my second lesson. You do it.”

  He pursed his lips and then sighed, giving in. “Alright then, hop on out and stand by the fire pit. I’ll do it.”

  I smiled and leaned in, giving him a sweet kiss, then I pulled back, whispering, “Thank you.”

  Linc's hand curled around my neck, dragging me back to him and his mouth as they continued their exploration, branding his name on my lips. He tugged me into his lap so that I was straddling him, my knees on either side of the bench seat. I held onto his shoulders. His hand stayed on my neck while the other one curved around my back, slipping beneath my shirt to rest at the dip in my spine. I moaned, curling my fingers through his hair, pressing my core into him.

  Both hands tightened as his mouth slipped from mine, nipping my chin then dropping down to the hollow of my neck. “Faith.”

  I was strung as tight as a wire and didn’t want it to stop. I moved my hips once again. “You’re addictive, Faith," he groaned with a desperate tone to his voice. His tilted back up to meet the sensitive tip of my ear. “I had a plan”—his hand at my back rubbed soothingly—“but I’ll give you a choice,” he whispered. “I can either make come quickly with just my fingers right now”—my breath hitched as my fingers tightened in his hair—“or we can go as planned." His hand slid out from my shirt to smooth it down before wrapping his arms around my waist to grip my hip. “And when the time is right, we’ll do more than just a quick fix fuck. We’ll take our time, explore each other and build up this ache before we let it free. No penetration, but lovemaking just the same.”

  My heart hammered with indecision. I really wanted to come now, but what he was promising, I wanted that too. I couldn't help but feel that both of us were playing a dangerous game. Lust, love, infatuation. How long before each one of them held my heart? Tyler already did. Kayden and Linc... I was close to being already gone.

  I let myself relax, dropping my head to his shoulder. There was nothing that I could do. My once hardened heart was cracking even more. I wanted him. I wanted them all. Now. Here. But I was also grateful that it was just Lincoln and me. This was our time. Did I want to taint this moment with a quickie? No. I wanted a chance to take it slow. To show him without words that he meant something to me. To explore him, through touches, kisses, and moans.

  I swallowed, calming down but still aroused by the way we were sitting, along with my thoughts and his touches. “I can wait. I want that with you.”

  Hands gently curved around the side of my head, lifting it so my eyes met his. A small smile played on his lips as I blushed and shoved his shoulder.

  “Good,” he said with a kiss. “I wanted to take my time and taste you anyways.” That shocked me as he gave me a pat on my butt. “Jump out and wait by the fire pit. I’ll turn the truck around.”

  I did as I was told and watched him back up the truck. When he parked relatively close to the fire pit, enough not to burn anything but sufficiently to enjoy it, Lincoln immediately rounded to the back of the truck and let the tailgate down, taking out a cooler.

  I walked over to the tailgate, peeking in the bed and noticed there were large plastic totes toward the back and the back of the truck bed looked like it had been cleaned.

  I helped Lincoln with a large gray tote, sliding it toward him. Then he put it on the ground followed by a black one and a few others. Were we camping again?

  The night glowed as the Tiki torches reflected off the pond. I stood, taking Lincoln's offered hand, and then jumped off the tailgate. I helped him open up the black box which I realized was an air mattress. I couldn’t contain the grin that escaped. I think I knew exactly what was going on here. I glanced up to Lincoln, smirking. “Are we sleeping outside?”

  Lincoln lifted his eyes, meeting mine, twinkling. “If you want to. But right now let’s work on the air mattress and get everything ready. Then we’ll see.”

  I agreed, “Okay, let's do this.”

  The two of us together were able to pump up the air mattress, and I quickly found out it was specifically designed for a truck bed. Whereas a typical air mattress was square, this one had cutouts on either side of it to fit between the wheel wells in the truck bed.

  Lincoln then opened another tote that held an off-white bed topper and some blankets.

  He had me spread the topper out, which gave the air mattress more of an 'at home mattress’ feel with the blankets I spread out. Linc then directed me to the back of the truck cab where some pillows were, and I was surprised I hadn't noticed them before. I guessed I was too worried about driving to see anything in the back. Taking them out, I couldn't help but notice that there were five of them. Three of them were the boys, and the other two seemed to be new, each with a purple pillow case; one dark one light.

  I couldn't help
but wonder if they had bought one of the purple ones for me since it was my favorite color.

  I brought them out and threw them into the back before noticing that soft music was playing. I turned and found Lincoln had gone over to the fire pit and was trying to light it. Off to the side on a log, his phone was hooked up to one of those portable speakers.

  I breathed in the scent of the pond and forest before shoving my hands into my pockets and heading over to him.

  I paused, off to the side just behind him, watching as the fire started to smolder and settle into a small flame. Linc added kindling to it to make it grow before he slid the first log into the flames, and the two of us watched it grow.

  “Are you hungry?”

  I shook my head. “Not right now.”

  Lincoln nodded, pulling away from the fire before tugging off his shirt. My eyes went wide at his impressive build. What was he doing? “Uh, Lincoln?”

  He turned giving me a sexy smirk. “Strip, Sweetheart.” He nodded toward the pond. “The weather is warm for once, and the water will be cooler than before.”

  Lincoln continued to tug off his shorts, making my heart thump my chest. I quickly followed his example, pulling off my own shirt and shorts in a hurry so I could join him. My insides were all jumbled up with excitement and the thrill of possibly getting caught.

  “Lincoln, are you sure we should be doing this?” I asked as my shorts dropped to my ankles. Kicking them away, I shivered, standing in just my underwear. I realized I was probably giving him quite a view. I had decided to wear a thong today. He was about to get an eyeful.

  “We’re good,” he said as his eyes roamed my body. I couldn’t help do the same thing with him. Muscles gleamed by firelight as he stood there in a pair of boxers that had a tent growing in the nether regions. I snorted at my thoughts. Nether regions? Get it together, Daniels. It’s an erection. A freaking big one by the looks of it. I bit my lip, folding my arms across my chest as I drew my gaze back to Linc’s.