As all three of them dragged me around the corner, there was a line of people waiting to get in. I stopped in my tracks, “Are you guys crazy?”
Kim, who was on one of my arms, and Carmen who was on the other, started laughing and pulling.
Mia started laughing, “Don’t worry, I know you won’t stand in long lines.”
We walked right up to the front entrance ahead of everyone and Mia gave her name, and we walked right in. I laughed, “ Well, Mia, I guess being on a television show does have its advantages.”
The music was so loud that you could barely hear yourself talk. When we walked into the main room, I stopped again. The place was huge, and there were wall-to-wall people on the dance floor.
The girls did it right though. They had a VIP table waiting for us which was, more or less, out of the crowd.
It took three drinks before Kim could talk me into dancing. Even though Kim loved it, we both felt like “fish out of water.” Most everyone there seemed to be in their early to late twenties, and modern dance wasn’t our thing. We had enough alcohol though, that very quickly we didn’t care.
When Kim and I would get done dancing, Carmen would immediately want to dance with me. When we were done, it was Mia’s turn.
Mia and Carmen danced with a couple of other people but soon they stopped, and I seemed to be their only dance partner.
The club rarely played slow songs, but when they did, Kim and I would take advantage of it. Then, when another slow song came up, Carmen asked if I wanted to dance.
When we got to the dance floor, I was pretty looped, but I do know how to slow dance well. A couple of times I pulled her tight, and I have to admit, she really felt good. Don’t misunderstand, I love Kim with all my heart and I would never be unfaithful to her, but I am a man.
Finally, I asked her, “Why are you wasting your time dancing with me? There are a lot of guys around here that are dying to dance with you. She looked me right in the eyes, “I’m dancing with the only person I want to dance with.” She then smiled and gave me a hug.
****
Kim calmed her own crying, “Yes Carmen, you saved my life.”
Carmen smiled, “I’m so glad.”
She gasped for air slightly, obviously in severe pain. Her eyes closed for a moment, then she opened them and looked up at both of us and said, “I love both of you very much.”
“We love you too,” Kim replied tearfully.
Carmen then looked over at me, and for the first time noticed that I was crying. She reached up wanting to take my hand. Kim took over applying pressure with the bandage, while I took Carmen’s hand with both of mine. She looked me in the eyes, saw the tears, and she gave me a sweet, sympathetic look. She gasped for air again and then somehow turned her sympathetic look into that sweet Carmen smile of hers, “I lo……,” and her hand went limp and her eyes closed.
August 18th- Johnson Farm: 11 miles east of Harrisonville, Mo
I woke up in a panic, breathing heavy and sitting straight up in bed. After I calmed down, I looked over at Kim to see if I woke her up, but she was still asleep. She had come in to lay down with me and we both fell asleep.
“This was the worst dream I’ve had yet. Many of the memories all in one dream.”
I looked outside, and it was dark. After the confrontation with Pine City, I was basically ordered to bed rest by Wit. The impact of the bullet hitting the magazine that saved my life badly bruised my left side and he suspected it cracked a couple of ribs. I put Mo in charge while I healed and tried to get my head on straight. Wit, being a retired First Sergeant was the obvious choice but being the medic, he wanted to stay free to concentrate on that duty and patrolling with Red looking for supplies. Plus, from our days in the Army together, Mo was always in charge when I wasn’t around.
Mike was still in charge of security and continued to make improvements.
Jake, Ben, and the Akers used the front end loader and dug a mass grave for those that were killed during the attack from Pine City. I understand that 38 were buried. It’s not something that we’re proud of; I’m just glad I didn’t have to take part in their burial. But when it came down to it, we were defending ourselves, and we gave them a couple of warnings. Still, how many of those people were being forced to be part of the attack? I just prayed that those that ran off were the ones that were being forced. As far as the one that shot Carmen, I would’ve preferred to let the vultures and coyotes eat his body.
Jake, Ben, and the Akers made contact with a representative of those remaining in Pine City and advised them about the burial and that if anyone wanted to claim one of the bodies, they’d be allowed to without any problems, but no one showed up. Later, they met with them again to take up water for anyone that needed it. Len had an old hand crank grinder, and he used it to grind up soybeans from his field and gave the people in town about 100 pounds to hold them over. Paul also took up ten squirrels, two deer, and five rabbits to add to the soybeans.
As I laid there next to Kim thinking of everything that had happened, someone started rapidly knocking on the door. I could hear what sounded like laughter by several people in the other room.
“Vince, Kim, are you awake?” Wit asked through the door.
“Yeah, come on in.”
Wit opened the door and excitedly proclaimed, “Carmen’s awake.”
When Carmen got shot, we immediately rushed her to the portable hospital bed at the house. Wit and Brandy worked on her for what seemed like hours but in reality, was only about an hour. Wit got the bullet out, but it did serious damage to her chest cavity and she lost a lot of blood. Brandy rigged up a system and Tag, who was also AB negative, donated as much blood as he could, but Carmen had been asleep for the last three and a half days.
Kim and I jumped up and ran into the back room where the bed was set up. Everyone had encircled her and was talking up a storm. Brandy was sitting next to the bed holding Carmen’s hand, and Mia was on the other side of her with a big smile on her face. Carmen looked wide awake and was talking plainly, even though you could tell she was in a lot of pain.
When we walked into the room, everyone smiled and cleared a path. When we saw Carmen, she was looking at us with that same sweet smile. Tears came pouring out of Kim’s eyes as she walked up and gave her a kiss on the cheek and grabbed her hand.
“Oh Carmen, you had us so worried.”
I walked up with tears in my eyes as well and gave her a kiss on the cheek. I couldn’t speak, all I could do was shake my head in amazement.
Carmen teared up, “Don’t you cry on me Vince; you’ll get me crying too.”
I wiped the tears from my eyes, “I’m not crying. I just woke up and had something in my eye.”
Mia said with a laugh, “Yeah, right.”
We all talked to her for some time, filling her in on what happened, and we kept repeating how she scared us half to death. Soon she was showing signs of pain and you could tell she needed to rest, so Brandy gave her a pain pill and told her to get some more sleep, then she ordered the rest of us to leave her alone.
Carmen looked at Brandy, “Let me talk to Kim and Vince alone for a minute, ok?”
“Ok but then you get some more rest.”
Everyone, including Wit and Brandy, walked out the back door so that we could have some privacy.
“Sorry I screwed things up the way I did. I know we shouldn’t have come up there but when I heard that you’d been shot I…..” and she started tearing up.
I interrupted her, “You’re damn right you shouldn’t have gone up there. I thought I taught you better than that.”
Kim with a guilty laugh remarked, “Yeah, I’m sure he’ll still have some choice words for both of us in the future.”
“So all this happened, and you didn’t even get shot?”
“Oh, I got shot alright, from being stupid, but luckily the magazines I carry in my vest saved me.”
She reached up to my side, “Are you alright?”
“I
’m a little bruised, and of course Wit’s being a mother hen. He’s had me stay on bed rest the last couple of days, but I’m fine. All that matters is you’re alright. Again, you gave us quite a scare.”
“I’m so sorry Vince.”
I squeezed her hand and smiled, “As long as you’re ok, that’s alright. I bet you never do it again.”
She wrenched with pain, “No, trust me; I won’t.
Vince, can I speak to both of you individually, starting with Kim?”
“Sure.” and I gave her a kiss on the cheek and walked outside with the rest of them.
After I had walked out, Carmen looked up and grabbed Kim’s hand, “I’m so glad you’re ok.” She started to cry, “I thought he was going to kill you.”
Kim looked at her with more tears of her own, “Carmen, you saved my life. You’re a hero. If it wasn’t for you, I probably would be dead. Thank you.”
“I’m just grateful you’re alright.” Then after a pause, she chuckled, “Could you see the look on the guy’s face when I said, “Please don’t hurt my wife? I guess I could’ve come up with something else, but I wanted to make sure you got the code.”
Kim chuckled, “No, I couldn’t see his face, but I bet it was classic. You probably shocked the heck out of him.”
“If it wouldn’t have been such a dangerous situation, I probably would’ve laughed.”
Carmen wrenched in pain again, and Kim told her that she needed to get some more sleep.
“No, listen. I just wanted to let you know how much I love you. You taught me so much, and you’re such a great friend.” She then hesitated, “I also want to thank you for being so understanding and letting me express my feelings openly about Vince. Very few people would have done that and would have thrown me out of their lives.”
Kim smiled sweetly, “But you didn’t have him like I know you really wanted him, did you?”
Carmen got an embarrassed smile on her face, “Well, maybe not.”
“Carmen, you’ve brought us both happiness. I know how much you love him, and I trust you. I also know how much Vince cares for you, but I know I can trust him also.”
“It had to be hard on you Kim. I mean, I’m not sure I could’ve handled it if I was in your place.”
“Yes, you would’ve. Under the same circumstances and how everything happened, I think you would have.”
“All of us had a special relationship, didn’t we?”
Kim squeezed her hand again, “Yes we do, and we always will have.”
Carmen wrenched with pain and her eyelids started getting heavy, “I love you, Kim. Maybe I better speak to Vince before this pain pill kicks in more.”
Kim walked out with a smile but with tears in her eyes looked up at me and said, “Good luck.”
I knew what that meant, so I gathered myself and walked in with a smile.
“Hi, girl.”
She held out her hand, and when I grabbed it, tears flowed from her eyes.
“I love you Vince. I have for a long time. There is a big part of me that wishes we could’ve had more.”
Trying to get her to smile, I said, “Well,….. I‘ve never really liked you very much. Don’t you know that I was just after your money?”
Her mouth dropped open, and she slapped my arm.
“Yeah, right, you wouldn’t even let me pay for dinner when we came out on visits.”
I squeezed her hand, “I love you too, I really do. I have to admit, I’ve had thoughts come to mind once or twice, that I’m sure even Kim wouldn’t have approved of.”
“You’d never mess around on Kim.”
I chuckled, “No, but I am a man. You know I’ve thought about it a couple of times. The first time was when you had me on the dance floor.”
“I have to admit; you felt pretty good to me too. That is, for you being such an old man.”
“Ouch!”
She laughed but then her eyes started drooping more.
“I’m going to let you sleep. We can continue this conversation later.”
“No, listen,” she pleaded in desperation. “I have to say this. I want to thank you for not only your love but for everything you’ve done for us. For all of us. Without you, so many of us wouldn’t have made it.”
“I honestly believe that all of us being together was meant to be.”
“You have a job to do Vince. Take care of everyone. You’re everyone’s leader, and they depend on you.”
“We all make it work. We all need each other. Just like we need you to heal up quickly and get back on patrol.”
She then said something that was so unlike Carmen. I knew she believed but other than reminding us to pray at dinner one time, she never spoke this way.
“Trust in God Vince.” I started to respond, but she looked me right in the eyes, “I love you. Always know that.”
Before I could say another word, she asked, “Can you send Brandy and Mia in here? I want to talk to them before I fall back asleep. That pain pill is really making me drowsy.”
I leaned down and gave her a light kiss on the lips. “Sure. I love you too and always will.” I winked at her then walked out the door and sent them in.
Mia and Brandy were with her for about five minutes, when Mia came back out and stated, “She fell asleep.”
One and a half weeks later
It had been almost two weeks since we had the confrontation with Orville and the crowd from Pine City. Carmen is dead. When she fell asleep, she never woke up. She died within an hour of falling asleep. It was almost as though she woke up just long enough to say goodbye to everyone.
I cared for Carmen in a way that I can’t possibly explain and I’ll never be ashamed of that. It was never a threat to Kim but I did care for her deeply and she’ll always be a part of me. The hardest part is I know Carmen was in love with me, even though she knew it could never be more than it was. The only thing that keeps me sane is knowing that she knew Kim and I loved her, and she was happy with that.
I keep seeing her sweet smile. Before, I kept being awakened by the pain in my shoulders. Now I’m awakened with the vision of the last time I saw her. The feel of her hand in mine, and the love she had for us. Her final words and concerns weren’t for herself but for the rest of us.
We buried her out in the wildlife field. We placed her on the small hill that was formed from the pond that we had dug years earlier. Her grave overlooked her favorite spot on the farm. The wildlife food plots, where the deer and turkey come out to eat, and the yearlings play.
Tag made a grave marker out of a Walnut tree stump that he sanded down and varnished after engraving her name, the date of her birth and death and the scripture, John 15:13- “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” (NIV)
Carmen died saving Kim’s life. Kim and I talked for hours, and Kim realizes that they had no business riding up to the battle. Kim had a few nightmares of her own. She blames herself and says that even with the news of me being shot, she should’ve stayed at the house and made Carmen do the same. She says that will haunt her for the rest of her life. A couple of nights I was awakened by her crying. I’d try to comfort her, but I wasn’t in much better shape.
One night she woke up yelling, “We shouldn’t of went up there! Why did we go up there?” Then she would cry herself back to sleep.
No, Kim and Carmen shouldn’t have went up there but it was still my fault. I am responsible. I should have given orders ahead of time not to go up there no matter what they heard.
I shouldn’t have let the women start patrolling either. I’ve been reminded over and over again that she didn’t die on patrol but still, maybe if she wasn’t out patrolling the farm, everything would’ve happened differently. Hell, I don’t know, but I know I am responsible, as I’m responsible for everyone’s life that’s here.
Just like the service we had for Eric and Rebecca Jones, who were killed by Billy and Thatcher Lebowski, everyone on our street showed up, along with Blake a
nd his family and Charlie and his wife. Jake gave the Eulogy and said the prayer. Mia and Brandy also spoke. Kim spoke a few words before she broke down, and I was supposed to, but I just couldn’t do it. I was fine for a while, but while Jake was speaking, a doe and two yearlings came out of the woods about 50 yards from us and stood as though they were saying goodbye to Carmen also. When I saw this, I broke down.
Carmen loved the deer and always told us the doe and two yearlings that always walked closest to the house every morning, we weren’t allowed to shoot. Were these the same deer? I doubt it,…. but…. maybe it was.
For days after her funeral, I would have the same dream. I’d walk outside and see Carmen standing by the fence, looking for deer out in our field. When she would turn around, she always had that sweet smile of hers. Then I’d keep asking her to forgive me for failing her. Each time, she’d tell me to quit thinking that way, that there was nothing to forgive.
“I died the way you would want to die; saving someone else.”
Then she’d smile sweetly and gave me a kiss on the cheek, telling me she loves me and always will and then she would disappear.
Maybe I should have listened to Wit. We could’ve eliminated Orville Lebowski, his sons, and Avery Dunson all at the same time. How many lives would have been saved? With them gone, maybe the Pine City crowd wouldn’t have attacked. At the time, it felt like it would be murder but now dozens of Pine City residents are dead and so is Carmen, all because I didn’t act and tried to do the moral thing.
Finally, I made up my mind on two things. First, I’ll never put anyone in our group at risk again because I feel I need to show mercy or follow the old rules of society.
Second, I couldn’t change the past, but I could damn well make sure nothing like this happened again. I was going to find Orville and Avery and kill them.
Chapter Three
Everyone was still adjusting to Carmen’s death. Brandy took days to accept the fact that her sister was really dead. The reality of it had to sink in. Kim and Wit both told me that she didn’t blame anyone except for the scum that attacked us. Between what happened to the Jones’ and now Carmen, she wanted revenge.
Into the Apocalypse Page 2
