Time to Say Goodbye

by Rosie Goodwin

  ‘Loud and clear,’ Sunday answered, her eyes shining.

  Cissie huffed into the room just then. ‘They told me up at the house Kathy were havin’ the baby,’ she gasped breathlessly, noting how close John and Sunday appeared.

  ‘Babies!’ Sunday corrected her happily. ‘A boy and a girl, both doing well as is their mum.’

  ‘Well, I’ll be!’ Cissie plonked down onto the nearest chair with a broad smile on her face. ‘Ain’t that just the best news ever? May the dear lord bless their little souls!’

  Chapter Nineteen

  Kathy named her babies Thomas, for her late father, and Daisy, after her father’s sister, the aunt she had never known but who Sunday and Tom had told her so much about. In no time at all they had everyone who met them under their spell. They slept in their mother’s room in two tiny cots Sunday had fetched from the nursery at Treetops and were such good babies that the people in the lodge hardly knew they were there. They only cried when they were hungry and when that happened everyone always rushed to try to be the first to pick them up.

  John Willerby was as besotted as everyone else and the day after they were born, he had an enormous bouquet of roses delivered for Kathy. Friends popped in to get a peep at the new arrivals and Kathy got frustrated because Sunday insisted she wasn’t to get up for at least a week.

  ‘But I’m bored lying here,’ she complained one morning as Sunday tidied the bed and tucked the covers about her.

  ‘Make the best of it, once those two get a bit older you’ll dream of being bored,’ Sunday told her with a grin, and so reluctantly Kathy did as she was told, although within hours of the birth she had felt as fit as a fiddle.

  The twins were five days old when there was a tap on the front door and Sunday went to open it. She was surprised to see David Deacon standing on the doorstep clutching a colourful bunch of chrysanthemums and looking mildly embarrassed.

  ‘I, er … heard that Kathy had had the baby – or should I say babies? Are they all well?’

  ‘You’d better come in.’ Sunday held the door wide and allowed him to step past her. ‘And yes, they’re all very well, thank you,’ she said primly. She still had suspicions that David was the father and wasn’t quite sure how she should greet him.

  David shuffled from foot to foot uncomfortably before saying, ‘I don’t suppose there’s much chance of me seeing Kathy is there?’

  Sunday felt herself melting a little. She’d always liked David. In fact, she’d hoped at one time that he’d ask Kathy to marry him. She wondered suddenly if perhaps he had proposed, and Kathy had turned him down. It would be just like her stubborn daughter. And if that was the case, then she doubted Kathy would welcome the visit.

  ‘I’m not sure that she’ll want to see you,’ she said in a slightly gentler voice. ‘But if you don’t mind waiting, I can pop up and ask her?’

  ‘Oh yes … yes please.’

  ‘Very well.’ Sunday went upstairs to Kathy who was propped up on pillows breastfeeding Thomas. She had already fed Daisy, who was always the greedier of the two.

  ‘You’ve got a visitor,’ Sunday told her as Kathy leaned Thomas forward and began to pat his back to bring up his wind.

  Kathy smiled. She welcomed visitors. They relieved the boredom at the moment. ‘How lovely. Who is it?’

  ‘It’s David Deacon.’ Sunday watched the smile slide from the girl’s face and added hastily, ‘But you don’t have to see him if you don’t wish to.’

  Thomas gave a loud burp and Kathy handed him to her mother who lay the child back in his crib.

  ‘I … I think I will see him,’ Kathy said quietly. ‘Will you pass me my hairbrush? I’d better try and make myself look respectable.’

  Sunday did as she was asked before going back downstairs to David. ‘She’s in the first bedroom door facing you on the landing, go on up and I’ll bring you both a tray of tea,’ she told him and, without a word, he began to climb the stairs.

  ‘Come in,’ Kathy said, when he tapped at the door.

  David took a deep breath and entered the room. Kathy was sitting up in bed eyeing him rather tentatively, but he thought he had never seen her look so lovely. Her dark hair shone and there seemed to be a glow about her. Since she had ended their relationship, he had tried to put her out of his mind and his heart. He had even stepped out with other girls, most of them nurses, but no one could take the place of Kathy in his affections.

  ‘How are you?’ he asked as he stood clutching the flowers, and then his eyes fell to the little cribs at the side of the bed and before he could stop himself, he found himself walking towards them and gazing down at the babies.

  ‘Kathy … they’re just … beautiful.’

  She smiled and her whole face lit up. ‘They are, aren’t they? And they’re so good. I can’t wait to be up and about so I can take them for a walk.’

  ‘Hm, well I should be careful if you do that. The weather’s suddenly taken a change for the worse and it’s raining cats and dogs out there. You wouldn’t want them catching cold. It might be best to keep them in the warm until they’re a bit bigger.’ He sounded for all the world like a protective father and just for a moment Kathy couldn’t stop herself from thinking what might have been had it not been for Ben. But still she clung to the hope that Ben would come back, and while that hope remained, there could never be another man in her life.

  Meanwhile, David was shocked at the emotions that were pulsing through him. He had expected to feel resentful towards the babies. After all, the way he saw it, they were the reason she had ended their relationship. He’d also had to put up with a lot of gossip after Kathy left the hospital and finished with him. Half of the staff were convinced that the babies were his, he was sure of it. And yet he felt a surge of something he couldn’t describe as he gazed down at them. They looked so innocent that he just wanted to lift them into his arms so he could keep them safe. But he wouldn’t, of course. He wondered again who their father might be but immediately put the thought from his mind – it was still far too painful to think of Kathy with another man. And what a fool that man was, he thought, just look at what he was missing!

  ‘So … the birth went well?’ Somehow, he managed to drag his eyes away from the twins but his voice came out as a croak and he realised he was sweating. This wasn’t proving to be as easy as he had hoped it would be. ‘Oh, er … and here … these are for you.’ He pushed the flowers across the bed to her, scattering multi-coloured petals all over the bedspread, just as Sunday appeared balancing a tray of tea and a sponge cake she had baked that morning.

  David was clumsily trying to gather the dropped petals together, but Sunday waved him to a chair and after placing the tray down she took the flowers from Kathy, telling him with a smile, ‘Don’t worry about those. I can see to them in a minute.’ She poured them both a cup of tea then swept away to put the flowers in water.

  Once they were alone again, Kathy told him, ‘In answer to your question, the birth went very well, thank you. Although I have to admit it was a shock when we discovered there were two of them. I can’t believe neither the midwife nor the doctor picked up on it before.’

  ‘Ah well, that would depend on how they were lying in the womb,’ he answered as his doctor’s training came to the fore. ‘If one of the babies was lying behind the other two heartbeats wouldn’t always be detected.’

  ‘Hm.’ She nodded in agreement and they slipped into silence as they sipped at their tea, both feeling slightly ill at ease.

  ‘So … what will you do now?’ David asked eventually and when she raised an eyebrow he hurried on, ‘What I mean is, will you be coming back to work?’ He desperately wanted to ask if there was any chance that she and the babies’ father might get together again but decided to keep the conversation on safer ground.

  Kathy sighed. ‘I haven’t really thought about it yet,’ she admitted. ‘I suppose when they’re a little older I might like to return to nursing if I can get someone reliable to look after t
hem. I know my mother would, of course, but she isn’t getting any younger and I wouldn’t like to impose on her.’

  ‘I can understand that.’ His eyes strayed back to the sleeping infants and for a second Kathy thought she saw a look of longing in them but then he shocked her when he said, ‘In the meantime … I hope we can be friends again. I’ve hated us avoiding each other and if … Well, if you need any help, financially or otherwise, I want you to know I’m here. I’d hate to think that you or the babies would be going without anything.’

  ‘Oh.’ Kathy felt a lump form in her throat. He was so kind and she had missed him, so what harm could there be if they became friends again? Just friends of course. They could never be more when there was still a chance that Ben might come home.

  ‘I’d like that,’ she said softly. ‘And thank you but we’ll be very comfortable financially. Mum had more left over after selling Treetops and settling Ben’s debts than she’d initially thought she would, and I always saved a bit of my wages so we should be fine.’ Oh Lord, she thought. I’m turning into a softie! Since having the babies her emotions seemed to be all over the place, but then she supposed that was the old hormones kicking in.

  ‘Right well, er … I ought to be thinking of going now. I’m on duty this evening and I don’t want to overtire you. But would it be all right if I called again? I’d like to see how those two are coming along.’ He rose, placing his cup and saucer back on the tray, and she nodded.

  ‘I’d like that.’

  He hovered uncertainly for a moment and she had the awful feeling that he was going to kiss her but instead he seemed to think better of it and turned to the door. ‘Goodbye for now.’

  ‘Goodbye, David … and thank you for the flowers.’

  After he left, she lay staring thoughtfully into space, mildly surprised at how good it had felt to see him. How much easier things would have been if she could only have fallen in love with him.

  Chapter Twenty

  On Sunday 18 December shortly after Kathy’s nineteenth birthday the twins were christened in the little church of St Peter’s in Mancetter. At one point it looked unlikely that the baptism would go ahead for the country was lying beneath a thick carpet of snow but somehow they managed to get there. The service was beautiful, and the twins were as good as gold. And in their snow-white christening robes, lovingly stitched and embroidered by Sunday and Cissie over many long nights, the twins looked beautiful. Their little personalities were beginning to develop now. Thomas was the more solemn of the two; he rarely cried and was content to lie in his cot, whereas Daisy had a ready smile for everyone and loved to be picked up all the time, and they were adored equally by everyone around them.

  George stood as the twins’ godfather and Cissie and Livvy were their godmothers. John Willerby had insisted that the party that followed should be held at Treetops. At first Sunday had been against the idea but as he pointed out, there really wasn’t enough room to hold it in the lodge so in the end, much to Livvy’s disgust, she agreed.

  It took them twice as long as it should to get back to the house for the roads were treacherous and even impassable in parts but eventually everyone arrived safely to find John’s maid Edith had fires roaring and a feast fit for a king laid out on the dining room table. Mrs Gay, the cook, had been busy baking for days and she had done them proud. There were whole hams, fresh from the oven, crispy joints of pork and beef and dishes full of vegetables, and roast and mashed potatoes as well as pies, cakes and all manner of delicious desserts.

  Giles was one of the first to arrive home and stood in the hallway helping the guests off with their coats as they stamped the snow from their shoes, their faces glowing and their noses red with cold. A huge Christmas tree stood in one corner of the hallway and instantly there was a party atmosphere.

  ‘May I help you off with your coat, madame?’ Giles asked Livvy as she came through the door. There was a teasing twinkle in his eye, but she glowered at him.

  It was the first time she had stepped inside Treetops since they had moved into the lodge and she had no intention of pretending to be pleased about being there.

  ‘I can manage quite well, thank you!’ she said icily, turning her back on him, and Sunday, who was right behind her, sighed.

  ‘Can’t you, at least for Kathy’s sake, try to look as if you’re enjoying yourself and be civil,’ she hissed when Giles turned away to help someone else.

  ‘Huh! What with that pompous oaf rubbing salt into the wound because he’s in our house!’ Livvy stamped off into the dining room and Sunday gave up. She was more than a little tired of Livvy’s prolonged bitterness. She herself now visited Treetops to take tea with John regularly. Only the week before she had spent the afternoon helping him decorate the Christmas tree because, by his own admission, he was useless at such things, and she did have to admit it had been time well spent. It looked magnificent.

  ‘My wife always saw to that sort of thing,’ he had told her helplessly and she had taken pity on him. Most men were useless at that sort of thing – her Tom included. Thoughts of Tom sent a little shaft of pain piercing through her. It was so sad that he hadn’t been here today to see his grandchildren christened. He would have been so proud, but then she pushed the sad thoughts firmly aside. She was going to have her hands full trying to stop Livvy causing a huge argument, and she didn’t have time for these maudlin thoughts. So, plastering on a smile, she followed her daughter, determined to keep an eye on her.

  It wasn’t long before George, who had been looking increasingly uncomfortable in his suit and tie, left to go and check on the horses and despite the sullen look on Livvy’s face the rest of the day passed pleasantly as the guests all billed and cooed over the stars of the day. Almost everyone Sunday cared about was there. The Locketts had braved the weather as well as Flora and Jamie and their two teenage daughters from the village, and Constance and her husband and baby, who’d been born a few months before the twins. A number of Kathy’s friends, including David and some of the nurses she had worked with at the hospital, had also come along and Sunday noted with amusement the way they were eyeing Giles up. But then he was a very attractive young man. She just wished Livvy could see it but there seemed little chance of that happening now. Livvy had spent the day studiously avoiding Giles and at the earliest opportunity, she left.

  Eventually David drove Kathy and the babies back to the lodge, insisting that she shouldn’t walk down the drive in the snow that was still falling thick and fast, and soon the guests began to depart, eager to get back to their firesides before the afternoon darkened.

  Both Cissie and Sunday stayed behind for a while after everyone had gone to help tidy up and as Sunday was carrying a tray of dirty pots into the kitchen, she passed Cissie in the hallway.

  ‘David’s been as good as gold to Kathy an’ the twins, ain’t he? I reckon he’s got a real soft spot for them babies,’ Cissie commented sadly. ‘I allus thought those two would make a go of it.’

  ‘I did too.’ Sunday nodded then looked surprised when Cissie suddenly grinned and, changing the subject, said, ‘You look like you’ve never left this place.’

  Sunday frowned. ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘I should think it’s as plain as the nose on yer face. John is smitten wi’ you. Surely you’ve noticed?’

  Sunday was shocked. ‘Don’t be so ridiculous. John and I are friends. We’re far too old to be anything more!’

  ‘Huh! You’d better tell him that then,’ Cissie chuckled. ‘Cos I reckon he sees you back here as the mistress again. An’, may I add, you’re never too old to fall in love!’

  Sunday shook her head and hurried on to the kitchen, her mind whirling. Surely Cissie must be wrong? John had never behaved as anything other than a perfect gentleman towards her and she had certainly never considered him to be anything more than a friend, but Cissie’s words got her wondering all the same and she was thoughtful as she handed the tray over to Edith.

  Shortly after she and C
issie left too and, once outside, Cissie set off for her cottage, while Sunday walked the short distance to the lodge. On entering she found Kathy and David laughing at the babies who were lying on a rug in front of a roaring fire and she couldn’t help but think what a pretty picture they made. They looked like the perfect little family. But she had come to accept now that Kathy had been telling the truth and David wasn’t their father. Even so, it was more than obvious that he loved the babies – and Kathy too, if it came to that – and she had the feeling that even now he would have married her like a shot if she’d have him, which was all credit to him considering the babies weren’t his. Most men would have wanted nothing more to do with any of them.

  It’s such a shame, she thought as she hung up her coat and slipped her feet out of the snow-caked boots, and once again she racked her brain as to who the twins’ father could be. Whenever she asked Kathy, she just clammed up, so Sunday had stopped asking. Whoever he was he was certainly keeping his distance – if Kathy had even told him.

  The following day John arrived mid-morning and with Cissie’s words preying on her mind, for the first time Sunday felt awkward in his presence.

  ‘I suddenly realised after you’d gone yesterday that I hadn’t given the twins their christening present,’ he told Kathy, while Sunday tripped away to put the kettle on.

  Kathy looked puzzled. ‘But you laid on the wonderful spread at your home, that’s more than enough,’ she protested.

  ‘Nonsense.’ John fished in his pocket and withdrew two envelopes, which he pressed into her hand. ‘I’d like you to open them both an account at the bank and put this in for them to start their savings,’ he told her and when she went to protest again, he held his hand up.

  ‘Please! I’ll be most offended if you don’t take it.’

  And so, Kathy had no choice but to gratefully accept.

  It wasn’t until after he had gone that she opened their gifts and when she did, she gasped. ‘But there’s fifty pounds in each of these,’ she told her mother. ‘That’s far too generous.’