Nell scowled, looking down at the floor a moment, only looking back up at him when she had her emotions back under control.
“He hasn’t bugged you again since the other day outside the arena?” Garrant asked.
“Not in person,” Nell said. “He’s been messaging me. Constantly.”
“Block him,” Garrant said, clenching and unclenching his fist behind his back to keep the anger off his face.
‘I’m afraid if I do that he’ll just show up again. He wants to meet Mikey, but I don’t… I don’t want it to happen like that - someone shouting across a street ‘by the way, I’m your father!’” She pushed her hair back off her face, sighing heavily. “I think I’m going to meet him to talk about it. I’m just trying to work up the energy.”
“Only if that’s what you want to do, Nell. I don’t even know the guy, but I know you don’t owe him anything.”
Nell looked over his shoulder at Mikey, still whooping as he zoomed around the other end of the court.
“It’s not just about what I want, though, is it? Mikey… You know he asked me the other night why he doesn’t have a daddy like other kids? Why Sassi has a daddy and he doesn’t.”
Garrant’s heart broke for her. “You think Ricky has it in him to be a good dad?”
Nell grimaced. “Well, he’s the only one Mikey’s got.”
Garrant glanced up at Mikey, sad for him, sad for both of them that the Match test hadn’t given them their missing family member.
“Come on, Mummy!” Mikey yelled as he swung round their end of the court.
“Not a chance,” Nell said.
“Please, Mummy!”
“Don’t hassle your mother, kid,” Garrant called. “Not everyone is cut out to be a Hyperdisk player.”
He threw Nell a teasing smile, expecting her to shoot him down with some cutting comeback. Instead, she scowled at him, the same bristling energy coming off her as when he’d said she didn’t seem the sort to skip out on social occasions for a hook up.
“I can do it,” she said.
Garrant raised his eyebrows. “What happened to ‘not a chance’?”
“Just give me the shoes.”
“You don’t like it when people think you aren’t capable of something, do you?” Garrant said, grinning.
Her eyes were steel.
“I don’t like to be underestimated.”
“You’ve got nothing to prove,” Garrant said.
She gave a cold laugh. “Nothing to prove? I’ve always got something to prove.”
“Like what?”
“Like when they said care home kids never amount to much. Or that I wouldn’t get the grades I needed to do my nursing degree. Or that I wouldn’t be able to finish my studies and raise a kid at the same time. Or that I wouldn’t be able to cope with a kid full stop.”
“People said that to you?” Garrant said, horrified.
His reaction seemed to soften the edges of her anger and she sighed.
“Sorry, I shouldn’t have snapped at you,” she said, her eyes going distant as she looked away from him, staring into nothing. “All my life, I’ve been told what I can’t do. And things… things are so much better now, but sometimes I forget I don’t have to be in that fight mode any more.” She looked back at him, her eyes soft with apology. “I guess Ricky’s reappearance is stirring up some bad memories. I feel on edge all the time at the moment.”
Stars, he wanted to kiss her. Not just kiss her. Hold her.
“Come here,” he said, holding out his hand to her.
She considered him for a moment, then sighed and took his hand, allowing him to pull her towards the Hyperdisk Court.
“Oh,” Nell said, as they stepped over the outer line marker. “What’s that?”
“That’s the low gravity field.”
“You’re not going to make me jump and fall over, are you?” She shot him a wry look.
“Maybe,” Garrant said, grinning as he took a step closer to her.
“What are you doing?” she asked, voice full of suspicion.
“Do you trust me?” he said.
“I suppose so, yes,” she replied.
“Then trust me.”
He scooped her up into his arms, then powered on the shoes, lifting them both up. Her arms had gone naturally around his neck, and he felt them tighten.
“Will it take both of us?”
“These things are designed to take people much bigger than you and me. Our combined weight isn’t going to come close to maxing out their capacity.”
He flew her upwards, over to the edge of the arena, where great panels of glass overlooked the planet outside. An enormous gas giant with rings around it.
“Wow,” Nell said. “It’s beautiful.”
“Parshan, where I’m from, has rings like that. It makes me feel a little bit homesick, sometimes.”
“I feel such a very long way from home here. It must be an even stronger feeling for you.”
“Eh, not so much,” Garrant said. “I think with Intergalactic travel… Once you get so far away, going further doesn’t make any difference. Besides, this isn’t my first trip. I’ve been travelling all over the Universe to compete. Coming out here is kind of normal to me. For you, though, first time leaving your homeworld behind. First time your species has really left your homeworld behind. You’re a pioneer.”
“Except instead of unexplored wilderness, we’ve got fast food shops and suites with working showers.”
Garrant laughed. “Okay, it’s marginally less impressive than the original pioneers. But still, you’re here. That little girl who was told she couldn’t made it all the way out here.”
“Hardly off my own back,” Nell said.
“Maybe this last bit wouldn’t have happened if not for your sister and Cael,” Garrant conceded, “but everything else was all you. If you hadn’t believed you could in the face of all the people who told you you couldn’t, do you think you’d be here now?”
“Maybe not.”
“Hm, I think definitely not. So you definitely have nothing left to prove to anyone. Especially not me.”
She went quiet, still in his arms.
“What are you thinking right now?” Garrant asked.
She took a breath, pausing for a long moment before answering. Garrant knew whatever she said, it was a carefully curated answer, not her actual thoughts.
“I’m thinking,” she said. “I’ve been on this station for several days, and I’ve never stopped to look at the view. Why have I never bothered to stop and look at the view?”
“Too many distractions,” Garrant said, injecting a little bit of swagger into his voice.
Nell laughed, which had been his intention. “Maybe.”
He wanted to push for more, to get to the truth of how she felt. Whether her body was revving up just for being close to his, whether she wanted him to do something about that. But to do so would be to make himself every bit as bad and bullish as Ricky, and no matter how much he wanted to know, he couldn’t do it.
Garrant drifted them back down to the floor, calling for Mikey to come back down, too. Mikey groaned, but began descending. As Garrant set Nell down, he thought for a moment he’d felt a little pain in his arm. But he rolled his shoulders out and everything felt fine, so he pushed it to the back of his mind.
The serum was obviously still working. It wasn’t wearing off.
“Can we play again?” Mikey said, as he came in for a very unsteady landing. Garrant caught him by the waist, switching his shoes off before putting him down.
“It was very kind of Garrant to make time for you today,” Nell said. “We can’t monopolise all of his free time.”
“What does ‘monopolise’ mean?”
“It means take up. We can’t be greedy and take up all of Garrant’s time.”
Mikey pouted.
“I am a bit busy for the next few days,” Garrant said. “We’ve got the final coming up. Need to make sure I’m ready to win.”
/>
“Exactly,” Nell said. “Now where are your manners, mister? What do you need to say to Garrant?”
“Thank you!” Mikey said, with none of the reluctance that usually accompanied the words when spoken by small children.
“You’re very welcome,” Garrant said.
“We’ll head back now,” Nell said. “Leave you in peace.”
She gestured for Mikey to go, and he started running towards the exit.
“Perhaps after the final we can find a time to do this again,” Garrant said. “Didn’t want to say in front of him and get his hopes up, but it might be possible to squeeze another session in.”
“I’m sure he’d love that,” Nell said, smiling. “Message me.”
“I will.”
He watched them walking away. Three days. Three days til the final and then he’d have nothing else on. He could surely find the time to see them again after that.
Nell looked back at him and smiled, the meditation stone still glowing against her skin.
Three days suddenly felt like far too long.
“Hey,” he called after them. “Would you like to see the greatest view in all of the Olympia?”
Chapter 11
HE LED THEM OUT OF THE arena, through the winding streets of the shopping district into the entertainment district. There were bars and clubs here, music blaring from each of the venues they passed. Higher up, intimate theatres showed performances of Intergalactic and Human plays and films. On the top floor, a casino, where visitors could win or lose a fortune. Garrant steered them past all of that to an innocuous looking lift.
“Not many people know about this. It’s not exactly a secret, but it’s also not something they’re advertising. Only for the most curious and adventurous of souls on board.”
“I’m adventurous,” Mikey said.
“I know,” Garrant said. “That’s why I’m letting you in on the secret.”
Unlike the lift platforms, those disks that hurtled you between floors in the districts, this was a proper lift - a boxy little room with sliding doors and a mirrored interior. When they were all nestled inside, Garrant pushed the button to close the door. The lift lurched and rumbled as it ascended.
“This feels weird,” Nell said. “Like we’re going sideways, not up.”
“That’s because you are,” Garrant said, “Sort of. It follows the path of the dome over the complex.”
“We’re going up the dome?” Nell said.
“You scared of heights?” Garrant asked.
“Not exactly, but…”
Garrant pressed a button, and suddenly the mirrors went see-through, the floor too, the whole lift transforming into a glass box. Nell let out a little yelp, clinging to him. A very agreeable reaction. Mikey just gasped, dropping to the floor so he could see the complex spread out beneath them.
“There’s the arena!” he said.
Nell had her face pressed against Garrant’s shoulder.
“I can switch it back off again if you want?” he said.
“No,” she said. “Mikey’s enjoying it. I’ll just stay here. If you don’t mind?”
He didn’t mind at all. He slipped an arm round her waist, because he could tell himself it was out of need to comfort her, not because he liked the feel of her in his arms. She moulded to his side, as if meant to fit there, the rapid flutter of her heart beat steadying as she took several deep breaths.
The lift ground to a halt a few moments later.
“Here’s our stop,” Garrant said.
Mikey jumped up and immediately dashed out of the now open lift doors into the viewing platform beyond. The room was right at the peak of the dome, a dark enclosure that looked out onto the Universe. The floor went down, like an amphitheatre, from the edge. In the very centre, at the bottom, spyglasses could be used to look down on the complex below them, but the room was designed for star gazing. Right now, they were angled so only stars and a few ships were visible, but sometimes the station angled towards the planet, providing a spectacular view.
A few people were sat on the different layers, looking up at the starscape above them, but it was empty enough that it felt like they were alone as Garrant took Nell’s hand, leading her out after Mikey.
“Feel a bit better with solid ground beneath you?” he asked.
“A bit,” Nell said, but her tone was amused, and he thought he could see the hint of a smile in the darkness.
They walked to the middle, where Mikey had his face pressed to one of the viewing spots.
“The whole city is beneath us,” he said, and even he kept his voice down, respecting the hush of the atmosphere.
“What do you think? Best place on the station?” Garrant said.
“Best place ever,” Mikey agreed, then began climbing up the tiered seats to where they met the glass of the dome. “I’m going to watch the ships!”
“Thank you,” Nell said. “This is amazing. I never would have known this was here.”
“I thought he might like it,” Garrant said, nodding to where Mikey was now lying on the very highest bench, looking up at the stars. “He’s a little daredevil.”
“I’m starting to realise that,” Nell said “We’ve never had much cause to be daring in our lives back home.”
“He takes after his mother,” Garrant said, being a little daring himself as he reached out to stroke the small of her back.
“I’m not daring, I’ve never done anything daring.” She looked at him, and as though the darkness had given her permission to be frank, she said, “You are probably the most daring thing I’ve done.”
Garrant grinned, but he shook his head. “Saying ‘yes’ when other people tell you ‘no’ is an act of daring far more so than enjoying heights or trying out propulsion shoes. The bravery it must have taken to keep Mikey, to raise him on your own.”
Her eyes were slightly watery as she looked up at him. “I wish…”
But before she could wish anything, Mikey came running back down and jumped into the gap between them.
“I saw three Medium Distance Transport Shuttles and one Long Distance one!” he said, keeping his voice quiet, but still managing to infuse it with excitement. “This is the best day ever.”
Nell wiped a hand quickly across her cheek before she looked down at him.
“Then I think you owe somebody another big thank you,” she said.
Mikey grinned up at Garrant. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome, kid,” Garrant said, ruffling his hair.
He half hoped Mikey would run off somewhere again so Nell could finish that sentence. I wish what? Garrant found he desperately wanted to know. But Mikey just continued to sit between them, kicking his little legs and grinning at both of them. After a moment, his gaze settled on Garrant, a frown creasing his brow.
“Why do you have so many tattoos?”
“Mikey, don’t be rude,” Nell said.
“It’s not rude, it’s just curiosity,” Garrant said. He held out his left arm, the inner side up. “Where I come from, it’s tradition to draw the story of your life on to your skin. The first one you get is this one right here.” He ran his finger down his forearm. “You get it when you come of age. In my culture, that’s when you turn seventeen standard years old. I think they’re pretty similar to your Earth years. How old are you again?”
“Five,” Mikey said.
“You have a few years to go yet, then.”
“No tattoos til you’re eighteen where we’re from,” Nell said. “Any younger than that and it’s illegal.”
“Can I get one when I’m eighteen?” Mikey asked.
“Well, when you’re eighteen it will be your decision, not mine,” Nell said. “So there’s meaning behind all of them?”
She directed this question at Garrant. He had a sudden and vivid memory of her tracing her tongue over one near his shoulder, and tried to think of everything boring in the universe to counteract it.
“Yes,” he said, his voice coming
out a little husky. He cleared his throat and tried again. “Yes. The first one is always your family crest. Your family crest is made up of lots of details that tell people something about your family history. Every Iparshana has one, and when you are Matched, you get a second crest on the other arm. The second one is a combination of your crest and your Match’s crest. You then pass that design to your children. So, my family crest is the combination of my father’s family crest and my mother’s family crest.”
“You don’t have a Match,” Mikey said, looking at his blank right forearm.
“No,” Garrant said.
“Mummy doesn’t have a Match either. Maybe you could be Matches?”
“It doesn’t work like that, darling,” Nell said, mouthing ‘sorry’ to him over Mikey’s head.
Garrant smiled and waved away her apology, even as part of him wished it really could be that simple.
“Is there a specific order to the rest of them?” she asked, steering the conversation away from Matches.
“Not all of them. Some happen at certain milestones - when you get your first job.” He rolled his sleeve up to reveal his left upper arm, where there was the symbol of the company he’d worked for in the early days of his Hyperdisk career, before that had been enough to support him without any additional income. “They were a company selling insurance for shuttles.”
“Medium Distance or Long Distance?” Mikey asked, making Nell laugh.
“Both,” Garrant said, “though I was in the Medium Distance department.”
“I’ve been on one of those,” Mikey said excitedly.
“Mikey wants to be a shuttle pilot when he grows up,” Nell said, kissing the top of his head.
“A very good choice,” Garrant said, grinning.
“What about the gap you have?” Nell reached out to touch him, but drew her hand back, indicating the spot on her own chest. “Here.”
“That is a very special spot,” Garrant said. “Right above the heart.”
Mikey put his hand to his chest and frowned.
“Ours is on the other side,” Nell said, moving his hand over.
“Huh,” Garrant said, reaching out and touching his hand to Mikey’s chest, feeling the thud of his heart beat on the left side. “So it is. Weird.”
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