A Pony Called Secret

by Olivia Tuffin

  Alice thought about what she had just overheard and her heart went out to the other girl. Cora had managed to turn the screen off and jumped up, gathering her laptop in a rush, scrambling together some papers from where she had been sitting. A photograph fluttered out and, without thinking, Alice reached down and picked it up. Bluebell again, with the same girl from the screen with her arms round her, smiling and relaxed.

  Alice passed the photograph over to Cora, who snatched it back. Her face was pale, her eyes red.

  “Is that Lauren?”

  “Yes,” she said softly.

  “I’m so sorry,” Alice said hesitantly, wanting to acknowledge Lauren’s accident and Cora’s fears. “It must be scary jumping tomorrow after what happened to Lauren,” she continued. “But you and Bluebell are brilliant, you really are.”

  Cora’s cheeks burned red as a look of fury flashed across her face, her eyes dark.

  “You what?” she said, her voice dangerously quiet.

  Alice felt confused. “I just wanted to say I understand how you must be feeling,” she mumbled. “About tomorrow.”

  “What do you mean?” Cora asked, a slight tremble to her voice.

  “Your sister’s fall … I can imagine how scary it must be to jump after that.” She thought back to Nina’s words, about how they’d worried the week had been too soon for her. “Perhaps if it’s all getting too much, you should consider postponing?” she added quietly.

  There was an awful pause.

  “You don’t know anything about my sister,” Cora hissed. “Or what happened.” She glared at Alice. “And if you think I’m going to withdraw, you must be joking. I’m getting my spot tomorrow and nothing will stand in my way!” She gave a hollow laugh. “I didn’t think you were so sneaky! Pretending to be all nice and concerned to get rid of your main competition.”

  It was Alice’s turn to feel angry.

  “That’s not true!” she cried. “I just know how it feels in a way—”

  “Like I said,” Cora interrupted, “you don’t know anything about me or how I feel! Tomorrow doesn’t matter to you, but it does for me, more than you’ll ever know!”

  “It does matter to me!” Alice shouted. “It’s my last big chance on Secret.”

  “Well, boohoo,” Cora snarled. “Just get lost, Alice.”

  And with that Cora pushed past Alice, slamming the door to her bedroom.

  Alice couldn’t believe it. She had only been trying to be nice! Now things were worse than ever…

  *

  Alice awoke with a start while it was still dark. Her head felt as though it was full of cotton wool, a dull headache clouding her thoughts. After her argument with Cora she hadn’t been able to sleep and had tossed and turned in bed.

  There was something ironic about all this, she thought crossly. She had chosen not to go home for a party so she could stay focused and refreshed, and now she felt dreadful. Alice decided that as she was already awake she might as well make a start on the mucking out and hopefully avoid Cora. She was more than certain that Cora had deliberately stalled in their lesson and refused to go faster than a walk on the hack just to wind Secret up. Alice tried to bat away the thought that she too had done things she wasn’t proud of. Like ignore her best friends and miss an important family occasion. Taking a deep breath, she tried to focus on the day ahead instead. That was all that was important now.

  There was no sign of Cora on the yard, but Bluebell’s stable had already been mucked out. Hayden appeared on the yard while Alice was cleaning Secret’s stable.

  “I couldn’t sleep,” she told him in what she hoped was a casual tone, “so I thought I’d start early.”

  Alice felt as though she couldn’t be still. Every bit of her body was swirling with nerves and Secret seemed to pick up on it too. He’d snatch some hay, walk around, snatch some more, his eyes bright, radiating energy. Alice had hoped he would have forgotten about the slow beach ride yesterday, but he almost appeared to have carried over the fizziness to now. And Alice felt the same.

  Back in the flat she tried to read Horse & Hound, but found herself reading the same two lines over and over. She paced around the small kitchen instead, wondering what to do. There was no sign of Cora’s fluorescent trainers by the back door so Alice guessed she must be out pounding the lanes somewhere, getting into the zone, as she put it.

  Suddenly Alice had an idea. Secret had jumped his very best in France, at the Festival of the Horse, straight after she and Finn had ridden up into the hills to watch a herd of wild horses. He had come back relaxed and focused, and so had she. She might have spent the whole week training, but she knew Secret like the back of her hand. A canter up that glorious cliff would do them both the world of good. Suddenly the urge to just ride her pony, to feel the sharp wind in her ponytail and ruffling Secret’s red mane as they thundered up the turf meant more than any competition. She needed to clear her head.

  Alice checked her watch. She had just under two hours until they needed to leave. Secret had already gone into the hot wash, and the ground was dry so he’d only need a quick brush when they got back. Her tack was beautifully clean, and she could always wipe it over one last time. Her competition clothes, folded last night, were all laid out and waiting on her bed, so she quickly wriggled into a pair of tracksuit bottoms and a fleece. She also wanted to avoid Cora as much as possible, and if she rode and concentrated on getting Secret ready she would only have the short journey in Devon’s lorry to put up with. Fastening her riding hat, she hurried outside and grabbed her tack from the tack room before running straight into Devon.

  “Hey!” Devon smiled. “You must have been up early. Hayden said you were already all mucked out when he started work. Couldn’t sleep?” she added sympathetically.

  “Not really,” Alice said vaguely, still feeling guilty about overhearing Devon’s conversation the night before. “Nervous, I guess.”

  “Are you riding?” Devon gestured to Alice’s saddle hooked over her arms and Alice nodded.

  “Yep,” she said. “Secret always settles so much better if he’s hacked out.”

  Devon smiled. “You know him best,” she said. “That sounds like an excellent idea.” She also checked her watch. “But remember we have to leave by nine thirty at the very latest.”

  Alice nodded. “I know,” she replied. “I’m all ready. I’ll get back, brush him off and change and I’ll be good to go.”

  Devon patted her arm. “Enjoy the canter. It’ll do you both good.”

  Tacking up Secret a few minutes later, Alice fired off a quick text to her mum, just in case she came over to the yard earlier than planned.

  I’m going to ride Secret just to get him settled, she wrote. See you in a bit.

  A reply came back through just as Alice tightened Secret’s girth and swung herself up into the saddle.

  Good idea. Alice read the text as she fumbled for her stirrups. I’m actually out walking Poppy. It’s lovely round here.

  Putting the phone back in her pocket, Alice pulled up her fleece round her neck. There was a definite autumnal chill in the air now. Nudging Secret on, she clattered out of the yard and headed up the quiet lane towards the bridleway that led to the fields above the cliffs. Secret’s strides soon seemed to lengthen and, as the path opened up on to the vast expanse of rolling flat turf, Alice felt her shoulders drop, her heart lighten. The fresh sea air, Secret’s red ears pricked in front of her, the blue-grey sea merging into the blue-grey sky, it felt wonderful to be away from the arena and the horrible atmosphere in the flat. She barely had to nudge Secret to push him into canter. He set off eagerly, his beautiful rocking horse strides eating up the ground as the chilly air whipped tears from Alice’s eyes. She laughed out loud, already feeling a million times better.

  “Good boy.” Alice sat deep into the saddle, bringing Secret to a bouncy trot, patting him over and over. “Don’t you feel great for that?” She paused, realising her headache was clearing, and she felt brighter and
more alert. “I know I do.”

  Secret gave a satisfied snort as if in agreement. Alice checked her watch. Perfect. She just needed to head back down to the path and she would be back at Skyview with loads of time to freshen up ready for the lorry leaving. With Secret now relaxed and happy, Alice was starting to really look forward to the trials.

  *

  “Come on, sweetheart.”

  Alice started to make the turn down to the bridleway that led to the lane they had started on, when, out of nowhere, Secret wheeled round, giving a shrill cry of panic. For a split second Alice felt a horrifying lurch in her stomach, feeling totally out of control as Secret ignored her desperate aids. There was nothing to stop him jumping the fence between safety and the cliff edge and crashing down on to the rocks. But as quickly as he had spun round Secret came to a trembling halt, lifting his head and whinnying, a wild and feral sound, and the hairs on the back of her neck stood up. Alice was reminded of the time her mum’s Spanish pony Ella had escaped on the snow-covered downs and Secret had helped find her. He had known where she was and had taken Alice and her mum to her. And now, again, it seemed Secret knew something, and he wasn’t going to rest until he had found whatever it was he was searching the horizon for.

  “Come on, boy.”

  Dismounting, her legs shaky, Alice took hold of Secret’s reins as he danced about, his ears pricked, every now and again uttering the same whinny that seemed to echo and bounce off the hills and cliffs.

  Alice pulled out her phone. There was no signal and suddenly she felt afraid. What was up with Secret?

  She pleaded with him, trying to walk him on. “Please, sweetheart! I don’t know what has got into you, but now is really not the time. Come on, we have to get back. We’ve got a big day ahead.”

  She gave the reins a tug, trying to encourage the little gelding to walk on, but Secret pulled back, rearing slightly as he screeched out a whinny again. There was no way Alice would be able to get him to move. Weighing up her options, she decided she was safer on his back. He was far more likely to get free if he pulled away from her hands; she would have a better chance of controlling him from the saddle. Deftly, she hopped back into the saddle, not an easy task as Secret jogged and danced on the spot.

  “There’s nothing there, Secret.” Alice was growing frustrated now. Despite feeling so relaxed and free a few moments ago, aware the clock was ticking, she wanted to get back to the yard now. “Just come on!”

  But it was as if she didn’t exist as Secret set off at a spanking trot, his head high. No amount of pulling on the reins or trying to sit deep in the saddle helped, she was simply a passenger as Secret powered on, getting further and further away from the turning to the bridleway. Suddenly, just as before, he stopped dead, whickering softly now, as Alice tried to focus on whatever Secret was so fixated on. All she could see ahead was turf, the woods down below them with the path that led to the bridleway, and the fence that separated the hill from the sea, with about fifty metres of meadow leading to the drop to the crashing grey sea.

  “There’s nothing there!” she cried once again, desperate now. But as Secret whickered again, this time with more urgency, Alice gasped as a movement in the long grass caught her eye. A familiar jacket, trainers. Someone was kneeling in the grass, and as they lifted their head, their face tear-streaked and anguished, Alice felt a cold chill run down her spine.

  “Mum!”

  Chapter 11

  Thinking fast, Alice leapt off Secret, looping his reins over the fence. Now they had found her mum, Secret seemed to have settled. Scrambling over the fence, Alice ran to where her mum was peering over the edge of the cliff. It was incredibly unnerving being on the wrong side of the fence, she thought, her tummy flipping over. There was nothing between her and that drop. It went against everything she’d been told. Alice crouched beside her mum. She was relieved to see that the drop wasn’t as sheer as she imagined. Instead, the hill dropped sharply away, a grassy bramble-covered bank leading to the actual cliff edge.

  “Mum? What’s happened? Are you OK?” Looking around, she realised with growing horror that their faithful family dog was nowhere to be seen. “Where’s Poppy?” she asked with growing dread.

  “She’s there.” Her mum pointed and the dread in Alice’s stomach grew. “She’s down there! She’s gone over!”

  Alice’s mum was so panicked that she knew she had to take control. “How?” she asked.

  Alice’s mum wriggled forward so she was right at the edge of the slope, and Alice did the same as she tried to see where her mum was pointing. Then she cried out in horror as she spotted Poppy lying in a brambly tussock at the bottom of the bank. The little dog was in a horribly precarious position. If she moved forward at all she would fall, but the bank was too steep for the elderly dog to scramble back up.

  “She just bolted,” Alice’s mum sobbed. “She slipped her lead and went. She’s never done anything like it before. I was screaming and screaming, and then she just went over the edge.” Her shoulders were shaking wildly. “I thought that was it. I forced myself to the edge, and saw where she had landed. But I’ve got no signal on my phone and I can’t leave her!”

  Alice had only ever seen her mum like this once before, when Lachlan had been hit by a car. Josephine was usually so measured and calm and efficient and knew what to do in every situation.

  Alice was thinking fast. “I need to go and call for help.”

  The fastest way to get back to the lane, where there was a signal, was to jump back on Secret and gallop as fast as she could.

  Running back to him, she quickly unhooked his reins. “Come on, boy,” she said. “This is when I need your speed.”

  “Oh, Poppy! Don’t move!” her mum cried. “Oh, Alice, I don’t think she can hear me!”

  The old dog had lost her hearing over the last year. Selectively deaf, her dad had said, because Poppy always seemed to know when it was supper time. But she really had gone partially deaf, the vet had confirmed it, and Josephine’s voice, hoarse with fear, was being carried away by the sea breeze.

  Secret tugged hard at the reins, straining over the fence as Alice got ready to hop back on.

  “What is it, boy?” She placed a hand on his neck and the little red pony let out an ear-shattering whinny, making Alice’s ears ring.

  The sound bounced around the cliffs, echoing over and over.

  “She heard that!” her mum yelled. “Oh, Poppy, keep calm – Secret’s here!”

  Secret whinnied again, just as loudly, but this time it was a softer, almost reassuring sound and Alice suddenly knew she couldn’t take Secret. If the dog knew her favourite pony was there, it would keep her calm, and hopefully stop her panicking and heading over the edge. The two had a special relationship. Poppy’s favourite trick was to lead Secret back into his stable, proudly holding the lead rope in her mouth. Alice had to get Secret nearer to the bank. Nearer to Poppy. It was the only way.

  Thinking fast, Alice went through her options. She hadn’t passed a gate on her way up and she had no idea if there would be one further up the hill, or even just a stile. There was only one way over. She was going to have to jump. Swallowing hard, Alice considered the situation. Secret could easily jump the wooden fence; it was a simple post and rail. It was the landing that was harder. With only about twenty-five metres before the bank, she would need to pull up almost straight away and stop. Secret had to stop. Or he would follow Poppy over the edge. But, as her mum gave another cry of panic, indicating that Poppy had moved again, Alice had an idea.

  “Mum, wait there!”

  Alice flung Secret’s reins back over his head, hopping up on the rails and into the saddle in one swift movement.

  “Come on, boy.” She gave the red gelding a scratch on the withers. “This needs to work.”

  It had to work.

  Taking a deep breath, she turned Secret away from the fence, circling him in trot. Suddenly, every lesson she had ever had with Angus flashed before her. All t
he work they had done to stop Secret taking off after jumping, about keeping his enthusiasm under control, would come into play now.

  Sitting deep into the saddle, Alice could almost hear Angus’s voice. Sit still, keep your contact light, don’t fight him, keep your leg on but don’t kick, don’t fold too early.

  Asking for canter three strides out, Alice held her breath as Secret approached the fence. Three, two, one, and a perfect take-off. Soaring through the air, Alice was aware of the grey blue sea between Secret’s ears, as if they were jumping straight off the cliff. It was terrifying but beautiful. As Secret landed, Alice knew that if he wanted to, he could carry on. She had no real power to stop him, as she had found out when he had taken off up the hill in search of her mum and Poppy, but now it was as though he could hear Alice’s thoughts. Coming to a trot, and then a walk, Secret stopped a few strides after the fence.

  Alice reached down to stroke his neck. He knew, she realised. He always did.

  There was no time to lose. Now on the other side of the fence Alice dismounted, handing the reins to her shocked mum. But as Secret whickered they heard Poppy give a joyful bark.

  “She can hear him,” her mum said tearfully. “She can hear him.”

  “Hold Secret here,” Alice instructed her mum. “He won’t go over the bank, but Poppy will know he’s there.”

  But her mum was starting to hyperventilate, her body trembling like a leaf, her face white with fear. “I-I…” She couldn’t get the words out.

  Now Alice was starting to panic. She had no idea what to do. She had to get help, but it felt wrong leaving her mum on the side of the cliff in this state. She had never felt more afraid.