Under The Big Top

by Alice J Black

“Thank you for the tea.” I stood up, pulled my bag over my shoulder, and walked across the room.

  “Peyton, you can run from me, but you can’t run from your mind.”

  * * *

  Outside, the cool breeze wrapped around me, and instead of the freshness I’d felt earlier that day, I shivered. If I had been more resilient, Sylvia’s words wouldn’t have affected me. But they were stuck on repeat.

  Shaking my head, I hurried to cross the road and stepped into the library, keen to forget about everything that had just happened. The door closed behind me, with a soft click, and I breathed deeply.

  The old building had been modernised in the last few years. The ceiling had been dotted with spotlights that left no corner lurking in shadow. A huge corkboard announced up and coming events, and to the right of reception, there were five computer banks, free for public use. Since I was a regular patron of the library now, I knew that they had local records tucked away in a room in the corner.

  “Hello, Peyton.” Bill smiled as I strode down the narrow walkway past reception.

  Over the last year, since giving up the drink and accepting my gift, I had become a regular visitor to the library. So much so that Bill and I were on first-name basis and I knew that his wife liked to holiday abroad, while he preferred to go camping.

  Today, he wore a pale blue shirt with a crocheted sleeveless jumper on top.

  “Hi, Bill.” I leaned down on the counter. “How’re things?”

  “Good.” He nodded, shuffling a couple of papers. “I’m about to take some time off in a few weeks.”

  “Doing anything nice?”

  “Decorating the bedroom. The missus wants it painted.” He paused and shook his head. “She won’t listen when I tell her I’m getting too old for this.”

  “Old?” I waved my hand. “Give over.”

  Bill grinned. “I’ll be seeing the grandkids too.”

  “Lovely.”

  “How are you?” he asked.

  “I’m fine.” I wanted to divert the subject.

  I was far from fine as Sylvia’s words kept ringing through my mind, stuck on a loop.

  “How’s the business?”

  “It’s good. Busy as ever, actually. I’m here to look for information on the funfair.”

  “The old Cannelleni fair?” He frowned. “That’s been shut down for years.”

  “Exactly.” I slapped the table.

  “Okay, follow me.”

  That’s what I liked about Bill. He didn’t ask too many prying questions.

  He led the way towards the small, square room at the back of the library which housed all the local newspapers dating back years. He unlocked it and turned on the light. The shelves came into view.

  I always felt at home in this room. Bill had spent hours and hours making sure the newspapers were coded and catalogued by date and year.

  “So by my reckoning . . .” He stared at the ground. “I think the fair first came here around twenty years ago.” After moving around a shelf unit, he came to the year he was looking for and pointed it out. “You should find everything you need from here.”

  “Thanks, Bill. I want to look at it through the years, so is there any quick way of finding references to it in the papers?”

  The thought of having to trawl through every one of those papers, looking for something that vaguely mentioned the funfair, was daunting to say the least.

  “Sure. You can use that computer over there. All it does is reference these papers. But if you type in a keyword, it’ll you show which editions of the paper the word shows up in.”

  “You’re a legend, Bill.”

  “I know.” He puffed out his chest.

  I grinned.

  “I’ll leave you to it, but shout if you want anything.”

  As Bill meandered back to his desk, I was already focused on pulling out what I needed. There were three cardboard boxes dedicated to 2007. Although the computer would give me future references, I figured this was a good place to start and I heaved the first box out, set it on the table, then took a seat. I pulled the first paper from the box and began to read.

  I didn’t find anything related to the funfair until an hour later, when there was an advert posted in the paper, announcing the funfair’s first-time arrival. After that, I skipped several papers and made it to the second box, where I scanned through the dates until I hit the summer months.

  I found the first article at the end of June 2007.

  The famous Cannelleni funfair is coming to Fallbury this summer. With a wide range of attractions for young and old, everyone will want to visit. Rides, side shows, and the ever-popular freakshow will take up pride of place on Old Road Field and will be there for two months, so there is plenty of time to get down there with the kids and enjoy something different this summer.

  Now that I had a definite date for its arrival, I could continue my search.

  I left the boxes stacked on the table, moved to the computer, and typed in Cannelleni funfair.

  Just like I expected, it had a lot of mentions. I started at the earliest dates, made notes as I went, and pulled the corresponding papers from the boxes as needed.

  The funfair was so popular it stayed long past its original summer engagement. However, as winter came on, the trickle of customers slowed and business suffered. But as it was out of season, Cannelleni decided to take the risk and stay put. Unfortunately, it backfired for him, and instead of even just the dribs and drabs of customers they had been getting, it dried up completely and he went bankrupt. All the performers left, feeling betrayed by Cannelleni.

  He was the last to leave. He drifted into the night after admitting defeat, leaving the whole setup as it was. Nobody had been able to contact him since.

  In 2008, the fairground had become a lot for kids and vagrants. Graffiti sprung up on the rides. The sideshows became shelters, and rubbish was dumped, from empty beer cans to household furniture. It became a wasteland, and a dangerous one at that.

  In early 2009, the Council set up a perimeter around the fair but it didn’t do anything but hide it. It remained a seedy place. A place where kids hung out at night and the homeless went to sleep.

  In the summer of 2009, the body of a homeless man was found in one of the sideshow tents, by a bunch of kids. Nothing in the paper reported foul play, and considering the nature of his life, maybe it had been his time at the age of forty-two.

  A year later, in 2010, a gang fight occurred, and a young man was stabbed to death. He bled out in the middle of the funfair.

  In 2012, a young woman climbed to the top of the Ferris wheel and threw herself from its height. She died on impact.

  Most of the activity within those fences abated after that. Both kids and homeless staying clear. Nobody could explain it, but soon, the rumours began to surface. The local people said it was haunted. When they passed, people heard noises—voices, laughter. And so the legend grew and the funfair became the haunted attraction of Fallbury for a number of years.

  Of course, I knew it was haunted. I had known it from the moment I crossed the fence into the grounds during my meeting with Rob and Terry. What I didn’t know was who was haunting it. Judging from everything I’d read, there were several options.

  A small knock sounded on the door, and as I turned, I saw Bill with his head stuck into the room.

  “How are you getting on?”

  “I think I’ve got what I need. I just need to make a few copies of some papers, then I’ll tidy up.”

  “No problem. Pass the papers here, and I’ll do it for you.”

  I passed him several of the newspapers, from the original advert to the last one when the suicide had taken place. He hurried away, and the machine behind reception buzzed as it fired up. I began to pack away. The table was strewn with newspapers, and I was keen to stay in Bill’s good books, so I made sure they went back in the right boxes.

  He returned with a sheaf of paper and handed it over. Then we tucked the remaining newspa
pers away and stacked the boxes.

  “Thanks for that, Bill.” I nodded towards the papers in my hand as we strolled towards the reception. “How much do I owe you?”

  “Nothing.” He crossed his hands.

  “Come on. I know this isn’t cheap, and I don’t want you to get into trouble. Besides, my client is paying for it.”

  “Well, in that case, follow me to the till.” He grinned.

  * * *

  “So what did you find?” Olivia asked as I stepped into the office.

  I dropped the wad of paper onto the desk in front of her, and her lip turned out as she nodded.

  “Impressive.”

  “You?” I took a seat and wheeled closer to the screen, where a website was showing.

  “There’s a local group of kids who call themselves The Thrill Seekers, and they go around abandoned places, amongst other things, and look for spirits.”

  I frowned. “Are they legit?”

  “Well, I looked at some of their other videos and nothing much shows up, so it doesn’t look like they doctor their footage.”

  “Okay.”

  “Check this one out.” She pressed play on the video, and a body cam came into view.

  Everything was dark, and I heard several voices with crystal quality. The group moved through the funfair as a unit, checking out one thing and then another. Then they came to the big top.

  From the night vision on the camera, I watched as a girl and a guy moved ahead. And then the girl was swept off her feet. She hovered in the air, legs cycling and mouth wide in a silent scream for a minute, before she fell. The video was lost to a whole lot of running and chaos after that.

  “I mean, I’m sure someone with a lot of video and editing expertise could’ve made that up, but it looks pretty real to me.” Olivia sat back.

  I nodded. “I get the feeling that it’s all real. And seeing that happen doesn’t surprise me at all. That’s where Jake and I were attacked.”

  Olivia nodded. “So it’s a definite haunting. The problem is, where do we go from here?”

  “While I was at the library scanning the newspapers, I found three known deaths linked to the place. A homeless man, a gang fight where a young man was stabbed, and a suicide.”

  “That narrows it a little, but something tells me that an awful lot went on there that wasn’t reported.”

  “Probably,” I said. “But for now, we have to go with what we know.”

  “Okay, so how are you going to play this?”

  “I can’t do a cleansing, because it’s an open area. I’m going to do a blessing on each of the spots where the deaths took place and see if that helps. I’ll go tomorrow night.”

  “Right. In the meantime, I’ll log each of our four hours of research.”

  I grinned. “Terry is going to be pissed. I love it.”

  * * *

  “So . . .” I said.

  Jake took my hand as we strolled down the street.

  “Is this like, an official first date?”

  He turned to me, a smile on his face. “I think it can be classified as such. I suppose it’s only right after everything we’ve been through.”

  “Most couples don’t face their first ghost until they’ve been dating at least a year,” I said.

  He grinned. “Well, I always said you were special.”

  “I’m not sure you used those words.”

  “Well, I should have.”

  “Special in a good way?”

  “In a very good way.” He pulled me into him and pressed his lips against mine.

  I was lost to him. I inhaled his musky scent as his lips moulded to mine and his arms wrapped around me, pulling me into a cocoon. It had been so long since I allowed myself to be held like this. To be open to just one person. To allow myself to want.

  “So where are you taking me?” I asked as he pulled away.

  “Rumour has it there’s a very special Italian restaurant you like a lot.”

  “You spoke to Olivia, didn’t you?”

  “Yeah.” He laughed. “And I was surprised by how easily she was willing to dish the information. Dare I say she might be warming to me?”

  I laughed. “She is, don’t worry. Olivia has seen me go through a lot of pain and hurt. She’s just protective.”

  “Is it a bit like having your mother watching you constantly?”

  “I guess. In some ways. But I know it’s because she cares. My mum was like Olivia in a lot of ways, and I rebelled against her.” I dropped my head. “I’ll never have a chance to say I’m sorry.”

  “Hey, don’t beat yourself up. You were a kid, and that’s what kids do. Hell, I hated my parents when I was a teenager.”

  “You did?” I raised my brow.

  “Yeah. They stifled my creativity.”

  “And what was your talent?”

  “I was learning to play the guitar.”

  “And is that something you’ve kept up?”

  “I was awful at it.” He shook his head.

  “Then I’m on their side.”

  “Hey!” He feigned a shocked look.

  Amici’s came into view, and soon we were soon stepping into the warmth of the restaurant.

  “Peyton,” said my favourite waiter, Matt, with open arms, under the orange glow of overhead lights arranged to look just like candles. “How are you? And where is Olivia?”

  “It’s just us tonight.” I turned to Jake and blushed. I didn’t want him to think I’d spent my entire life before him as a spinster, spending time with just Olivia.

  “Ah, no problem.” Matt rubbed his hands together. “I have a lovely seat in the window. Follow me.”

  True to his word, there was a window in the alcove of the window. A candle burned in the centre of the table, which was laid out for two to dine. Matt left the menus, nodded, and then he was gone.

  My eyes dropped down to the menu. I never looked at the menu before. Whenever I was there with Olivia, I ordered the same thing almost every time, but that was the thing. I wasn’t with Olivia. I was on a date.

  Everything was different that night. The big word had caught up with me, and now I was a shy girl, afraid to look above the menu in case he was ogling or muttering obscenities at my lack of dress sense.

  I sneaked a look down at myself. I was wearing a simple black dress that cut in a deep V down my chest. It was knee length and plain. I wore a shrug over the top for comfort. Compared to my normal attire, I thought I looked decent, and I reasoned that Jake should too. considering that whenever I saw him, I was in a dire wardrobe state. Other than the murder mystery train. But being chased by a maniac ghost probably made up for that.

  “Anything you’d recommend?” Jake asked.

  I looked up to see that he was still studying the menu. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. I was with Jake. I didn’t need to stand on ceremony.

  “Depends what you like. They do a mean Ariabatta. I prefer the carbonara.”

  “I’m not sure I need any more spice in my life right now.” He winked at me. “I think I’ll grab a pizza.”

  “The calzone is lovely. Olivia loves it.”

  “Calzone it is.” He set the menu down, with a nod.

  A few minutes later, Matt reappeared and took our orders. Jake took a non-alcoholic beer for the occasion.

  Then Matt left with the menus. Now that I had nothing to look at, I grew more nervous by the minute. I wrangled my hands on the table, resisting the urge to play with the candle flame.

  “You didn’t have to do that,” I said.

  “What?” He frowned.

  “It's okay if you want a beer, you know. I’m not a raging alcoholic anymore.” I grinned.

  He shrugged. “It seems the least I could do. After all, you’ve made all this effort to quit. I don’t want to be the one to throw it in your face.”

  “Believe me, you aren’t. Olivia drinks sometimes.”

  “Really?” His eyes widened.

  “Yeah, but I don�
�t hold it against her. I can’t. She can handle her drink. I can’t.”

  “I got the impression you controlled it well enough to make sure you couldn’t hear anything.”

  “I guess.” I shrugged. “But an alcoholic is still an alcoholic. Things are much better now. I actually remember things. I don’t wake up wondering what I did the night before or how much of a fool I made of myself.” I shook my head as I toyed with a fork. “You have no idea how many times I woke up in a police cell or on the bathroom floor.”

  My cheeks flamed. I was on a date. He didn’t want to hear about me passing out because I’d had too much to drink.

  “So what made you stop?”

  “Stop?” I frowned.

  “Drinking. Was there a moment or an event?” He sipped his beer after it was slid onto the table by our near-silent host.

  “You could say that.” I glanced down at my nails as if they were the most interesting thing in the world.

  “You don’t have to talk about it.” He held up his hands. “I know that’s a really personal question.”

  “I don’t mind. I’m just a bit embarrassed.”

  “Why?”

  “Well, there were a few reasons. Olivia has been an absolute Godsend. She was there when I was at rock bottom, and without her I never would’ve even thought about stopping, let alone gotten this far. And then there was . . . you.” I found the courage to meet his eyes.

  “Me?” He held his hand to his chest. “But I only met you for one night.”

  “And you accepted me for who I was. You listened. You didn’t judge. Or if you did, you did it silently.” I smiled. “It was just what I needed. You were the first person I told, and I needed that acceptance. You made me think about what I was doing and why. And you gave me a glimpse of what my life could be like.”

  “Wow.” He sat back. “I don’t think anyone has ever said anything that nice about me.”

  “It’s not nice, it’s the truth. You being you helped me, Jake. And I’ll never forget that.”

  He sat in stunned silence, his jaw working as if he was going to say something and then thought better of it.

  I wasn’t sure what to say. Who knew that a first date could get so heavy.