Love Notes (Equilibrium Book 1)

by Christina C Jones

  “Whassup’, you got a problem?” I asked, only for her to twist her head into a disapproving tilt that sent a low, “Ooooh,” through the shop.

  “Don’t encourage this diva shit,” I scolded them, then returned my gaze to her, waiting for a response. She stared for a few more seconds then returned to her feet, purring as she snaked through my legs and then disappeared into the back again, flexing her tail.

  As soon as she was gone, Carter laughed. “So I guess she approves?”

  “With her, it’s hard to tell,” I told him, shaking my head as we finished cleaning up. Storm was just about as moody as her name suggested, even though I’d chosen it because of her gray and white coloring. Like me, she’d been a stray, and I quickly learned what the conventional wisdom of not feeding them was all about. I didn’t mind the shit though, honestly. Me and her had a bit in common.

  I was dusting off my hands when the shop phone rang, and I moved to pick it up, knowing that Carter’s presence was simply his weekly drop-in.

  “Fresh Cuts,” I answered, as the shop exploded in an uproar about something else, so loud that I had to press a finger to my ear in an attempt to hear what the woman on the line was saying.

  “… local photographer, just opened up in Mahogany Heights. Right across from you actually, but anyway… I have this idea for a photo series I’d like to do, to get my name out around town. I’d love it if I could have your permission to come in and get a few shots. It wouldn’t take long, I promise, and I’ll just fade into the background, no need to do anything special, or go to any trouble. So… can I?”

  I shrugged, barely understanding what she was talking about as one of the customers stood up in the middle of the floor, telling a wildly offensive joke, with gestures, that made me glad Annette was the only woman in the room – she was laughing the hardest.

  “Uh, hold on,” I told her, then looked around, catching Carter’s attention. “Yo, some lady is on the phone, asking if she can come in and take pictures of the shop?”

  He frowned. “For what, like a Yelp review or something?”

  “Nah, a photo series or something. She’s a photographer, says she’s right across the street from us.” I moved a bit so I could see out the window, and sure enough, the previously empty storefront across the street now boasted a logo on the front window. Love Notes Photography, it said, with a sketch of an old-school polaroid underneath, with a heart serving as the subject of the photograph. “See?” I told Carter, pointing out the window.

  “Oh she’s local? Yeah, she’s good then. We support our own,” he said, then tossed up a hand in a parting gesture as he headed out.

  “Yeah,” I said, putting the phone back up to my ear. “The owner says it’s cool, so I guess you can come by whenever, if we’re supposed to just… be on some “everyday” sh- stuff.”

  “Really?!” she squealed in my ear, and I laughed at her excitement. “Oh my God, thank you!” she said, or… at least I thought that was what she said, because now Annette was cussing Monty out.

  “Uh, you’re welcome. We’ll see you when you come in,” I told her, quickly hanging up the phone so I could handle the drama between Monty and Annette.

  The day went by fast after that, with all the typical shit that came along with a Friday in the shop. Keeping the vibe mellow, making sure everything was stocked, keeping things running smoothly, in between making sure my clients were taken care of.

  By the end of the day, I was exhausted.

  I declined the invitation to go out and kick it – I’d gotten myself in enough trouble with that the night before, so I was taking this one off. Monty, Russ, and Annette clowned me a little bit for it, but I took it in stride, because I really was okay with not being part of the crowd.

  Hell… I was used to it.

  I left through the front door instead of the back this time, after giving Storm a chance to come with me. As usual for a Friday, she paid me dust, dismissing me with a flick of her tail as I headed out.

  Something pulled my attention to the storefront across the street, prompting me to jog across as soon as the traffic was clear enough. The lights inside were off, but the street lights were enough for me to peep the walls of shelving, and track lighting overhead that had been added.

  I can’t even remember seeing anybody over here.

  Still though… good for her. She seemed excited that we’d said yes, but like Carter said, we took care of our own. The success of new businesses enriched the community as a whole, so I was with it. Instead of keeping up my nosiness, I headed toward home, shaking my head as I passed UG. I was trying not to remember last night, but… that didn’t really work.

  As soon as I stepped in front of my building, that first kiss played in my head. I’d done it right here, in full view of the world, like it didn’t matter who saw. And… it didn’t, not really, outside of the fact that I had no business kissing a damn stranger.

  Definitely not the way I’d kissed her, exploring her mouth like I planned to commit it to memory and map it. The kind of kiss that had started a chain reaction I couldn’t stop if I wanted to, ending with me…

  Fretting over this shit like you’re PMSing?

  Yeah.

  That part.

  Wherever the hell she was, I doubted she was stressing over this the way I was. She was probably getting ready to look just as good as she had last night, ready to live it up all over again. As I pulled the door open to my building, I took a long glance down the street, where I could still somewhat see Urban Grind…

  I quickly shook away the thread of curiosity that wondered if she’d be there again tonight.

  Even if she would, I would not, because I was taking my ass inside, to go back to what I’d been doing in the first place – growing the fuck up. I didn’t need to put a childish bet behind it, or put anything else on the line. I’d had my slip up, and now it was time to reset my sights… or something.

  Honestly?

  I wasn’t even sure what the hell I was doing.

  Three.

  “So you’re really, like… for real… not going to tell me?”

  Disbelief dripped from Anika’s frown as she stopped midway up the ladder she was climbing to look at me, as if there was anything ambiguous about what I’d said.

  “Yes,” I told her, for what had to be the twentieth time since the morning after our trip to Urban Grind. So, three days. Long enough for her to get the picture that no, I wasn’t telling who I’d spent the night with. I greatly preferred letting it remain a mystery in my head, something I could look back on with my own little secret internal grin, without the pesky details. I’d been lucky enough that Anika had been half-distracted that night, and hadn’t picked up on the fact that I was sitting with someone at all, so she couldn’t ruin it for me either.

  I didn’t want to know who my mystery lover was.

  It was damn near guaranteed that whoever he was, he came with drama – he was too fine not to. I understood well enough that it was nearly impossible for his identity to remain a secret very long – Mahogany Heights wasn’t that big of a neighborhood – but I wanted to preserve the mystique as long as I could.

  Which included keeping the details from my well-meaning, nosy cousin.

  “What if he’s an ex?” she asked, continuing up the ladder to finish hanging the system I planned to use for photo backdrops. “That would be a complete violation of girl code.”

  I rolled my eyes at the blankets I was pulling out of fresh packaging to shelve in color-coordinated stacks. I’d eagerly accepted Nik’s help with continuing to set up my studio this morning, but – stupidly – hadn’t anticipated her digging into me about this.

  “Nah, you would’ve told me about this one. I’m confident.”

  There was no way Anika wouldn’t have gone on and on about smooth, super-rich dark skin slathered on a man like the one I’d indulged in a few nights ago. She would’ve given me every delicious detail, and I would’ve soaked it – the same thing I would d
o with her, once I was finished relishing it for myself.

  “Damn. That nice, huh?”

  “Yes,” I told her, closing my eyes for a second to remember the feeling of his lips on my skin. “And I promise, I will tell you about it later, it’s just that right now… I’m still processing.”

  Back on the floor, Anika crossed her arms, pursing her lips as she glared at me through the lenses of her stylishly thick, tan and black glasses. She held that expression for a few seconds before she tossed her hands up. “Fine then. Keep your little secrets for now. But know that I expect every detail within the month.”

  “I think that’s doable,” I said, pulling out the last blanket – a brown one – and stacking it in the appropriate place on the shelf before I moved to the boxes of faux flowers. “But, I’d really like to know why you’re so pressed about this?”

  She scoffed as she began picking up the packaging I’d left behind, stuffing it into a ball in her arms. “Uh, why wouldn’t I be? You’ve been here all of two seconds and you’re already living better than me. I need your secrets, cousin.”

  “What you need is to stop letting these dudes get in your head,” I scolded, earning an eye roll. “Okay, I deserve that. But seriously? You cut off all your hair over somebody named Oliver?”

  “Uh, no,” she corrected with a finger in the air, tucking the ball of refuse under her arm. “I cut off my hair because I wanted… to be more than that, you know? Like, can I still feel confident, can I still feel… sexy, without having that to hide behind.”

  I stopped what I was doing to give her my full attention. “So?”

  “So…” she shrugged. “I’m… still working it out. Everybody isn’t you, Jules.”

  I pressed a hand to my chest. “Me? What do I have to do with anything, what did I do?”

  “You didn’t do anything, crazy girl,” Anika chuckled. “You just…are everything, effortlessly. You’re confident, clearly comfortable in your own skin, you’re fine as hell—”

  “Oh my God,” I interrupted. “You are easily the “fine” one between the two of us, and you always have been. There has never been a point in your life where you didn’t have a man falling all over himself to get to you.”

  She scoffed. “Yeah, falling all over themselves to compete over who can be the worst trash. These men see curly hair, somewhat light skin, and a fat ass, and they rush straight to me to waste my goddamn time. You never have that problem.”

  “You wanna know my secret weapons? Not wanting to end up like my mother was – so far up a man’s ass that his shit is the only thing I can see. Or you could try feeling so lonely and out of place that depression convinces you that casual sex and one-time encounters are all you’re worthy of. That was a fun couple of years, but your parents actually love you, and modeled a healthy relationship, so I dunno if that one would work for you.”

  “Jules!” she scolded, dropping the bundle from her arms. “Don’t say stuff like that!”

  “So don’t tell the truth, or…?” Anika groaned, but I laughed it off. “I don’t know why you’re so bothered by it. I’m not. Not anymore.”

  “I…” Anika stopped herself, letting out a heavy sigh. Probably because she knew I wasn’t exaggerating, knew I wasn’t just making this shit up. “Okay. I’m not going there with you right now.”

  “Thank you.”

  “But,” she added, raising a finger. “Those things aside… you have a confidence that’s enviable. You don’t take any bullshit, you don’t let anybody walk over you, and I just… want some of that.”

  “Anika, I developed those qualities out of necessity, you know that. Again – your parents were everything they were supposed to be – protectors, and nurturers—”

  “And they did the same for you, Jules!”

  “I’m not denying that!” I told her, holding up my hands. “Not for one minute. Darcy and Will saved my life Nik, I know. But you have to understand that it’s not the same, no matter how much they tried to make it so. I’m grateful, and I don’t mean to sound otherwise.”

  Anika sighed again. “You don’t. I just… I really wish it had been enough, to make up for… you know.”

  “I do,” I nodded, trying hard not to give in to the tears building behind my eyelids. “But… whatever, you know? It’s done. I’m a grown woman now, and so are you, Nik. I know it’s easier said than done, and I know you… like being in love. You love the warm and fuzzies, and the butterflies, and all that but… you can’t keep letting these guys take advantage of that, and bleed you dry,” I told her, reaching to grab and squeeze her hand. “You’re one of the best people I know. You’re so warmhearted, and affectionate, and smart, and beautiful. You wanna know my secret now, for keeping anybody in my life? You have to treat me as well as I treat me. No exceptions. You give people room to be human, of course, but you don’t have to eat bullshit just because it’s what these motherfuckers are serving. Be hungry if you have to, but at least you’ll be whole.”

  Anika stared at me for a few long seconds before her face crumpled into a sob. Abandoning my flower sorting, I pulled her into the hug I knew she needed, letting her sniffle against my shoulder.

  “When did you get all motivational and deep and shit?” she sniffed, when she finally stepped back.

  I laughed. “Girl, bye. I stole all of that from this girl I followed when I was on social media, “Noah Knows”. I went to one of her live show things out in Cali, and… she knows how to verbally snatch your shit.”

  “Well,” Anika nodded, wiping her face with the backs of her hands. “Consider me snatched. And… hungry. I’ve… been on a diet, since Oliver.”

  “Good,” I nodded. “And you look like a damn goddess without all that hair, so yes, you’re still sexy. Own that.”

  “Yes ma’am.”

  I laughed, pulling her into another tight squeeze of a hug. “Okay so speaking of trash ass men, you never told me what was up with you and Royal.”

  She rolled her eyes at just the mention of him. “Ugh. I can barely believe him and Roman are from the same family. I’m pretty sure he thinks he’s going to get in my panties before he leaves, which – not gonna happen. So arrogant, but not like, in a good way. So narcissistic. So…”

  “Fine? Cause he is. That motherfucker is pretty.”

  “Isn’t he?” Nik said, in a disappointed tone. “Such a waste.”

  “Of someone else’s time, and not yours. This is what we call a blessing, sis!” I laughed, and Nik joined me.

  “You know what, I think you’re right,” she agreed. “But hey… uh… so you know my parents are like, right on the verge of just popping up on you, right?”

  I pushed out a sigh, then went back to sorting the flowers. “Yeah, I suspected my time was limited. How much time you think I have?”

  “Like a week. Tops. But uh… why are you avoiding them? I thought you’d be excited to see them.”

  “Well, I would be, if I didn’t already know Aunt Darcy was going to try to talk about my mother, and if I didn’t know Uncle Will was gonna try to put a check in my hand. You know your people don’t take no for an answer.”

  Anika cackled. “I think you mean our people, but… you’re not lying on them. You gon’ get this love, whether you want it not.”

  “Is that what it is?”

  “Yes, and you know that, grumpy pants,” she accused, joining me to line up the flowers. “When did you get so anti-love?”

  I scoffed. “Right about the time I realized people will manipulate and use it against you.”

  “The wrong people, yeah.”

  “Says the hopeless romantic.”

  “Jules.”

  “Damnit, Anika, fine,” I laughed. “I know, okay? Darcy and Will think of me as a bonus daughter, they just want to love on me, and it’s okay to allow that. You happy now?”

  She sucked her teeth. “No. But it’ll do for now. Just know that you’re on a ticking clock with this too. And unlike hearing about your little one-nig
ht-stand, this, I’m taking personally.”

  I frowned. “Why though?”

  “Because, bonus daughter, you packed up and moved across the country as soon as you graduated high school, and took goddamn nine years to come back, and then now that you’re back, you’re treating them like an afterthought. It’s hurting my mother’s feelings. And you know how I feel about people hurting her feelings.”

  I did.

  It was about the only thing that brought the real bitch out in Anika – a bitch whose bad side I did not want to be on.

  “Uh-uh,” she said, holding up a hand as soon as I opened my mouth to defend myself. “I don’t want to hear your lil explanation, cause I already know. Mama looks like Aunt Doreen, and it’s… probably not easy for you. I’m just saying… my mother didn’t do anything wrong. She tried to do right by you, to make up for… everything else. I just want you to consider that.”

  I swallowed. “I do, Nik,” I told her quietly, looking at the burlap roses in my hand, instead of at her. “And I’ll… I’ll call her this week, okay?”

  She nodded. “Okay. Sorry if I’m doing too much.”

  “You’re not. Sorry or doing too much,” I said, playfully nudging her shoulder with mine. “I need to do better, and I will.”

  Nik grinned. “Oh, if I don’t know a thing else about Juliet Nichols, is that she will always, “do better”. You’re like, queen of leveling up. That’s how I know Love Notes is gonna do well.”

  “Thank you for that vote of confidence.” I put the last of the flowers in place and then stepped back, sighing over how aesthetically pleasing the color-coordination was. “I didn’t leave my principal photography position at Glow to fail, but success is damn sure no guarantee.”

  Shaking her head, Anika picked up the discarded ball of packaging from the blankets, stuffing it into the box the flowers had come from. “Girl, please. Everybody around here is going to love you.”