Love Notes (Equilibrium Book 1)

by Christina C Jones

  Luckily, I was interrupted by the server coming by to check on us. That gave me enough distraction to switch gears, approaching the topic from a different direction.

  “So… you decided what you were going to do about the letter yet? Are you going to reach out?”

  “Yes, actually,” he nodded. “I decided earlier today, while I was at the shop. Realized there was no point in avoiding what I said I wanted, you know? And, it’s been a minute now, at this point, that he’s known about me. I don’t want to have him thinking I don’t want to meet, because I definitely do. I even finally looked at the page with his name. Marshall.”

  I gasped, and immediately knew I’d overplayed it from the look on his face.

  “Jules…”

  “He emailed me,” I blurted out, words that made Troy sit way forward in his chair.

  “What the hell do you mean, he emailed you. How the hell would he know about us?”

  “He doesn’t,” I told him, lifting my hands to calm him. “He reached out because of the pictures from the barbershop. I put them on social media, remember? Apparently, people had been tagging him in the pictures, to show him, “hey, this guy looks like you.” I guess once Roots told him he had a brother, he put two and two together, and reached out.”

  “And you responded?”

  “No! No! I didn’t even see it until today, and I have not said anything back. I wouldn’t, not without talking to you about it. Well… maybe in like another month if you were still tripping I would’ve arranged for me to be there with my camera when he walked into the shop like “surprise muhfuckas!” but that’s not even relevant right now, you know?”

  “Jules…”

  “You’re not the ugly twin. You’re both extra fine.”

  He scowled. “How in the world…”

  “He sent his social media information, and I mean… I wasn’t strong enough to not look. I vetted him for you. He looks like a totally normal guy, has a girlfriend and job and everything.”

  Troy’s expression softened. “You saw all that?”

  “I did. You want me to tell you?” He hesitated for a second, then nodded, only to scowl again when I shook my head, laughing. “Boy, I am not telling you a damn thing. You will find out when you reach out, and then we can talk about it. Because there is plenty to talk about.”

  “Yo, you are not right for this,” he chuckled.

  “I think I am absolutely right. And I think you shouldn’t look him up before you guys talk. If you already know everything about each other from stalking on social media, what is there to learn in the conversation, you know? I want you to be able to have that experience.”

  He nodded. “I’ll take that under advisement.”

  “Thank you. And now… you ready to get out of here?”

  “Yeah, we can head out.”

  We got the server’s attention to pay the check and then headed out. Long, expectant looks permeated the car ride back to my apartment, and by the time we were heading up the stairs, I couldn’t wait anymore.

  Troy was apparently on the same low-patience plan, because he responded eagerly to the kiss I pulled him into, pressing my back against the wall beside the door. His hands went to my ass again as he devoured my mouth, his fingers digging through the fabric of my dress, feeling so good that I was ready to hike my legs around his waist and have him pull my panties to the side right there.

  “Daaaamn.”

  My eyes rolled back, in annoyance instead of pleasure, at the sound of Josiah’s voice, coming up the stairs.

  “I see y’all made nice, that’s what’s up,” he said, approaching us like a conversation was about to happen. “This the one you decided was more than just something to do?” he asked. “You about to give him the sugar you wouldn’t let me taste the other night?”

  “Josiah!”

  “Aiight,” Troy said, running his tongue over his lips before he turned around, getting between me and Josiah, and right in his face. “Do me and you have a problem, bruh?”

  “If you back the fuck up off me, nah, we don’t,” Josiah shot back, and I moved around them just in time to see Troy smirk, shaking his head.

  “Nah, see… the right answer is yeah. We do have a fucking problem, and the way we’re gonna solve it is that you shut the fuck up when you see me, you shut the fuck up when you see her, and you especially shut the fuck up when you see me and her together. It’s an easy solution, bruh… I suggest you employ it.”

  “Man, who the fuck—”

  “That’s the wrong question,” Troy interrupted, pushing his hands into his pockets. “The right question is what I’m gonna do if you don’t solve the problem. And the answer is that I’m gonna break your goddamn jaw. Now, let me walk you through that – your jaw is broken, so badly that they’re gonna have to wire your shit shut. You can call the police about that, it’s fine. But that won’t change the fact that your face is fucked up, maybe permanently. You can’t sing your little bullshit songs with your jaw wired shut, and who knows if you’ll ever be the same again anyway? So now your life is all messed up, for six months to a year, maybe even longer, all because you didn’t know to shut the fuck up. So what are we doing here, man?”

  Inwardly, I hoped Josiah was going to do as Troy demanded, shut the fuck up, because there wasn’t a doubt in my mind that he really would get his jaw broken tonight. I cringed as a vein in the side of Josiah’s head flexed – in contrast, Troy was really calm – making it seem like ego might win over common sense. But then, Josiah shrugged, mumbling “Whatever” under his breath as he turned away. Quickly, I stepped in front of Troy, eyebrows raised, encouraging him to let that one little word slide.

  “Come into the apartment please,” I said quietly, tugging at his arms. It was once I touched him that I realized how tense he was – not nearly as relaxed as he looked – but that didn’t stop me from urging him on.

  Inside my apartment, I turned to him, nervously chewing on my lip.

  “Okay… about what he said… I should probably explain.”

  Troy held up a hand, shaking his head. “Let me guess? Salty ex?”

  “Basically.”

  “That explains enough. I’m knocking him in his head if he says shit else.”

  I let out a dry laugh. “Josiah’s looks and singing ability are his only source of income. He won’t be saying anything else. And for the sake of clarity, he wasn’t actually an ex. We were never a couple, and it was years ago.”

  “He needs to let the shit go then.”

  “I agree,” I told him, raising an eyebrow. “But while we’re on the subject of exes who need to let shit go… you could have given me a little warning about Mia.”

  Troy’s eyes went a little wider, and he groaned. “Shit. What did she do?”

  “Only completely fuck up the vibe of my shoot with her bullshit.”

  “She said something to you?! That was a minute ago, and you didn’t say anything?”

  I scoffed. “Of course she didn’t say anything to me directly. Fair warning though? She pulls anything else, I’m hurting her feelings. And possibly her face.”

  “Yo, do what you gotta, but listen…” he approached me, wrapping arms around me to pull me against his chest. “I’m tired of talking about them. I’m hungry.”

  I pulled my head back, frowning. “I just watched you completely smash that chicken at dinner, not even thirty minutes ago. You can’t possibly be hungry already.”

  “Oh but I can.” He dropped his hands, dipping low enough to get under my dress and grab my ass. “Remember the meal you promised before we left?”

  “Oh!” I said, grinning as I stepped out of his grasp to untie my dress, letting it fall open to reveal my black lace lingerie underneath. “In that case… why don’t you come on back here to my bed—I mean… the table?”

  Ten.

  “You’re so cute when you’re nervous,” Jules said, wrapping her arms around me from behind, and then peeking past me, into the mirror.

&n
bsp; I shook my head, still moving the brush over the tapered sides of my hair. “I’m not nervous. I’m—”

  “You’ve been standing here brushing the same spot for like five minutes.”

  My hand stopped moving. “Seriously?”

  Her arms tightened around my waist as she nodded. “Seriously.”

  “Shit,” I said, dropping the brush onto the counter. “I guess I’m nervous.”

  She grinned. “Yeah. But it’s okay though. I’d be nervous too, if I were meeting my long-lost twin today.”

  Of all the things to kiss, she chose my bicep and then moved on, leaving the bathroom to put her own clothes on while I stood there… being nervous.

  From what I could tell from the two phone conversations we’d had, Marshall was cool. A lot like me, actually. Laid back, not really into the party shit anymore, after doing way too much of it in his twenties. He had a fiancé – a fine ass fiancé at that, and he’d been proud as hell to spill the beans about her brand-new pregnancy. Those two pieces of news would’ve made me jealous if I wasn’t so damn happy for him – that’s just how corny I was about this thing. Know a motherfucker for two days, and already hype about a potential niece or nephew. A sister in law.

  It was crazy.

  But what was craziest?

  He lived less than an hour away.

  Mahogany Heights was essentially a suburb of the city of Blackwood, which is where I’d taken Jules for dinner, at Honeybee. Marshall lived and worked on the other side of the city – had since he moved back, after college.

  All this time, my brother was an hour away, forty minutes without traffic.

  When I contacted him – the day after Jules told me he’d reached out – he was out of town, so our reunion had to wait. Today, he was getting off a plane, and instead of going home first he was coming here, since Mahogany Heights was closer to the airport anyway.

  And… yeah. I was nervous.

  I couldn’t verbalize a good reason for it if I tried, and it wasn’t as if knowing the why would make it go away. Instead of sweating it any further, I left the bathroom to find Jules sitting on my couch, strapping sandals onto her feet.

  “So, I’ll see you later, okay?” she told me, standing once she was done. “Remember, I’m gonna pop by UG to check on you, make sure you’re doing okay. Not freaking him out or anything.”

  I frowned. “Jules, you know damn well you’re “popping by” UG to be nosy, because you want to see him too. Don’t front.”

  “Troy!” she said, fake-gasping like I was lying on her. “Are you implying that I don’t care how this goes for you?”

  “Not at all. I’m implying that your ass is nosy.”

  “That’s so disrespectful, but I know you’re having a moment, so I’m gonna just let that slide,” she told me, putting a hand on my chest. “I promise, I won’t interrupt if it looks like you’re fine. I’ll peek in, get my coffee, and go.”

  “You don’t even drink coffee,” I laughed, swatting her on the butt as she moved away, heading for the door. “But you’re welcome to come say hello.”

  She looked back, frowning. “Duh. Why wouldn’t you want your brother to know you were dealing with a woman this fine?”

  “Your skirt is on backward, mama.”

  She looked down, and laughed. “Thank you,” she said, reaching to turn it to the right direction. “And thank you for breakfast this morning as well.”

  “Least I could do after last night,” I told her, with a wink that made her do a little memory-induced wiggle as she bit her lip. There was a whole lot of power in those toned thighs of hers, and I was grateful.

  “Let me get out of here before I have to talk you into another ride. Bye,” she said, blowing me a kiss before she breezed through the door to start her morning.

  I wasn’t supposed to meet Marshall until eleven, so I spent my first hours of the day at the barbershop. Did a few cuts, laughed at Monty and Russ cutting up, and then headed out at the exact right time to put me at UG at eleven on the dot.

  I’d just grabbed a booth for us when he walked in, carrying a duffle bag that probably held his barbering equipment and clothes over his shoulder. It was easy to spot him – he looked just like me. But somehow, it was still a little vertigo-inducing that damn… this dude looked just like me.

  Only, me from before I met Jules.

  Marshall still had his locs – shoulder length, and just about the same size that mine had been. It was almost comical to see him walk in, and watch people who were familiar with me do a double-take. I stood up, grabbing his attention, and as soon as he spotted me, a wide smile – my smile – spread across his face.

  We did just the standard handshake at first, but that shit felt weirdly insufficient, to me at least. I quickly figured out that the feeling was mutual, when Marshall shrugged and then pulled me into a hug that felt much more… adequate.

  I hugged him for a long ass time, and he hugged me back, and I really didn’t give a damn what might’ve been going through the heads of anybody around us. The only thing I cared about was that I was finally in front of the person I’d been missing all my life, without even knowing he existed.

  “So what’s good bruh?” he asked when we finally broke apart, and sat down. “Literally, my damn brother.”

  I laughed as I sat back in my chair, completely free of the nerves that had plagued me that morning. “Man… I can’t call it. You talked to your girl, let her know you landed and all that?”

  “First thing I did when I got off the plane. Don’t be surprised if she sneaks her little ass in here. She’s been on ten since I told her about this, and if she can get away from the salon long enough, she would definitely make the drive to lurk and be nosy.”

  I shook my head. “Man… I’d laugh if I didn’t have somebody I’m expecting to pop up at any second to “check on me”.”

  “The one you told me about? The photographer?”

  “Yep. I wouldn’t say she’s on ten, but definitely a strong seven.”

  Marshall chuckled. “Just means she gives a damn man. Nothing wrong with that.”

  “Not at all. You talked to your parents?” I asked, and Marshall scrubbed a hand over his chin – he didn’t have a full beard like me, opting for a cleaner look instead. Still, I recognized the body language – the exact same nervous shit I did myself.

  He did a slow nod. “Yeah, actually. I did.”

  It was something he’d mentioned during one of our phone conversations. He’d been adopted as a baby, presumably from the same place that I’d been too. Now that we knew about each other, he wondered why we’d been separated. I had the same question, but those were his parents, so I hadn’t really said much about it, not wanting to influence him either way. But having heard his story, knowing that they gave him a great life, while mine had been drastically different… I wanted to know.

  “So what did they say?” I prodded, even though I understood it couldn’t have been an easy conversation. And based on his expression, I doubted it was something I really wanted to hear. But I knew he would tell me anyway.

  He shrugged. “It’s… fucked up, honestly. They were always open with me about the adoption, but they never said shit about me having a twin brother.”

  “So they knew?”

  “Yeah. They knew. My mother broke down in tears over the phone, dad pissed cause I made her cry.”

  My eyebrows went up. “Shit, man. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to—”

  “You’re good, man. It’ll blow over. But, the story is that they went, they saw us, knew they could only afford one kid, so they had to choose. They picked me because they felt bad for me. I was sick, nose running, wouldn’t stop crying. The other baby – you – was calm and collected. Happy. They figured you would easily get chosen by some other family, but me… not so much. They picked me because I was the more pitiful one.”

  “Wow.”

  Marshall grunted. “Yeah, I had just about the same reaction. I hope you don’t mind –
I told them what you told me of your story… that you didn’t have the life they may have liked to think you had. That’s when my mother had to get off the phone, so I was talking to my father. He says that after about a year, you were still on their minds, so they went back. But that agency was gone – had gotten taken over by the state, and all the records were sealed, so they couldn’t find you. This was like thirty years ago, so it’s like… no such thing as a viral tweet to help you out, you know?”

  “Yeah, I get it. Hell, even now, something like that probably wouldn’t be easy, so… I’m not mad or anything. I just wanted to know.”

  “I understand,” he nodded. “For what it’s worth, my parents are very interested in meeting you. My mother actually sent me a text this morning, since she knew about this meeting. Wanted me to tell you she was sorry, and that she’d love a chance to hug her “long-lost son”. If you’re into that. The shit is weird, I know, so… don’t feel like you gotta do it.”

  Shaking my head, I laughed. “Nah, man, I’m not gonna play her like that. Honestly… I’m in a place where I’m looking at all of this like a blessing, no complaints. I had some tough times growing up, yeah, not gonna lie, but…” I sighed. “It’s the past. I survived it. I’m here now, and not really trying to look back.”

  “That’s what’s up,” Marshall said, reaching across the space between us to dap me up. “I like your attitude about it, and I know they’ll be glad to hear it. They’re big on family, and ready to pull you into it, whenever you’re ready for that. And trust me. Your ass needs to prepare for the Holmes family.”

  I chuckled. “Damn, it’s like that?”

  “No exaggeration.”

  “What do we have here?”

  Goddamnit.

  I looked up to see Mia standing between our chairs, hands propped on her hips.

  “Troy, you never told me you had a fine ass brother. How are you?” she asked, addressing Marshall with an outstretched hand, which he politely accepted – wrong damn move, because she took it as a license to sit down on the arm of his chair. “I’m Mia,” she purred. “You are?”