The Rage Room

by Lisa de Nikolits

  “I don’t regret that,” I said.

  Sting Ray Bob laughed. “Course you don’t, buddy.”

  “Guys!” Janaelle reined us in. “We’ll have to head back to St. Adrian’s. It will be good for Sharps anyway. He can get some rest.”

  “But we’ll have to bring him back again,” Sting Ray Bob said. “He’s programmed to jump at St. Drogo’s. I can fix a lot of things, but not that.” He sounded like a whiny little kid. I wanted to laugh at him, but it wasn’t funny.

  “We’ll bring him back,” Jaxen said.

  As he spoke, the lights came on. “We’re going back to St. Adrian’s.” Janaelle was firm. “We’ve got time. Sharps needs to rest and think. Sharps, we can try a form of hypnotherapy to try to reach what it was about your mother.”

  “Sure, as long as it’s not the Hockney man digging around with a scalpel and chasing me.” I was about to elaborate about what that meant, but it was too much effort.

  “And there’s another thing,” I said while they were gathering up their equipment. “Jazza said there was something about Celeste I didn’t know. He said it both times like it was really important.”

  “There’s no way for us to know if you don’t,” Jaxen said, and I felt stupid, a kid who had asked the wrong question.

  We drove back to St. Adrian’s, and the world looked weird. The Disney chemiluminescence of our world had been snuffed out. The other-worldly glow that had characterized our life was no more. Generators were starting to kick in, but the world had lost its shiny all-powerful neon radiance. Cars moved slowly, and the city was like a scared beast, crouching in the shadows.

  I hoped we wouldn’t have to walk for two hours through the forest to get to the tree elevator, but I needn’t have worried. We entered via a bridge under a railway, moving into shadow as an electronic gate slid open and closed silently behind us.

  The others were silent as we unpacked the car, and the mood was grim. I was relieved when Norman came running out to the car and threw his arms around Janaelle. “I heard there were no casualties, but I was scared shitless,” he said. “It wasn’t supposed to do it now, was it?”

  Janaelle shook her head. “And no one’s said anything. Radio silence, although the communicators are wired for sound and good to go. None of us knows anything except that the Vatican has been hacked to hell and gone.”

  “They should have told us.” Norman was angry. “We voted on it. But some people always think they know best. We’re not ready, none of us.”

  Janaelle shrugged. “We’d never be ready. Maybe it’s better they went ahead.” We heard the sound of thunder and looked at each other in alarm. Rain in the middle of the morning? It was unscheduled, unheard of. And thunder had long since been programmed out because it disturbed dogs and children and some old folks.

  “Viewing tower,” Janaelle shouted over the noise, and I followed the others at a run to the far end of the building. We crammed into a tight elevator. I, by all rights, should have been told to stay behind, but I wanted to know what was happening. It took forever for the elevator to get to the top, and I thought Knox would have imploded, if he’d been with us.

  We were on the top of a tall smokestack, thankfully under cover, and we were squeezed closely together. By happenstance, I was next to Janaelle. I loved the feel of her body against mine. But what I didn’t love was the landscape that lay before me. Day had turned to night. Lightning shot out from the black sky, and the rain was a torrent, a waterfall, relentlessly pummelling the earth. As we watched, rivers formed and swept through the forest, flattening the earth it left in its wake. Black clouds slammed across the sky, speeded up and wild, flashing their anger at having been held in check for so long.

  “When will it stop?” I asked, and Norman shook his head.

  “We have no idea. This is Real Life nature. We’ve got no control. And no way of tracking the data. Meteorology died when the satellite dishes were given control of the weather system.”

  “But surely you and the Warriors were ready for this?”

  “We didn’t think it would be as immediate,” Jaxen admitted, “or this intense. The most widely held view was that the weather was in a holding pattern and would carry on doing what it had been guided it to do, but clearly we were very wrong.”

  I was about to ask about the Eden Collective and if she knew if Mother and Ava were in charge—and if Ava was actually OctoOne, which I was beginning to suspect, but she turned and left. “I’m going to try to contact Head Office again,” she shouted, and I ran after her, leaving the others on the platform.

  We got into the elevator and then Janaelle surprised me. She stepped up close, fast and smooth, and she kissed me. I grabbed her around the waist and pulled her as tight as I could. We kissed the whole way down, and what had seemed like a long trip up lost no time in getting to the ground.

  35. PUT IT IN WRITING

  “AH, SHARPS,” SHE SAID WHEN WE GOT OUT and the elevator doors closed behind us, “bad timing. You and me. I don’t know why, but I do like you. More than like you. Maybe it’s chemistry. Maybe it’s just your body and my body and no more than that. I’ve tried so hard to be more than a body, to conquer it, and not be a slave to its needs. But it hungers, aches, and tires. I hate it for that frailty. And now it seems it wants you.”

  “No,” I said and hugged her close. She’d blown so hot and then so cold. I wasn’t going to let go of her this time. “We have a thing. We have a connection, a mental and emotional connection, a spiritual one—yes, spiritual. The essence of me connects with the essence of you, and even though there will be fundamental differences in the way we see the world and how we react to it, we’re connected.”

  We were still standing outside the elevator, and she buried her head in my neck. “Maybe,” she murmured. “But really, this is very bad timing.”

  The elevator pinged, and Jaxen and Norman came out.

  “Lovebirds,” Jaxen said, and he sounded amused. “Get a room, why don’t you? Seriously, we’ve got time. The rain will fall and we will gather data. Norman and I will be the responsible ones keeping an eye on things. You two go and get the carnal longing out of your system.”

  “Yeah, the sexual tension is killing us,” Norman agreed.

  Janaelle grinned and grabbed my hand. “See you tomorrow,” she said, and we hurried down the hall. She pulled me onto her bed, and for a fleeting moment I was convinced my dick would fail me, that the Lucky Hole dysfunction would raise its flaccid head, but it didn’t. We had encore after encore, and I was in heaven.

  “We have to figure out how to meet up after I save my kids,” I said as the clock struck midnight.

  “We will,” she said, and stroked my hair. “And we won’t leave it up to the computers. We’ll do it. Humans have always been superior to computers; we just got star-struck by our own creations. We’ll take back control.”

  “I’ve got an idea,” I said. “I’ll run away with the kids. It’s the only way. On that day, I’ll tell Celeste I was sorry for hitting her. I’ll arrange for her to have a spa day at the LetItAllGo spa where they serve non-stop cocktails, and she’ll go for sure. I’ll take the kids, and we’ll go somewhere—St. Theo’s where they’ve got that great kiddies’ carnival. I’ll get them out of the house and keep them safe through the day. Then I’ll go home with them and life will go on and we’ll have changed the storyline. But how will you find me? You have to find me, Janaelle.”

  I lay back and thought about it.

  “I know what to do. It’s like that old movie, Memento. We each write something on the other that only we’ll know is real and true. We won’t wash it off. Then when we meet again, we’ll have proof of us. I have to believe in destiny and that we’ll be together.”

  “But what if you don’t know what the message means or where it came from?”

  “But I’ve remembered you every time I’ve been back
to the past,” I insisted.

  Janaelle was silent. She got up and got dressed. “Let’s go downtown. I know a friend who runs a twenty-four-seven tattoo parlour. I think this might work.”

  “A real tattoo? I hope it won’t hurt too much,” I said, and Janaelle laughed. “You’re such a baby. What’s more important is what we’re going to write. It needs to be something I’ll immediately understand and respond to.”

  We were silent on the drive in, both of us trying to think of the perfect message, me also thinking about the pain that lay ahead. I wasn’t a big fan of needles. In fact I felt dizzy at the thought, but I didn’t want to tell Janaelle that. In the end we decided to get Janaelle’s name stencilled on the inside of my right wrist, like a rubber stamp, with Time Warrior below it. The only problem was that the woman got as far as the J and I fainted. “Sorry,” I gasped when I came around.

  Janaelle was laughing. “I don’t know if you can handle the rest. Let’s just leave it at the J.”

  “No!” I was determined. “I won’t look. Carry on.” I clenched my jaw so hard it hurt and turned my head away. The pain went on forever and tears seeped out of my eyes.

  And finally, it was over. I was red-eyed and puffy-faced, and Janaelle couldn’t stop laughing. By the time we got back to the lodge, I was annoyed with her. “Enough,” I said, looking up where the deluge continued unabated. “Mummy Earth is pretty angry with us,” Janaelle said. “And so she should be. Hey Sharps,” she said. “Look.” She pulled up her long sleeve and showed me a bandaged wrist. “I got one too, with your name. I thought if we had matching tats, we’d stand more of a chance.”

  “Gosh. And there was me, fainting and crying while you never made a sound.”

  “Which is why I love you,” she said, and the bottom dropped out from my world. I was hanging, weightless in space, waiting for her to take it back or say she didn’t mean it, but she didn’t, so I got weepy and told her I loved her too. And she laughed and I got annoyed again and it seemed so ridiculous and perfect that we both laughed, hysterical maybe, high from the sheer delight and craziness of it all.

  “The honeymooners have returned from their secret agent business,” Jaxen said when we got to the lab. “Got it out of your system, I hope. Time to get down to business. Head Office says they have no idea what’s going on. It’s all utterly out of control.”

  “If you find who did this, can you restore world order?” I asked.

  “Maybe. But we’d rather not. It wasn’t meant to happen like this, but now that it’s here, it needs to play itself out. The world needs to run its course, and if it means spitting us out, then so be it.” I looked at him. I had heard that before, but where? I sat down.

  Oh shit. “My brain feels confused,” I said, and it was true. “Things are getting mixed up. Like I know I’ve heard what you just said, from someone else, about the world running its course but I can’t remember where. I can’t think straight. I feel really weird.” I couldn’t breathe, and everything sounded weird, as if I were underwater, sitting at the bottom of a swimming pool. I was drowning, but I couldn’t find the words to express my panic.

  Janaelle looked at me in alarm. She faded from my vision, and I crumpled in a heap on the floor. I heard shouting and Jaxen talking, and then the Hockney man was in my face, pulling off my T-shirt, applying paddles to my chest. Thud, thud. The voltage shot through me, and I was pulled along the violet current of light, thud, thud, and then, nothing.

  Then, ice-white light in my eyeballs, burning, and I flinched to the side.

  “He’s back,” I heard Sting Ray Bob say, and I wanted to move but I couldn’t. “Severe cranial hemorrhaging. Must have been all that sex. He blew a fuse.”

  “Not funny,” Janaelle said, and her voice sounded shaky. “Sharps, are you awake?”

  “I’m good,” I said. I wanted to touch her, but I was trussed up, wired from head to toe and strapped down like some kind of mental patient. I started to panic, struggling against the straps, and Sting Ray Bob rushed to release me.

  “We had to tie you down. You were having seizures,” Jaxen said, and he handed me a glass of water with a straw. The cool liquid hit my palate with a thrill.

  “How long was I out?”

  “Four days. Sting Ray Bob put you in a coma to help you rest.”

  “And for once I didn’t dream of you,” I told him. “There was nothing. Just me on the floor and then me now. Do you think that’s what death is like? Just nothing? Is that what I did to my kids? Extinguished them like two little candle flames that I had the power to blow out? What’s happening in the world? Can I go back now?”

  “Easy fella,” Jaxen said. “You’re not going anywhere for ten days. No negotiations. I’ll tie you down if I have to. And no rambunctious sex. Janaelle has to go to St. Drausnius anyway. Bed rest for you, buddy.”

  “St. Drausnius? Is that safe?”

  “Safe as anywhere.” Janaelle shrugged. “A meeting of the Houses has been called, and the country formerly known as Switzerland is still, after all these years, a port in a political storm.”

  “The Houses?”

  “The Sacred Board has been dismantled. I have to go.”

  I was filled with panic. “No, you can’t,” I said, reaching for her and pulling on my IV. “You have to stay here. Do you know what’s going on yet and who’s in control?”

  “Not yet,” Jaxen admitted.

  “Where’s Minnie?”

  “Not a peep from her or Mama. They were last spotted six hours before the lights went out. Everyone’s wondering if she had something to do with this and if we’ll be hearing from her. But we do know that Head Office seized all her data and it’s in safe hands.”

  “You can’t leave,” I implored Janaelle. “You have no idea what or who you’re dealing with.”

  But Janaelle was implacable. “Wheels up this afternoon. I’ll be fine. I know how to take care of myself. Don’t you worry about me.”

  But I did worry. Meanwhile, I’d be stuck in the room for ten days. I was still exhausted and battling to keep my thoughts in order. I’d managed to make sense to the others, at least I hoped I had, but my voice sounded muffled to myself, as if it were bouncing around a long tunnel and strange things were happening to my vision. Shards of light flashed and danced, blue streaks with glints of yellow and gold. It was unnerving to say the least. I didn’t want to let on how bad I felt, but the others knew.

  “You’re pretty broken,” Sting Ray Bob said bluntly. “There’s bleeding in your cortex, and I hate to be the bearer of bad news but we found growths on your brain.”

  “Growths?” I sounded like an idiotic parrot. “What growths? Malignant?”

  “They appear to be benign. But your right carotid artery is wrapped around them, which makes it impossible for us to remove them. They won’t kill you, but they may be exerting pressure that will affect your thinking. We’re going to try to reduce them via laser surgery, but your brain, the host, is suffering from the parasitic relationship. What is interesting is that your anger levels are down. Which indicates to us that rage is a physical phenomenon and we can actually lessen anger levels via physiology.”

  “Fascinating.” I was sarcastic. “Glad I could be of help. Isn’t lessening anger via surgery called a lobotomy? Let’s try to avoid that if we can. What’s the plan? I admit, I don’t feel great.”

  “We sedate you again. We pump you full of healing steroids and antibiotics.”

  “We haven’t had antibiotics in years!” I said. “And I don’t know that I trust you messing with the arteries in my brain.”

  Sting Ray Bob grinned. “I don’t know that you’ve got much choice,” he replied. “I’ll increase the sedatives to lessen the Hockney man effects. I looked up that painting after you mentioned it. I can’t say I’m flattered, but I guess there’s a likeness there somewhere. There’s something weird about
your brain that keeps a part of you conscious, where other people would be out cold. I’ve never encountered it before.”

  “Will you be back when I wake up?” I asked Janaelle.

  She shook her head and kissed me lightly. “I’ve got no idea how long my trip will take. But I’ll try my best.”

  She and Jaxen turned to leave. “What about hypnotizing me,” I called out weakly. “To see what it was that I found out about Mother? She said something else, something important, but I can’t remember.”

  “You’re too fragile,” Sting Ray Bob said, loading up a massive syringe that made me shiver. “We might be able to do it, but I doubt it. Maybe it will come to you while you’re out. We’ll be scanning your brain constantly, and although we can’t isolate and nail down exact thoughts, we track visuals and record the visuals as you dream.”

  I flushed bright red and looked at Janaelle. “Have you watched them?”

  She came back to the bed and took my hand. “You have no secrets from me.”

  I was annoyed and embarrassed. “So you guys know exactly what goes on inside my brain, and I know jack shit about any of you?”

  “Face it, Sharps,” Jaxen snapped me back to reality, “we’re on a more elevated bandwidth than you. We weren’t supposed to get emotionally engaged, but one of us did.” He looked pointedly at Janaelle.

  “And you yourself told me you were more engaged with Subject Forty-nine than you should have been,” she shot back at him.

  Subject Forty-nine? There were forty-eight before me? “What happened to the other forty-eight?” I asked in a small voice but no one replied.

  “The most important thing you can do is heal.” Sting Ray Bob shot the vial into the tube in my arm. “Let it go, Sharps, all of it. I’ll fix you.”

  His voice faded in tandem with the image of him and I slipped away. And, while I didn’t fade away entirely, it felt quite pleasant, like I was bobbing on a soft warm sea under the stars, with moonlight above, and Janaelle by my side. And there was my boy, Bax, and he was smiling at me like he did before I hit Celeste, like I was the best thing in the whole world. And Sophie was gurgling, my sweet girl, the sweetest girl in the world, with her fat little wrists and a smile from ear to ear, her big brown eyes soft and trusting. I was happy to stay there in that world forever, but Sting Ray Bob yanked me out of those warm waters and declared me fit for duty. It was time for Jump Number Three.