Make Mine a Cowboy

by A. J. Pine

  He didn’t like seeing her that way. Worried. A little scared. It did something to him, made sympathy prickle through him, which made his arms soften around her…more like he was holding her instead of holding on for dear life. “Hey.” He leaned in close so he wouldn’t have to shout so loud. “He’s all right.” This was Luis Cortez they were talking about. The man who’d wrestled a mountain lion off one of his horses, according to local legends. “He’s probably gonna be all pissed off that we came up here after him.” In fact, he knew his dad would be pissed.

  The ATV slowed, then stuttered to a stop, reducing the engine noise to a low hum. Jessa glanced back at him. “Do you really think so?” she asked in a small wobbling tone. Even with the face shield in place he could see the paleness that had taken over her complexion.

  “Yeah.” He flicked up his face shield, then went for hers so their eyes could lock. So he could reach through her fears. “And I’ll tell you one thing,” he said with a smirk. “I’m riding down the mountain with him.”

  A shadow of a smile flickered across her lips. “You don’t like my driving.” The revelation seemed to amuse her. “That’s surprising considering you ride maniacal bulls for a living.”

  “That’s a hell of a lot safer than sitting behind you on this thing.” He meant that in more ways than one. Because the sun haloed her in a mystifying glow and for the first time ever he realized she wasn’t only pretty. Jessa was stunning—beautiful and real and deep.

  “Hey,” she scolded, her eyes narrowing. “I’m being safe. I’d never endanger—”

  “I’m teasing you,” he interrupted before she got her leopard-print thong all bunched. “Trying to lighten things up.”

  “Oh.” She looked down.

  “I’m not worried about him, Jessa,” he said more softly. “Really. The only reason I rushed over to your place was because he doesn’t have his blood pressure medication.” He grinned at her. “That and I’ve gotta get back to my training. The sooner we find him the sooner I can get back on my bull.”

  “Right. Thanks, Lance.” Jessa’s eyes shied away from his, unsure and guarded and humble. She cleared her throat and lowered the shield to cover up her delicate face, which definitely wasn’t pale anymore. Color had shaded her cheeks with the same heat he felt flickering somewhere deep.

  Her scent reached him, floating into the cloud of exhaust that had started to dissipate. Some type of vanilla, but light and subtle. It’d been a while since he’d inhaled a woman’s scent and a sigh expanded through him, ending in a sharp pain that descended behind his ribs. He’d lusted after plenty of women. The buckle bunnies who’d followed him around the circuit in the early days, who’d always made good on their promise of offering him a fun, uncomplicated night. That had been a different kind of ache, though. It’d never traveled any farther north than his brass belt buckle.

  “Ready then?” she murmured, the words muffled. Scooting herself into position, she clamped her hands onto the handlebars again, then cranked the engine.

  “Ready.” Heart pulsing in small bursts of a long-forgotten desire, Lance threaded his arms around her waist again, letting her back rest against his chest, this time with no hesitation.

  * * *

  Heaven help her, Jessa had to start focusing on something besides the way Lance’s hardened muscled chest shielded her back. The way his sinewed arms guarded her in a strong embrace. Something else…something else…

  The cool, crisp air. The rays of sun poking through white puffy clouds overhead. Pine trees, tall and gangly. Shit! She dodged one that seemed to jump out of nowhere, jerking the handlebars in a way that brought Lance even closer.

  “We almost there?” he asked through her helmet. And yes, she’d be the first to admit that the last twenty minutes of her driving hadn’t been the best in her life. But he was the one to blame for that. Being all sweet to her. Draping his body all over hers from behind. That had made it a bit hard to concentrate on not hitting broad tree trunks or massive boulders. “Getting close,” she yelled so he wouldn’t hear the tremble in her voice.

  She’d sworn off men, damn it. Sworn off love. All well and good in her head, but God, she wished she could cut out her heart and leave it behind. Already it had ballooned in her chest, rising higher, soaring with the same sappy emotions that had gotten her into so much trouble in the past. And who was she kidding? Lance. Lance Cortez! Bull-riding god who’d been known to shack up with the groupies who made it their life’s mission to sleep with a bull rider. Or all of the bull riders. She swore those women kept a checklist in their back pockets.

  That thought was all it took to deflate her heart. It couldn’t take more disappointment. More pain. Lance Cortez had a certain reputation. Rumor had it that he’d never spent a full night with a woman. He’d slept with plenty of them, but he never stayed in their bed until morning. Remembering that made it easier to focus. They were out here to find Luis. That was all.

  Standing up a bit, she peered over the next small rise. This was one of the trickier spots. She slowed the ATV, easing it up the side of a steep incline so Lance wouldn’t be thrust into her again. They were getting close to the boulder field, the place she and Luis always parked when they hiked together.

  Easing herself forward, she made a futile attempt to put space between her back and Lance’s chest, leaning over the handlebars as she navigated the rocky slope. Just as they crested the rise, a smear of blue caught her eye. Luis’s ATV. She plowed straight for it, then cranked the brake, skidding to stop right next to it. Hands shaky and tingling, she ripped off her helmet and let it fall to the ground. “He’s not here.” She glanced around. They were high enough that the trees had thinned; only an occasional gnarled pine tree twisted from the snow and wind during the harsh winters. But there was no sign of Luis. No backpack. No evidence of a camp.

  “He must’ve gone off on foot,” Lance said from behind her.

  An ominous feeling swept over her, thinning her breath. She stared at the boulder field, the scattered granite that stretched all the way to the mountain’s pointed summit. “I thought we’d find him here.” She’d been so sure. They’d gone off on foot many times, but always in different directions. And there weren’t many places to camp past this point. The terrain got rocky, steeper. Less than a mile up from this place was the spot where her own father had collapsed. Where his heart had given out. Panic fluttered her nerves.

  “He couldn’t have gone very far,” Lance said, coming up beside her, seeming to assess the land. “Looks pretty unforgiving.” For the first time gravity weighted his tone.

  “It is,” she whispered. She and Luis had hiked around here. Once, she’d even gotten him to take her to the spot where her father had died. Tears bit at the rims of her eyes.

  From here, it took about another twenty minutes to hike up to the place Luis had taken her father that day. Was that where’d he’d gone? Did he visit the place often? Was it still as hard for him as it was for her? Before she could stop them, the tears spilled over in warm streaks, sadness flowing out of her once again.

  “Hey.” Lance rested a hand on her shoulder. “You okay?”

  “Yes.” But the tears kept streaming out and she was powerless to stop them. “Sorry,” she muttered, annoyed with herself. She hadn’t counted on this being so hard. “I’m worried.” And God, she missed her father. Missed being someone’s little girl.

  Taking her shoulders in those large manly hands, Lance helped her climb off the ATV and turned her to face him, crouching so their eyes were level. “Dad’s fine. Trust me. I know.”

  “How?” she whimpered.

  He shrugged, shook his head a little. “This’ll sound crazy, but he and I have this connection. If something was wrong, I’d know. I’d feel it.”

  The words almost prompted a sob. Why hadn’t she known? The day her father had died, she’d gone about her life, seeing her furry patients, meeting her roommate for a drink during happy hour. That’s where she’d been when she’d got
ten the call. She should’ve felt something…should’ve felt the loss even before she knew. He was her father.

  She gazed at the boulder field, everything blurred and gray despite the bright sunshine, and once again she wondered if he’d suffered. If he’d been in pain. If he’d been scared. Luis hadn’t told her much, couldn’t seem to talk about it. But he’d said her father had gone ahead and was already on the ground by the time he got there.

  “Don’t cry, Jessa.” Lance held her face in his hands and swiped away the tears with his thumbs. “Like I said, he’s okay. I know it. We’ll find him.”

  She nodded, attempting to sniffle back a year of sadness. “I believe you.” And yet she couldn’t get a grip, not up here so close to her dad’s final moments. “It’s just…my father.” She swallowed so hard her throat ached. “Sometimes it’s hard to be up here.” God those tears burned her eyes. “I wish I would’ve been with him. I wish I could’ve been holding his hand when he…” She couldn’t bring herself to say it. It was so horrible. So, so horrible to think of him out here in pain and terrified as the world dimmed and life faded from his body. Instinctively, her hand reached up to finger the necklace he’d given her. It had been his last gift. A rose gold heart with a small diamond embedded inside.

  “It’s real pretty,” Lance said, looking down at the charm. “He give it to you?”

  She nodded, tensing her throat so her voice wouldn’t wobble. “I miss him. I should’ve been around more.”

  She half expected Lance to lecture her on living in the past, on not letting the regrets take over, like so many other people had done. Instead, he pulled her against him, wrapping her up in the comfort and peace of a long, sturdy hug. And despite the potential dangers, she let her head rest against him. She breathed in the calming scent of leather and coffee.

  “I wish I knew what those minutes were like.” The minutes before he closed his eyes and gave in. Maybe that would bring her peace. Maybe it would give her the permission to let her regrets go.

  Lance moved back slightly and took her chin in his hand. She felt the roughness of his skin, the calluses, the coarseness of scabs from healing scrapes. Gently, he tilted her head up until she was staring straight at the sky. So blue, the color itself seemed alive, bottomless in its perfection. Fluffy clouds billowed and moved and floated, a fluid dance. And the sun, so bright and clear it seemed to make everything sparkle.

  “That’s what he would’ve been looking at,” he murmured, the deep vibration of his voice close to her temple. “The sky, the mountains.”

  Jessa let her eyes soak it all in until she felt so full with the beauty and wonder of the world, she had to close them. “It’s beautiful.” Didn’t matter how many times she saw it. This view, these mountains, that endless royal sky always struck her. And her dad had loved it, too. He would’ve wanted this to be the last thing he ever saw.

  “It’s peaceful up here,” Lance said, looking up, too. “Maybe a little what Heaven’s like.”

  The words held a gift, a surprise ray of hope that penetrated her doubts. “You believe in Heaven?”

  Those lips quirked in a small smile, and even though he was so dark, with that mussed hair and tanned sun-drenched skin, his eyes were lit with energy. “I like to believe there’s something more.”

  More. The word spread over her like a healing salve, alleviating the lingering throb from the wounds of loss. All these years, she’d been wrong about Lance. She’d thought him to be closed off and grouchy, a man of few words who got annoyed easily, but now she realized she’d misjudged him. He might not do small talk, but a seven-word sentence from Lance meant more than paragraphs from most people.

  Her eyes opened and color flooded in. The first thing she saw were his lips, right there, inches from hers. The tendons that threaded her joints together loosened and sparks crackled in her heart. She inhaled his musky scent, let her gaze rest in his. Such beautiful clear eyes. Deep and wise. And yes, she seemed to be moving in closer now but she couldn’t fight that pull, couldn’t stop the hard cry of need and desire that pushed her into him. Her palms came to rest on his chest as her lips grazed his. But that one light touch wasn’t enough. Wasn’t nearly enough…so she went for it—a full-on kiss, lips fused to his, sighing, searching…

  Except his chest tensed and he seemed to step back. An icy realization splashed her face, dousing the passion that had ignited. Lance didn’t want to be kissing her. He’d offered her a kind word because she was upset. That was all.

  That was all.

  Throat thick and pulsing, she slowly eased back, the warmth that had bathed her lips turning cold.

  Lance stood stock-still, his own lips parted, arms out as though he’d lost his balance, chest suspended like he wasn’t sure if he should breathe in or out.

  “Oh my God.” Invisible flames of humiliation licked at her cheeks. “I’m so sorry.” She’d freaking kissed him! Less than a day after swearing off men, she’d let that swirl of emotion and desire and hope sweep her up into its kingdom of seduction. Her skin tingled. The sunlight seemed too bright. “I didn’t mean to…I shouldn’t have…” Kissed him. On the lips. Like they’d been transported into some sappy chick flick. They were supposed to be searching for Luis! Holy baldheaded cats, what the hell was the matter with her? She couldn’t even go one day without swooning. She needed help. Romantics Anonymous. Hello, my name is Jessa and I’m addicted to love…

  Might as well face it.

  Lance simply stood there, saying nothing, an unreadable expression frozen on his face.

  Not surprising. He was clearly in a state of shock. Or disbelief? Repulsion? It was impossible to tell. That fight or flight survival instinct kicked her hard under the ribs. “We should find your dad,” she said quickly, turning so he wouldn’t see the fierce blush that had brought her about two inches from passing out. “Let’s go this way.”

  With desperation in her steps, she tromped toward the boulder field before she could screw up anything else.

  Chapter Five

  Two seconds ago, he could’ve sworn Jessa’s lips were pressed to his, warm and wet and the slightest bit naughty. If it hadn’t been for the smear of some honey-flavored lip gloss on his bottom lip, he would’ve thought he’d imagined the whole thing because she was gone. As in out of sight. And he was still standing in the same position he’d assumed when she knocked his world off its axis and kissed him.

  Shit. He’d screwed that up. Royally. Who could blame him, though? He’d never expected Jessa to press herself against him and kiss him. Never expected the rush it brought in him, either. She’d caught him off guard, knocked him off balance. And yes, he could see how stiffening and stepping back may have sent her a certain message, but it was a reflex. Either regain balance or land on his ass. His body had reacted and made the choice for him.

  He squinted in the direction that Jessa had stormed off. The boulder field was sloped and she’d already disappeared on the other side of the rise. “Jessa!” he yelled, not exactly sure how to find her. But he had to. Had to find her, somehow undo the awkwardness he must’ve made her feel. And they still had to find his dad, too. So he stepped off the way she’d gone, trying to follow her path. He skirted around a hunk of granite as tall as him. Went over a smaller boulder, then hoisted himself up and gazed around. There. She was weaving her way through the rocks about thirty yards up.

  “Hey!” he called again. “Wait up.” He climbed down, trying to formulate an explanation in his head. Except he didn’t have one. Usually when women started crying in front of him, his forehead would crank itself tight and he’d slowly back away, scanning for a fast escape. But he kind of hadn’t minded comforting Jessa. He certainly hadn’t minded the feel of her soft breasts against his chest and her silky lips locked on his…

  In fact, he didn’t mind this whole excursion as much as he’d thought he would.

  Though Jessa slowed her pace, she didn’t stop to wait for him. Her chin had lifted with determination, her eyes foc
used ahead and her arms swooshing at her sides.

  The sight drew out a smile. Sure, he felt bad that she seemed embarrassed, but God she was captivating with that fortitude. Continuing on like the whole thing hadn’t bothered her at all. He’d met women before who would’ve whined about his reaction, who would’ve gone for the guilt trip. Not Jessa. She’d simply hauled off and left him standing there like she didn’t need him anyway.

  By the time he’d closed in on her, he was out of breath. “Are you okay?” He tried to hide the wheeze in his lungs through a hearty throat clearing.

  “Spectacular,” she muttered, stomping on.

  His hand snagged her shoulder and forced her to stop. “Come on. It’s not a big deal.” At least it shouldn’t have been. Hell, he’d been kissed by his fair share of women. A couple had even caught him off guard before. None had rendered him unable to walk, however. Or to think straight. His eyes searched hers.

  They were dark, but the sunlight made the flecks of bronze in them glisten. There was a force in her gaze. She didn’t shy away or narrow her eyes angrily at him. She simply stared back, open and unfazed.

  “I was surprised,” he admitted, leaving out the whole truth. Surprised and thrown off balance by his body’s fast response to her. “And I—”

  “Can we forget it?” she interrupted. “Please? I’m just emotional. Maybe even a little hormonal this week. You know how it goes.”

  “Uh.” No. He didn’t. He really didn’t.

  “And let’s face it,” she went on. “You’re PDF, so it’s not my fault, exactly.”

  “PDF?” he repeated. He sucked at acronyms. Had to use Google to decode most of Levi’s Facebook posts. He’d never been good with words. PDF…PDF… “Poor dumb fool?”

  Those glistening baby browns rolled. “Pretty. Damn. Fine. Don’t you get out?”