Dear Diary...

by L. M. Reed

  Chapter 19

  Dear Diary,

  Life is…good.

  CeeCee

  Mark wasn’t answering his phone on the Friday night before the Homecoming Dance. Worriedly, I kept calling every fifteen minutes, desperate for a response. Almost an hour later, he finally picked up.

  “Are you alright? Where have you been, I’ve been calling for an hour.”

  “I’m fine, CeeCee, thanks for asking,” was the smug reply.

  “Nick? What are you doing with Mark’s phone? Is something wrong? Why hasn’t he been answering? Is he there?”

  “Slow down, CeeCee,” Nick chuckled. “I can only answer one question at a time. I just got home, but my guess is that Mark forgot to take his cell phone with him. It looks like he was charging the battery.”

  “Thank goodness,” I sighed in relief. “Sorry I bombarded you with questions. I was a little worried.”

  “A little…?” Nick asked in amusement.

  “Okay, a lot,” I admitted. “Could you do me a favor? I was going to make sure Mark knew to get here between 7:00 and 7:30 tomorrow. The dance starts at eight.”

  “I will make sure he gets the message,” Nick promised. “I hear the next weekend you have a cross-country meet.”

  “The district meet,” I replied. “All the others were just practice meets.”

  “How did you do at those?”

  It sounded like he was interested, and I was more than happy to stay on the phone talking to him. We weren’t even arguing.

  “I won all but one of them,” I said more than a little embarrassed—it sounded too much like blowing my own horn—but rather proud of myself at the same time. “I lost the first one because I let someone else set the pace, and didn’t have anything left at the end, so a girl passed me right at the finish line.”

  “Sounds like you have a good chance of taking first place next weekend.”

  “I hope so.”

  I would be crushed if I didn’t, but I could hardly say that.

  “Guess I better get to bed,” I said reluctantly afraid Nick would get bored if I kept him on the phone as long as I wanted to. “Five-thirty comes early.”

  “I remember,” Nick replied ruefully, adding softly, “Sleep well, CeeCee.”

  “Night,” I whispered, the thrill of hearing him say my name in that caressing way robbing me of my voice.

  I slept so deeply I didn’t hear the alarm right away. I woke up and stretched as I hit the snooze button. Lying there remembering another morning not too long ago when I had slept through my alarm, I couldn’t stop the smile that spread across my face. Nick had been furious.

  Enough of that, I told myself sternly and, hopping out of bed, prepared to run.

  The day passed infuriatingly slowly. Felicia called me a couple of times, making sure I was still going to the dance, and I wondered idly if she had gotten over her crush on Mark. We hadn’t talked about it since that Sunday at her house when we had decided to help each other deal with our unrealistic crushes, but she’d turned into a dating machine, so she must be over it.

  Wish I could say the same, I thought wistfully.

  By six o’clock, I was having a hard time not calling Mark’s cell phone to see how close he was to arriving. I didn’t want to bother him while he was driving, but I was anxious to see him, and I’d been dressed and ready to go for over an hour.

  The shopping spree at the outlet mall in Grapevine the previous weekend had yielded a beautiful peridot dress that Mom insisted I get because it matched my eyes almost exactly.

  Of course, then we had to find shoes to go with it. Mom bought white satin ones and then set about dying them to match the dress. She was truly amazing.

  Then, because I had never worn a strapless dress before, we needed a strapless bra to go with it. After that, Mom insisted on picking out some makeup for me instead of borrowing hers as I had the last time.

  Shopping wore me out…exhausting work. By the time we added in buying some school and church clothes, I felt like I had run two marathons in a row.

  I would rather have run the marathons.

  Gazing in the mirror at my unfamiliar reflection, I decided I didn’t look too shabby. At least Mark wouldn’t put me to shame. He would always be the better-looking one, but I would at least be able to hold my own.

  I wasn’t deliriously excited as I had been when Craig had asked me out, but I was…happy; something I hadn’t been able to say in a long time.

  Carefully sitting down on the edge of my bed with the fifth Agent Jack Knight novel, I tried to concentrate on the words. After about fifteen minutes, I gave up.

  Once again, I found myself in front of the mirror.

  Although I usually avoided looking at myself, what I saw there was so different from what I was used to seeing that I couldn’t help but stare.

  My green eyes glowed as if they had a light all their own, and my hair, which Mom had curled for me, although I refused to allow her to use hairspray, fell in soft curls around my shoulders.

  I didn’t have any cleavage, but that was fine with me. I would have been too embarrassed to leave the house if I had. The dress was form fitting with what Mom called a sweetheart neckline and a straight skirt that stopped just below the knees, but had a slit up the back so I could walk.

  My shoes had two inch heels, which was a risk since I wasn’t used to wearing that much heel, but I figured I could hold on to Mark when I needed to; he wouldn’t let me fall. Mark topped me by a good four inches which was good because I dreaded the thought of showing up somewhere looking like the Amazon woman with her little man-slave in tow.

  The doorbell rang at 7:05. Wondering who on earth it could be, I carefully made my way downstairs. I knew it wasn’t Mark because he had a key, unless of course he had forgotten it.

  Mom had already left for the dance since she’d volunteered to be a chaperone. I hadn’t told her much about the dance incident the previous year, but I thought it was important for her to know that the punch had been spiked.

  She’d definitely given the administration an earful, and then demanded that they schedule teachers to monitor the punch regularly during the dance. Mom knew how to get things done.

  I was about five steps from the bottom, carefully navigating the stairs in the unaccustomed heels, when a movement caught my eye. Risking a glance upward, I saw Nick, a corsage box in his hands, standing at the foot of the stairs waiting for me.

  Shocked, I completely missed a step and started to fall. My life didn’t flash before my eyes, but I did see myself in a hospital room with my two broken legs strung up high above the bed, totally missing out on the cross country meet.

  Nick was up the stairs and catching me before I even had a chance to make a noise.

  “Stinkin’ high heels,” I muttered to cover my humiliation at Nick literally and figuratively catching me in such an awkward position. “Sorry,” I said as I disentangled myself from him, “I wasn’t expecting you,” as if that explained everything. “Where’s Mark?”

  “Something came up,” Nick murmured vaguely. “I know I’m not Mark, but I was hoping I would do instead.”

  Stupid tears…they always seemed to appear at the most inconvenient times. I couldn’t risk using my voice, no telling how it would have sounded, so I simply nodded. I was just beginning to realize how nice Nick was.

  He gently took my elbow and helped me make it safely down the last few steps. After releasing me, he opened the box and pulled out a wrist corsage, white with light green accents, which strangely enough matched my dress. Mom must have told Mark what color I would be wearing.

  Since Nick’s bracelet was on my right wrist, I held out my left one for the corsage. I had decided against wearing my watch; it didn’t look right with the dress.

  After fastening the corsage, he dropped my left wrist and reached down for my right one, fingering the bracelet witho
ut saying anything. I felt the warmth of his touch seeping through me, mesmerizing me. I was in no hurry to go anywhere.

  Releasing his hold on my wrist, he held out his arm and asked, “Shall we?”

  I place my hand in the crook, and let him lead me to the front door, afraid to say anything, afraid the dream might end. I knew he was there as a substitute for Mark, but I was going to live every minute of it to the fullest realizing the chance might never come my way again. I wasn’t about to waste it.

  As corny as it sounded even to me, for one night I fully intended to be Cinderella at the ball.

  Nick led me to a car parked in the driveway.

  “Where’s your pickup?” I asked in surprise.

  “I feel like a teenager admitting this,” Nick said sheepishly, “but I borrowed my parents’ car.”

  I laughed and Nick joined in.

  “Well, you are going to a high school dance, after all.”

  “True,” Nick agreed. “I thought you might have trouble climbing up into my pickup so…”

  “Straight skirts are definitely not made for climbing” or walking either I added silently struggling to shorten my stride within the confines of the dress.

  I was glad it was only for one evening because wearing that dress, as pretty as it made me feel, was going to get old quickly.

  Nick helped me into the car, and walked around the front to get in. I couldn’t take my eyes off of him in his dark suit, white shirt, and maroon tie…more used to seeing him in the Dockers and button-down shirt he always wore to church.

  Although he was definitely what Felicia would call a gorgeous hunk of manhood no matter what he wore, I had to admit, in a suit he was the very definition of ‘wow’. I yearned to have him all to myself instead of spending the evening in a crowd of teenagers, but what I really wished was for him to want that, too.

  I directed him to the school, he hadn’t been there before, and pointed him toward the gymnasium. The parking lot was already so crowded, however, that we ended up parking by the track field and walking quite a ways.

  I didn’t mind since Nick, ever the gentleman, came around and helped me out of the car and offered me his arm again.

  I could get used to this, I sighed wistfully, then admitted, wishful thinking.

  It was almost eight o’clock by the time we entered the gym, and it looked like the dance was already in full swing. We’d won the Homecoming football game the day before, so every one was in major excitement mode and apparently couldn’t wait to get the party started. The gymnasium looked suspiciously familiar, and I decided that they must have recycled the decorations.

  I didn’t care…with Nick there the earth could have opened up and swallowed us whole and it wouldn’t have mattered.

  We spotted Mom by the punch, and made our way over so Nick could say hi. Mom gave Nick a hug and then took my hands to pull me over into what little true lighting there was in the whole gym.

  “Let me look at you,” Mom insisted. “You are absolutely gorgeous; wouldn’t you say so, Nick?”

  “Yes I would,” Nick agreed.

  I was beet red. I gave Mom a hug, more to distract her than anything else, and asked how the punch patrol was going.

  “Everyone knows better than to mess with me,” Mom declared and I believed it. “Oh, Nick, your corsage goes perfectly with the dress. How fortunate you could get one on such short notice.”

  Nick bought me the corsage, and Mom knew about it.

  “My mother loves flowers and is on a first name basis with practically every florist in the whole Austin area,” Nick grinned.

  “Well, you two run along and have fun,” Mom directed, looking past us and narrowing her beautiful blue eyes. “I think I see a suspect.”

  With that, she took off toward the punch bowl ready to do battle. Nick and I looked at each other and burst out laughing. Mom could be scary.

  “CeeCee!” Felicia squealed from behind me.

  I turned too quickly to greet her, and Nick put a hand on my arm to steady me.

  I muttered “Stupid heels” under my breath before greeting Felicia.

  Although I probably should have stuck with my customary one-inch heel, it was a bit too late to change my mind.

  I didn’t recognize the guy with Felicia. He was extremely good-looking with his black hair and black mysterious eyes, but quite a bit shorter than Nick and much slimmer. I didn’t think he went to our high school. Even someone as oblivious as I was would remember a gorgeous guy like him. Where did she find them all?

  “Hey, CeeCee,” her date grinned at me or maybe he was just trying not to laugh at my klutziness.

  “Er…hi,” I replied uncertainly.

  “I’m Nick Barrett,” Nick broke in smoothly holding his hand out.

  “Sam Franklin,” Felicia’s date replied, shaking Nick’s hand enthusiastically.

  Okay, so his name was Sam. I was fairly certain he wouldn’t make it past the weekend, so I didn’t think it was that important to remember his name, but just in case I repeated it to myself a few times.

  “I though Mark was bringing you,” Felicia whispered under the cover of Nick and Sam’s polite conversation. “What’s up?”

  “Mark couldn’t make it,” I murmured blushing, thankful for the darkness of the gym.

  “Well at least you came.”

  Felicia seemed a bit put out about the absent Mark, but I couldn’t imagine her wishing for Mark when she had Sam there.

  “I told you I would,” I reminded her. I took a good look at her for the first time and wow! “You have got to be the most beautiful female in the whole place.”

  “But you are striking,” Felicia complimented me.

  “Oh, not yet, that part comes later in the evening,” I said keeping a straight face.

  I heard Nick chuckle appreciatively.

  Felicia looked blank. After a few seconds, she started to giggle.

  “You are so bad,” she accused. “Watch out for her, Nick, she’s dangerous.”

  “So I’ve heard,” he replied. “Forewarned is forearmed.”

  “Come on, Sam,” Felicia turned to the guy with her, “this is a dance so…”

  Nick and I watched as Sam expertly twirled Felicia to the middle of the dance floor. I could see why she had picked him over all the others…he was an awesome dancer. She’d been keeping secrets again.

  “Would you like to dance?” Nick asked, holding his hand out.

  Reluctantly, I put my hand in his and nodded. When we reached the dance floor, Nick slid his hands around my waist.

  Noticing my hesitation, he bent down and whispered in my ear, “You’ve put your arms around my neck before, CeeCee. Don’t go all bashful on me now.”

  I laid my hands on the tops of his shoulders, it was the best I could do, and held myself stiffly away from him…too self-conscious for anything else.

  I whispered back, “I’m not very good at this dancing thing.”

  “Neither am I. We’ll just stand and sway to the music. I don’t think anyone will notice.”

  He smiled at me, and I smiled back, beginning to feel more comfortable.

  By the second song, I could feel my body relaxing, the music flowing through me almost hypnotically, by the third song my body seemed to have developed a mind of its own as it pressed up against Nick, and by the fourth song, I had my arms all the way around his neck with my head resting on his shoulder.

  If that night was going to have to last me the rest of my life, I needed to make it good. I knew I shouldn’t be taking advantage of his generosity in taking Mark’s place, but I couldn’t seem to stop myself. I was very careful not to do anything totally inappropriate, like nuzzling the side of his neck or nibbling on his ear, settling for semi-inappropriate instead.

  Quite a few guys tried to cut in, but Nick, realizing that I didn’t want to dance with any of them, apologetically told them no. I noticed Nick gett
ing quite a few wistful glances from the female population, and I wondered if he was sorry that he was stuck with me. There was one young and rather pretty teacher in particular who seemed to be trying to get his attention. He was polite and friendly, but showed no overt interest in her.

  After about an hour, I felt claustrophobic. As much as I loved being in Nick’s arms, the gym was too crowded, and a bit on the warm side.

  “Do you mind if we go outside for a while?”

  The music had changed from the canned romantic love songs that had been playing to the live band that had been late getting there—well actually they were right on time, but the dance was already in full swing having begun earlier than planned—and I had to practically yell in his ear for him to hear me.

  “Please,” Nick pleaded.

  Taking his hand, I led him out through a side door that someone had propped open in the hopes that it would allow more air circulation; I could have told them it wasn’t working.

  My steps, automatically conditioned to move towards the track, ended up at the metal bleachers surrounding it.

  We found a breezy place to sit, and both sighed in relief.

  “This is much better.”

  “Thank you,” I said gratefully, “For the dance, the corsage, being a perfect gentleman…everything.”

  “It’s my pleasure.”

  “I appreciate you saying that,” I smiled at him, “whether it’s true or not.”

  “I don’t lie, CeeCee,” Nick said gravely, “I have enjoyed being here with you tonight.”

  “I’m sorry I’ve been…rotten to you since we met,” I had to get it off my chest, especially since I didn’t know when I would see him again. “I know it’s no excuse, but I’m not very good at dealing with…things.”

  Darn tears. They were pooling in my eyes again. I fought them back. Nick probably already thought me no better than a leaky faucet.

  Reaching over to take my hand Nick said, “You’ve had a rough time the past few years, and you take things harder than most people because you care so much. Mark says you get your intensity from your father.”

  “And my temper from my mother,” I said in resignation. “Apparently I am quite the combo.”

  “This last month’s been good for you.”

  I glanced at him in surprise, wondering how he knew that.

  He laughed and said, “I keep up with you through Mark, and I can tell you’re very different than you were the last time I saw you.”

  “I made a list of things I could do that would make me a better person,” I admitted sheepishly.

  “Ah, yes, Mark told me about your propensity for making lists,” Nick laughed. “It must work for you. You’ve grown up a lot in two months.”

  “I’ve been trying to,” I sighed, “But it’s pretty painful at times.”

  “Growing up always is,” Nick agreed.

  “Do you think…?” I broke off, wanting to ask, but afraid of the response I might get.

  “Do I think…what?”

  “I just wondered if…well…since I’m…”

  Nick watched me intently, patiently waiting for me to finish.

  “Could we be friends?” I finally blurted out.

  Nick looked thoughtful for a moment and then turned to face me.

  Looking straight into my eyes he replied, “I would very much like to be your friend, CeeCee.”

  I couldn’t tear my eyes away from his. I knew he meant it. I smiled tremulously…it was a start.

  Gathering my wits about me I asked, “When do you have to go back?”

  “Tonight,” he replied lightly.

  “Tonight?”

  “Mark’s not here, it’s just you and your mother,” Nick explained. “I don’t think it would be appropriate for me to stay the night.”

  “You’re right,” I admitted adding grudgingly “As usual.”

  Nick laughed, and I said defensively, “You try hanging around someone who’s always right; it’s exasperating.”

  “Sorry,” Nick said unrepentantly, “one of these days I’m sure you’ll be right and I’ll be wrong,” he added soothingly “and then you can stick you’re tongue out and say ‘so there’.”

  I elbowed him in the ribs and accused rudely, “Patronizer.”

  “Ow,” he rubbed his rub tenderly, faking pain. ”This is where you become striking, right?”

  “Right,” I growled then continued more seriously. “If you’re driving home tonight, you should leave soon. I wouldn’t want you to fall asleep at the wheel.”

  “Are you sure you’re ready to go home?”

  “I’ve had enough school dance to last a lifetime,” I assured him. “I made an appearance, so I’m good.”

  I wasn’t about to admit that I wasn’t ready to go home because it meant he would be leaving and I desperately wished he could stay. Truly, I wanted him to be safe more than anything. The idea of being friends with him tantalized me, and I didn’t want to lose that chance before we’d even begun.

  Once we got to the house, he produced a key, let us in, and went to check the house to make sure it was safe.

  He had Mark’s key; that explained why he was already in the house by the time I got downstairs. I felt sure he’d rung the doorbell in order to get me to come downstairs without his having to come up, knowing we were alone in the house.

  My respect for him grew.

  Nick came back from his inspection, satisfied that the house was fine. I was unsure what to do next, but Nick had no such problem. He came straight over to me, pulled me into his arms, and held me there for a few minutes. As he released me, his lips brushed my cheek.

  Neither of us said anything as I followed him to the front door in order to lock it behind him. From the living room window, I watched him get into his parents’ car and drive away.