Blue Love : Blue Valley High — Senior Year

by Mj Fields

  “Fuck that,” I mumble as I scoop her up and set her next to me.

  Looking at me, a million questions dance in differing shades of blue, yet she doesn’t ask one.

  “Are we okay?” I ask.

  Her bottom lip pops out. “You’re a freakin’ hero, and I’m a whore.”

  I laugh. “I think we know better than that. Where’s your phone?”

  “In the kitchen, on the counter. Why?” she asks but avoids looking at me.

  “Audri is going to call you just in case you don’t believe the Leah thing. She knows about it. And I want to tell you that Audri likes you a lot.”

  This should make her happy, yet she still looks incredibly upset, and then our boy, Chewy, takes this time to bring in a bathing suit and drop it on my lap. When Tessa snatches it up, I know it’s hers.

  I scratch behind his ear. “That’s my boy.”

  Everyone laughs. Tessa? She pulls her feet up on the couch and buries her face in her knees.

  “You believe me, don’t you?”

  “Yes,” she says into her knees. “I just feel like an ass, and I am loa-ded.”

  “I would have thought the same thing, Tessa. I just wish you’d asked me.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me about your mom?” she asks, now resting the side of her head on her knees, looking at me.

  “I didn’t want you to pity me. I wanted you to love me for me, not because you feel like I’m some sort of cause.”

  She sits up. “We all have things that we could do without in our lives, right, guys?”

  Jade raises her hand. “I do. My mom is a junky, too.”

  “I was almost raped by two different foster kids,” Becca blurts out.

  None of us say a word. Speechless.

  “My dad shot my mom, and then himself, in front of me.” Phoebe laughs, and now Becca’s secret isn’t the most shocking. “Ding, ding! I win, right?” She looks down and whispers, “Please don’t tell anyone. It’s rather embarrassing.”

  Alex pulls her closer and tucks her under his arm.

  “My family is a mess right now, and I’m no better,” Tessa breaks the silence.

  Everyone looks at Tommy, and I about die when he announces, “I have a huge penis.”

  Everyone busts up laughing.

  Jade looks at him then around the room. Her glance then shifts to the crotch of his pants, and then swings up to him, blushing. A sly smile starts creeping across Tommy’s face, and then he winks at her. She shakes her head back and forth and rolls her eyes like she doesn’t believe him.

  “He’s not joking, Jade. He’s unbelievably well-endowed.” I chuckle.

  “How do you guys know? You hang out naked together? Gross.” As soon as Tessa says that, she palms her face like she just remembered that she herself, just moments ago, was in a similar situation.

  “This coming from the streaker.” I throw my arm around her. “I bet it was your idea.”

  “It was,” the girls all say at once.

  “I love your curiosity,” I whisper in her ear.

  “I love you,” Tessa says even lower than a whisper, as if it were just a thought.

  I cup her chin, lean in, and kiss her.

  “No hands, man,” Alex reminds me.

  I raise them up, lips still on hers, and she pulls back, eyes blinking and looking confused.

  Chewy whines, and Tessa quickly stands to take him out. Then she holds her hand out for me. “Come with me.”

  “Be good. I promised Dad,” Alex reminds us.

  “Maybe they don’t want to be,” Phoebe says, looking at Alex. “Maybe I don’t want to be.”

  She kisses him, and he takes her face between his hands, breaks the kiss, and whispers, “We’re not running a race, Phoebe.” He kisses her forehead. “There’s no rush.” He then kisses her nose. “None at all.”

  Chapter Twenty Seven

  Thankful for Phoebe’s distraction, I pull Lucas outside and watch as Chewy runs to his favorite spot to pee. Then I look back at Lucas.

  “Tell me it’s true that Sadi and Leah were—”

  “Every word I said in there was true.”

  “Tell me that you—”

  “Tell you that I love you?”

  I nod, wanting desperately for it to be true.

  He grabs my face and looks me dead in the eyes. “I never stopped telling you I love you. Not for one day, Tessa, not one.”

  Flinging my arms around his shoulders, I kiss him. Then he moves his hands to my ass, and I jump up, wrapping my legs around him, and I kiss him deeper. It feels like the first time in forever that my heart isn’t breaking as I do.

  He presses his lips hard against mine, tongue kissing me back. Then he sits, with me straddling his lap. Body humming, I whimper at the feeling of my most heated parts connecting against him like this.

  He rips his lips from me, turns his hat backward, presses his forehead to mine and, in a deep, rough voice, says, “We need to communicate.”

  I grab his face, and with my lips back against his, I tell him everything I’m feeling right this second. “I missed your lips, your arms, your eyes. I want you, Lucas. How’s that for communication?” Then I kiss him hard, unable to control myself anymore. I push my tongue into his hot, sweet mouth and, within seconds, I feel him hardening beneath me.

  I reach behind me and pull my pajama top over my head.

  Looking down at me, he groans. “You are fucking gorgeous, baby.”

  Leaning in, I nip his lip then kiss every inch of his face, moving to his neck and chest. He hisses, and I look up at him. He looks as if he’s angry, so I kiss his lips again.

  Lifting me up and off him, he tells me, “Tessa, baby, no drunk sex with you, and definitely not here.”

  “You have something against picnic tables?” I huff.

  “That’s twice I have seen that move tonight. I kind of like it.”

  “What move?”

  “The foot stomp.”

  I didn’t even realize I did that once, let alone twice.

  I roll my eyes, and he grabs my face, running his thumb across my lower lip, and closing his. When he opens them, he smiles, and it’s a sweet kind of smile. And, although I’m not thinking sweet things, I’ll take it.

  He takes my hands and asks, “Tessa Ross, will you be my girlfriend?”

  “Lucas Links, promise to never shatter me again? Like, no more drinking, or smoking, or—”

  “Or taking even half a sleeping pill and hit the peace pipe so I can try to forget that I walked in the house and found my mom passed out and almost drowning in her own vomit?”

  I hug him. “I’m so sorry. I wish you had told me and—”

  “Kind of hard to talk to you when you’re—”

  “I hate her. I hate Sadi so fucking much.” I step back and ask, “How’s your mom now?”

  “She had a fucking needle in her arm this time—”

  “I love you, Lucas. I’m so sorry. Just please talk to me, okay? Third time will not be a charm.” Tears don’t just pool in my eyes; they flowed freely.

  “It won’t happen again,” he promises.

  “Then yes, I’m yours as long as you want me.”

  “Forever, baby?”

  It’s definitely not the right time to think of Toby, but I do just the same.

  “What’s wrong, Tessa?” he asks, rubbing his fingers slowly up and down my side.

  “Toby,” I whisper.

  “He’s a good guy.” Lucas nods and takes my hands.

  When he laughs, I realize I must look shocked.

  “I’m not stupid.” He reaches down and grabs my shirt, pulling it over my head.

  “I just feel awful. He has never done anything but show me kindness. And then there’s you.”

  “Me?” he sighs exaggeratedly.

  “Well, Lucas, you really didn’t do anything either, except not tell me what’s going on.”

  “Couldn’t do that when you weren’t talking to me, and I wasn’t ready t
o talk.”

  “I’m such a bitch. You sure you want me to be—”

  “Yeah, I want you.” He laughs.

  “What’s so funny?”

  “You’re drunk, Tessa, and you’re kind of funny.”

  “You’re stoned, so probably everything is funny.”

  Both of us are laughing as he pulls me in for a hug.

  Face in the crook of his neck, I inhale his scent and sigh, “What is my dad thinking, letting you stay here?”

  “I don’t know, but I am grateful. Just think, you get to do my laundry and cook for me.”

  “You wish.” I push him away.

  “No, really, it’ll be like being married but without the sex.” Lucas smiles sarcastically.

  “By the sound of my dad tonight, it’s exactly like being married.”

  We both crack up, and I climb on his lap and hug him tight. “I love you, Lucas Links.”

  He lifts my chin. “No more Toby. I won’t share you.”

  “He’s my friend, though, Lucas. I can’t just—”

  “I don’t get the whole friends with the opposite sex thing—it pisses me off—but I want to understand. Let me ask you a few questions. Does he get to do this?” He lightly runs his fingertip across my pebbled nipples.

  I shake my head.

  “These are mine, right, baby?” He bows his head and nips at one then the other over my shirt.

  My back arches, and I push into him. “Yes.”

  “Let me clarify, baby; whose are these?” He rolls one then the other between his teeth.

  “Yours, Lucas. They’re yours.”

  “Perfect. I really love them.” He runs his hand up my back then wraps it around my hair and kisses me hard and urgently as he skates his other hand up my leg and under my pajama shorts and begins rubbing my inner thigh.

  Heat burns so hot inside me that it begins to liquify between my legs.

  When his fingertips rub the damp silk there, he asks. “Baby, whose is this?”

  I rock against his touch. “Mine … ours … yours, Lucas. I’m yours.”

  “Your panties are damp, baby.” He pulls his hand out from between my legs and sucks on his finger then pushes them right under them again. “Not wet enough. You’re drunk, and I’m high … I promised no drunk sex with you, but I could still make you come, fucking you with my finger. Would you like that?” He rubs between my legs, over my panties harder, causing me to moan and whimper. “Whose is this, baby? Whose hot little pussy is this?”

  “Yours, Lucas. Only yours.” I reach between his legs and rub my hand up and down his hard, bulging erection. “And this is mine.”

  “Someday soon, it’s going to be all yours.” He dips his finger underneath my panties, and the burn, the heat, the electricity pulses between my legs. “This is mine, too. I am claiming it right now.” He rubs across my clit, and I cry out against his neck. “Shh … baby, keep quiet. I want to play right here for a while.”

  He continues to rub circles around and across my clit as I rock into his touch and feel something … something … something … “Oh Go—”

  Lucas covers my mouth, and I swear on everything I want to bite him, until I hear my brother’s voice. “Tessa, you out here?”

  I inhale then exhale a frustrated breath before replying, “Be there in a minute.”

  “I love you, baby,” Lucas whispers as he kisses me softly then lifts me off his lap and sets me on my feet. “Walk in front of me, please.”

  “Okay,” I whisper as I nuzzle into his neck again.

  “Fuck, I can’t wait to be buried inside of you.”

  I push up on my toes and kiss him sweetly. “We have to go in.”

  “I know. Stay in front of me to hide the surprise you caused in my pants.”

  Smiling, I do just that as I look around for Chewy. “Come on, boy.”

  Inside, we sit quietly and pretend to watch Dr. Quinn, but neither of us are paying attention at all.

  Chapter Twenty Eight

  I hear him before he walks into the kitchen, mumbling, “What the hell was I thinking?”

  I take in a deep breath and try not to act like I’m ashamed of myself for last night, but I am. “Good morning, Daddy.”

  He’s not even looking at me when he says, “Tessa, you have church today. Actually, all of you do. Wake them up. Everyone needs to get ready.”

  I move to stand in front of him so he sees me. “Daddy, I am sorry.”

  “Oh no, Tessa Ross, that look’s not going to work.”

  I step to him and hug him.

  “Okay, that may help.”

  Smiling, I step back and grab the spoon. “I’m making breakfast.”

  “Fine,” he huffs. “Just don’t do it again!”

  Everyone sleeping in the living room, where we all crashed last night, starts to laugh, and he grumbles.

  When they all walk in, each of them says, “Good morning.”

  “You all think you got one over on the old man last night. Let me tell you that none of you did.” He points to Lucas. “You pull that shit again, driving while under whatever influence you were under, and my daughter will not ride with you again while I’m alive.”

  “Yes, sir.” Lucas nods.

  “You girls drank here. I’d rather that then in a field somewhere and driving home, but that doesn’t mean you have my permission.” He steps toward the door. “And for the love of God, all of you keep your damn clothes on! You eat, and we all go to church. God knows we could all use a little Jesus.”

  When he walks out, we all laugh.

  After church, Lucas and I head to his house to grab some of his things. And, although I’ve been with him more than twelve hours, the butterflies begin to flutter their wings inside my belly. As much as I like this kind of flutter, I’m not sure I like the nerves that come with being with him alone. And I know this is because of the feelings and the desire that sparks inside of me when we are.

  I put the truck in park then turn off the engine.

  “Come help me?” he asks.

  “Sure,” I say as I open the door.

  Before I take a step, he has my hand and is all but dragging me behind him. It isn’t until we’re in his room that he lets go.

  He walks into his closet and asks, “Why were you looking at me so weirdly at church?”

  “Did it make you uncomfortable?”

  “Kind of. What’s going on?”

  “I don’t know. Things are just … different.”

  Lucas peeks out of his closet and looks at me, confused.

  “Two days ago, I was a wreck, and so were you, and I didn’t even see it. Now you’re living with us and—”

  “You okay with that?”

  “I don’t know. It should be weird, don’t you think?”

  He turns and walks into his closet. “A little bit, especially because I think everything you do is hot, even the foot stomping thing last night—”

  “Twice,” we say at the same time.

  He looks out of the closet, and I am once again mesmerized by how seriously stunning he is, and those eyes that, when not covered by a hat, or guarded by what I now know is a pain in which no one but maybe Tommy seems to know about, are without their shield and full of a happiness, ease, and confidence that makes him even hotter.

  He seems to notice that I see him, truly see him, and it makes him nervous. I know this because he runs his hand through his hair, as if looking for that hat, to shield his eyes.

  Not wanting him to hide behind the shield, and also not wanting to overwhelm him, I turn and give him some privacy.

  “You going to miss this big bed? This house? I mean, my house isn’t like this.”

  “Are you going to miss this big bed?” Lucas asks, wrapping his arm around me and flattening his hand over my lower belly. Then he turns me to face him.

  When we kiss, it’s different. Not in a bad way, but softer, gentler, and maybe a bit more playful.

  I smile against his lips, and he pulls b
ack. “Are you laughing?”

  “I wasn’t, but now—”

  “You’re being—”

  “Sorry, it just feels different. You kiss me differently now.”

  “How so?”

  “It’s sweeter.”

  His scowl deepens, and he pulls me closer. “Was last night sweet?”

  I feel my face burn and shake off the thought of last night. “Not like that. It’s … You’re … like, less guarded, or you’re not in a hurry. Maybe that’s what you want now?”

  He picks me up and tosses me onto the bed. Crawling up beside me, he narrows his eyes, his nostrils flare, and the muscles in his jaw pop.

  Goofy smile creeping up on my face, I scoot back. “It’s not like you’re in a rush, or like you want to tear off my clothes and bend me over the bed right now. It’s like you can enjoy it, and … well … I don’t know.” Flustered, I flop back then roll over, hiding my now burning face in his comforter.

  “Tessa, I absolutely want to tear your clothes off and bend you over the bed. And make no mistake, the shit I’m gonna do to your hot as hell bod isn’t sweet, and it’ll only be gentle the first time, because you’re gonna need that. Maybe it’s you. Maybe you’re less guarded, maybe you trust me a little more. You’re more relaxed. Maybe you finally believe me when I say I love you.” He kisses the back of my neck.

  I turn to look at him, and his cell phone rings.

  He digs in his pocket, pulls it out, flips it open, and then pushes off the bed as he answers. “What’s up?” He listens for a moment then says, “Yeah, almost done. See you in a few.”

  He hangs up, grabs my ankle and, in one swift move, he somehow flips me to my back and pulls me toward the edge of the bed. All of the insanely sexy physical feelings caused by that move dance with what he just moments ago said, and my heart beats against my chest, anticipation making my head spin.

  “Your mom will be at your place in an hour. Alex says we need to be there.”

  Just two words—your mom—drenches every feeling of desire inside of me.

  “Great.”

  A smirk plays on his beautiful lips as he turns and walks toward his closet.

  I push up on my elbows and watch him. Okay, I watch his ass. He seriously has the best ass.