Blue Love : Blue Valley High — Senior Year

by Mj Fields

Tessa jerks up and looks around in confusion. She looks at Ben then at me as I am now kneeling before her. Her eyes get wide when realization hits.

  She pushes us both aside. “Excuse me.” Then she runs downstairs.

  She’s in the bathroom, crying, when I open the door and walk in. “You awake now?”

  “Yes, I’m awake,” she snaps, looking all sorts of angry and confused.

  “Are you mad at me?”

  “Yes!”

  “He heard you and walked in as I was trying to wake you. I told him to pick you up, and he did. You kissed him,” I explain.

  “I what? And you let me?” she snaps.

  “Tessa, it may have been worse if you were kissing me in front of him.” I run my hand through my hair. “Or not. I don’t know. What the fuck did you want me to do?”

  “I don’t know … Get Alex?” She starts crying.

  “That would be a bit odd—watching you shove your tongue in your brother’s mouth? Yeah, no.”

  She looks up, and we both start laughing and Chewy pushes himself up off the ground across the room, walks over and lays beside us like all is well in the world, but it’s not.

  I wipe away her tears and tell her, “Sorry, baby, I didn’t know what to do.”

  “This needs to stop. I need to know why I am doing this.”

  “On a positive note, you didn’t ask him to do the things you asked me to do.” I chuckle.

  She slugs me.

  “You good?”

  “I have to pee.”

  I nod and walk out the door.

  When she walks upstairs, I hear Alex ask, “You okay, Tessa?”

  “I guess I have kind of been freaking out at night. Ben, I’m sorry I shoved my tongue down your throat. However, as Lucas kindly pointed out, at least it wasn’t Alex who I tried to assault.”

  “Tess, you don’t have to be sorry. I really enjoyed it,” Dipshit jokes, and I hear a smack.

  “I’ll grab my stuff and sleep in here tonight,” Alex huffs. He then walks in, grabs his pillow and a water bottle off his nightstand, and then back across the hall.

  “So, what are you gonna do if she tries to put the Sleeping Beauty moves on you?” Dipshit asks.

  “Dump this bottle of water over her head.”

  Chapter Thirty Eight

  I wake up early, shower, take Chewy out and make breakfast while listening to my headphones.

  Because of my very own dance party, I miss Ben and Alex walking in.

  Alex does me a solid by hip-checking me.

  I stop dancing immediately and pull off my headphones.

  “Good morning, Tess,” Ben says. “You look rested.”

  “I am.”

  “Remember anything from last night?” he asks.

  Embarrassed, but whatever, I nod. “I do.” Then I plate up breakfast for them, and they eat.

  Lucas walks into the kitchen, opens the fridge, and grabs the milk. “Good morning.”

  “You going to school today or hunting?” Ben asks.

  Lucas answers, “I need to go to school.”

  “You going to take Tess to school?”

  “I can.” Lucas nods.

  “Good, because I wouldn’t want to run into that Sadi thing again. She told me she was pregnant right before she went all rabid dog on Tess. You do know there is anal for that kind of girl, right?”

  I slap my hand over my gapping mouth, and Lucas looks at me.

  “Not my thing.”

  “Maybe it should be.” Ben stands up and cleans his plate.

  “So, Ben”—I try not to laugh—“you’re into anal, huh?”

  “Hell no. I am not here for this shit.” Alex stands then walks straight out the door.

  “I’m into all sorts of things.” Ben winks. “I like anal about as much as I like shooting Bambi. See you later, Tess.” He pops a kiss to my cheek. “Maybe we can talk about it more when you are done with practice.”

  We ride to school together in silence. Tension is thick as hell between us, and I want to slice it right open.

  “So, you don’t like ana—”

  “Tessa. Please don’t,” he cut me off.

  I grin and look out the window. Then I pop in a tape.

  “Wanna hear one of my new favorite songs?”

  “Sure, Tessa,” he says in that monotone voice he’s been using around me lately.

  “It’s by Divinyls.” I bite back a laugh as I push play.

  “It’s not a new song, Tessa,” he says through clenched teeth.

  “It’s all new to me, Lucas.” I laugh, crank it up, and begin singing. “‘I don’t want anybody else, when I think about you, I touch myself.’”

  As we pull into the school parking lot, Lucas turns the volume down. And, when he parks, I jump out, laughing.

  “You coming?”

  “Not yet,” he sneers, eyes all dark and hooded.

  I lean back in and look down at the crotch of his pants. “You need some help?”

  Lucas throws his head back against the headrest and snaps, “Go away. Now.”

  Sadi walks by and hears him. She smirks and hurries to get behind me.

  “How’s your face, farm girl?”

  Lucas immediately jumps out and quickly walks between us.

  I throw up my middle finger. “Mine will heal. Yours, however, will look like that forever.”

  I look at Lucas. “I think Ben was on to something, but maybe after you shove it in her ass, you could gag her with it, so she learns to shut the fuck up.”

  Sadi lunges toward me, and he grabs her arm. I walk away.

  “I told you to leave her the fuck alone, and I wasn’t joking. She and I will be friends. You and I will be nothing, Sadi. Do you get it? Baby or not, you and I will be nothing.”

  When he catches up to me, he asks, “You okay?”

  I look down to see if things have calmed down … in his pants. “You look better. Well, not better. Just more … relaxed. That was fast, Lucas. Dead puppies?”

  “No, her fucking voice,” Lucas huffs.

  We both burst out laughing as he opens the door and looks back at where I stand just looking at him. My Lucas.

  “What?”

  “For a few minutes, you looked happy again.” My eyes begin to heat up. “I miss that.”

  He nods to the open door as the first bell ring.

  As I walk in, I swear I hear him whisper, “Me, too.”

  Ben is in the parking lot, changing his shirt, when I walk out of school.

  “Picking me up shirtless, Ben? Isn’t it a bit cold out for that?” I ask as he walks toward me.

  He bends down and kisses my cheek. “Didn’t think you’d like Bambi blood all over me.” Ben laughs as he slides his sweatshirt the rest of the way over his head. “Your friend, Sadi, is watching,” he whispers. He then picks me up, tosses me over his shoulder, and walks toward the truck. “Wave at her, Tess.”

  Laughing, I do just that.

  “That show would have been more effective if you had left that damn sweatshirt off.”

  “Tess, have you checked out my ass? Effect enough.” Ben opens the door and drops me in. “Shit, Tess, you haven’t even looked at my ass? When you get there, feel it. I’ve been told it’s kind of nice.”

  “By lots of people?”

  “A couple, but mainly my mom,” Ben jokes.

  “You are a lot of fun to be around, Ben. Is there a serious side to you?”

  “Are you ready for there to be?” Ben asks, and then he heads around and hops in the driver’s seat. “Yes, I can be serious, but I love to have fun, and I really like to make you laugh, Ross.

  “Relationship talk; I already told you about the three long relationships I have been in. They were all based on friendship first and trust. I have slept with three girls. Well, not really slept, actually.” He winks. “I’ve only actually slept with you. I’m very busy and active. My attention is easily distracted, so I’m very busy in bed, as well.”

  My brows jump
up.

  “Just being honest.”

  “So, if you’re easily distracted, how does that work then?”

  “There are hundreds of ways to please someone.” Ben cocks his head to the side. “Busy is a good thing, I like to try and learn new things,” He pauses and watches my eyes. “However, as much as I love to be distracted, I prefer the person I’m with to be completely focused on me. I have issues when it comes to that. When I love or make love, it’s me and her in bed, and in each other’s heads. There is no other way for me.”

  When we pull into the driveway, he turns off the engine, jumps out, runs around, and opens my door. For some reason, I can’t look him in the eyes.

  “Can’t look at me, huh?” He chuckles. He has a good laugh. “Good. That’s step one. See you tonight, Tess. Oh, and when I walk away, you could give it a look.” He kisses my forehead and leaves his lips there for a bit longer than a quick peck, and I close my eyes. Then he walks away. When I open my eyes, he laughs, “Tess, another missed opportunity.”

  After doing my homework, I close my book and look out the window. The sky is getting darker, the leaves all changed, and the trees are nearly bare. This happened seemingly overnight, and somehow, I missed that change in the midst of my life doing the same.

  I throw the Shake ’n Bake chicken I prepped earlier in the oven with the baking potatoes. Then I grab my running shoes and head for the door. When I step outside, I watch as Lucas pulls in.

  He quickly hops out of his vehicle and asks, “Going for a run?”

  “Yep, dinner’s in the oven,” I tell him as I stretch.

  “I talked to Sadi today.” He kicks at the ground.

  “How did that go?” I ask as I jump in place a bit.

  Lucas smiles sadly. “You’re distracting my thoughts.”

  “Sorry. Walk with me. Let’s talk.”

  “But you wanted to run.”

  “I would rather talk to a friend, and Jade has been very busy lately.”

  “So I’ve heard, over and over again.” Lucas smiles.

  “Your smile … God, Lucas, I love your smile.”

  He frowns. “Sorry.”

  “Don’t be sorry. It makes me happy.”

  We walk for a bit in silence, and I look at the reds and burnt orange colors of the trees. They look like they’ve caught fire. I would love to be holding his hand and walking toward the fire instead of feeling like the fire he started inside me is about to be drowned.

  I decide to rip off the Band-Aid, open the dam, and ask, “So, let’s hear it; what happened with Sadi?”

  He looks at me and sighs. “You sure?”

  I nod.

  “Well, I think it bothered her a lot when I yelled at her this morning, because she actually apologized. I told her that I thought we should go to counseling. You know, to learn how to deal with each other for the baby.” He stops and looks at me. “Should I stop?”

  My throat feels like it’s tightening. “No, go on.”

  “She agreed, so I’m going to find someone and go once a week until we can get to the point where we can be civil to each other.” He stops again, searching my eyes.

  I swallow back the constricted lump. “I think that’s a good idea, Lucas.”

  “She also agreed to allow me to go to the doctor appointment in three weeks if things go well with the counselor.”

  I force a smile.

  “Do you want to sit and talk?”

  “Nope, we can walk.”

  God, I hope we can, because all I want to do is run, scream out my frustrations, and cry for a month, maybe longer. He is going to be with her once a week, talking to her about feelings. He is going to her doctor appointments with her, and he’s having a precious little baby with her. All the things I knew—God, how I knew—but suddenly, surrounded by fire, it all seems so real.

  I remind myself that I encouraged this, that it’s the right thing for him and his child, and yes, the girl who is so fucked up it’s almost scary. But this is coming from a girl who knew herself, who had strong morals and a set path, who was on the brink of crazy herself. I knew I was going to either fall apart or be here, picking up sand-sized pieces of my heart, trying to put it back together for maybe … ever.

  Breathe, Tessa, I tell myself. Be strong. He’s doing the right thing. Let him. Be his friend. Just breathe.

  My foot catches a rock, and my ankle turns. So, right there, trying to stand strong, I fall.

  Tears come immediately.

  Lucas squats down beside me and swallows back his own tears. “You okay, Tessa?”

  “No. It hurts.” I curl into a ball and bury my face in my knees as tears pour onto them.

  “Let me help you up.”

  “I can do it. Just give me a minute.” I bat away tears and look up at him.

  He’s trying to be strong, and what sucks the most is I know he’s hurting, just like me. Maybe even more.

  He reaches out and begins rubbing small circles on my back, and I can’t fucking breathe.

  “Sorry, Tessa, does that hurt?”

  “Yep.” Everything hurts. “So, what else happened with her?”

  “She told me I needed to move out of here,” he answers quietly.

  I feel my hands begin to shake. “And what did you say?”

  “I told her I’d work on it, but it may be two more months.”

  I take a deep breath. “So, are you working on it?”

  He shrugs. “I think I should.”

  “Oh,” I say, and the tears fall harder.

  “I know you don’t want help up, but we should really get you back to clean up that leg.”

  I didn’t even realize I’m bleeding. The pain in my leg is nothing compared to my shattering heart.

  I lift my shirt to wipe my face and look down at my knee. Then I exhale and shake my head.

  He stands and reaches out his hand. I take it, and he pulls me up.

  I pull my hand away. “Thank you.”

  “Can you walk?”

  “I’m going to have to figure it out,” I say, forcing the first step.

  “I can’t let you limp all the way to the house, Tessa.”

  “Well, that one, you’re just going to have to figure out.” I force a smile.

  New Love releases November 11th, 2021

  Books by MJ Fields

  MJ Fields

  THE LEGACY SERIES FAMILY OF BOOKS

  (Recommended reading order)

  The Blue Valley series

  Blue Love

  New Love - November 11th

  Sad Love- November 25th

  True Love- December 9th

  Coming in 2022

  Wrapped In Silk

  Wrapped In Armor

  Wrapped In Us

  Stained

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  Love You Anyways

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  The Men of Steel Series

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  Or get the

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  Hammered

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  or get the

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  Tied in Steel series

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  The Caldwell Brothers Series

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  The Broody Brit: For Christmas

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  About the Author

  MJ Fields is a USA Today bestselling author of contemporary and new adult romance novels. She lives in New York with her daughter and smoochie faced Newfie, Theo.

  When she's not locked away in the cave, she enjoys spending time with her family, listening to live music, watching theatre, singing off key, dancing to her own beat, listening to audio books, and reading— of course.

  Forever Steel!

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