He shoved to his feet, and his chair hit the floor with a crash.
The other shifter who was recounting his activities yesterday stopped on a gasp. Ten sets of eyes centered on Ryan.
Dirk’s bored into him, burrowing deep under the skin and the fur no one could see. The doctor looked right into Ryan’s soul.
The shift began without warning. Ryan’s claws extended, and fur sprouted on his shoulders and neck. Before he could get himself under tight rein, his muzzle formed.
Panic coiled in his stomach, and a primal snarl burst from him.
Dirk ran forward, the light in his eyes akin to joy.
“No, no!” Ryan yelled, but it didn’t come out as syllables.
Dirk reached for him, and he felt the man’s fingers comb through the thickening hair on his arm.
A roar erupted. I can’t do this without Anders. In this form, I need him more than air no matter what the doctor says.
Ryan’s thoughts flayed. He lost his grip. His limbs lengthened and swelled with power. Dirk leaped away to give him space.
No, dammit. I’m not shifting.
With supreme effort, he shoved against the sensation. Some of the magic inside him dissipated, leaving behind a hollow feeling. Instead of pushing that emptiness away, he embraced it.
Some of his fur vanished. He stared at his paw, watching as the sinew and claws took the shape of a human hand again.
Silence deafened. Blinking, he stared from face to face, noting shock or worry or even admiration.
When he looked at Dirk, he read the doctor’s sadness.
You are magnificent. Anders’ words about Ryan’s bear appearance reverberated in his skull.
Swinging away, he strode to the door. He ripped it open with such force it slammed off the inner wall and banged shut behind him.
The door opened and closed again, and footsteps sounded. He didn’t need to turn around to know it was the doctor.
“Leave me be.”
“I will not. You sought sanctuary and help from us. My job is to make you whole.”
“Can never happen.” He stretched his legs to out-pace Dirk.
The man was slightly taller, though, and caught up to him. When he closed his fingers around Ryan’s wrist, he could take it no more.
Tearing his arm free, he whirled on the doctor, his inner bear surfaced momentarily and roared in his face. Dirk rocked on his heels but didn’t budge from his position oh, so close to Ryan.
Dirk’s eyes glittered. “You can’t push me away.”
“No? Watch me.” He smacked the heels of his hands off Dirk’s chest. The solid muscle under his skin flooded him with that new need.
“Don’t walk away. Fight the madness you feel.”
“Why should I?” he growled, voice pitched as low as his bear’s.
Dirk pushed out a breath, and the scent of mint and man washed over Ryan. A bit of his ire flowed away.
“Because it’s worth it to live again.”
“Says who? You?”
“Yeah.” Dirk pressed closer until the toes of their shoes met.
With the doctor’s sculpted chest so close, Ryan lost his focus. What the hell was going on?
He stumbled back a step, and Dirk whipped his arm around him, yanking him right into his embrace.
Fear burned in Ryan’s chest. The contact was too intimate, too wrong. Too much. He had to get away—he belonged to Anders. His mate wouldn’t like another shifter touching him.
Raising his hands, he tried to shove away, but Dirk steeled his muscles, locking Ryan to him.
He tried not to drop his head to the doctor’s thick shoulder, but his clean scent comforted. Fraction by fraction, he lowered his head until he pressed his forehead to the cotton and dragged in a deep breath.
Dirk held him, silent. The corridor was abandoned at this time of day, as the patients in the Sanctuary were either eating lunch or at group therapy.
“Come with me,” Dirk murmured close to Ryan’s ear.
He fought the shiver his whisper raised. “Where?”
“My office.”
Shoving away, Ryan took two steps. Distance was necessary. “I’m not going to be evaluated again, Dr. Dreyer.”
His eyes flashed. “Dirk.”
“I’m not coming, Dirk.”
“Fine. That’s where I’m going, so if you want to follow, you’re welcome to.” Dirk started past him as if he hadn’t just left a group of people waiting for his return.
For a moment, Ryan watched him go. Under the cotton shirt he wore, Dirk’s back muscles rolled.
“Wait! You can’t go. You have group therapy.”
Without breaking stride, Dirk waved. “My assistant Josef will be in to take over.”
“How do you know that?” Ryan glanced up and down the hall but didn’t see a single soul.
The doctor paused and pivoted to stare at Ryan. He squirmed under the doctor’s gaze. “Josef is my clan mate.” He tapped his temple. “We can communicate.”
Ryan narrowed his eyes, studying the shifter more closely. So he was Medve. Ryan had never been able to guess. His tall, strong form might have hailed from any clan, including Ursu.
“Are you mated?” He’d once prided himself on sensing a bear’s status, but now he was too out of touch with his emotions, let alone another shifter’s. And Dirk was hard to read. Those fierce features gave little away.
Something dark slid over Dirk’s face. “No. Not mated.” He turned and began walking down the corridor again.
Ryan stared at him, wanting more information. Such as why his eyes burned when he said that. And how a bear could get to his age without finding a mate.
He followed. When he caught up to Dirk, the doctor shot him a smile that was really a tightening of his lips. Together they continued to the end of the corridor and made a left. The office was three doors away.
When they reached it, Dirk let him pass through the open doorway first. As Ryan spotted the wooden desk and the comfortable chairs on either side of it, he tensed. He’d sat in one of those chairs and been prodded for information before. He had no desire to discuss the events that had driven him here or his next course of action.
Why did I follow Dirk then?
Because he showed he cared, and right now Ryan needed that more than anything in the world.
The pain in his heart extinguished by a few flames.
Dirk walked straight to his desk, sat down, and dropped his head into his hands. At the despondent pose Ryan nearly released a sound in his throat, but he swallowed it.
“Sit.” Dirk looked up. “Please.”
He did, feeling like a silly boy for his outbursts of late. And almost shifting was inexcusable, even if Dirk wanted him to do it.
The doctor massaged his temples for a long minute before glancing up again. “What am I going to do with you, Young Bear?”
Irritation rippled through Ryan. He perched on the edge of his seat. “I’m not so young.”
“Young enough. Will you talk to me about what happened back there?”
“No.” The word was stated flatly, with no room for persuasion.
Dirk lifted his head from his hands and sat back against his leather chair with a sigh. “I can’t force you. But I would like to know what goes on in your head. And your heart.”
A knot formed in Ryan’s throat. He studied his fingers in his lap. “I wish for death. There is little else.”
Dirk leaned his elbows on the desk. “Is that so? Then why didn’t you just remain in the woods until death claimed you? Why did you come to the Sanctuary? And yesterday at the creek, you didn’t look like you desired death.”
He remained silent, unable to answer.
“You don’t know, do you?”
Ryan shook his head.
“Your spirit wishes to live, even without your mate. Now say his name to me.” The command in Dirk’s voice sent a panic stampeding through his chest. Only Anders used such a tone with him. His inherent desire to obey raged
.
Dirk slapped the desktop with his open palms. “Aloud.”
“An-Anders.” Tears prickled, but he didn’t let them fall.
The name fell between him and the doctor. Something changed in Dirk. His breathing slowed, his eyes burned a little hotter. Ryan thought of electrified emeralds.
“Why will you not shift?” Dirk shook his head with such sadness, Ryan felt chastised.
“I cannot. My animal wants its mate. If I let it out…”
“What do you think will happen?”
“I’ll go mad. I’ll wound… kill.”
Dirk straightened and stared at him. “You’re afraid you’ll cause injury to those around you.”
Ryan nodded. “That’s part of the reason.”
“And the other part?”
He met the doctor’s gaze full force. “I’ll want him with a power I won’t be able to control.”
“I’ll help you rein it in.” Dirk’s voice was gritty.
Ryan blinked. “What?”
“I’ll help you. You need to shift, and I’ll keep you safe while you do. I’ll ensure no one is harmed, including you.”
Ryan considered his words. He’d been urging him to shift for weeks, but until today, when he accidentally almost had done so, Ryan felt it impossible. If he did shift, would he find that quiet spot in his bear form where he could lick the wounds inflicted by his own mate?
Could he take the chance?
He met Dirk’s clear green eyes.
Can I afford not to?
“I have a type of therapy I’d like you to try. But you must trust me.”
Ryan looked into the doctor’s eyes and realized he already did trust him. More than anybody in the world right now. More than even his mate.
He nodded slowly. “I’m ready.”
* * * * *
Dirk waded into the warm pool with Ryan. The young bear cowered against one wall, looking as if he might leap out of the water and bolt into the surrounding woods.
Give me a chance, Ryan. Let me coax out some of your pain.
Drifting closer to Ryan, he maintained eye contact. Little waves ebbed against Ryan’s hard chest and kissed his abs where they disappeared underwater. The ridges called for Dirk to explore them, to follow that dark love trail down into the nest of curls that would cushion his cock.
When Ryan had stripped down to his tight boxers, Dirk had been shaken. The vision of that bulge tormented him.
As did everything about the young bear.
Dirk’s traitorous eyelids had grown heavy with desire, and he forced them open into an encouraging expression. Drawing near, he reached for Ryan. “I’d like you to float. I’ll support you. When it happens, I want you to think of your weight being suspended, of your mind floating as well. Let go of the things you dwell on.”
“Will I shift, do you think?” Ryan’s voice was unsteady.
“I’m not sure what will happen. This is only one exercise we shall undertake together, Young Bear.”
“Why do you call me that?” Beads of water shone out all over Ryan’s chest and arms.
Dirk’s mouth twisted upward. “You’re younger than I am.”
“Not by much, I can tell.”
“It’s enough,” he said heavily. Wishing things were different wouldn’t do any good. While he wanted this shifter with a fierceness he’d never known, Dirk could only hope to heal him and send him on his way.
But maybe he’ll remain among the Medve. I could still see him.
Dirk took another step closer. Water lapped at his skin and Ryan’s too.
“What do you want me to do?” Ryan looked like a cornered animal.
Using his most calming voice, he directed the young shifter to turn around. Now how to move up against Ryan without letting him know of his own arousal? He angled his hips out and wrapped his arms around Ryan’s chest.
The slickness of his flesh against Dirk’s almost made him lose control. He wanted to grind his aching cock into Ryan’s firm ass while fondling him to hardness. Then he would slide their boxers down, part his cheeks, and glide home.
His mouth watered to bite into Ryan’s neck. He licked his lips. Too hoarsely he said, “Lie back and let yourself float.”
A shiver ran through Ryan—apprehension or something more?
Dirk couldn’t afford to let his mind play tricks on him. While he wanted this young refugee, Ryan only wanted his mate.
But hopefully not forever.
Ryan lifted his feet off the bottom of the pool. When he started to float, he jerked his muscles to catch himself. Instinct took over in Dirk. He put his mouth to Ryan’s ear and held him more firmly.
“Don’t think. Just let your mind drift along with your body. We’re going to take you to a new place where you are no longer afraid.”
Trouble was, while he was urging Ryan to let go of his fear, Dirk’s was rising. What if he lost himself in this shifter he couldn’t have? What if he unleashed his beast and took what he wanted?
His cock throbbed, and his balls drew up tight to his body.
Ryan’s long toes appeared on the surface of the water. He was floating, but he still held himself too rigidly.
With one hand supporting Ryan’s spine, Dirk ran the other over his water-slicked pecs. A sparse spattering of warm brown hair coated his skin, and his nipples were two suck-able buds begging to be licked.
Bitten.
Dirk closed his eyes against the sight, but he knew those tight nipples would act as inspiration for months to come. His cock swelled another fraction.
The outdoor pool was secluded and rarely used. In fact, Dirk had only been here once before. This therapy session was completely off the cuff. He had no idea if it would help Young Bear or make things worse. But Ryan’s willingness to try and the healing effects of the creek water earlier had spurred Dirk to make a decision to bring him here.
The forest reflected in the water around them, turning it dark green. Under the light blue sky and watery sun, Ryan’s skin looked pale. Too pale.
“Let go. Listen to my voice and nothing else. Focus on that inner self—the person you were before and will be again. Let my voice drug you.”
Ryan issued a shaky breath and his thighs floated to the surface. Dark hair glued itself to his skin. Dirk centered his gaze on the bulge between those thighs that he wanted to see most.
He held his breath as Ryan relaxed more.
When the contour of Ryan’s cock came into view, Dirk could stand no more. He trailed his lips over Ryan’s throat.
The dark musky flavor burst on his lips. Ryan quivered. Did he feel Dirk’s lips or was he under his spell?
Unable to stop himself, Dirk kissed a path up to Ryan’s ear. The skin broke out in gooseflesh, and Dirk darted his tongue out to taste it.
Their breathing came faster, harder. Dirk angled his head and kissed his jawline. The stubble under his lips ignited him in brand new ways.
Shaking with desire, he whispered, “Let me have all of you.” He ran his tongue up the crease of his jaw and across to the corner of his lips. Ryan’s face was utterly still, accepting. His eyes moved under the lids as if he were dreaming.
Dirk hovered with his mouth inches from Ryan’s. He wanted this man more than any he’d ever seen. Could it mean Ryan was destined to be his mate? It was too much to hope for yet…
He swooped in and claimed his mouth.
* * * * *
Ryan thrashed, throwing water in a wave to land across both of their faces. Sputtering, he jerked out of the doctor’s arms and swam away as if a shark were on his tail.
What was happening?
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” he raged.
From clear across the pool, he could see guilt and despair cloud Dirk’s handsome face. Ryan fought to keep from closing his eyes against the memory of the man’s lips.
No. Absolutely not. I am Anders’ mate. I belong to him.
Another voice in Ryan’s head yelled over his. But Ander
s threw you out. It’s over.
Withdrawal slammed him.
Sucking him down.
His stomach cramped.
Dirk reached him in four long swim strokes. He grabbed Ryan as he sank, tugging him into his arms. “I’m sorry I did that, but dammit, I know it will help you. It’s something deeper you aren’t admitting yet.”
He pressed his mouth over Ryan’s. The unfamiliar taste of the man was rich and heady. Dirk thrust his tongue between Ryan’s lips at the same moment he cupped his cock through his wet boxers.
His length extended, growing to fit a new palm that wasn’t Anders’.
Inside him, something blistered and broke open.
Want seeped out.
Surging upward, he poured himself into the kiss. Dirk groaned, and the sound inflamed Ryan. He slid his tongue over Dirk’s and rocked into his hand.
“Let me get you off,” Dirk panted. Ryan nodded, and Dirk plunged a hand into his boxers. He peeled them off in a single quick movement, baring Ryan to the warm waters.
And to Dirk’s long fingers.
He bucked into his fist. Dirk claimed his mouth again as he stroked from balls to tip. He swirled his thumb over the cream gathering there. Ryan lost himself to the bliss.
As Dirk ran his hand back down, Ryan’s pucker squeezed tight at the thought of Dirk entering him. He was ashamed by how much he wanted it—needed it.
This is not Anders.
Dirk kneaded Ryan’s balls then slid his fingers back in the sensitive area beneath. Ryan opened his eyes and looked into the depths of Dirk’s.
Confusion and want bled from the man. Something broke in Ryan—he suddenly wanted to soothe as much as be soothed.
He reached for Dirk’s shaft. When he went into his boxers after Dirk’s cock, shock gripped him.
He was big.
No, not just big. Huge.
Hung like a bear. Hysterical laughter threatened to spill out, but he clamped down on it, more in control than he’d been in weeks.
Dirk’s eyes darkened as Ryan fondled his thick cock. “Let me…just…” He choked on the last of the sentence when Ryan made his fist into a tight sheath and began fist-fucking him.
“Hell, yes.” Dirk threw his head back and increased his hand speed on Ryan’s erection. Several heartbeats later, he dragged them to a shallow end of the pool. Ryan put his feet down and they stood together, cock to cock.
Sanctuary in the Bear Shifter's Arms: A MM Shifter Bonding Alpha Mates Romance (Primal Roar Book 1) Page 6
