Hot SEAL, Cold Feet (SEALs in Paradise)

by Becca Jameson

  He smiled. “You sound like your dad.”

  She shrugged. “I’ve spent a lot of time with my dad.”

  Tuck slid his fingers into her hair and held her gaze again. “He’s a great man, and he has an amazing daughter.”

  She flushed. “Thank you.”

  “You really don’t want lunch?” He felt kind of stupid assuming she would sleep with him the moment he arrived.

  She rolled her eyes. “No, stupid. No lunch. Come straight here. I’ll be waiting.”

  He would have to get a hotel room starting Sunday night anyway. He would pick her up and take her there if that’s what she wanted. He sure wasn’t going to complain about getting her naked first chance he got. I love you, he thought as he continued to stare at her, memorizing her as if it would be months until he saw her again instead of thirty hours. “I have to go,” he whispered.

  “I know.” She held him tighter, planting her face against his chest. “Hurry up and come back.”

  “I’ll be here as fast as I can.” He kissed the top of her head and then let her go and hurried out the front door without looking back. If he’d stayed even one more minute, he was afraid he wouldn’t have been able to stop himself from saying fuck it and plastering her against the wall, letting his hands wander all over her sexy body before stripping her naked and tasting every inch of her for the first time. No one would ever have to know.

  Except he would know.

  And he was technically married.

  Until Monday.

  Then all bets were off.

  His cock was hard as he slid into his car, and he set his forehead against the steering wheel to catch his breath. God. Jodi. Jodi Jodi Jodi. His life was in that bar, probably climbing up the stairs by now to take off those sexy jeans and climb into bed. If he had his way, tonight and tomorrow night would be the last nights she spent alone.

  Chapter 18

  “Where the hell have you been?” Katia was furious, of course. She started stomping around the apartment the moment he stepped inside.

  Tuck wasn’t surprised. It would have been cool if she’d been in bed sleeping and never realized he’d been late, but there had been little to no chance of that happening. Katia was a night owl who immensely enjoyed tormenting Tuck the moment he arrived.

  “There was an incident at the bar. I had to wait for the cops and give a statement.”

  She glared at him. “You expect me to believe you?”

  He shrugged, trying to act nonchalant while inside he felt anything but calm. “I could get the police report if you want.” If she wanted to needle him, he would pretend he didn’t give two shits.

  Katia pouted as she changed her demeanor and approached him like a cat in heat. “Did you really have to call the cops?” Her voice was sultry now. She gave him whiplash.

  “Yes.”

  She set her hands on his chest above his crossed arms. “Was there a fight or something?”

  “Or something,” he responded. There was no chance in hell he was going to give her and the entire world the details of his night.

  “Did you stay and comfort that waitress? I bet she was scared if there was a bar fight?” She smoothed her hands up to his neck and lifted up on her tiptoes to kiss his lips.

  He didn’t return the kiss. In fact, he was fed up with the charade. He grabbed her wrists and pried her off him. “There is no waitress, Katia. Stop it.” He wasn’t lying. Jodi was no waitress. Not that he cared. He wouldn’t give a single shit what Jodi did for a living. She was twice the woman Katia would ever be. The point was that since Katia kept referring to Jodi as a waitress every time she mentioned his job, he assumed her spies had nothing. Who did they think he was screwing around with? Roxie? Jacob? Liz?

  It didn’t matter. Getting through this exchange in the living room so he could sequester himself in the bathroom for a while was all that mattered. This would be the last night he had to spend with Katia. Tomorrow night on the show, he would break things off with her. Monday, he would file for divorce. The moment he walked out of that courthouse, he would breathe free for the first time in over three months. Still technically married, of course, but at least after he filed, a huge weight would lift off his shoulders.

  “Tucker,” Katia whined, “you never want to spend time with me.” Her bottom lip stuck out. Her annoying voice continued. “What am I supposed to think when you leave me here alone every night until almost morning? We’ve only been married a few months. I never see you. Of course I would assume you like that waitress more than me.”

  He inhaled slowly, fighting the urge to throttle her. This is the last night. Hold it together. Grab something from the script. Too bad he hadn’t had a chance to read over much of the script tonight. It wasn’t as though he’d had a nice long break. “I have to work. You seem to forget that.” Granted, she didn’t need to know tonight had been his last night working at Bridgman’s. What difference did it make?

  “But can’t you find a job that’s in the day so we can spend the evenings together?”

  Ha. As if he would spend even one more evening with her. “Nope. I have a perfectly good job. I enjoy it. I’m not going to change it. You could get up earlier in the morning and spend time with me if you really wanted.” He didn’t mean that, but it sounded nice for the fans.

  Surely most of them weren’t fooled into thinking this farce could last past the show tomorrow night. He didn’t think he’d done a good job of confusing anyone. He was usually furious when he spoke to Katia. But Maria hadn’t complained about their interaction, so apparently the fans were eating it up. He certainly hadn’t looked at Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram to read what people were saying. He could easily go his entire life without ever glancing at what people said about him.

  She pouted again. “You know I’m not a morning person.”

  Did he ever. She was usually out cold when he got up and started the day. He didn’t mind a bit since most mornings he was able to sneak around the room, use the bathroom, and get dressed before she moved. He often made it to the table and was enjoying his coffee and reading through emails before she staggered in.

  Of course she didn’t get dressed first. She showed up each morning in some teddy that barely covered her body—the same one she tried to tempt him with the night before. It never worked, but she never gave up. They’d been through this routine for ninety days now. He was over it.

  Tuck skirted around her, leaving her standing in the middle of the floor. He needed space. She sucked the oxygen out of him.

  Funny how he didn’t need space when he was with Jodi. And he’d have a never-ending hard-on if she pranced around him wearing lingerie. But Katia? Nothing.

  “I have some things I need to take care of in the morning. You’ll have to fend for yourself. I’ll meet you at the studio later in the day.”

  She flinched. “Tomorrow?” Her voice could not be any whinier. “But tomorrow is the last episode of the show, Tucker.”

  Isn’t that what I just pointed out?

  “Yes… I’m aware of that.”

  “Don’t you think we should spend the day together, deciding how we want to proceed with our future?”

  Was she kidding? He lifted both brows. “Our future?”

  She tipped her head to one side and plastered on a ridiculous exaggerated, coy expression, drawing circles on the carpet with one of her big toes. “Yeah. I was thinking if we moved out of this apartment and got our own place, one without cameras, we could get past all this nonsense with the show easier and maybe start trying to have a family.”

  He nearly choked. Was she making this shit up on the spot? Or was this in the script he’d never read for today? He stared at her, unable to decide what to say next.

  She advanced on him again. When she reached him, she flattened her palms on his chest and tipped her head back. “You want kids, don’t you?”

  He swallowed, sweat beading on his forehead. He’d sooner jump off a bridge than have kids with this woman. Was she
high or did she hit her head earlier in the day and couldn’t remember the two of them had never had sex? Half of him thought it might be fun if he pointed that out right now. Instead, he kept his lips closed as usual. New Millennia Media hadn’t given him the green light to out their total farce of a relationship at any point. They said it was better for ratings if the fans weren’t sure what happened behind closed doors.

  Tuck decided to bite his tongue, as usual, and not risk breaking his agreement in the home stretch. “Can we discuss this another time? I’m really tired.”

  She stood straighter, her expression one of pure joy. She really was an amazing actress, he had to give her that. Maybe the entire damn setup was an act to her. Hell, wouldn’t it be interesting if he found out she actually despised him from the moment he stepped on the set? “So, you’ll think about it?”

  “I didn’t say that. I said I’m tired.” He backed up until his hand was on the bedroom door. “I’ll be gone in the morning before you get up. I’ll meet you at the set, okay?”

  “Sure.” She was still grinning when he left her there, making him wonder what sort of performance she put on for their audience after he was sequestered in the bedroom.

  He cringed and then took a deep breath and shook off what would probably be his last pubic interaction with her. At least the livestreaming inside their apartment.

  Tomorrow, he would go see his mom early enough that Katia wouldn’t be up. He would find a way to stall until he needed to be at the studio for the final shoot. There would be a team of people there to make suggestions and arrange run-throughs before the final live show began. Hopefully, he would have the strength to finish off without losing his sanity or his cool.

  Chapter 19

  “Tucker Lawler?” The man rushing toward Tuck in the parking lot of his mother’s nursing home was wearing jeans and a Rush T-shirt. His dirty-blond hair was stylishly long, and Tuck figured he was about twenty-five.

  Tuck did not want to speak with him or anyone else this morning. He hated that someone was able to track him down at this nursing home at all, and he hated even more that someone would specifically be waiting for him this morning. He never came here on a Sunday.

  Furious, he shot the guy a glare and picked up his pace, aiming for the front door. He could see there was a security guard at the door. If he could just get inside, the man wouldn’t let anyone pass behind him.

  The blond man kept coming toward him at a jog. “Mr. Lawler, if I could just have a moment of your time. It’s important.”

  Tuck ignored him. Nothing was more important than spending a few hours with his mom and then putting an end to this absurd interlude in his life. He picked up the pace, stepping around the insistent guy when he got in front of him.

  “Please. Mr. Lawler. I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t important.”

  Tuck pursed his lips and kept walking. He was afraid to say a single word for fear he might actually lash out either verbally or with his fists. He was so fed up that violent thoughts made him flex his fingers.

  As Tuck reached the front door, the security guard opened it for him. “Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to step back. This facility only permits family members and approved friends of the patients,” the guard insisted.

  Tuck made it inside without further incident, wondering why someone would want to hunt him down like this. A man in fact. Women had been hounding him for pictures and autographs for weeks. Not men.

  After composing himself and shaking off the unwanted interruption, he made his way to his mother’s room, nodding at the nurse behind the front desk as he passed. “Morning, Tuck.”

  “Hey, Shelly. Any change?”

  Her eyes were drawn and sad. “No. Sorry. I think she’s comfortable though. She had a good night.”

  Tuck kept going. When he reached his mother’s door, he closed his eyes for a moment to center himself, and then he entered.

  Every time he came, his mother was smaller and frailer. Today was no exception. He pulled a chair up to her side and sat close, reaching for her hand. As he clasped it, she didn’t move or acknowledge him. She didn’t wake up. The only thing about her that suggested she was still alive was the rise and fall of her chest and the warmth of her hand.

  “Mom, it’s me. Tucker. I’m here. I know you’re tired. You just rest. I’m gonna sit and talk to you for a while.”

  She didn’t flinch. No recognition that anyone was speaking or touching her. She’d been like this for a few weeks now, so he wasn’t surprised. But it was still difficult. Every time he walked through the door, he prayed by some miracle he would find her improved. Awake. Sitting up. Smiling. Even if she didn’t recognize him, it would be better than this stage.

  He hated this disease with every bone in his body. He hated that his mother had been alone when she was diagnosed and he’d been halfway around the world fighting in a war. He hated that by the time his tour had ended and he’d returned to his childhood home to care for her, she’d declined so rapidly she was only a shell of herself.

  Tuck had quickly learned that full-time care in a respectable nursing home was expensive. His mother had no savings and nothing to fall back on. So, he’d sold his childhood home and had been blowing through every dime of the proceeds for the last six months.

  She was in the final stages, but the doctors said it could be weeks or months or even longer, depending on how hard her body fought. He hated that for her too. She wouldn’t want to live like this.

  He gave her hand a squeeze. “I met someone.” He smiled as his mind filled with visions of Jodi. “You’d love her, Mom. She’s kind and sweet and cute and funny and smart and hardworking and so many other things.”

  He’d never once told his mother about the reality show or Katia, not wanting her to know what a bonehead he’d been to get more money. She would have told him not to do it. To leave her in a more economical place. She would have cried if she’d known even half of what he’d gone through to ensure she died with dignity and respect.

  The money from selling her house would only last a little longer, but now he would have the thirty thousand he’d gotten three months ago and another fifty thousand tomorrow to cover her expenses. If he was careful, he could make it last a long time.

  Granted, he needed an apartment, and he needed it fast. He had no place to stay starting tonight, in fact. He hadn’t even gotten a hotel yet. He would secure something affordable for a few weeks while he looked at apartments. If it weren’t for Jodi, he would aim low, but now… Now he wanted someplace she wouldn’t be appalled to live in.

  Tuck was serious about the fact that he didn’t intend to spend another night away from Jodi. He also wasn’t going to sleep in the same small apartment as her dad. That meant he needed to find a hotel for the short term and an apartment for the long term. He hadn’t had a single moment to deal with either of those things.

  He smiled again as he thought about how Jodi would respond to his ideas. “She’s so practical, Mom. I’m going to find a place where we can live, but I know she won’t care. She’ll probably say we don’t even need a couch or a bedframe. I bet she’d go months with nothing but a folding chair and a mattress on the floor without saying a word. I’ve never met anyone who cared so little about material things.”

  He hadn’t thought much about that aspect of her yet, but he knew it was true. She didn’t wear fancy clothes or shoes or makeup or hair products. He’d only been upstairs and seen her apartment once, but he remembered it being simple. Granted, she had her own financial problems that kept her from buying anything frivolous, but he doubted she would ever do so even if she had a million dollars.

  Tuck glanced at his mother’s hair. It was gray now. Not the nearly black pin-straight hair he remembered from his childhood. “You would be so envious of Jodi’s hair, Mom. It’s so curly, just like you always wished for yours. Natural curls. I could spend hours stroking it.” He flinched. Maybe that wasn’t something he would ordinarily say to his mom if he thought she
were able to hear him.

  He thought about how those adorable curls escaped to dance around her face gradually every night. He’d often wished he had the right to tuck a lock behind her ear just for the excuse to touch her. Soon. Tomorrow in fact. He could run his hands through it. He bet if he pulled a lock of it straight, it would reach halfway down her back.

  “Her dad owns a bar. She has a business degree, and she’s such a hard worker. She can do ten things at once without missing a beat.”

  He swallowed, his voice dipping. “She’s stretched too thin though. Reminds me of you when I was a kid. I wish I could have lessened your burden more. It must have been so hard raising me on your own. Working two jobs most of the time to make sure I had shoes without holes and jeans that weren’t too short.”

  He smiled again as he sat up and leaned closer to her. “Remember that time I wouldn’t let you buy me new jeans for the school year because I insisted I loved the pair I had? You bought me new ones and put the old ones in the trash can out at the street while I was sleeping. You were horrified when I climbed into that deep trash can the next morning before school to get them out.” He chuckled. “The trash can was taller than me. I was probably seven at the time. God, I loved those jeans. I didn’t care that they had holes in the knees and my socks showed. I didn’t understand at the time why you cried. I get it now.”

  He choked up as he remembered the way she stood on the sidewalk, biting her lip, looking both ways to make sure no one was watching. A tear ran down her face as she hurried him back inside to get dressed before school.

  “Yeah, you would love Jodi. I know I do. It will take me a while to save up so I can buy her the kind of ring she deserves, but I’ll make it happen. She’s so perfect, Mom. So exactly perfect for me.” A tear escaped his eye, and he didn’t even bother to wipe it away. It had been a long time since he cried, but he wasn’t ashamed. It felt good to get it out. His life had been upside down for months. He needed the release.