I punch him, connecting with his jaw. “Why were you told to do it?
“It was about the drugs,” he yells.
I turn around and we all look at each other. Confusion is what I see in their faces, all but Brooks. He’s pissed. I shake my head looking at him.
“What about the drugs?” Enzo asks, putting his knife against Thomas’ throat. “I want to know exactly what Kingsley told you.”
Thomas sits silently, proving he will die for his club. I would do the exact same thing, but I’m not going to make it easy for him. Apparently, neither is Enzo. He pushes his blade harder against Thomas’ throat, drawing blood. Thomas hisses, but still doesn’t say a word. I lift my eyes to Enzo, and he gives me permission with the slightest nod. I take another shot, grazing his arm with the bullet.
“Fuck,” he yells.
“I fucking warned you,” I shout.
Kace walks over, stepping down on Thomas’ foot. He screams in pain, but Kace pushes down harder. The heavy black boots he’s got on are no match to the shitty dress shoes Thomas is wearing. He’s feeling all the pain and getting weaker.
“I know you don’t want to betray your club, it’s the manly thing to do. I respect you for that. But this is nothing compared to what’s coming your way. Give us what we want, and we won’t be the ones to slowly torture you, making you feel everything for days, maybe weeks, before we finally kill you.” He lifts his leg and stomps on Thomas’ foot, evoking a scream I didn’t know a man could make. “Tell us,” Kace growls.
“Kingsley said the Shattered Souls stole drugs from him. He said we needed to make a point that we knew, and we would take out anyone who you loved,” he cries out.
“Why does he think we stole his drugs?” Brooks asks.
I glance at him. His arms are crossed, his eyes are hard, and he’s leaning back a bit. To everyone else it looks like he’s pissed about the lies, but I know better. He’s pissed that secrets are starting to spill. I’m sure he was certain Thomas would die before anything was said. Now he’s asking why Kingsley thinks it’s us. That’s to see what Kingsley actually knows, I’m sure of it. He’s trying to cover his ass.
“He said a reliable source told him, but he never told us who that was,” Thomas says, groaning in pain. “That’s all I know.”
“Who’s leaving threatening notes for Harper?” I growl.
His eyes snap to mine and widen. “What? I have no fucking idea, but it’s not us. We all love Harper, we’d never put her danger,” he whispers.
Before I realize it, I am punching him. Hit after hit to the face. Blood is dripping from his brow and lip before Kace pulls me off. “You all put her in danger every fucking day. No one protected her. Don’t you ever say you love her again. I will fucking kill you now,” I yell.
“Fuck you,” he shouts. “The threatening letters aren’t from us.”
I spin around and look at my club. I run my hands through my hair, before scrubbing my face. “Well?”
“I believe him,” Riley says. Alex and Porter agree.
I look at Kace and he shrugs. “I think he’s given us as much as he’s gonna. I’m not sure it’s the entire truth, but it’s more than I expected.”
“I agree with Kace,” Brooks says.
Of course, he does. Nothing came out that would have anyone believe he’s mixed up in this shit. His ass is safe, and he loves that. It has my skin burning with rage. Brooks is gonna walk away with his secrets safe.
“I’m not a rat, but I have a family. Let me go and I’ll find all the information you’re after,” Thomas pleads.
A gunshot rings in my ears as I watch Thomas’ body go limp. A shot straight in the head. I spin around and see Brooks putting his gun back in his waistband.
“What the fuck? You fucking killed him!” I yell.
“He was no use to us anymore,” Brooks says.
I rush to him and grab his shirt with both hands, causing him to stumble back. He holds himself up and I get right in his face. My nose is touching his, my anger pouring off of me. “He was no use, or he was going to go digging for things you want buried?” I whisper, through clenched teeth.
I’m ripped off of him by Enzo and Riley. Brooks straightens his shirt, shaking his head. “You’re losing your grip on reality, boy,” Brooks growls.
“Z, relax. We were gonna kill him anyway,” Kace whispers.
Enzo’s hard eyes are drilling into me. His hands are steepled in front of his mouth as he breathes heavily.
This mother fucker just shot Thomas because he volunteered to get us the information we want. How the hell can I be the only one who sees this? I turn to look at Brooks and he has a smirk on his face as he takes a drag of his smoke. This asshole.
“I’m with Brooks on this, Z. You need to chill the fuck out. We got plenty of information from him, and you know damn well he wouldn’t have given us anything else. He’s a Vegas King with little loyalty. He got what he deserved. Now, pull your goddamn head out of your ass and focus. Enough of this shit. Get yourself under control,” Enzo hisses. He turns his attention to Porter and Alex. “Clean this mess up and get rid of him. Everyone else, lets go.”
They all walk out and Kace grabs my upper arm. “You’re out of control, Z. I’m on your side always, brother, but you’re gonna get yourself killed. Brooks is the president of this club. You can’t keep going at him like that. I can feel the anger rolling off you. You need to do something to relax, anything.”
I don’t say a word, I just nod as we leave. There’s only one thing that can relax me at this point...Harper.
12
Harper
I put the last curl in my hair and unplug the curling iron. I step back to look at myself in the mirror and sigh. My dark brown hair is perfect, curled and hanging down my back. My makeup is flawless, making my blue eyes pop and my lips appear plumper. My body was always something I was proud of and I loved to show off my curves. But my scar is making me lose sight of it all. This bra used to be my favorite. The way the lace and satin hugged my breasts flawlessly, giving me a great amount of cleave. But standing here with one of Zane’s button-down shirts on, open, staring at myself, it does nothing. The only thing I notice is the scar.
“Hey babe,” Zane says, walking in the room.
I scream and tighten the shirt around me. “What the fuck, Z? I’m trying to get ready here,” I yell. I’m embarrassed. He hasn’t seen the scar since that night in the shower when I first got home. He’s asked, but I always deny him. I don’t want him looking at me differently. Whenever he brings it up, I change the subject. I’d rather not even think about it.
I hold the shirt closed as I look for something to wear in the closet. I feel him behind me before he even says a word. My body reacts and I beg it to stop.
“Why are you yelling at me?” he whispers, moving my hair off my shoulder.
My back is to him, so I close my eyes to try to think of anything but how good it feels with him so close to me. His smell is wrapping around me, his breath is blowing on my neck, and his voice is deep and sexy. My body takes notice regardless.
“You scared me, that’s all,” I say. My voice cracks, giving me away.
He presses his front to my back and leans forward to nip my ear, before pressing a kiss below it. “I think it was more than that.” He drags his tongue down to my neck and sucks on the delicate skin. I force myself to not moan out loud. It feels so good and I’ve missed his touch. I miss the way he makes me feel beautiful, sexy, and adored. Not to mention, fucking me like he owns me. Damn, I miss it all.
My head drops back on his shoulder, allowing myself this moment. It feels so good having his mouth on me, making me remember the things that mouth is capable of. His hands grip my hips as he thrusts forward, rewarding me with his hard cock hitting my ass. This time I can’t suppress the moan, it slips right out.
“Fuck, babe,” he growls.
My eyes are still closed, and he again digs his fingers into my hips as his rigid dick pres
ses against me. It’s all consuming. He wraps his arm around and grabs my chin. When I turn, he crashes his lips to mine. It’s rough and full of want. He’s fucking my mouth with his tongue and I sigh with pleasure. He lets out a groan that makes my panties wet, as he continues ravishing my mouth. I’m lost in the moment, lost in his taste. It’s heaven. His hand snakes around to my stomach and before I can react, he trails it up to my bra. I panic, the bubble bursts. I pull away and push past him, wrapping my arms around myself. It’s suddenly hell.
“Babe, I’m sorry,” he says, moving to stand in front of me. I refuse to make eye contact, so he grabs my chin and forces me to. “I thought you were ready.”
“Yeah well, I guess not!” I yell.
He backs up and scrubs his face. “Harper, maybe it’s time to talk to the doctor.”
It feels like a punch to my stomach. I’m no longer feeling ashamed of pulling away from the man I love. Oh no, I’m pissed. I straighten my back and lift my chin, stepping closer to him. “What exactly do you want the doctor to do, Zane?”
I don’t scare him. He takes a step closer, his chest now pressing against my folded arms. The muscle in his neck is throbbing as his eyes go dark with anger. “I want him to talk to you about the problem you’re having. I want him to tell you that you don’t need to be ashamed. I want him to tell you that it’s normal to feel anxious.” He gets right in my face, his breath fanning across my face as he searches my eyes. “I want him to tell you that having sex with your boyfriend isn’t going to fucking kill you,” he shouts.
He doesn’t wait for me to say anything. He stalks out, slamming the door behind him. “Fuck,” I yell. I spin around and swipe my arm across the dresser, knocking everything onto the floor. It’s not enough, so I pick up my boots and throw them at the door, screaming. I go into the closet and grab a black shirt, slipping it over my head. Zane’s shirt falls to the floor as I put mine on.
“Fuck, what’s going on?” Ivy asks, closing the door quietly behind her. “Zane is out back punching the side of the house.”
I close my eyes, shaking my head. “I’m not ready,” I whisper. “Not sure I ever will be.”
“He’s pissed cause you aren’t ready to go? Fuck that, I’ll go say something,” she says.
I grab her arm, stopping her from leaving. “No.” I shake my head. “I’m not ready for sex.”
Her eyes widen and she moves to lean against the dresser. She braces herself, her arms behind her holding onto the edge of the dresser. “You guys still haven’t had sex? Since you got shot?”
“Nope.” I sag down onto the bed and drop my face into my hands.
“Why?” she asks.
I lift my eyes to her and give a humorless laugh. “Seriously? Why? Because I’m scarred, literally and figuratively.”
She raises a perfectly sculpted eyebrow. “And you blame him?”
“No,” I rush out. I sigh and focus on the small piece of lint on the floor. This tiny white ball of nothing, probably wants to jump up and lodge itself in my throat, choking me for my bullshit excuses. “I did blame him when it first happened. I felt like I was suffering, and he was still whole. But I worked past that. I don’t blame him for what happened. I went there, I confronted my father, and I knew what I was doing when I took the bullet. It’s not that.”
She moves to sit next to me and rests her hand on my knee. “So, what is it? Do you have no sex drive now?”
I laugh, a real laugh this time. “No, I definitely do.”
“So?” She pushes.
“It’s ugly. It makes me look damaged. That’s not who I want to be with him,” I whisper.
Her hand tightens on my knee. “So, your brilliant idea is, instead of talking to him about how you feel is to reject him?”
“He knows.”
“Does he? Cause the guy I saw just now, beating his own house, didn’t seem to be in the loop. He deserves more than that, Harper. I’ve never in my life seen someone love another person the way he loves you. The way he was when you were in surgery and after waiting for you to wake up. I’ve never witnessed someone worry that way. The pain and anguish, damn it was hard to watch.” I look at her and she smiles. “The way he took care of you when you came home. Bossing everyone around, including me,” she laughs lightly at the memories. “All to make sure that you had everything you needed or wanted. He wasn’t sleeping, making sure you were. He wasn’t eating, wasn’t leaving the house, wasn’t smiling. But he never showed you any of that. He made sure when he walked in this room, he had a smile and sweet words. He gave every part of himself to you, probably even before all that, but if he had anything left, he doesn’t now. He might just need to feel that you care for him in some sort of way still. I love you, Harper, but you haven’t exactly been a pleasure to be around. You need to fix this before it all falls apart, and that scar will hold an entirely different meaning.” She gets up and blows me a kiss, walking out.
My tears are unstoppable. Everything that she just said, destroyed me. Zane deserves so much better than what I’ve given. I need to make this right.
“You better be helping, not just drinking,” Gloria says, walking back in the kitchen.
I laugh and sip my beer. “I’m doing a little of both.”
“Liar,” Ivy whispers.
“Trader,” I say, walking past to see what I can do.
“What’s going on with Z?” Nora whispers. She’s basting the turkey in the oven but has her eyes on me.
I play dumb. “I don’t know. He was fine earlier.”
When he finally came back in the house, he was the first to apologize. He told me he was out of line and didn’t mean any of it. That I could take all the time I needed, and he’d be there when I was ready. It all just made me feel more like shit. I told him it was my fault and he didn’t need to apologize, but he wouldn’t have it. I was going to tell him everything, but of course club business got in the way. My plan is to talk to him when we get home.
“I don’t just mean today,” Nora says, getting my attention back. “I overheard Enzo talking to Brooks before everyone got here. He said that Z has been out of control. That he’s got an anger issue and they need to figure out what to do about him.”
“What the fuck?” I ask, putting my hands on my hips. “I mean he’s been moody, but I think he’s just got a lot on his mind with my dad out there still plotting our deaths.” I don’t mention anything else because I’m not sure what she’s privy to.
“His father was the same way,” Gloria chimes in. “He let the stress of the club and family get to him. His head wasn’t where it needed to be, and it cost him his life.” She says it with no emotion, even shrugging when she’s done.
“I think everyone needs to mind their own damn business. This has to do with the club, and we don’t need to be stirring the pot of lies and accusations.” I turn to Gloria and narrow my eyes. “How could you speak so callously about your brother-in-law? You only know what you were told.”
She blows smoke my way and laughs. “I know a lot more than you could ever imagine, sweetheart.”
I hate leaving Ivy with the lionesses, but I need a break. I don’t want to say something I’ll regret or that will make things worse for Zane. I step out front and sit down on the first step, looking out at the green lawn. It’s hot out, as it usually is in Vegas, but I feel like I can breathe better out here. I sigh and look up at the clear blue sky. What the hell is going on with Zane? Is Gloria right? Is the stress of the club and family getting to him? I know he said he had a lot more questions than answers, so there must be more to it. I just wish there was something I could do to help him.
The door opens and I turn around. His deep blue eyes search mine. “You alright?”
I force a grin and pat the spot next to me. “I’m fine. A huge turkey dinner is a little overwhelming,” I say, laughing. “I’m not much of a help.”
He laughs and lights a cigarette. “I’m sure you are more of a help than you think, babe.”
&n
bsp; I smile and rest my head on his shoulder. “If drinking beer and talking constitutes more, then sure.”
His arm wraps around me and I immediately feel safe. “You want to get out of here?”
I lift my head and sit back. “Why? What’s wrong?” I no longer feel safe. He never wants to leave family dinner, not before eating. It makes me think something happened with him and the club. That Brooks and Enzo figured out a way to handle him.
“Nothing is wrong. I’d just rather have some time with just you.” He winks at me as he blows out a puff of smoke.
“Z?” I timidly ask.
His eyes harden as he looks from the door to me. “What?”
“What’s going on with you and the club?”
He tosses his cigarette and stands up. “Nothing.”
I stand up and push on his shoulders. “Please don’t make me cause a scene here,” I whisper. “I thought we decided no lies.”
He lets out a hollow laugh. “Oh, is that what we’re going with? I’m not the one hiding from you.”
Ouch. That was fucking low. It’s true, but still fucking hurtful. “Is that how you wanna do this? Will it make you feel better to take out your anger on me?” If he wants to try to avoid talking about the real problem, I’ll give him that. I cross my arms and lift my chin slightly. “Go for it,” I say.
“I’m not taking anything out on you,” he hisses. He’s shaking with anger. I have no idea at this point if it’s because of me or something else. But, now that Nora brought it up, it’s clear.
I decide looking at the man I love more than anything or anyone else, that I need to do something. The anger he has is going to change him into someone he isn’t. I won’t sit back silently and allow that to happen.
I step closer to him and put my hand on his arm. He’s physically shaking. “Baby, what is going on?” I search his eyes, pleading with him to open up to me.
“Club business.”
I wrap my arms around him, digging my fingers into his back. My heart starts to sink for a moment when he doesn’t return the gesture. It’s brief though, because his strong arms envelope me. He holds me tightly and lets out a sigh. That’s right baby let go of that anger.
Redemption (Shattered Souls MC Book 2) Page 9
