“I’m here, Z. I’m healthy, I’m strong, and I’m whole. Don’t hold back with me,” I whisper.
“It’s not you, babe. It’s shit with the club.” He pulls back slightly and gently kisses my lips. “Let’s go back home. I’ll talk if you talk.”
I swallow and nod. “Okay.”
We don’t tell anyone that we are leaving. We just get on his bike and go. My head is spinning, thinking of all the ways this could go. Ivy’s right though, I need to be honest with him. He deserves that. He’s done everything for me, he still is. I may not be entirely sure what is causing his anger, but I’m certain it starts with my father. Everything else is probably just fanning that flame.
When we get home, he orders food, and opens a beer for each of us. He hands me mine and we sit down on the couch. He tosses back the beer, staring out the back door. Maybe it’s liquid courage or maybe it’s avoidance. Either way, I give him the time he needs.
“Babe, I don’t know if telling you anything puts you in danger. I won’t be responsible for something else happening to you,” he starts.
He looks at me, a sadness in his blue eyes that I’ve never seen. Not on him anyway. I know that look though, from myself. It’s what I looked like until I was with him. He’s got a lot of secrets, pain, and anger inside. It’s going to damage him, like it did me.
“Is it my father?” I ask.
He shakes his head. “No. it’s Brooks,” he whispers.
I tilt my head, reaching out to grab his hand. “What about Brooks?”
He’s got inner turmoil trying to figure out if he should or shouldn’t tell me. It’s hard to watch him so unsure of himself.
“Baby, I can handle it.”
“I know you can, but it’s fucked up,” he sighs, shaking his head. “I think Brooks stole drugs from you father. I believe he is working alone, against the club, and I think he’s trying to take focus off that by having the club question me.”
I’m beyond words. I didn’t expect that. No wonder he’s been so angry. I think back to what Nora said. “Shit, I think you’re right.”
His eyebrows dip down, confusion clear on his face. “Nora and Gloria were both talking about your anger issues. Saying they overheard Enzo and Brooks talking about how the club needs to figure out what to do about it.”
“Mother fucker,” he yells.
“Hold on,” I say, grabbing his arm as he tries to stand up. “This is the anger giving them a reason to question you. I’m assuming you talked to the club about your suspicions?”
“Of course, I have. I’m not like him. I’m not hiding shit,” he growls.
He tells me about his suspicions, about talking to the club, and how Brooks has been acting. It’s shocking to say the least. I can’t imagine Brooks stealing from my father. It’s not like he could just grab a shipment and run off with it. That shit is watched constantly and gone before he would have time to come up with some elaborate plan to take them. But everything Zane says does point the finger at Brooks. I understand why he said there are more questions than answers. I tell him what I’m thinking, and he listens carefully. He does respect everything I say, always.
“We killed Thomas,” he says.
“Shit,” I mumble.
“He gave us some information, but before he could get us more, Brooks shot him. I went after Brooks, that’s why they are questioning my anger. I’ve done it a couple times since you’ve been shot,” he explains.
“I think we need to dig more into who told my father and why he would take their word without question,” I say. I grab his hands in mine and he lifts his eyes to mine. “You need to stop, Z. If I’ve learned anything all these years, it’s that you need to go into every situation calmly with a clear head. The anger eats you alive and destroys who you are. You won’t get your answers if you’re fighting against Brooks. You need to find a way to release that anger that isn’t directed toward him.”
A slow smirk spreads across his face and he grabs my legs pulling me against him. “There is a way to get my frustrations out,” he whispers, kissing my neck. “When are you gonna let me back in, Harper?”
I drop my head on his shoulder and sink my fingers into his hair. “I want to Z, so much. It hurts me to push you away.”
“Tell me why?” He grabs my hair, holding me tightly against him.
“I feel damaged now and you deserve more.” It hurts to say it, but it’s not fair to keep hurting him.
He stands up, keeping his grip on me, and carries me to the bedroom. He kicks the door closed behind us and allows me to slide down his body. He pulls his shirt off, his incredible body flexing with every move. The dark tattoos he has gracefully climbing up one arm, wrapping around his shoulder, and ending on his chest, make my panties even more wet. He hasn’t taken his darkening blue eyes off of me and it’s stirring things inside me. When he unbuttons his jeans, the forearm tattoo he has on the other arm, draws my attention, that is until the jeans drop to the floor and he’s just in his black boxers.
“Take off your jeans,” he demands.
I swallow and slowly unbutton my jeans. I wasn’t even this nervous the first time I had sex. It was with Zane at our spot, and I knew that night he had my heart completely. We were both nervous kids, fumbling and overly excited. This is the complete opposite of that.
My jeans hit the floor and I hear him growl in approval. His eyes drag up my body, causing me to shiver. “Take your shirt off,” he says. His voice thick with arousal.
My hands are shaking as I grip the bottom of my shirt. I close my eyes, trying to remember how much he loves me. But, I’m stuck, I can’t force myself to move.
His hands cover mine and my eyes snap open. “Babe, I’m not forcing you.”
I don’t say anything. I know he’s not forcing me. It’s not how I feel at all. It’s the fear that I’m about to be exposed. Taking a deep breath, I think of everything Ivy said to me. Zane deserves to know I love him as much as he loves me.
My hands are still shaking, but I gently pull my shirt up. He removes his hands, but my eyes drift closed. I get the shirt off and for the first time in months, I am almost completely exposed. It’s terrifying as much as it is a relief.
“Harper look at me,” Zane softly says.
I slowly open my eyes and his eyes crash into mine. Desire and want are staring back at me. He lets his eyes skate across my body as he adjusts his cock. A bit of my fear disappears when I realize he still finds me attractive. I have no time to even react when his lips slam onto mine. His hands travel down from my shoulders to my ass. He digs his fingers in holding me there while he pushes his hard cock against me. My eyes roll back when I feel him teasing me through my panties. He’s rubbing and pushing against me, making my pussy drip with need. He’s kissing me like his life depends on the air in my lungs. It’s possessive, demanding, and rough. It’s exactly what I need.
He finally breaks the kiss, resting his forehead against mine. We’re both breathless and he moves his hands into my hair, gripping it hard. “You are fucking beautiful, Harper. Your body is sexy as hell. When I see you, with or without clothes, I’m so turned on. The need to feel your wet pussy wrapped around me is making me lose my fucking mind. It’s part of my problem, babe. I need you,” he breathes out.
I squeeze my eyes tighter to prevent the tears from falling. “It’s part of my problem, too.”
He moves his head back slightly; the look of surprise makes me giggle. “You’re ready?”
I push up on my toes and kiss him quickly. “I’m ready, baby.”
13
Zane
I just about come when she tells me she’s ready. I waste no time, lifting her up and laying her down on the bed. I grab her panties and rip them in half, tossing the pieces onto the floor. She lets her legs drop open. I move between her legs, pushing them wider. My eyes are fixed on her wet pussy, that is begging to be touched. It’s been so long I feel like this can’t be fucking real. I refuse to waste any more time and I bu
ry my face in her pussy. She’s moaning and squirming under me, making it that much more intense. When I lick her, I groan with pleasure. She tastes even better than I remember. I lose control. I’m licking, biting, and sucking on her. I’m a starved man and she is my meal to feast on. I bite down on her clit and she rubs herself against my face. Fuck it’s hot.
“Oh Zane,” she moans.
This isn’t going to last long, I know that. But I don’t fucking care. I’m going to show her how perfect she is and make her feel the pleasure she’s been denying us both. I slam two fingers into her tight heat as my mouth continues to suck on her. She’s crying out in pleasure, her hands on my head holding me in place. I moan against her and she begins to fuck my fingers. The faster I move them, the faster she moves. I peek up and see her pinching her nipples through her bra. Her head is over to the side, pure ecstasy on her face. Her back is arching as she continues to fuck my fingers. She’s close, I can feel it, so I suck on her clit and curl my fingers inside her.
“Fuck,” she screams.
I bite her bundle this time and she shouts as her orgasm takes over. I remove my fingers, sucking them clean as I climb up her body. I kick off my boxers as I stare down at her gorgeous face.
“You taste so fucking good,” I say, crashing my lips to her. She greedily kisses me back, tasting herself. I break the kiss and smile down at her as I drag my dick through her wetness. Her eyes are half closed as she’s still feeling the effects of her orgasm. “I want to worship your tits. Lick them, suck them, bite them. I’m gonna take off your bra, alright?”
She nods as she drags her teeth on her bottom lip. I reach behind her and remove her bra, dropping it off the bed. Her scar looks so good since I last was allowed to see it. It’s healed perfectly, just still pink. She grabs my forearms and I look at her.
“Don’t make this about the scar,” she pleads.
I bite down on her breast and she moans. “This has nothing to do with your scar. This is me memorizing every detail of you to memory. You’re incredible, babe.”
I don’t say anything else. I worship her tits like I said I would. Her nipples are hard and as I bite one, I pinch the other. She moans under me and I lose it when she lifts her hips, wanting me inside of her. I don’t make her wait; I pull back and slam my cock in her greedy pussy.
“Fuck,” I groan, my head dropping back. It’s fucking heaven. Her tightness holds me in place while I gain control of my body.
It’s not slow and sweet, that’s what we did last time. No, this is hard and fast. Exactly how I need it. I am pounding her pussy, showing her, it belongs to me. I grab her tits, squeezing and twisting her nipples between my fingers. My body is in desperate need. All the fear, all the anger, all the frustration leaving my body every time I slam into her. Her eyes are closed, so I release her tits and grab ahold of her hair.
“Look at me,” I demand. She complies, her heated eyes hitting mine. “You are mine, Harper. You will always be mine.”
“I’m yours, Zane. All yours,” she breathes out.
“No more hiding this sexy body from me. I need to fuck your tight pussy, suck on your tits, and kiss your scar,” I groan out. My balls are tightening, and I know I can’t hold back much longer.
“No more hiding, I promise,” she moans, her nails scrapping my back. “I’m so close.”
I tighten my grip in her hair, keeping her eyes on me as my dick is buried deep inside her. “I feel you, babe. Come for me, I want to feel it all,” I hiss.
I move one hand out of her hair and reach down to rub her clit. She explodes almost immediately, screaming my name. It’s.Fucking.Everything.
I’m not far behind. I pump into her a few more times and groan as my orgasm starts. It rips me in half as I come. All the anger I’ve been carrying leaves my body as my release does. My head is back as I shake with aftershocks, moaning her name. It’s the closest I’ll ever get to heaven. Right here in this moment with Harper.
I kiss her deeply, showing her how much this means to me. When I break the kiss, I move down and kiss her scar. I lift my eyes to her and kiss it again. “I love you, Harper.”
“I love you, too, Zane. So damn much.”
It takes a while to recover, but now that we have, we are laying wrapped around each other. I’m still in a euphoric state. That’s the longest I’ve gone without sex since I first had it. I haven’t felt this relaxed in months. I lazily run my fingers up and down Harper’s arm, thinking of nothing but this moment.
“Z, I’m gonna help you figure everything out,” she whispers. She rests her chin on my chest and looks up at me. “I’ll get the proof you need.”
I lean forward and kiss her nose. “I don’t want you mixed up in this. I’ll handle it, but thank you for the offer.”
There’s too much on the line. If anyone knew I told her about my suspicions of Brooks or that he killed Thomas, they’d have no problem putting a bullet in me. Right now, I need to make shit right with Brooks and Enzo. They were pissed at family dinner. Both said if I couldn’t get my anger under control that I would be facing a vote on being out until I can get myself together. I refuse to give them that opportunity. I need to remember this feeling, right now, every time I want to rip his fucking head off. I’ll play the part to get the answers I need.
“What’s the plan now?” Harper asks, pulling me out of my thoughts.
I sit up and she follows, leaning against the black wooden headboard. I light a cigarette, watching the smoke circle around us. “Now I need to go talk to Brooks and Enzo. Play nice with them,” I say, smiling at her.
“I know it’s not easy, but you need to. I have confidence in you.” She pulls the blanket up, almost to the neck. I’m not sure she even realizes she’s doing it, because she is smiling at me.
I reach over and pull the blanket back down. “Stop hiding,” I say.
She lets out a sigh, shaking her head. “It’s gonna take a minute to get used to it,” she explains.
I tuck her hair behind her ear, pressing a soft kiss below it. “I was just inside you, babe. Get used to it a little faster.”
She laughs as she grabs her phone that just alerted a text. “Shit,” she mumbles.
“What?” I ask, putting my cigarette out.
“Ivy said Kace told her they are leaving because he needs to talk to you.” She peeks at me, gauging my reaction.
I grab her and pin her down on the bed, climbing on top of her. My lips crash onto hers and she immediately opens for me. The minute our tongues touch, I lose control. Her fingers grab onto the back of my neck, and I swallow the moan she lets out.
She breaks the kiss, searching my eyes. “They’re gonna be here soon,” she says, laughing.
I push my hard cock against her already wet pussy and grin. “We’ll need to be fast then, huh?”
“So, that’s it? You’re just gonna go in there and apologize?” Kace asks, again.
I finish off my beer, tossing it into the trash. “Yep. I’m gonna play by their rules.”
He looks at me and glances out into the living room at the girls and then back at me. He starts laughing and leans back in the chair. “You had sex,” he yells, pointing at me.
I laugh and lift my eyebrow. “Twice.”
“Thank fuck,” he mumbles. “Maybe you really will keep your head level now.”
“Fuck you,” I say, laughing. It suddenly stops when I think of apologizing to them. “I wasn’t wrong. I’ll never say I was. I know Brooks is up to something dirty, but I’m not going to let them question me. We’ll get Dom and Kingsley and the truth will come out. I’m going to practice patience.”
“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you, brother. Let this shit play out,” he says, standing. “You ready to go?”
I look over at Harper laughing with Ivy and smile. “No, but let's go anyway.” Before we leave, I grab Harper off the couch and kiss her. The urge to take her back into my bed is overwhelming, but I need to handle my business first. When I pull back
, her heated eyes say she’s thinking the same thing. “When I get home, I’m gonna make you scream my name,” I whisper, giving her one last quick kiss.
When Kace and I get to Souls, I tell him to wait. I go into the back where Brooks and Enzo are waiting for me. It’s ridiculous they are taking it to this extreme, but once I get the proof I need, Enzo better fucking apologize to me.
I push the door open and find them sitting at the table. I decide sitting down will probably give the impression I’m not on the defensive. Pulling out my chair, I sit and fold my hands on the table. “I’m sorry,” I say, looking at them both.
Brooks leans back in his chair and narrows his eyes at me. “That’s it?”
He’s purposely trying to get a reaction out of me, and I refuse to give it to him. “Listen, I know I’ve been out of line. I’m apologizing for it, which isn’t something easy for me to do. You are the president of this club and I will respect that. I let the situation with Harper get the best of me and took out my anger on everyone else. It won’t happen again.”
I will never say I was wrong because I wasn’t. He’s lucky I haven’t beaten the shit out of him for putting us in the situation to begin with. He stole the drugs which is why Kingsley allowed that strip club and why the Vegas Kings attacked our innocents. He started this war, not me. He wants this entire club to believe it’s because of me and Harper, but the wheels were already in motion before we got together. Once I have the answers, I’ll expose his lies and we’ll decide what needs to be done.
“You really need to get yourself under control, Z,” Enzo says.
I hold my hands up, showing I’ve given up. “You have my word.” I look between them. “Both of you do.”
They look at each other. Enzo nods and Brooks sighs with frustration. My uncle wants me as far away from all of this as possible. Too bad for him, I’ll never give in to his demands.
Redemption (Shattered Souls MC Book 2) Page 10
