Mr Darcy's Kiss

by Lari Ann O'Dell

  If Georgiana Darcy noticed her brother’s odd behavior she said nothing to him. After all, the brother she knew never dwelled on sorrow, and she assumed that he was simply exhausted from the constant business affairs he had to take care of in town. It would be several days until Georgiana would truly begin to worry.

  ***

  One day, while her brother was meeting with his London solicitor, Georgiana was sitting with her companion Mrs. Annesley. She had been in London for nearly a week, and while her brother did make time for her, he never quite seemed like himself. Initially she had reasoned that his business was overwhelming him, but William always handled his business affairs with the greatest efficiency. No. It must be something else.

  “Mrs. Annesley,” said Georgiana from her place at the pianoforte, “have you noticed that William has not been himself lately?”

  Mrs. Annesley had indeed noticed, but it was not her place to inquire if anything was the matter. However, she could tell that Miss Darcy was very concerned, and to admit it, she was concerned as well. Mr. Darcy always treated his staff with the utmost respect and kindness, but lately she had witnessed him being short with both the housekeeper and Mr. Taylor. The other members of the staff had noticed as well, and gossip had been circulating throughout the house that a woman was the cause of Mr. Darcy’s sudden change in mood. Naturally, all gossip was discretely shared, and it did not affect any of the staff’s desire to carry out their master’s orders with supreme efficiency, but it did remain a source of concern and all who were employed at Darcy House hoped that their master’s spirits would lift soon.

  “Forgive me for saying so, Miss Darcy, but indeed I have, and it is concerning.”

  Georgiana relaxed slightly, relieved to hear that she was not the only one who was concerned. “I am worried. Of course, William has been nothing but kind. He always makes time for me, and he never says anything in reference to his unhappiness, but he is not the same as when I saw him last. He shuts himself in his study at night, and I suspect that he does not even sleep in his room anymore.”

  “Have you told him of your concern?” asked the older woman.

  “Of course not. I doubt that William would confide in me. I hoped that he would cheer up now that he is not alone in the house, but if anything, he is more melancholy then ever. I do not understand it.”

  “Have you any suspicions as to why he might be unhappy?”

  “May I confess something to you, Mrs. Annesley?” asked Georgiana, timidly, suddenly recalling her discovery the previous night.

  “I can assure you of my silence, Miss Darcy,” promised Mrs. Annesley.

  “I was awake late last night, and as I went down to the kitchen to make a request for some warm milk, I passed William’s study. I heard a murmured noise from within. My curiosity got the best of me and I opened the door to investigate. Oh it was awful! William did not notice me. He was slumped in a chair by the fire, with his face in his hands. I suspected that he had been crying. I have never seen him cry before. I intended to leave him undisturbed, but then I heard him muttering something under his breath. I lingered in hopes of hearing what he was saying, and he was repeating the name ‘Elizabeth’ over and over again. I left him alone then and hurried to my room praying that my presence had not been noticed. William left early this morning, and I hope he will not mention it when I see him later today. I am afraid that he might and that he will be angry with me.”

  The revelation was strange, but not unexpected. While Mrs. Annesley had not figured Mr. Darcy to be the type who would ever be disappointed in love, it did make a great deal of sense. She expressed this to Miss Darcy in the most direct way she could. “If that is really what you heard, Miss Darcy, and I do not doubt your honesty, then I would venture to guess that Mr. Darcy is heartbroken and is suffering because of it.”

  Georgiana nodded. “I never would have thought that William’s happiness could be so affected by a woman. Not only that, but what woman of his acquaintance would refuse him? It makes no sense. He is the best man in the world. “

  “Mr. Darcy is the best of men, and I am sure with time, his sorrow will fade.”

  “I am not so sure,” said Georgiana with overt concern, “William never lets go of anyone he comes to care for.”

  “Only time will tell, Miss Darcy. Now let us hear that Mozart concerto that you have been practicing.”

  ***

  Elizabeth decided against confiding in her aunt. She could not confess part of the story without confessing the whole. She did tell Jane about her discovery of Mr. Wickham’s true character, saying only that she had been terribly wrong to trust Mr. Wickham. She did not have the heart to tell Jane what she had learned about Mr. Bingley. It would only increase her tribulation.

  The girls sat together on the first night of Elizabeth’s stay at Gracechurch Street. After a long carriage ride, she had finally determined what she would tell Jane about her time in Kent.

  Jane immediately took her sister’s hand. “Lizzy, pray tell me what has been bothering you. You do not seem yourself.”

  And so, Elizabeth proceeded to tell her sister an edited version of her encounters with Mr. Darcy in Kent, including the contents of his letter.

  Jane was all that was sympathetic. She expressed her concerns for her most beloved sister and the events in Kent. However, when Elizabeth told her about Mr. Darcy’s proposal she could not help but say, “Oh Lizzy, to think that he has been in love with you all these months. The poor man must have been devastated when you refused him, and to think that Mr. Wickham betrayed him so recently. I would not have believed him capable of such treacherous behavior! Oh, Lizzy what must you be thinking?”

  “I hardly know,” admitted Elizabeth. “I recognize that I was foolish to trust one over the other when I knew so little about each of them. I realize now that Mr. Darcy is not capable of such offensive acts, but I still cannot find much to like or respect in him. As for Mr. Wickham, I am glad that the militia will depart soon. I have no desire to continue an acquaintance with that despicable man.”

  “Should we inform others of what we have learned?”

  “I do not think so. He will be gone soon and it will no longer matter. In any case, I do not have Mr. Darcy’s permission to reveal the history between them. I do not wish to upset him more than I already have.”

  Jane took on a serious tone. “Do you regret refusing him, Lizzy?”

  “No,” she said, “but I was intemperate in my refusal. Although he knows that I believe his account of Mr. Wickham’s actions, he is well aware that I am highly opposed to any sort of future with him. In hindsight, I wish I had been more considerate in my refusal, but the past cannot be changed. I only hope that I shall never see him again. I do not know how I could ever face him.”

  “I see no reason why Mr. Darcy would ever return to Hertfordshire, but I cannot help but feel sorry for him. The poor man must be heartbroken.”

  “Jane you are too good,” said Elizabeth, with a smile. “I highly doubt that Mr. Darcy deserves your sympathy or that he is still mending a broken heart.”

  “None the less, he has it. It is an unpleasant feeling to be disappointed in love.”

  Elizabeth suddenly felt guilty. “I am sorry, Jane. I did not mean to say anything that would upset you.”

  “Of course you did not. I have accepted the fact that Mr. Bingley and I have no future. I am quite determined to move on.”

  Elizabeth smiled sadly. “Oh Jane, you truly are too good for the rest of us.”

  ***

  Darcy was in a wretched state. His mood had not improved and as he saw it, he would most likely never be truly content for the remainder of his life. In the two weeks since his disastrous proposal, Elizabeth had been with him every single night, and nearly every minute during the day. No matter how much he buried himself in his work and exhausted his energy at the fencing academy, he could never forget Elizabeth for longer than a few hours. It was torture. Spending time with Georgiana cheered him consi
derably, but it never lasted for long. He could not wait to return to Pemberley, but it would be another few weeks before he would be able to do so. He spent his nights locked away in his study, with only alcohol to ease his torment. He normally was not one to overindulge, and he knew that drowning his sorrows was not a good way of dealing with them, so he decided that day to instruct Mr. Taylor to keep the liquor cabinet locked at all times. Darcy would not allow his depression to lead to developing a disgusting habit.

  Georgiana observed her brother’s strange behavior with increasing alarm. One day at breakfast, she said, “William, is there anything troubling you?”

  Darcy acted as if he had not heard her, staring unseeingly at his plate, so she repeated the question. He seemed to snap out of his trance, “Forgive me, dear sister,” he said, “nothing is troubling me. I simply did not get enough sleep.”

  Georgiana recognized her brother’s words as a diversion, but lacked the courage to try and get him to confide in her.

  After a week of observations she had determined that some course of action needed to be taken. If she could not help William then perhaps their cousin could. So one night she penned a short letter to Colonel Fitzwilliam.

  My Dearest Cousin,

  I am concerned about William as he is in a spiritless state. He has been terribly upset since your return from Rosings. One evening I stumbled upon him in his study murmuring the name ‘Elizabeth’ over and over again. Of course, I have not told him about my discovery. I am certain that he must be heartbroken, but I lack the courage to question him about it. My wish is for William’s happiness and if you believe there is anything you can do to ease his sorrow, it would be greatly appreciated. You need not reply to this missive, just please return to Darcy House as soon as possible. I hope you are well and I hope I shall see you soon.

  Yours,

  Georgiana Darcy

  She sealed the letter and asked Mr. Taylor to send it in the post the following day, without informing Mr. Darcy that he was doing so. If Mr. Taylor was surprised at Miss Darcy’s request, he gave no indication of it, for his concern for the master was also growing.

  ***

  When Colonel Fitzwilliam received Georgiana’s missive he immediately made arrangements with the Major General so that he could return to London. So, Darcy did have feelings for Elizabeth Bennet. Georgiana’s letter was proof enough of this. As usual, Darcy was being a fool and allowing his pride to get in the way of his happiness. It looked as if he would have to step in. He had his suspicions about Darcy’s feelings, especially after his sudden desire to cut their visit short and return to London. The mark on Darcy’s face when he had come out of the parsonage had been alarming to say the least. The conflict must have been severe to result in such an occurrence. Colonel Fitzwilliam had never seen his cousin in love with anyone before, and he never would have guessed that Elizabeth Bennet would be the one to capture his cousin’s heart. Apparently, though, that is exactly what happened. He could not imagine what had passed between them to leave him so desolate. It could only be assumed that Darcy’s depressed state was alarming indeed if Georgiana was concerned enough to summon him to Darcy House. Well, it was time for this nonsense to come to an end.

  The day after receiving Georgiana’s letter, Colonel Fitzwilliam arrived in London. An unsurprised Mr. Taylor answered the door. “Colonel Fitzwilliam, it is a pleasure to see you. Mr. Darcy is in his study. Shall I inform him of your arrival?”

  “Of course, but first I must ask you about a matter of import.”

  “I shall try an assist you in any way I can, sir,” said Mr. Taylor.

  “Miss Darcy informed me that Mr. Darcy has not been himself as of late. Have you or your staff noticed a change in his demeanor?”

  “Truth be told, we all have noticed it. Of course, we would never say anything about it, but it has been a matter of concern. He is short with the staff, and he never has been before. He instructed me to lock the liquor cabinet, for he has been drinking more than usual. He is away from the house as much as possible, and when he is here, he secludes himself in his study and gives orders not to be disturbed. It is quite alarming.”

  “Thank you, Mr. Taylor, I suspected as much. I will see him now.”

  “Very good, sir,” said Mr. Taylor, taking his coat and hat. “I shall inform him of your presence.” He disappeared only to return a few moments later. “Mr. Darcy will see you now. Good luck.”

  Darcy barely looked up when Colonel Fitzwilliam entered his study. “Richard,” he said, “I was not expecting to see you. When did you arrive in town?”

  “Only this morning. I thought I would pay my dear old cousin a visit. I have not heard from you in a while, and I was beginning to worry.”

  “I have been very busy,” said Darcy shortly.

  “I see,” said Richard. “I am told you have been in a rather black humor as of late.”

  Darcy narrowed his eyes, sensing what was coming. “Who told you that?”

  “Georgiana,” said Richard, stating the obvious.

  Darcy waved his hand dismissively. “Georgiana worries too much. I have just been occupied with business affairs.”

  “Darcy, do you take me for a fool,” asked Colonel Fitzwilliam seriously.

  “Of course not. I take you for an insufferable busybody,” snapped Darcy.

  “Mr. Taylor tells me you lock yourself in your study every night, and that you have instructed him to keep the liquor cabinet secure. What have you to say to that?”

  “I have not become addicted to the bottle if that is what you are implying, Richard.”

  Colonel Fitzwilliam noted that Darcy was paler and thinner than usual. “I did not say that you had. I am merely concerned. You look dreadful Darcy. Have you been getting enough sleep?”

  “I am fine, Richard. There is nothing amiss,” Darcy insisted, not wishing to discuss what he suspected Richard wanted to confront him about.

  Colonel Fitzwilliam, however, was three years Darcy’s senior and knew him better than anyone else. He had grown accustomed to his cousin’s feelings, and what he was seeing confirmed Georgiana’s suspicions that something was amiss, and it no doubt had something to do with Miss Elizabeth Bennet. Colonel Fitzwilliam was currently unaware of what had passed between his cousin and Miss Bennet, but he was not undiscerning. Upon recollection, he had noticed the way Darcy observed Miss Bennet, and he noted how there was a spark in his eye when she was mentioned or if they were speaking of her. Georgiana’s confession had confirmed his suspicion that Darcy had developed tender feelings for her, and upon seeing him he began to suspect that she had somehow rejected him. “Darcy, you cannot hide the truth from me. I am not a complete fool. I know that the source of your black humor must have something to do with Miss Bennet.”

  Darcy glowered at his cousin. “Miss Bennet cannot inspire any unhappiness where I am concerned.”

  Colonel Fitzwilliam frowned. “Nonsense. I recognize that you do not wish to speak of Miss Bennet, cousin, but my curiosity must be satisfied! At Rosings you were as happy as I have ever seen you. Then you suddenly came to me with a desire to leave Rosings immediately. I know you spoke with Miss Bennet when I was waiting in the carriage, resulting in your wish to get to London as fast as possible. I can only assume that what was said has changed your mood completely. You are causing your sister extreme alarm, and now I too, am concerned. I must know what passed between you and Miss Bennet.”

  “Richard,” Darcy groaned, “I do not want to talk about Miss Bennet. There is nothing between us. There never has been and there will never be.” Darcy returned to haphazardly shuffling through the papers on his desk.

  Colonel Fitzwilliam raised an eyebrow as his suspicion was confirmed. Darcy was in denial and stubbornly avoiding revealing his true emotions. The Colonel was used to working to get his cousin to confide in him. He could confide in so few, and obviously his feelings for Miss Bennet, whatever they were, were overwhelming him “I know you too well, Darcy. You always shuffle and
reorganize your papers when you want to avoid discussing something. As if you need to, your papers are kept in perfect order at all times. Now stop this foolishness and I will send for some port. If you satisfy my curiosity then I shall do my best to assist you in mending the damage in any way I can.”

  Darcy glowered at his cousin, but knew that Richard could be almost as stubborn as he could be when he wanted to. “Very well Richard, but only if you promise that you will never ask me about it again!”

  “We shall see,” replied Richard jovially as he sent for some port.

  The two men were settled by the fireplace in Darcy’s study, glasses in hand. Richard looked over the top of his glass at his cousin. “So, Darcy, tell me. What do you think of Miss Elizabeth Bennet?”

  Darcy looked away, wishing he had not agreed to this conversation. “She is just an acquaintance, if even that,” he said shortly, knowing well that Elizabeth probably hated him.

  Colonel Fitzwilliam harrumphed. “Nonsense. A mere acquaintance could not affect your mood so severely. Others may not have noticed but I saw the way you looked at her. In fact, I was beginning to suspect that you might be interested in her, especially after our hasty departure. I did not press the matter because I did not realize how deep your affection was.”

  “Your insight is remarkable,” said Darcy sarcastically.

  “I see,” said Richard, “now why, if you have feelings for her, did you leave her so suddenly.”

  “I do not have simple feelings for her, Richard. I love her,” said Darcy with an edge in his voice, having great difficulties making the admission that had already caused him significant pain.