“Elizabeth,” he whispered, “can you consider it something to make up for past injury to my face and my pride? I will not take it as a promise of any sort.”
Elizabeth laughed at the silliness of his petition. “You wish for me to repay you for my actions by doing the very thing that caused me to strike you? You realize, sir, that it is quite an illogical request.”
“I realize the unusualness of such a request, Miss Bennet, but you are leaving my side tomorrow, and if I should not see you for some time, I would wish for something to remember you by.”
Elizabeth flushed deeper. “I do not know.” However, she could not deny that she had a strange desire to allow him to kiss her once more. He was far too close to her. It was disorienting. “Very well, sir,” said Elizabeth, “but only if you are quick about it. After all, I do regret my past intemperate behavior.”
Darcy smiled as he cupped Elizabeth’s chin in his hand, taking delight in the warmth of her skin against his. He could feel Elizabeth’s hesitation, but he reminded himself that she had agreed to this kiss. As soon as their lips met, all thoughts and concerns were instantly wiped from his mind. The feeling of her lips against his was intoxicating. His free hand stole around her waist and pulled her closer to him.
Elizabeth leaned into his chest, and wrapped her arms around his neck, forgetting the fact that her aunt, or even worse, her uncle, could walk in at any time. She allowed herself to bask in the pleasure of his kiss. Their mutual bliss however was brief, when as Elizabeth had feared, their time alone was interrupted.
Mr. Gardiner had returned to the house only moments ago, to be informed that Mr. Darcy was here visiting his niece. He was surprised by this revelation, but covered it well. He expected the couple to be well chaperoned, but when he caught a glimpse of Jane with his eldest daughter and saw his wife with their boys he was instantly concerned. He immediately went over to Mrs. Gardiner and demanded to know where Lizzy and Mr. Darcy were. “Edward,” said Mrs. Gardiner, “you need have no worries. They are in the sitting room with the door open. I am certain that nothing improper has taken place.”
“Come, my dear,” said Mr. Gardiner gruffly.
They arrived only to see Mr. Darcy and their niece pulling apart quickly. Mr. Gardiner coughed loudly, and Elizabeth looked over with an alarmed and embarrassed expression on her face. Darcy was looking at the floor, color rising in his cheeks.
“Mr. Darcy, I presume,” said Mr. Gardiner sharply.
Darcy stood up immediately and went over to Mr. Gardiner, “It is a pleasure to meet you, sir,” said Darcy, with a note of panic in his voice, knowing that he was about to receive a severe tongue-lashing.
Mr. Gardiner then turned to his wife and the two exchanged a hushed conversation. At the short discussion’s end, Mr. Gardiner turned to Darcy and said, “Might I have a word with you?”
“Of course, sir,” said Darcy, immediately following Mr. Gardiner to his study, leaving Elizabeth alone, and abashed, with her aunt.
***
“So, Mr. Darcy, I must ask you what your intentions are towards my niece.”
Darcy had expected such a question, and he maintained his composure and said in an even tone, “My intentions toward Elizabeth are completely honorable.”
“My wife has a deeper understanding of your history with my niece,” said Mr. Gardiner, “I was hoping you would enlighten me on the subject.”
As Elizabeth had already told Mrs. Gardiner the whole of their history, Darcy saw no harm in providing Mr. Gardiner with an understanding of the subject, and thus he proceeded to do so in clear detail. Mr. Gardiner maintained a neutral expression throughout the whole and at its end, said, “Well, Mr. Darcy, I can see that you have suffered much since Kent. It comes as a surprise to me that you and my niece have a history, but let me make it perfectly clear that I will not allow such violations of propriety to take place under my roof. Do you and Lizzy wish for an immediate engagement?”
Darcy smiled bitterly. “Elizabeth has only just agreed to get to know me better. I am not even certain if we shall ever become engaged.”
“It seemed to me that the two of you were quite comfortable with each other in my sitting room,” The look of mortification on Darcy’s face caused Mr. Gardiner to take pity on him and he added, “Well, my boy, let me assure you that my niece is not one to be free with her affections. I suspect that as she permitted you to kiss her, she must have some affection for you.”
“I appreciate your words, sir, but I have misinterpreted Elizabeth so poorly in the past that I do not wish to jump to conclusions.”
Mr. Gardiner studied Darcy closely for a few moments. “Are you capable of patiently waiting for my niece to accept your hand?”
Darcy was startled as he recognized some of Elizabeth’s candor in her uncle. “I love your niece, sir,” he began, “I am willing to wait as long as necessary for her acceptance, for I shall never marry another.”
This comforted Mr. Gardiner, who wanted very much for his niece to be happy. Mr. Darcy seemed like an honorable sort of fellow, if not overwhelmed by his feelings. Mr. Gardiner acknowledged that he was young, and he himself remembered when he was young and in love. As a man equally in love with his wife, he could understand Mr. Darcy’s position. This understanding left him to be generous in his response. “Well, Mr. Darcy, you have reassured me a great deal. I can see that you are very devoted to Lizzy. I shall not alert Mr. Bennet of what I witnessed today, so long as you promise to treat Lizzy with the utmost respect and consideration in the future. “
“Let me assure you, sir, I would never attempt to take advantage of her.”
“Well then, I am sure you would prefer to be in Lizzy’s company rather than mine.”
“Thank you, sir,” said Darcy, standing up and leaving the study.
Elizabeth was once again with her aunt, sister and cousins. Darcy knew he would not have another chance to be alone with Elizabeth. The elder girl, Emily, was sitting beside Elizabeth, while Rose was sitting on her other side. Darcy could not help but feel jealous of the little girls, even though he knew it was a ridiculous sentiment.
Darcy took the seat directly across from Elizabeth, and she glanced at him with a sympathetic expression. He smiled slightly in return.
Darcy was invited for dinner, an invitation he accepted with alacrity.
He was pleased to be seated beside Elizabeth, and without attracting anyone’s attention, slipped his hand under the table and joined hands with her. Throughout the course of the meal, the two held hands, and Darcy lightly caressed her hand from time to time, bringing a rosy color to Elizabeth’s complexion. If the two of them were distracted from the conversation from time to time, neither Mr. nor Mrs. Gardiner saw fit to comment on it. However, Darcy did do his best to make a good impression to the Gardiners, as he knew that Elizabeth highly valued their opinion. Jane, as always, was, as Bingley would have said, an angel. The Gardiner children were pleasant, and even though Darcy had not spent much time with children, other than Georgiana, he had to admit that he quite liked them. When dinner was over, the children were put to bed, and the gentlemen separated from the ladies. Jane and Mrs. Gardiner eagerly questioned Elizabeth about how she was feeling about the progress of the evening with Mr. Darcy, and Elizabeth had to admit that she had been enjoying herself.
Darcy and Mr. Gardiner spent the time getting acquainted over fine brandy, each of them recognizing how strange it was that their first conversation had resembled a discussion between a father and a potential suitor for his daughter.
When the party reconvened in the living room, Elizabeth caught Darcy’s gaze and graciously smiled.
They spent the following hour in pleasant conversation, and when it was time for Darcy to leave, Mrs. Gardiner suggested that Elizabeth show the gentleman out.
Upon this suggestion, Mrs. Gardiner exchanged glances with her husband in a silent conversation. It appeared that Mrs. Gardiner won, and Mr. Gardiner nodded his assent.
“Your
uncle was quite alarmed to discover us together today, Miss Bennet.”
“I should not have let it happen, sir,” said Elizabeth.
“You need not have any regrets. I can be quite persuasive if I so choose.”
“Indeed,” said Elizabeth. “But should you come to Hertfordshire, it should not happen again.”
Darcy frowned slightly and asked, “Is this your humble way of telling me that I will be welcome at Longbourn?”
“I suppose it is, sir, but take it as you will.”
Darcy took Elizabeth’s hand in his. “I shall come to Hertfordshire, Miss Bennet, but only if you wish it.”
Elizabeth appreciated that he was putting the choice in her hands and decided to tell him that she had no objections.
“Then I shall see you soon. Mr. Bingley returns to London in a few days. I shall gladly suggest we journey to Hertfordshire as soon as he arrives. If we are fortunate, we shall arrive in Hertfordshire within the week.”
Elizabeth warmed at the thought of the two of them arriving together, but only said, “You do not need to rush to Hertfordshire on my account, Mr. Darcy. I am not going anywhere”
“I am glad of that, at least,” said Darcy. “Well, good night, Miss Bennet, I hope you have a pleasant and safe journey tomorrow.” Then, he kissed her hand, before turning away, leaving Elizabeth watching him climb into his carriage and disappear down the street. She pondered why she was actually giddy.
***
Darcy could not believe that providence had brought him to Elizabeth once more. Seeing her had made it clear. Colonel Fitzwilliam was right. If he gave up on her now, he would forever be a damned fool who had allowed his pride to stand in the way of his happiness.
He had never been as happy as he had been today. To think that she allowed him to kiss her! It was incredible! Had she really developed affection for him in their brief and painful time apart? Or was it too much to hope that maybe she cared for him all along and was only just realizing it? His heart felt lighter than it had in weeks. In a short time he would be back in her company.
The only circumstance holding him back from visiting Hertfordshire immediately was the fact that Bingley would not return to London for a few days. He now knew, after seeing how subdued Jane was due to Bingley’s absence from her life, that he had to rectify his mistake. As soon as Bingley returned to London he would go to him and tell him the truth about his mistakes and deceptions. Then they could return to Hertfordshire and finally be reunited with the sisters they loved.
With this decision, Darcy retired for the night. Elizabeth appeared in his dreams as usual, but this night, she did not abruptly dissolve.
Four
The Bennet carriage collected Jane and Elizabeth the following morning. As Lydia and Kitty had come along, Jane and Elizabeth had no time to converse privately until they were once again at home. Mr. Bennet expressed his joy to have his sensible daughters home at last, while Mrs. Bennet immediately began to inform them about everything that had happened in the neighborhood during their absence. She finished her pack of gossip with, “And our dear Mr. Wickham is not married to Miss King. Her father took her away to London for the spring. Mr. Wickham is saved!”
“Or rather she is saved from Mr. Wickham,” said Elizabeth under her breath. She was relieved that Mr. Wickham and the rest of the militia would be gone from Hertfordshire the following week. She did not believe she could tolerate seeing Mr. Wickham again and hearing him speak ill of Mr. Darcy.
When Mrs. Bennet asked them if anything of import had occurred during their stay at Gracechurch Street, neither Jane nor Elizabeth mentioned dining with Mr. Darcy, for Elizabeth did not want her mother getting her hopes up for a marriage between them, or even worse, she did not want to hear a rant expressing her displeasure.
It was not until later that night that Elizabeth and Jane had the chance to confer confidentially.
“Lizzy,” said Jane, “you have not been yourself since Mr. Darcy left. What did he say to you when you showed him out last night?
“He asked if he would be welcome at Longbourn,” said Elizabeth softly.
“And did you say he would? Do you wish for a courtship?”
“I did say he would be welcome. I do not know if I want a future with Mr. Darcy, but I could not refuse him. In part, I hope that he does not come at all, but I feel certain that he will.”
“Of course he will, Lizzy,” said Jane, “it is fairly obvious that Mr. Darcy is in love with you.”
“Oh Jane, I wish you would not say that. For if he is and I decide that I cannot accept a future with him, I will only break his heart all over again.”
“Do you care for him, Lizzy,” asked Jane earnestly, “even if it is only a little bit?”
“Perhaps,” admitted Elizabeth. “I allowed him to kiss me again, even though I knew that it might give him false hope.”
“Well, Lizzy, it seems to me that he could make you happy. Perhaps you should keep an open mind.”
“Jane, how am I to be happy with Mr. Darcy when you are so miserable without Mr. Bingley?”
“Mr. Bingley has nothing to do with you and Mr. Darcy. You should not worry about me, Lizzy. I want you to be happy, and if it is Mr. Darcy who will make you happy then I pray things will work themselves out.”
“Jane,” said Elizabeth, wondering if she should tell her that Mr. Bingley might come to Hertfordshire with Mr. Darcy. “Do you think you could ever be happy with anyone other than Bingley?”
Jane looked away for a moment and then finally said, “I will be content, Lizzy, even if I never love another.”
It was these words that made Elizabeth realize that she could not raise her sister’s hopes for she did not know if Mr. Darcy and Mr. Bingley would actually return to Hertfordshire. She would just have to be patient. Only time would tell.
***
“Darcy, are you soon to go to Hertfordshire?” asked the Colonel, sipping a glass of port.
Darcy and the Colonel sat in Darcy’s study, Darcy having told him all about his call at the Gardiner house. “Yes, but I cannot go until Bingley returns. Elizabeth was correct about her sister’s affection for Bingley. I erred greatly when I separated them, and I know now that I must rectify my mistake. I only wish that Bingley was to return tomorrow, but he is not expected until the end of the week.”
“Well, I am glad that all hope is not lost. Georgiana and I hate to see you sulking. It is quite uncomfortable.”
“Sorry to hear that,” said Darcy sardonically, “After all, it is your comfort that I wish for above all else.”
“I am glad of that, for it seems that when the great Darcy is in a black humor then the whole house follows his example,” said the Colonel in jest. Darcy shook his head.
The two spent the night in good companionship, and the Colonel was pleased to know that he had gotten through to his stubborn cousin.
***
Darcy received news that made the following two weeks pass by incredibly slow: Bingley would not return to Hertfordshire until the third week in May, meaning that Darcy would have to wait over a fortnight to return to Elizabeth. With every passing day, Darcy grew worried that Elizabeth would change her mind about giving him another chance.
While he was able to go about his days with his usual normalcy, every time he saw something or did something, he found himself wondering what Elizabeth would think about it. She was in his thoughts more than ever. He had never imagined that being separated from a loved one could be so painful. Now, it was different. Now that he had some kind of hope for a future with her, he was more restless than ever before, despite his new happiness. He rationally knew it was only a matter of time before he was reunited with her, however, in his heart, he could not help thinking that something could happen to separate them, or that Elizabeth would decide against him.
***
Meanwhile, Elizabeth was equally restless. She could not understand her increasing dread that Mr. Darcy would never return to Hertfordshire. Of cour
se, an obvious reason for her dread was that she had developed tender feelings for Darcy, though she could not bring herself to believe that it was possible. Only a month ago, she had every reason to dislike him. She could admit freely to herself that she relished her body’s pleasant physical reaction to his touch but that did not mean she cared for him. Desire was not the same thing as affection. Besides that, he was still a high-handed, and often an ill-tempered, unpleasant sort of man. They had only spent one evening together in which he had behaved otherwise. This, too, was not a basis for affection.
With each day that passed, Elizabeth tried to convince herself to forget about Mr. Darcy. There was no point in thinking about him when the only thing that these thoughts brought was confusion and pain. Still, she could not fully rid herself of that feeling of abandonment as the days passed by. As they did, resentment began to build in her heart He had kissed her not once, but three times, and the third time they had been discovered. She knew that her uncle had confronted Darcy, yet for some reason, he had not chosen to inform her father. She then wondered what had passed between them. Had Darcy told her uncle something that led him to believe that they would one day be married? That was the only sensible explanation of which she could think. Otherwise, her uncle would have taken action, for he was a firm believer in propriety, especially when it came to his elder nieces. If this was the case, then why had he not yet come to Hertfordshire?
It had been two weeks for God’s sake! How much longer would he make her wait? Or would he not come at all? Was he the type of man to take advantage of a woman and then abandon her? She had not imagined this to be so, but every day that did not bring his return, her anxiety and ire increased.
Thus, she was soon able to convince herself that she had no feelings whatsoever for Darcy, and was merely furious with him for taking advantage of her and leaving her.
***
Mr Darcy's Kiss Page 7
