Mr Darcy's Kiss

by Lari Ann O'Dell

  ***

  Darcy joined his guests at the breakfast table. Although he had only left Elizabeth a few hours before he could not believe how much he had missed her. After the events of the previous night, his heart, soul, and body were so intertwined with hers that it was difficult to imagine being without her. Elizabeth looked up as he entered. She was blushing slightly and sitting between her aunt and uncle. As Darcy took his place at the head of the table he wondered what she must have been thinking of him. Did she regret what had passed between them the previous night? Was she ashamed of their intimacy?

  “Mr. Darcy,” said Mr. Gardiner, “Could you stand to abandon the ladies for the day and try your hand at fishing with me? I must confess there are some excellent spots at Pemberley, and I am eager to improve my meager skills.”

  Darcy was unsure if he should be parted from Elizabeth, especially at a time like this. He longed for her reassurances that what had passed between them had not hurt her in any way. His eyes locked with hers, and she met his gaze without hesitation and nodded, as if urging him to accept her uncle’s offer. Darcy hesitated for a moment before agreeing.

  After breakfast, Darcy and Mr. Gardiner prepared for their fishing excursion. Darcy’s thoughts kept returning to Elizabeth and he wondered why she seemed so eager to be rid of him. Perhaps she was ashamed of him. Darcy groaned. He could not bear it if Elizabeth withdrew from him now that she was finally his in every way. He had surrendered himself to her so long ago that his happiness depended almost entirely on her.

  Before he and Mr. Gardiner set off for the day, he requested that he be allowed to speak to Elizabeth privately. He guided her into his study. He left the door ajar but pulled her into his embrace. “Elizabeth, I love you so completely. I do not wish to abandon you. Please, tell me that you are not hurt by what passed between us last night. If you regret it I can never forgive myself for forcing you into something you were not prepared for.”

  Elizabeth shook her head. “William, we were both responsible for what happened last night. Do you think I would have let anything happen that I was not prepared for? True, it was unexpected, but I have surrendered myself to you in every way. I trust you completely. I will admit that I am yearning for some time alone today to contemplate how our relationship has changed.”

  “Nothing has changed, my love,” said Darcy earnestly. “We are to be married, and now we belong to each other completely. We have become one and no one will ever be able to divide us.”

  “Yes, but William, we must not be blind to the consequences of our actions, and I do not believe that I can keep this a secret from my aunt and uncle.”

  “I must inform your uncle about it today. It is the honorable thing to do in any case, as I cannot speak with your father, I will reveal my transgression to him.”

  Elizabeth gave him the barest hint of a smile. “I do not envy you that conversation my love. I will confide in my aunt, even though I shall have to face her disappointment.

  When they separated, Darcy felt more reassured in Elizabeth’s happiness than he had at breakfast, and it was this that would give him the courage to confess the events of the previous night to her uncle.

  ***

  After the gentleman left for their fishing excursion, Elizabeth retreated to her room pleading a headache, leaving Mrs. Gardiner concerned. She had seen the looks exchanged by her niece and Mr. Darcy, and she had noticed the discomfort of both. Initially she wondered if they had quarreled, but upon further observation, she drew the conclusion that it was not a quarrel, but something of a very different nature that had passed between them the previous night. After writing notes to several of her friends in Lambton, Mrs. Gardiner went up to her niece’s room to determine if her suspicions were correct.

  Elizabeth bade her to enter, and upon doing so, she was distressed to find that she had just been crying. “Lizzy, my dear, may I ask why you appear to be so distressed? You were not quite yourself at breakfast and now you have been crying. Did you and Mr. Darcy quarrel?”

  Elizabeth shook her head but said nothing. Then, Mrs. Gardiner took her hand and guided her to the settee in the corner of the room. “Lizzy,” she continued, after putting an arm around her niece, “Is there something that you wish to tell me?”

  Elizabeth was at the brink of tears once more, and she knew she could not possibly hide the truth from her aunt. She could not be angry with Darcy for his actions as she had permitted everything, and she did not resent him for any of it. However, she was heartily ashamed of herself for her wanton behavior and she felt as if she had disgraced her family by her thoughtless actions. She would never forgive herself if word of her indiscretion reached her family and tarnished their already tainted reputation. “Oh Aunt,” said Elizabeth, “I can not conceal the truth from you. Mr. Darcy and I did not quarrel, but something did happen last night. Darcy and I behaved heedlessly last night and we have anticipated our vows. I have never before been so disappointed in myself, and what is worse is that I am completely to blame for it.” At the end of her confession Elizabeth began crying in earnest.

  In an effort to soothe her niece, “My dear, have you told Mr. Darcy this? I am sure he would not wish for you to suffer, nor would he allow you to blame yourself for everything that has passed between you.”

  “He repeatedly has expressed sincere concern for my emotional state,” said Elizabeth, “I did not wish for him to worry. Still, I can not help but wonder if he thinks less of me due to my improper behavior.”

  “Elizabeth you are jumping to the worst possible conclusion. Do you truly have such little faith in Mr. Darcy’s regard for you? He is violently in love with you and I would venture to guess that nothing could ever diminish his deep love and respect for you. As for your actions last night, anyone who has seen the two of you together can not deny the depth of your fondness for one another, and your actions followed the natural progression of your affection for each other.”

  “What must you think of me, Aunt?” asked Elizabeth in a shaky voice.

  “My dear, I think no less of you. While I cannot say that your actions were wise, I only hope for your happiness. I, too remember how it was to be a young girl in love.” Mrs. Gardiner then smiled kindly at her niece and they spent the next hour in heartfelt conversation.

  ***

  Meanwhile, Darcy’s discussion with Mr. Gardiner was destined to be duly unpleasant for both parties. The two men sat on one of the grassy banks at the edge of the lake, and neither had managed to catch a single thing. Darcy was considerably distracted from the sport, and Mr. Gardiner sensed that the young man had something to confess.

  Mr. Gardiner had caught the evident discomfort of his niece at breakfast this morning. He also had seen the concern in Darcy’s eyes as he watched his fiancée. Finally, he could not ignore the feeling that Darcy seemed to wish he were any other place than where he was now. “Darcy, my boy, you seem quite distracted. We have not had a single catch this morning, and while I can credit my lack of success to my feeble angling skills, I can hardly accept that your lack of success is due to want of practice. Is there something troubling you?’

  Darcy turned to him and with a weary look said that he had a confession of an unpleasant nature to make and that in Mr. Bennet’s absence, he must be the one to hear it and decide which course to take.

  Mr. Gardiner’s eyes widened at what Darcy was implying. “Am I to take it, young man, that you and Lizzy have anticipated your wedding vows—that she has been your mistress?”

  Darcy scowled at the appellation. “Elizabeth is my wife now in every way but for the sanction of the church. Now I turn to you for what must be done. I can ride to London and obtain a special license and we can be married within the week if that is what you decide.”

  “You have placed me in a very difficult position, son,” said Mr. Gardiner. “I would not wish to force Lizzy down the aisle, and I know that she would not wish to be married without her family. But I have very little choice in the matter. If there shoul
d be consequences from your actions, her reputation will be ruined, and that could hardly be a good beginning for a marriage.” The remorse in Darcy’s eyes was palpable, garnering a trace of sympathy towards him from Mr. Gardiner, as he knew Darcy’s intentions were honorable despite his foolhardy actions. “Naturally something needs to be done, whether it is removing directly to Hertfordshire for a wedding or a quiet ceremony here in Derbyshire. I shall have to write to my brother-in-law and inform him of the situation and of the necessity for me to act in his stead. He will not take kindly to the news that he will lose Lizzy sooner than he had planned. Still something must be done.”

  Eleven

  The conversation with Mrs. Gardiner had gone a long way in reassuring her. Mrs. Gardiner had taken great care in choosing her words in order to communicate her sincerest belief in Mr. Darcy’s deep regard for her second niece. Not only that but she had done her best to reassure Elizabeth that Mr. Gardiner had a certain sympathy for the situation and would not be overly angered by the revelation that they had anticipated their vows.

  Of course, Mrs. Gardiner pointed out to Elizabeth that certain steps would have to be taken, however, these decisions would have to come from Mr. Gardiner in Mr. Bennet’s stead. Elizabeth knew her uncle well enough to come to the conclusion that she would not bear the name Bennet for much longer, but whether she was more relieved or perturbed she could not decide. She could not imagine what it would be like to awaken each morning without being in his arms. However, she hated having her choices taken away from her. Still, she knew that had she been able to resist temptation they would not be in their current predicament.

  Elizabeth and Mrs. Gardiner were now sitting in one of the smaller parlors in the house when a maid came with two letters for Elizabeth. Elizabeth was happy to see that both were from Jane. “Oh look, Aunt, letters from Jane, but the first was miss-sent, which is not a great surprise for she has written the direction very ill indeed!”

  Elizabeth opened the miss-sent letter first, as it had been written five days before. The first half contained a description of the latest goings on in Meryton, and various details about the wedding preparations. However, it was the latter half that was most alarming.

  Since writing the above, dearest Lizzy, something has occurred of a most unexpected and seriousness nature; but I am afraid of alarming you—be assured that we are all well. What I have to say relates to poor Lydia. An express came at twelve last night, just as we were all gone off to bed, from Colonel Forster, to inform us that she was gone off to Scotland, with one of his officers; to own the truth, with Wickham! Imagine our surprise. To Kitty, however, it does not seem so wholly unexpected. I am very, very sorry. So imprudent a match on both sides! But I am willing to hope the best; and that his character has been misunderstood. Thoughtless and indiscreet I can easily believe him, but this step (and let us rejoice over it) marks nothing bad at heart. His choice is disinterested at least, for he must know that my father can give him nothing. Our poor mother is sadly grieved. My father bears it better. How thankful am I that we never let them know what has been said about him; we must forget it ourselves. They were off Saturday night about twelve, as is conjectured, but were not missed till yesterday morning at eight. The express was sent off directly. My dear Lizzy, they must have passed within ten miles of us. Colonel Forster gives us reason to expect him here soon. Lydia left a few lines for his wife, informing her of their intention. I must conclude, for I cannot be long from my poor mother. I am afraid you will not be able to make it out, but I hardly know what I have written.

  Elizabeth was horrified. Upon finishing the letter she seized the next one praying that her worst assumptions would be proven false. It was not to be. The second letter was dated a day later than the first.

  By this time, my dearest sister, you have received my hurried letter; I wish this may be more intelligible, but though not confined for time, my head is so bewildered that I cannot answer for being coherent. Mr. Bingley called yesterday evening, and I had to reveal all to him. He was with us when Colonel Forster arrived. His comfort and support has been remarkable, and I do not know where I would be without it. Dearest Lizzy, I have bad news for you, and it cannot be delayed. Imprudent as a marriage between Mr. Wickham and our poor Lydia would be, we are now anxious to be assured that it has taken place, for there is but too much reason to fear they are not gone to Scotland. Colonel Forster came yesterday, having left Brighton the day before, not many hours after the express. Though Lydia’s short letter to Mrs. F. gave them to understand that they were going to Gretna Green, something was dropped by Denny expressing his belief that W. never intended to go there, or to marry Lydia at all, which was repeated to Colonel F., who, instantly taking the alarm, set off from B., intending to trace their route. He did trace them easily to Clapham, but no further; for on entering that place, they removed into a hackney-coach, and dismissed the chaise that brought them from Epsom. All that is known after that is, that they were seen to continue to the London road.

  Oh Lizzy, we are all in distress here. Mr. Bingley has been all that is kind and supportive, if not for him, I do not know how I would bear it. Mama has locked herself in her room. Poor Miss Darcy has been in shock ever since we received the letter. I cannot imagine what she must be feeling without you or Mr. Darcy here to comfort her. Kitty and Mary have tried their best. Father is in a wretched state, and when I tried to speak with him, he only murmured something about how he should have listened to your advice to forbid Lydia from going to Brighton. I cannot pretend to understand the depth of his guilt. I am thankful, though, that our family does not know the awful truth of Wickham’s character. I am glad, Lizzy, that you have been spared something of these distressing scenes. However, I must admit that I wish you were here with me, and I cannot help but beg for you and our aunt and uncle to return. Father and Mr. Bingley plan to go to London, to aid Colonel Forster in his attempts to discover Lydia. I know that our uncle’s advice and assistance will be everything in the world. I know not how you shall break the news to Mr. Darcy, due to his painful history with Wickham, but perhaps he, too, may be able to assist in the attempts to discover them. I pray that I will see you soon, but I must conclude.

  Elizabeth could hardly believe this terrible news, and she could only imagine how Mr. Darcy would react to it once he was told. Her heart went out to poor Georgiana.

  “Lizzy, dear, whatever is the matter?” asked Mrs. Gardiner, upon noticing her niece’s pallor.

  “The letters from Jane contained dreadful news. Lydia has run away with Mr. Wickham, and they are not yet married. I fear that they will not marry. I know too much of Mr. Wickham to believe it possible. Jane wrote to beg us to return to Hertfordshire, and for Uncle’s assistance in London.”

  “Then we must send for him. What shall you tell Mr. Darcy?”

  “The truth, of course. I know I must, and I know that he shall not take kindly to the news.” Elizabeth looked away, unwilling to confess the worst of her fears.

  Mrs. Gardiner cast a worried glance at her niece, deducing what was on her mind. “Lizzy, I shall find someone to go fetch Mr. Darcy and your uncle. I will return in a moment and we can talk. I am sure you have nothing to fear from Mr. Darcy.”

  Elizabeth was weak with apprehension. Upon her quick return, Mrs. Gardiner sat beside her on the bed, and gathered her niece into her arms. For several moments, Elizabeth said nothing, until she could hold back no longer. “Oh aunt, I am certain that Mr. Darcy will not wish to marry me. How could he? Even if Lydia could be made to marry Mr. Wickham, Mr. Darcy could not accept having him as a brother-in-law. It is surely intolerable.”

  “Lizzy,” said Mrs. Gardiner, “I understand your worry, but surely you cannot believe that Mr. Darcy would abandon you. He clearly loves you very much.”

  “I do realize that he loves me, but even if he was willing to put up with having Mr. Wickham as a relation, if he somehow was made to marry Lydia, Georgiana could not. The shame and scandal of this affair will su
rely ruin her chances to make a good match, and Mr. Darcy would not make such a sacrifice to marry a woman from a ruined family, even at risk of his own reputation. I have trapped him into disgracing himself!”

  “Lizzy, I believe you should speak with Mr. Darcy about this before you jump to the worst possible conclusions.” Mrs. Gardiner spent the next few moments trying to console her niece, and eventually, Elizabeth’s tears ceased.

  ***

  Darcy and Mr. Gardiner were alarmed when one of the servants from Pemberley House came to request their immediate return. As they entered the house they were informed that the ladies were in one of the smaller parlors.

  As soon as they entered, Darcy’s gaze went straight to Elizabeth. He could tell instantly that something was amiss. It looked as if she had been crying. Mrs. Gardiner was pale, and neither of the ladies said anything for a long moment.

  Mrs. Gardiner, knowing that Elizabeth wished to speak with Darcy privately convinced her husband to leave the room with her.

  Once they were alone, Darcy took a seat beside Elizabeth. He sensed that he was about to receive awful news, but Elizabeth refused to speak, or even look at him. After a few moments of tense silence, Darcy took Elizabeth’s hand in his; concern was etched in every feature. “Dearest Elizabeth, what is the matter?”

  Elizabeth hesitated before revealing the cause of her distress. She prayed that the revelation would not make Darcy change his mind about their marriage. “My youngest sister has left all her friends—has eloped; has thrown herself into the power of — of Mr. Wickham. They are gone off together from Brighton. You know him too well to doubt the rest. She has no money, no connections, nothing that can tempt him to—she is lost for ever.”

  A dark cloud of fury crossed Darcy’s brow at the story of Wickham’s latest scheme. Why was it that Wickham had to interfere at the worst possible moment? He knew that Elizabeth was already distressed from the events of the previous night, whatever she might have said otherwise, and now to further compound her distress, Lydia had been taken in by the most despicable man in all of England. “I am grieved, indeed,” cried Darcy, “grieved—shocked, but is it certain, absolutely certain?”