Jax

by Lori Foster

He probably should. Few women would want to get involved with his current situation. It’d be best if he elaborated, if she understood just how crazy things were right now, but he didn’t have that kind of time. Already he was off schedule.

  To the point, then. “My folks were killed in a car crash in January.” Saying it out loud made it hurt all over again. He looked away, unwilling to let her see his turbulent emotion. “My brother is only nineteen, my sister sixteen, and I’ve got my hands full trying to pick up the pieces.”

  Several beats of silence passed...and then her arms came around him and she rested her cheek against his chest. “I’m so sorry, Jax.”

  What the hell? She didn’t clutch at him as she had on the dock. No, this embrace was all about comfort, and it put a lump the size of a melon in his throat. He couldn’t speak, could barely swallow.

  Awkwardly he patted her shoulder. If he hugged her back, he just might lose it. He had to clear his throat twice before he could say, “Thanks.”

  “If there’s anything I can do...” She hugged him a little tighter. “Please let me know, okay?”

  “We’re managing.” Just barely. He took her shoulders in his hands and eased her away. “I need to get to back work now.”

  She took that like a direct slap, wincing. “I’m so sorry. I’ve put you behind, haven’t I?”

  “I didn’t mean...” Damn it. To keep from reaching for her again, he lifted the thermos. “This was a nice gesture. Unnecessary, but I still appreciate it.”

  Distracted, she nodded and retrieved her own cup again, dumping the rest of the coffee into the grass. “I’ll let you get to it.”

  “It’s not you,” he promised when she would have turned away.

  Her smile had lost its wattage, looking like a failed attempt. “I understand.”

  “It’s just that my life is a mess. I barely have time to breathe, much less to date.” The stupid words started pouring out against his will. “Owen’s trying to be a grown-ass man, and Ella has decided she can do whatever she wants. They’re terrific, they really are, but they’re in turmoil right now.”

  “You’ve got your hands full for sure.” Another wimpy smile. “I meant what I said. If I can do anything, anything at all, please let me know. Otherwise, I promise, I won’t bug you anymore.”

  Well, damn. It’s what he’d wanted, so why did it feel like a kick in the teeth?

  She paused once again. “Even if you just want to talk, okay? Feel free to reach out anytime.”

  And with that amazing offer, she walked away, across her parents’ lawn and silently into their house.

  Jax feared he’d just made a monumental mistake.

  CHAPTER THREE

  BRIANA WATCHED JAX from across the room of the crowded barn party. Two more weeks had passed, and other than running into him in town, which she absolutely had not orchestrated, she hadn’t seen him.

  Grocery shopping didn’t count. Five minutes chatting in an aisle with nosy shoppers all around didn’t amount to much.

  Same at the bank. She’d had Amber with her then, and right away her cousin had started matchmaking. It wasn’t until later that night when Briana set Amber straight that her cousin had finally given up. Like Briana, she felt terrible for Jax.

  She’d run into him at a department store, too, but he’d been in a rush so she hadn’t lingered. Another time at the hardware store.

  Those impromptu chats had tided her over, but they hadn’t come close to being enough, not when she knew what it was like to kiss him.

  If the man was suffering, he hid it well. Other than that brief moment at the back of his garbage truck when he’d first explained his newfound responsibilities, he’d never shown any emotion at all. Well, not of the grieving or mournful type. Other emotions, like annoyance, impatience—and lust. Yup, she’d seen those.

  The last was her favorite.

  She’d been doing her best not to moon over him, resisting the urge to go check on him, to find a way to assist, and suddenly, here he was. At a barn dance.

  My, my, my. Perhaps he’d found time to date after all; it just wasn’t with her.

  For several minutes she watched him moving in and out of eyeshot, until finally he glanced up—and their gazes locked. For a single second, he looked happy to see her, but he quickly masked it and gave her a slight nod.

  Briana was trying to decide if she should play it cool and nod back or march over there and demand to know what he was doing. She hadn’t yet decided when another guy approached her, asking if she’d dance. It was her fifth invitation of the night, and she kept coming up with polite reasons to decline.

  She didn’t want to dance with anyone.

  She wanted Jax.

  It wasn’t in her nature to be cruel, so she turned with a smile and realized it was Dodge. They’d gone to school together, him two grades above her, and he’d always been a little too elite for her tastes. Tall, though not as tall as Jax, and with dark hair instead of wheat colored, Dodge had the type of looks that made hooking up easy.

  Briana was never easy. “Hey, Dodge. What’s up?”

  “It’s a crime against nature that a girl as pretty as you isn’t dancing.”

  The smile he used to get all the girls had no effect on Briana.

  She looked for Jax again, but now didn’t see him. Disappointed, she said, “I’m not in the mood to dance tonight. I just came out for the air.”

  “There’s more of it outside if you’d like to take a walk around the gazebo.”

  So slick. “Actually, I was just about to visit the ladies’ room to see about my lip gloss. You go on, though. I saw a lot of people out there.” She waved as she turned and walked away. “Have fun!”

  Every year, Mr. and Mrs. Swanson hosted a barn dance the second Saturday of September. The barn, which had once been filled with animals back when they’d run a working farm, now earned income as a site for family reunions, weddings, graduation pictures and everything else a person could imagine. It really was a beautiful structure with rustic wood, multipaned windows and well-placed antiques as decor.

  For the dance they always decorated like an old-fashioned country hoedown. It was their “thank you” to the community that supported them.

  Most everyone who attended contributed to the drinks or the food. Briana had brought a sheet cake, already cut into squares, and a two liter of cola. The food and drink station stretched across seven picnic tables just outside the double barn doors and to the right. String lights hung from multiple trees, adding a soft ambiance.

  Briana would have liked a stroll outside, if it was with Jax.

  Wishing she didn’t like him so much, she exited the other end of the barn, past the three portable toilets set up for the men, and to the bathhouse at the back of the Swanson property, dedicated to the women. There were three stalls inside, a long vanity with three sinks beneath a mirror, and lights bright enough for touching up makeup.

  When she stepped inside, she immediately realized she wasn’t alone. A girl, maybe sixteen or seventeen, was inside, and she looked distressed.

  Briana gave her a smile and, unsure what to say, moved to stand in front of the mirror.

  The girl watched her, her bottom lip caught in her teeth, indecision ripe in the way she held herself. She was really pretty, Briana thought, looking at her in the mirror. Long brown hair, thick and a little wavy, hung well past her shoulders. She had big dark eyes, currently watchful. One arm hugged her middle.

  Briana gave up on her lip gloss and turned to her. “I don’t mean to pry, but are you okay?”

  She nodded, but said, “I have a...a problem.”

  “Anything I can help with?”

  Her eyes closed. “I started my period and I don’t have anything.”

  “Ah.” Easy enough. Moving her purse strap off her shoulder, Briana began digging and—”Ta-da! Pro
blem solved.” She offered up a tampon.

  “Oh my God, you’re a lifesaver. Thank you.” The girl accepted it and ducked back into the stall. “I’m Ella Remmy, by the way.”

  Briana stared at the closed door. Ella Remmy. Jax’s sister?

  Knowing what the girl had been through, her heart immediately softened, but she did her best to hide it from her tone. “Briana Kasper.”

  “Everyone knows you.”

  Briana grinned at that. “You maybe mean everyone knows my family and I’m in there by association.”

  Ella laughed. “Thank God you came in. I wasn’t sure what to do. I could have called Jax—he’s my brother—but then I’d have to explain things to him, and we’d both be embarrassed.”

  “I’m sure he would have understood.”

  “Jax always understands. But I’d have never heard the end of it.” Tone bitter, she added, “He thinks I’m still a child and can’t be trusted to be here alone. He’d probably use this as a way to prove how unprepared I always am.”

  Leaning back on the vanity, Briana admitted, “I know Jax. We went through school together.”

  “Then you know what I mean.”

  “Actually, I bet he loves you dearly and worries, that’s all. My parents do the same and I’m twenty-four. The older I’ve gotten, the more I realize the things they do are about caring, not mistrust.”

  Ella emerged, going to the sink and turning on the water. “Jax is different. He used to be cool, you know? But not anymore. Not since...” Her voice trailed off.

  Jax had probably been cool when he was just a big brother visiting home. Now he had more than his fair share of responsibility.

  “I don’t suppose you have any aspirin?” Ella dried her hands, then hugged her stomach again. “This is my first date with a new guy and it already feels doomed. I’ve been in here for fifteen minutes. He’s going to think I’ve fallen in!”

  Briana laughed before digging out the medicine. “I didn’t see any guys lurking around waiting. Maybe he went back inside.”

  Ella choked on the pills, coughed and quickly bent her head to the sink to swallow more water. After drying her mouth, she hurriedly shoved open the door, looked around...and wilted.

  “Hey.” Briana joined her. “He’s likely inside, right?”

  Nodding, Ella said, “I see him through the doors. That’s him.” She pointed at a short guy with too-tidy hair. “He’s dancing with Brooke.”

  Already sensing trouble, Briana asked, “Is Brooke a friend of yours?”

  “No.” Her mouth tightened. “Brooke hates my guts.”

  When Ella started to move away, Briana caught her arm. “What are you going to do?”

  A little too loudly, Ella said, “I’ll tell her to back off.”

  “Ah. So you think she accosted him? He’s dancing against his will?”

  “What? No.” Ella’s scowl turned fierce. “But she moved in the second I was busy.”

  “He let her move in. Why would you want some jerk who’d do that? If he knows this other girl doesn’t like you, he could have nicely declined. Heck, I’ve declined several dances tonight, and I was nice every single time.” She nudged Ella. “But I still declined.”

  Undecided, Ella gave Briana her full attention. “Scott and I came here together.”

  “And yet Scott’s dancing with Brooke? Hmm, do you two have an understanding?”

  “I thought we did. He asked me to go out with him. He says he really cares about me.”

  This was where two older sisters had come in so handy. Never in a million years would Kady or April have let her lose her pride. With a little sister, they hadn’t shown much tact, but Ella wasn’t her sister, so Briana knew she’d have to move carefully. “I guess it’s not for me to give you advice—”

  “Go ahead.” Ella finally pulled her gaze away from Scott and the “other” girl. “What would you do?”

  “I wouldn’t cause a scene, that’s for sure.”

  “You wouldn’t?”

  “No way. And have people think Scott had hurt me?” She made a pfft sound. “Never.”

  “So then what?”

  “For starters,” Briana explained, “I’d ignore them both.”

  “Like they’re ignoring me?”

  “I don’t think they are. I think they’re both very aware that you’ve already spotted them.”

  Ella glanced up, and sure enough, Brooke was grinning while Scott pulled her a little closer. “That dick.”

  “Hey, don’t let either of them see that you care, okay? Smile.”

  Dutifully, Ella did just that. “Then what?”

  “We can walk back in there as if you haven’t noticed them—and wouldn’t care if you did.”

  Intrigued, Ella asked, “Have you ever done that?”

  “Plenty of times. My sisters made sure I had too much pride to ever chase a guy, or to hold another girl responsible for his behavior, even if she’s equally responsible.” Briana smiled. “If you show it doesn’t matter to you, the girl won’t waste her time. She can’t annoy you if you refuse to be annoyed by her, right? And good old Scott is going to realize he isn’t such a catch after all, that you can definitely do better.”

  “But he is.”

  “Ella.” Briana put a hand on her arm. “Have you looked in a mirror lately? You’re beautiful. You don’t have to chase a guy. Let the guys chase you.”

  “They don’t, though.”

  This was always the hard part. “Maybe because you’re sending out mixed messages. Show everyone that you’re happy and confident just being you. You don’t need a certain friend, and definitely not a guy, to make you that way.”

  Instead of being offended, Ella slowly nodded. “That’s what you do?”

  “Yes, because it’s true. I’m super happy, and whenever something gets me down, I go to my family because more than any friend or any guy, your family will always have your back.”

  Sadness had Ella looking away. “I lost my parents.”

  Gently, Briana said, “I know. I can’t even begin to imagine how terrible that is. That kind of loss would be enough to make a girl incredibly sad.”

  “I am.” She drew a shuddering breath. “I miss them so much.”

  Briana smoothed her hair. “But you still have Jax.”

  She nodded. “And Owen, though he’s a pain in the butt.”

  They both smiled. “Even so, I bet Owen would do just about anything for you. Jax, too.”

  Sighing, she said, “And I’d do anything for them.”

  “You see? Family.” Hooking her arm with Ella’s, Briana got them walking. “I’ll stay with you, okay? We’ll laugh and talk and it’ll be fine, you’ll see.”

  “You don’t have anyone else you want to visit?”

  “No. I’ve been mooning over a particular guy who isn’t interested, and I figured socializing would do me good. But...it’s a bore. Or at least it was until we got to talking.”

  Ella blinked wide eyes at her. “There’s a guy who isn’t interested in you?”

  What a boost to her bruised ego! “I know, right?” Briana winked. “Actually, he has really good reasons, so while it hurts, I understand. Now, are you feeling better? Cramps are easing up?”

  “Yes, thank you—for the aspirin, the tampon...and the pep talk.” Ella hesitated, then asked, “Are you always this nice?”

  “It’s my family’s number one rule. Always be nice—until you have a damn good reason to be otherwise.”

  Ella laughed again, and she was still laughing when they entered the barn. Scott tried to get her attention, laughing loudly, moving into her line of sight, but by then, others had joined them, including Dodge, Bryan, Lisa and some kids closer to Ella’s age.

  When Scott came over to claim her, Ella gave him a wide smile and told him to feel free t
o mingle.

  And then she dismissed him. Nicely.

  Briana literally glowed with pride. It felt like she’d really accomplished something important. She still missed Jax, of course, but if she could help his sister a little, then it wasn’t at all a wasted trip.

  * * *

  JAX STOOD THERE, disbelieving what he’d just seen. He’d hired on to keep things tidy for the Swansons’ party, which served the dual purpose of more pay and the ability to keep a close eye on Ella.

  As he’d walked the perimeter of the barn, collecting overflowing trash bags and replacing them with empties, he heard Ella and Briana talking.

  He didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but damn, Briana impressed him. He’d even managed to see them again inside the barn, and his sister looked...happy, genuinely happy, for the first time in far too long.

  Briana had worked a miracle, that’s what she’d done.

  Maybe all Ella needed was a woman to talk to.

  Did that give him a reason to see Briana alone again? He could thank her—no, probably not a good idea. Merely seeing her would never be enough, not for him. He’d want to kiss her. And touch her.

  And so much more.

  He could visit with her here, now, where the crowd of people would force him to be circumspect, but he hesitated to intrude on Ella’s time with her.

  That was, he didn’t plan to intrude until he saw Owen join the group. His brother got into a close conversation with Briana, and a minute later they were shaking hands.

  Now what the hell was that about?

  When Briana turned and looked right at him, her smile bright, Jax realized she’d known he was there all along.

  Owen sat on a barrel, a Coke in hand, to talk to some girls. They were likely Briana’s friends, meaning older than Owen, but that didn’t stop them from flirting with him.

  Yeah, he remembered those days.

  Proving he was a hypocrite after all, Jax smiled at his brother—but his smile fell when he saw guys, also older, talking to Ella.

  Briana started toward him, so he tied-off the biggest bag bursting with paper cups and empty plates, and set it aside.