Of Blood and Sorrow

by Christine Rains

  “Okay. I need to know everything you know then. I wasn’t into horror stories growing up. I was more of an Indiana Jones kind of kid. Please tell me you’ve seen the films.”

  Of course I’d seen the movies. Several times.

  I narrowed my eyes. Just when I thought he might be taking things seriously, he was talking about movies and flashing that gorgeous smile. I wondered if that latter thought was a sign of how pathetic my dating life had become.

  No. Since I didn’t date, there could be no pity or life to it.

  “Look.” I breathed out and my hot breath misted in the air. My ears prickled from the chill. “I’m risking a lot by coming here. If you aren’t going to shut up and listen, just go now. If the Allu don’t kill you, then surely the other vamps lurking around the city will do so for being in their territory.”

  “Other vampires would kill me?” His smile faded.

  “Well, vampires are predators. Predators tend to be territorial. And since your sire didn’t keep you, maybe didn’t even purposely create you, I don’t think you’ll be welcome.” I only thought of that as I said it. It was a mystery as to why his sire did abandon him. If this was all one big mistake, I refused to feel sorry for him.

  Okay, I did. For that beautiful laughing boy. And even for the glorious man he became.

  “I don’t even remember what happened that last night. I’ve tried so hard, retraced my steps, but nothing was out of the ordinary. Same friends, same club.” He knocked the edge of his fist on his forehead as if he could jar the memories loose.

  “You were high, right? Maybe you blacked out?”

  “Yes. Hessa gave me some new stuff. I didn’t want to do it, but really, I guess I didn’t protest too much. I just wanted to… I didn’t want to do it.” His brows furrowed.

  “Is Hessa your girlfriend?” I asked, a little too curious about the answer.

  “Uh, no.” Nicolas snorted. “Hessa doesn’t have boyfriends. She has boy toys. And girl toys. She’s equal opportunity. We fooled around a couple of times, but I never made it to that status. Not through lack of trying, though. Her toys have it made. I could have left my mom’s basement—” He wet his lips. “My mom. How is she?”

  “She’s dealing. She loved you a lot, even though she knew about the drugs.” I saw him wince at that. Good. “She was glad you moved into the basement because at least then she could keep an eye on you and make sure you didn’t die.”

  “Damn.” He stared down at his sneakers. “I wouldn’t have died. I wasn’t doing anything serious.”

  “If the drugs were making you act oddly, then who knows what you might have said and done around her?”

  “I didn’t take the hard stuff. Just smoked pot. But Hessa said…” Nicolas started as if he might try to defend himself and then shook his head. “Shit. I deserve to be damned.” His gaze returned to me. “Is that your job as a demon? Making me see what a moron I was before you take me to Hell and roast me for eternity?”

  I couldn’t stop myself from laughing. All the emotions that had built up over the day came burbling up. It felt good to release it. I waved my hands in the air as I got a hold of myself. “So you came here tonight thinking I was some demon who was going to drag you down to Hell?”

  “I don’t know,” he muttered. “Maybe. I was thinking all sorts of things.”

  “So was I and it had nothing to do with going to Hell, if such a place exists. It had everything to do with keeping my job and not letting anyone find out about this so they don’t hate me.” Another gust of wind blew me a little off balance. I steadied myself. “I’m just a regular person. I’m not human, but I live and work in the same world as they do. I rent an apartment, try to save for a car, and dutifully pay my taxes. It’s a normal life.” Sort of. “I just happen to have demon blood. Demons and humans have mixed for thousands of years. I wouldn’t doubt if a fifth of the world had a bit of both in their veins.”

  Nicolas stared at me without saying a word. He shook his head as if he might call me a liar, but then laughed. “Well, damn. All these weird and freaky things ordinary folk don’t know about. It’s kind of funny.”

  “You believe me? That I’m just normal?”

  “Sure, why not? I’m a vampire. Sometimes I still have trouble wrapping my head around that.” He chuckled. “Actually, you being you and working a boring job paying your taxes seems much more real than what I am. And you being more real, you must be freezing out here. Let’s go back to your place and talk.”

  “No!” I almost choked on my next breath. No way could that happen. It was one thing standing there talking to him and another to bring him into my home. Not just my home, but it was the Lady’s house. As soon as he stepped on the porch, he’d likely burst into flames. “I’m fine. We can stay here.”

  “You’re cold. I can see that. Well, if you don’t want me at your place, maybe a coffee house? Man, I could use one right now. Can vampires drink coffee?”

  “I don’t know, but no, nowhere public. Too many people.”

  “Ah, right.” He made a little that’s right, I’m an idiot sound. “Okay, how about this? I need a place to stay for the day. There’s this little sleazy motel down the road. I’ve got a wad of cash in my pocket. I can give you some money, you can get a room, and we can talk.”

  “The Flamingo? You’ve got to be kidding.” I scrunched up my face and shuddered. “And where did you get the cash? Wait. Don’t tell me.” I was cold and it was only getting colder. I didn’t know what I thought was going to happen. Maybe that I’d scare him off with a few answers and he’d leave town. Yet I got the feeling that Nicolas wasn’t going anywhere any time soon, and though I knew I should walk away, I couldn’t. “All right, sleazy motel it is. Let’s get walking.”

  “Hey, I got the cash from a dry-cleaners. The suit and shoes too. They lose stuff all the time.”

  “Yeah, they lose wads of cash all the time.” I led the way out of the cemetery. We had no choice but to walk all the way down James Street where it met the highway and the motel. It took over twenty minutes, and I was shivering uncontrollably by the time we got to the room. The guy at the desk who smelled like stale cheese puffs had only looked away from the television to make sure I was giving him enough cash. He gave me the key to room eleven and didn’t even wish me a good night. Customer service befitting a one star rating.

  “I’m cranking the heat up. Take off your jacket and wrap up in the blanket.” Nicolas closed the smoked stained shades and twisted the lever on the radiator.

  “I’m not touching anything on that bed.” I sat in the chair closest to the radiator. Not that it smelled any better there. I was in a trashy hotel room with a vampire. I wished I could not care and leave him to his inevitable death, but I did. I was starting to dislike myself more for that than him.

  Nicolas turned on the television. Some old black and white movie was on. He turned off all the lights. He sat down on the bed across from me. It insinuated a string of naughty thoughts that I had to chase away with breathing the room’s stench in deeply.

  “So,” I prompted.

  “So?” He cocked his head and then pushed onward. “Well, I want to know everything. Tell me what you know about vampires.”

  “Easy enough. Easy for you, too, if you’ve heard any of the old tales.” I rubbed my arms. At least I wasn’t shivering any more. “Vampires must consume human blood to survive. I don’t know how much you need, but obviously you can feed without killing your victim. Though, the typical vampire does make the kill.”

  “You know about a lot of vampire killings?” He leaned forward, elbows on his knees.

  “Well, no. I don’t know any specific ones. The old tales—”

  “Are old tales. Maybe vampires these days figured out they don’t need to kill people. I wonder if I could drink blood from a bag or something.” He pursed his lips, running his tongue over his fangs at the same time. Sexy with a mouth as full as his.

  “Try whatever. I don’t know.” I w
as realizing there wasn’t much I knew for certain about vamps. I always believed they were heartless killers, but across from me sat, well, not a compassionate law-abiding citizen. He was a good man at heart no matter his sins. Or was I only telling myself this so I could justify helping him?

  “Anyway, you can’t go out in the sunlight.”

  “Yeah, I found that out the hard way.” Nicolas groaned and shook his head.

  “Where did you spend the day?”

  “In a dumpster,” he muttered against his hand.

  “A dumpster?” I wanted to laugh, but didn’t. It was lucky for him that he found a spot. Even luckier that no one opened that trash bin during the day. “It should be more comfortable for you in here at least. Just make sure no light gets in and the maid doesn’t open the door.”

  “There’s a maid in this place?” He chuckled at his own joke. “I’ll put the Do Not Disturb sign on the door. So what else? Crosses? Silver bullets? Stake through the heart?”

  “Silver bullets are for werewolves, but I think they’d hurt anyone. Just like a stake through the heart would kill anyone. Crosses, well, I don’t know for sure. Faith is a tricky thing. I can’t say anything about it any which way. I think a lot of the objects in the past used to turn or burn vampires were magical.” I didn’t want to get deep into the history I knew as a demon. I attended some normal schools, but my mother home-schooled me for the most part. Demon world history was vastly different than the humans’ version. “Decapitation is a way to kill almost anything. Vampires are supposedly quite flammable as well.”

  “Flammable?” Nicolas gave me an incredulous look. “What makes us so much more flammable than anyone else? I’m not a dried up husk here. My skin is lovely, soft and hydrated. I haven’t had skin this great in years. Actually, I haven’t had skin this great ever.”

  “Seriously? You sound like a girl.” I huffed. He had a point. His skin was gorgeous. Perhaps the belief that vampires were more susceptible to fire than other beings was only fiction.

  “You’re a girl. Wouldn’t you kill for skin like this?” He struck a Vogue pose and caressed his own cheeks.

  “I don’t care about those things.” I stiffened and stared at the floor. There were several stains. If I played a guessing game, I’d probably flee the room just from thinking about it too much. I shifted uncomfortably in my chair. “And no, I wouldn’t kill anyone for such a shallow thing. I think that’s a very vampire way of thinking.”

  “No, that’s a typical woman way of thinking.” At my look, he nodded. “I’ve hung out with enough high fashion beauties to know what they did for their looks. It’s frightening really. And then they’re never satisfied. They see another woman with something better or something they want, and there’s murder in their eyes.”

  “That sounds like some bad teenage after school special.”

  “No way. It’s reality.” Nicolas sighed. “Not just teenagers. Women of all ages. Come on, don’t you watch reality television? Don’t you go out to clubs? Surely you have girlfriends. I bet not even demons are immune to the green-eyed monster. I know you’re gorgeous, but you must sometimes think those things.”

  I watched too many reality shows, but that was my dirty secret. I didn’t go to clubs or have girlfriends. I had the Putzkammers and the Lady, and an exciting social life they did not make. I felt more than a bit pathetic at the moment. I remembered looking wistfully at Annaleigh earlier that day, but I hadn’t wanted to kill her or even be her. It hadn’t been more than a flitting thought. I was different from the average girl, but I felt way outside that sphere now.

  Wait. Did he just call me gorgeous? I blinked, feeling my face heat up.

  “Wow. You don’t, do you?” He leaned forward, arching his brows. The corner of his lips twitched up. “You’re not Amish or anything, are you?”

  “Amish?” It was one of the most ridiculous things anyone has ever asked me. “You really don’t know much about the world, do you?”

  “Of course I do.” He straightened. “I was thinking the same thing about you.”

  “Touché.” I sighed and started to lean back in the chair. Then I remembered where we were, and the less contact I had with anything the better. I scooted forward to perch on the edge of the seat.

  We sat in silence for a few minutes. The television droned on, and in one of the other rooms, a couple was being rowdy in bed. They weren’t directly next door to us, but at moments, it sounded like it. A headboard thumped against the wall and groans of pleasure made my toes curl.

  I tugged at my collar. Was the heat on high in here?

  “So what else do you want to know? I don’t know what else to tell you except that you really should leave town.” I fiddled with the hem of my coat.

  “Yes, I got the message, but I can’t.” Nicolas flopped back on the bed. “I know my life, or un-life or whatever, is in danger. Strangely, it’s not motivating me to leave. I thought I’d be long gone by now.” He propped himself up on his elbows to look at me. “This is the first time in a long time I’ve been able to think clearly. It feels like I’ve been in a haze for years. And it was stupid. Really stupid. Now that I’m a vampire, I’m going to do a better job of it than being human. I can live like you. I can get a night job, get my own place, start fresh. I can get my mom out of that crappy house—” His lips thinned. “Well, I can start again on my own anyway.”

  “It’s not that easy for you.” I didn’t want to burst his bubble, but he had come to me for answers and I was going to give him the harsh reality of it all. “You can’t be around humans all the time. The hunger might take you over. You might kill someone. Besides, you’re dead. You don’t have an identity to legally do anything anymore.”

  “Okay, right. I can get some fake IDs. I have some connections that I can use. They might not think I’m dead, and they certainly won’t tell anyone they saw me.”

  “Again, the human thing.”

  “Okay, okay.” He ran his hands over his face and into his hair. “Hey.” He was sitting in a blink of an eye. “I could work with you. You’re all demons. I don’t want to eat you. Dead bodies don’t bother me.”

  A cry of ecstasy from the other room accompanied his last statement. I bit my lower lip and forced my focus on the situation at hand.

  “Have you listened to anything I’ve been saying?” I groaned. “The second you go near the funeral home, you’ll be killed. Besides, demons don’t like vampires. None would ever work with you.”

  “So if demons don’t like vampires, why are you here?” He cocked an eyebrow at me. His expression was serious yet somehow amused at the same time.

  “I don’t know.” I stood. The sweet boy who liked to act and run and still loved his mother. The uninhibited and couthy young man who made me doubt everything I believed about vampires and myself. “I just don’t want you to hurt anyone, or, well, die again by the hands of the Allu. You woke up and I was the only one there. Maybe I could have done more or something. I feel responsible.”

  Nicolas chuckled. A quiet and tantalizing sound. Heat rushed up my neck again.

  “It’s not because you like me, right?” He leaned toward me, eyeing me with more than just casual interest. Had any guy ever looked at me that way? “You like me.”

  “I don’t like you. I’m only trying to do something nice.” I reached over and opened the door. The cold wind blew over me. “I told you everything I know. If you’re really thinking clearly, do something right for a change.”

  I was out the door and had it shut behind me before I realized I’d taken the steps. Nicolas didn’t chase after me. It was for the best that way. Except that I wanted him to.

  Dammit. I did like him.

  When morning came, I hadn’t gotten nearly enough sleep. Maybe four hours pieced together. I’d tossed and turned, thinking about Nicolas when I was awake and dreaming about him when I was asleep. Caressing his perfect skin, his lips leaving hot kisses along my neck, and staring into those gorgeous blue eyes. I should
have run when Cort told me to and never looked back. Yet then how much would I have hated myself?

  I dragged myself into the bathroom and showered. Along my back and limbs, my spots were dark from having fed well the day before. They were a deep brown at the moment, but they never turned ebony as my mother’s had. My stomach clenching, I twisted away from the mirror and got dressed.

  The Lady sung along with the radio as she made breakfast. The bright yellows and oranges of the kitchen mirrored her mood. Her hips swayed as she flipped another blueberry pancake onto a plate and put it on the table.

  “Good morning, good morning.”

  “Good morning, Demi.” Though I would prefer to call her by her proper title, my landlady didn’t like to be called the Lady unless she was about her business.

  “You slept in. It’s so lovely outside. I’ve been listening to the cardinals sing.” Demi collected two glasses from the counter and a pitcher of orange juice from the fridge. “And whoever this poppy kid is on the radio. I quite like it. Singing of warm summer days.”

  I had only tried to protest her making me breakfast for the first few days I’d lived there. It was a futile battle. The Lady was the happy homemaker in the mornings with the bobbed hair, rosy cheeks and apron, right out of a 1950s TV show. At noon exactly, that changed, but I knew better than to be around the house at that hour.

  “Rough night at work, I heard.” The Lady poured syrup over the pancakes and motioned for me to start eating.

  It didn’t surprise me the Lady knew. Either she learned through her own ways or Bolona called and left a message. The two of them were as thick as sisters even though Bolona was a fifty-something year old human and the Lady was a two thousand-something year old demon.

  “The vampire came back and tried to get me to help him. He almost ran into his own mother.” I cut a few fluffy pieces and started to eat.

  “How horrifying. The poor woman.” The Lady tsked, poured a glass of juice and pushed that my way too. “No mother should have to experience such a thing.”