Of Blood and Sorrow

by Christine Rains

  Was that something other than malice in his eyes?

  Reaching out to him metaphysically, I found what I was looking for much quicker than anticipated. Sorrow. Agony. Heartbroken fury.

  Funny how that was who I recognized as Nicolas.

  Funnier yet, was that a nod? It was barely perceptible.

  What the hell could he mean? My heart thundered in my chest, and I dug my fingers into his forearm. He could be playing with me. That would seem most likely.

  Nicolas lifted me away from the wall with a shake and then blinked once slowly.

  All the cop shows ever produced told me that one blink was for yes. Did he know what I was thinking? Or did he…

  He could feel me tasting his grief.

  Latching hold of it, I drank it in.

  Through his eyes, I saw myself standing in my bathroom in my bra. Did I really look that pretty? And it wasn’t just that Nicolas thought me to be beautiful. There was admiration there strengthening his attraction.

  His heart broke as he saw me in the cage. He ran, drawing Hessa far away as possible, and thought of only me as he was beaten and tortured.

  Nicolas holding me as I slept in my bed. I was so warm while he felt cold. How he wished he could hold me forever.

  Tears coursed down my face. He was still in there. And he cared for me as much as I did for him.

  He squeezed, puncturing my flesh with his nails. What was worse was that he had to kill me to survive. Hessa would accept no other outcome.

  I squirmed, ready to tell him I forgave him. He promised he’d never harm me, but there were some promises…

  Wait. No.

  Nicolas wasn’t going to kill me. He was going to try to kill his sire.

  As I realized it, I screamed. No! He couldn’t do this.

  Hessa’s laughter abruptly cut off as Nicolas dropped me and launched himself at her. He was a blur as he smashed the other vampire into a metal casket. The box folded with a terrible creak from the force of it.

  I landed on my knees. The fall jolted my body, but the heat of my spots wiped away the pain.

  I refused to let him sacrifice himself for me. I couldn’t stop him in the warehouse, but this time, they weren’t going to get away from me.

  Blocking out all the suffering around me, I focused on Hessa. There was no need to be subtle about it. I wasn’t going to secretly sip upon her sorrow. I was going to devour the bitch.

  I chomped, met resistance, but held on. Hessa was indeed old. Older than even I anticipated and with several walls built around her heart. It surprised me the vampire still had one, but it was there with every sorrow tucked away and hidden.

  Hessa paused having felt my intrusion, and Nicolas took full advantage of it. He punched her in the face. Three times. Bones crunched and blood splattered over the immaculate caskets. Hessa roared and fought back, bashing Nicolas against a wall.

  Misery loved company and I was its perfect companion. It could not hide from me. I feasted upon this grand banquet, drinking it in as quickly as I could.

  Hessa’s sire dead at her feet. Blood dripped from her hands. She’d tried to save him, but their enemies were too many. She fell to her knees and held his mangled body to hers. Alone in the world, no one left to teach her.

  A vampire fed upon a young man. Hessa tore the vampire off and decapitated him with a sword. Dropping both the body and weapon, she scooped up the human. He’d called her beautiful. The only surviving kin of her sire’s, and now he was dead too.

  The images assaulted my mind. So many years, so many loses. No matter that Hessa was a sadist and murderer, she was not immune to her emotions. Each moment of grief was as sharp as the other.

  Fresher than the rest was Hessa’s agony over the realization that Nicolas did not love her. How could he not love her? She didn’t understand.

  Hessa slammed me against the wall. Her elbow dug into my chest. A snarl made her look more monster than human.

  The crushing force made it hard to breathe, but I found myself numb to the pain. No, not numb, but above it. I blinked, staring at the woman who had led such a long and horrible life. Hessa cared that Nicolas didn’t love her, and it made her furious he didn’t feel the same way. She would make him love her.

  A surge of jealousy curled my upper lip. I gobbled at all that misery. Nicolas was mine.

  My spots burned like a hundred hot brands pressing against my flesh.

  A woman who looked so much like Hessa singing a soft song to her as a child. Comfort and security. But little Hessa did not smile.

  Hessa laughing with Nicholas. He was still human. Handsome, charismatic, and smart. So few men like him around these days. He made her feel like the single most gorgeous creature on Earth. That moment she decided she’d make him one of her own.

  Nicolas was a rare man. Could I blame her for wanting him? He wasn’t mine no matter how much my heart wanted it to be so. I wasn’t Hessa, and I refused to ever be that way.

  With an urn in his hands, Nicolas whacked Hessa on the head. She let go of me and tumbled to one side. Fast on her feet, Hessa wiped the blood off her head, but hissed realizing it smeared through her hair.

  “I’m going to make both of you suffer.” Hessa spat, wobbling on her feet.

  As much as I had taken from the vampire, I could hardly believe Hessa still stood. Less had killed other vamps and Paul. Images came less frequently. What did it mean?

  “Erin, get out of here. I’ll finish her off.” Nicolas clutched the bloodied urn in his hands. He didn’t glance my way. All it would take was one blink and Hessa could move fast enough to kill us.

  “She’s almost dead.” I didn’t smile as I said it. A few more dark memories from Hessa’s childhood, and then there was nothing left to feed upon.

  I did it. We’d won.

  But then why was Hessa glaring at me?

  Hessa should be an empty shell. There was nothing left in her for me to take. No more sorrow or even any emotion born of it. It made her a husk. One whose head healed and hands clenched.

  “How?” I didn’t even realize I spoke out loud until I heard my echo in the showroom.

  “You just made this so much easier for me.” Hessa didn’t chuckle this time. Her once glinting eyes were hard and glassy. The fist hitting Nicolas wasn’t at all fragile, though.

  He flew back and hit the doorframe. Something in his body snapped as it met the floor, and the urn clanged, rolling into the hallway. He groaned, unsuccessfully trying to rise, and collapsed with no more than a twitch. I cringed and attempted to drain something more from Hessa, but there truly wasn’t anything left.

  “How are you still alive?” Did I sound stoned? Maybe it was from drinking too much.

  “I haven’t been alive for a very long time.” Hessa smirked, just a little, before driving her fist into my stomach.

  Neither of us budged. I peered down at myself. Was this even my body?

  Hessa hit me a second and third time. There was contact. I could feel that. Ice meeting lava. Did my spots suddenly become bricks, bloated on the sorrow of an old vampire?

  And what would happen if I hit Hessa back?

  Cocking my head, I pulled back my fist and plowed her in the face. Hessa didn’t dodge or defend. No one expected me to have such power.

  Hessa fell to one knee and clutched her busted nose. With a yell, she punched me with an uppercut and kicked around a leg to sweep out mine. Hessa hissed when I remained unmoved.

  Glancing at Nicolas, I noted he still hadn’t even twitched. The hit couldn’t have killed him, but he’d been in bad enough shape. It wasn’t as if I could tell he was still alive by the rise and fall of his chest or listen for a heartbeat. He’d be okay. I had to trust he’d be okay.

  I then gazed at Hessa. I raised a foot and stomped, missing my target. Five more stomps and each met only floor.

  Hessa struck out in several ways, managing to only scratch me, but it healed swiftly. When the vampire stood, we circled one another. No longer predat
or and prey. More like predator and sentinel. I was the one left to guard the funeral home. The only one to protect Nicolas.

  If he lived.

  “I don’t understand how you’re still alive.” I gritted my teeth. “I drained you to the bottom of your soul, or spirit, or whatever you want to call it. Everyone else died when I did it. Even vampires.”

  “I guess it proves I’m something much more than everyone else.” Hessa tossed her head back, throwing her hair over her shoulders. She didn’t dart in for another attack nor run away. Her pace matched mine step for step.

  I didn’t like it one bit. It meant Hessa was thinking.

  “You’re nothing more than a dead thing. A murderer. Unnatural. A sadistic bitch.” I spit out the words hoping to get a rise out of her. Saying it, I realized it wouldn’t be enough. I needed to hit her where it hurt. “Nicolas never loved you. He could never love a whore like you. It wouldn’t matter what you did or forced him to do. But he wanted me. Alive and warm. I’d never betray him or kill him.”

  I waited. There was no spark of grief or ache of loss. No anger born of sorrow or miserable jealousy. There was nothing.

  What had I done?

  “Alive. Ah yes.” Hessa moved so fast the world seemed to spin. She came up behind me. Not in an attempt to knock me over or strike me with a weapon. Hessa wrapped one arm around my throat and covered my nose and mouth with her other hand.

  “I may be a dead thing, unable to beat you down, but you’re alive.” Hessa whispered near my ear. “But will you be if you can’t breathe?”

  I didn’t get a chance to take in a deep breath before she locked her arms around me. Panic beat against my chest. I tried to rip Hessa off of me, but the harpy had a firm hold. It was like trying to tear off my own flesh.

  My elbows couldn’t get in a good hit, and there was no moving my head to headbutt. My lungs burned, aching for air.

  I threw myself backward against a wall. Once, twice, three times. Hessa grunted, but her hold didn’t loosen.

  After everything, to be choked to death? It was sort of ridiculous. Defeated by a wrestling move. Did Hessa watch wrestling? Connor used to watch it when he was younger. Maybe Nicolas liked it too. Many of the boys seemed to get into it. Why was I wondering this while I was dying?

  Fight. With every last bit of life in me, I had to fight. Darkness closed in around the edges of my vision. I needed to cling to the light.

  The light!

  I stuffed a hand in my pants’ pocket and pulled out the compact. Flipping it open, I aimed it for Hessa’s face. The inhuman screech right by my ear might’ve deafened me, but she let me go and fled for the door.

  Sucking in a great breath, I followed Hessa with the light, but the bitch was quick. Too fast for me.

  But not for Nicolas.

  He grabbed his sire’s ankle and dug his fingers into her flesh. “Do it, Erin! Burn her!”

  Nicolas was alive! A noise that was something between a sob and laughter bubbled out of me.

  Hessa screamed and cursed, kicking at Nicolas, but he held on and endured her assault.

  I didn’t waste any more time. I pinned the light on Hessa, shuffling closer to keep it on the flailing vampire. The edges of sunlight touched Nicolas, and he hissed as his flesh sizzled. His fingers slipped and left gouges down Hessa’s foot.

  Skin melted and tissue bubbled, and the stench churned my stomach, but it didn’t quell Hessa’s struggles.

  If she got free and ran, there was no way I could catch her. Tears filled my eyes. I couldn’t go through this again. Hessa would come back with a vengeance. No demon would survive a second battle.

  Nicolas’ hands slid farther, taking flesh and a designer shoe. Hessa yanked her leg free.

  A gunshot thundered. She twitched and went still.

  “That will keep her down until you finish her.” Connor marched down the hall toward us with a shotgun in one hand. He paused and put a second slug into Hessa’s head. “Best make sure.”

  I wanted to run over and hug him. Two things stopped me. One, I remembered it wasn’t Connor. How could I forget Abdiel was wearing his face? Second, there was no way I was going to take the sunlight off Hessa until the whore was nothing more than dust.

  Abdiel stepped over the vampires and into the showroom. Kneeling beside Cort, he unwound my sweater from around his neck. I turned away, keeping my eyes on Hessa. I didn’t want to see the last of the Putzkammers dead. To be reminded of my failure. It hurt to swallow, but I couldn’t let myself cry now.

  “He’s still alive.” Abdiel stated.

  “What?” I turned so quickly, the sunlight nearly shone on Nicolas. His yelp of protest directed my hands back to target Hessa.

  “The Blood of Ammut is strong in him. It staunched the flow. He’ll need a healer, but he’s alive.” Abdiel replaced the sweater as he stood. He opened the gun and popped in two more bullets. “The inside is clear. I’m going out to take care of the stragglers.”

  “The basement!” I blurted. How could I forget? “There were vampires hiding in the freezer in the mortuary. I don’t know if they got out. Paul was supposed to open the door for them, but he…”

  Cort was alive, but his brother was dead. I’d killed him. He would hate me forever.

  Nicolas placed a gentle and burned hand on my calf. He didn’t say anything, but those gorgeous blue eyes helped ease my trembling.

  “I’ll take care of it.” Abdiel jogged out of the room and paused. “Make sure you burn every last cell of that bitch’s body. Don’t even leave a smudge on the carpet.”

  I nodded, and the Allu disappeared into the hall.

  Once Abdiel was gone, Nicolas tugged on my pants. “Come. Sit with me. Let me help you.”

  “I don’t want you to get burned.” Glancing at his hands, I then added, “Any more than you are.”

  “I won’t touch that. I just want to hold you.” His voice was quiet and a bit rough. He was good at hiding his pain, but I had no doubt he was badly banged up.

  “I don’t want to hurt you. You’ve broken—”

  Nicolas shushed me and tugged again. “I’ll be fine. You’re more broken than I am. Let me help you.”

  My first instinct demanded I protest. I was still standing. Even though I wasn’t sure how. I had to finish the job, get a healer for Cort, take care of Nicolas, assess the damage to the funeral home, prepare for any vampire retribution…

  Holy shit.

  I slowly lowered myself down. Nicolas shifted and gathered me onto his lap. I didn’t protest this time, but made sure to keep the sunlight on Hessa’s crispy body. The smell should’ve been overwhelming, but my senses weren’t working all that well.

  Shock? No, not me. I’d been through worse.

  My spots weren’t so hot anymore. They should be after the feast I consumed. So, okay, maybe a little shock.

  “Shh, it’s going to be okay.” Nicolas murmured against the side of my head. He rubbed my arms as he nuzzled me.

  Why was he saying that?

  A teardrop splattered on my chest. Was I crying? I was the one who comforted people, who took their grief and helped them carry on. I was a sorrow Phage. I had to be stronger than that.

  But for now, I leaned back against Nicolas and welcomed the solace he offered. His strength kept my hands up without touching my arms as I burned Hessa until there was nothing left. Not a trace of the bitch left except for the ruined dress and fancy high heels.

  “Huh. No underwear or bra.” I snapped the compact shut and frowned at the spot where Hessa had fallen.

  “That’s what you notice? Not all the bodies lying around us or the explosion from the basement?” Nicolas snorted and kissed the top of my head.

  “Well, it’s pretty slutty.” I closed my eyes with a huff.

  “Yup, that was Hessa.” Nicolas shifted his legs to draw me closer. “I need some blood and a place to rest. But I don’t want to leave you.”

  I didn’t want him to leave either. “I can get you th
e blood from my place. I’ll likely be here at the funeral home for the rest of the night and the day tomorrow, though. I’m sure the Lady won’t mind if you—”

  “I’d rather stay here with you.” Nicolas tightened his hold on me.

  I let him stay.

  “This is just too creepy.” I wrapped my arms around myself and squeezed. My gaze remained on Cort and refused to swing left any farther. “It’s not right.”

  “Erin…” Cort laid a hand on my shoulder. His tired but patient smile turning down a bit. “We’ve been over this. Paul was a licensed embalmer and part of the American Society of Embalmers. Where am I going to find another demon who can do the work we have here and be legitimate too?”

  I understood, but I didn’t want to. My lips thinned. Cort wanted to keep the business running, and I was more than happy to be a part of that. But this? It gnawed at my insides.

  “Zaphkiel is every bit as good as Paul was.” Cort said and drew me into a hug as I flinched. “I know it’s hard. And no one blames you. You saved us. Paul made his own choice, and it was to side with the enemy.”

  Cort handled the news of his brother’s betrayal and death much better than I did. Somehow, it made us closer than before. He was the last Putzkammer because of what I’d done. His love and forgiveness left me in awe.

  I glanced at the Allu prepping the latest client for the embalming procedure. He wore the same calm expression Paul always did when working. Well, he was wearing Paul’s face after all.

  I shuddered and nodded. “I’ll get used to it.”

  Not likely, but Cort’s idea of having Zaphkiel act as Paul was a good one. The Allu had been injured in the battle by a vampire. The bastard tore Zaphkiel’s leg off and beat him with it. How he lived through it, I had no idea.

  Sometimes I wondered how I managed to make it through.

  Cort released me and led me up the stairs. It was business tonight as usual. Several families who had lost loved ones during the battle arranged to have their funerals with Putzkammer & Sons. We hadn’t had a night off in three weeks. Not that I minded, but I had a new reason to look forward to nights off.