Wild Card

by Stuart Woods

  “Correct. Describe my duties in more detail.”

  “The candidate is one who presents well to the public, but needs to be coached in certain skills, such as the natural use of a teleprompter. He must also be trained never to speak extemporaneously, as he is prone to gaffes. You must be in constant contact with him, through Skype, which he currently uses to keep in touch with a number of women in his home state and in Washington.”

  “Is he married?”

  “Divorced, twice. He will have handlers who will discourage him from being alone with women.”

  “I don’t have to ‘handle’ him?”

  “Only his speeches and, perhaps, political strategies and his intellect, which is superficial. He appears to know a great deal about a great many subjects, but his facts are often wrong, and you must guard against that.”

  “Why are you considering me for this post?”

  “I have read much of what you have written while at Harvard, which is considerable, and I’ve spent time with a member of the Harvard recruitment board, who has taken an interest in you. I have liked what I have heard.”

  “Do you understand that I have certain limitations where communication with others is required?”

  “I do, just as I understand my own current limitations in that regard. And I believe yours are surmountable. I understand, for instance, that you communicate orally better through Skype than through actual contact.”

  “That is correct, at least with strangers. I have no problem with face-to-face contact with people I know and have experience with. What does the job pay?”

  “One hundred thousand dollars.”

  “For the whole campaign?”

  “Per month.”

  Ari sucked in a quick breath. “That is acceptable,” he said. “Who is the candidate?”

  “Joseph Box, the junior senator from Florida.”

  “I can see how you might think he needs my help,” Ari said.

  “One of the things I have noted in your writings, Ari, if I may call you that, is that you seem able to assume any political stance—whether or not you are in agreement with it—and defend your position. A happy skill in a debater or a political operative. One of the things you will need to do is to help select policy positions for Box to use in his campaign. Some of these positions brush against the far right, but most would be described as right-center, though not far enough right to put off college-educated white men and women and independents.”

  “I can handle that.”

  “Good. A package will be delivered to you shortly containing a complete biography of Joseph Box, including the legislative record of his votes and many of his speeches.”

  “How will I be paid?”

  “An LLC account is being opened as we speak, with you listed as president, at New England Trust in Harvard Square.”

  “I know the bank. I keep my personal account there.”

  “You may also hire a full-time assistant and pay that person from the account at a salary you consider attractive for the job.

  “You will use the new account only for your personal campaign expenses, and you will submit monthly reports of your expenditures, with receipts. Your salary will be deposited into your personal account, and you must file quarterly tax returns and remain current on your payments.”

  “Of course. I do my own accounting and use TurboTax for filing.”

  “Good. The new LLC account will have a balance of two hundred thousand dollars. You are to rent an apartment immediately—today, if possible—and pay the rent from this account, a maximum of ten thousand dollars per month, and the attendant deposits. You may choose a property suitable for your office, as well as residence, and that of your assistant. Install a landline, if you wish, but all of your campaign conversations will take place on two telephones, one for your assistant, being sent to you. Keep it on your person at all times. Do you possess a driver’s license?”

  “Yes, and I am quite a good driver.”

  “As soon as possible, buy a new car. It should be a large American-made SUV, with a secure trunk area. Arrange for garaging in or near your apartment building. You may not have a firearm in the vehicle at any time, and if you possess one, throw it into the Charles River today.”

  “I do not possess a firearm. They disgust me. When will I meet Senator Box?”

  “You will phone him on Skype about seventy-two hours from now and transmit his first speech to him. A teleprompter instructor will be working with him in the meantime, and you may rehearse him. The location and subject of the speech is in the packet being delivered to you. At a time of your own choosing, visit some of his campaign events for the purpose of assessing the candidate’s progress. You will be known to his advance and security people and will be issued campaign staff credentials, as will your assistant. But avoid mixing with Box’s staff socially. As few people as possible should know who you are and what you are doing.”

  “I understand. How may I contact you, Mr. Smith?”

  “I am listed among your contacts on the phone in your package.”

  “Whom do you represent?”

  “An entirely legal political action committee. That is all you need to know. If anyone should inquire about your employment, tell them that you are a self-employed, freelance campaign operative. As I mentioned, an LLC corporation is being established and you will receive stationery and business cards at your new address, which you should e-mail to me as soon as you have signed a lease. When that is accomplished, credit cards will be issued in your name and that of your assistant, to be used strictly for campaign expenses and no other.”

  “Thank you, Mr. Smith.”

  “You may call me William.”

  “Thank you, William. I won’t disappoint you.”

  “Oh, Ari, one more thing: At the conclusion of the campaign, if your work has been exemplary, your student loans will be paid in full.”

  He hung up, which was a good thing, since Ari was speechless.

  There was a knock at his door, but when he answered it, no one was there. A large box was on the floor. Ari sat back down and gathered his thoughts for a moment. In that time he had decided whom to hire, where to look for an apartment, and what car he would buy.

  He opened the just-delivered box and spread its contents on his bed, in order of importance, then he used his new cell phone to call Annie Lee, a colleague during his summer term.

  “Hello?”

  “Hello, Annie, it’s Ari Kramer.”

  “You’re not calling on Skype. Is anything wrong?”

  “Nothing. Have you found employment yet after the term?” Annie had completed her master’s degree in political science, and had been accepted for doctorate study.

  “No,” she replied.

  “I believe I can solve the problem for you,” Ari said. “Please come to my room directly.”

  “Of course.”

  Ari hung up without further ado.

  30

  Stone and Jamie dined in his study and drank a very good wine.

  “So, it will be some time before I see you again?” he asked.

  “I’m afraid so,” Jamie replied. “They’ve got me scheduled for twenty-nine cities—that’s so far.”

  “What about network interviews?”

  “I’ll do them from local stations. What are you going to do for sex while I’m gone?”

  “Why are you concerned about that?”

  “I know what your appetites are, and I can’t expect you to be chaste for all that time—maybe not even as long as a day or two.”

  Stone had no comment about that. “I should ask you the same question,” he replied.

  “Masturbation works for me.”

  “It works for everybody,” he said. “But not all by itself, or for very long.”

  She laughed. “I forgot that you
know my appetites as well as I yours.”

  “You’ll need to be more careful than I,” Stone said.

  “What do you mean?”

  “You’re about to become a public figure, and you’ll have to conduct yourself as such. Be careful to whom you bestow your gifts.”

  “That’s good advice,” she said. “How about you?”

  “I am the essence of a private person,” he replied. “Nobody cares about what I do.”

  “But you’re a close friend of a candidate for the presidency. I can’t believe that’s a sexless relationship.”

  “We have agreed to take pains to be in separate cities at all times,” Stone replied. “I’ve never figured out how to include a sex life in that.”

  “That’s a good plan, if it works.”

  “It has worked for some time.”

  “Did you see Joe Box’s announcement speech from New Hampshire?”

  “I avoided it,” Stone said. “He annoys me.”

  “He wasn’t bad. I was impressed with the way he used the teleprompter. Somebody is tutoring him, I think.”

  “I hope not well enough to make him a serious candidate.”

  “He exuded seriousness. He’s a good actor.”

  “In spurts, I suppose, but not good enough to keep my skin from crawling.” He poured them an after-dinner cognac. “What are they doing about security for you?”

  “Two women with guns,” she replied.

  Stone laughed. “Perhaps they know you well enough not to give you male companionship.”

  “They said it was so they could accompany me to the ladies’ rooms along the way. Apparently, that’s not a good place to be alone.”

  “I don’t think the Thomases are after you right now.”

  “How can I be sure of that?”

  “They can’t harm you in the middle of a book tour—not when the book is about them.”

  “You have a point. How about you?”

  “When I go out, I have Fred, who is very competent and well-armed.”

  “How did a Brit on American soil get a New York City carry license?”

  “He has a friend high up in the police department.”

  “Ah, yes, Dino. I’ll miss Dino and Viv.”

  “I’ll tell them you said so.”

  “Please do.” She refilled her own glass and stood up. “Now,” she said, “come with me. This one has to be great because it has to last a long time.” She held out her hand.

  Stone took it and followed her upstairs.

  * * *

  • • •

  There was a knock at Ari’s door, and he opened it to find Annie Lee standing there: Eurasian, petite, and very fetching to him. He showed her in and pointed to a chair.

  She didn’t take it immediately. “What’s all that on the bed?” she asked.

  “You can read it after our conversation,” Ari replied. “Your speed-reading skills will be very useful for the next few months.”

  “What will we be doing?”

  “We will be making Senator Joseph Box into a credible candidate for president,” he said.

  “I love a challenge,” she replied wryly.

  “Those things are his bio, his speeches, and pretty much everything ever written about him. The articles will point out areas of his persona that we’ll have to pay particular attention to.”

  She picked up a stack of papers and sat down at his desk. “Let me read a few,” she said. She started with the bio, then continued through a two-inch stack of paper. “I’ve got the gist,” she said shortly. “Does this job pay money?”

  “Ten thousand dollars a month plus room, board, and travel expenses.”

  Her mouth dropped open. “That’s more than sixty dollars an hour.”

  “Then you must try to be worth it. Come on, we have to go find an apartment.” He took his new checkbook and tucked it into a coat pocket. “And buy some clothes and a car.”

  “Good God! Who’s paying for this?”

  “A perfectly legal political action committee.”

  “Which is committed to making Box president?”

  “Nearly president, I think.”

  “Why ‘nearly’?”

  “Who in their right mind would actually want Box to be president? I think they have other motives.”

  “Such as?”

  “Scaring the shit out of the Republican Party. Let’s go.” Ari led her from the room and double-locked the door behind him.

  “What kind of apartment are we looking for?” she asked.

  “One with two bedrooms and baths, with workspace, too. I saw a sign off the Square the other day that I’d like to know more about.” They walked over to the Square, then to a side street. “There,” Ari said, nodding toward a tall, new condo building.

  “Nothing cozy, huh?”

  “Nope.” They went into the building to where a woman sat at a desk. “We’d like to see that,” he said, pointing to a sign that read: MODEL APARTMENT ON VIEW.

  The woman looked him up and down. “Certainly, sir,” she said. She took some keys from a desk drawer and led him to the elevator. They rose to the top floor, where she opened a door and ushered them through.

  There was a large living room with a dining area, an excellent kitchen, and three bedrooms. It was furnished as if it was a department store. Even kitchen utensils and tableware were in place.

  Ari walked quickly from room to room. “How much to rent?” he asked.

  “Seventy-five hundred, per month. Unfurnished, of course, minimum one-year lease.”

  “How much for the furniture?”

  “You’d have to speak with the decorator about that.”

  “I’ll take the apartment if you’ll speak to the decorator and get me a favorable price for the furniture.”

  The woman took out her cell phone, dialed a number, and then wandered into the kitchen to talk. Then she came back. “The retail price of everything here is thirty-eight thousand dollars, but you can buy it all for twenty-five thousand.”

  “Done,” Ari said, producing a checkbook.

  “There’s a security deposit of a month’s rent, and you pay the first and last months now.” She told him whom to make the checks out to, and she produced a lease and began filling in the blanks.

  “Oh,” Ari said, “does that include parking in the building?”

  “Yes, for one car.”

  He turned to Annie. “Do you own a car?”

  “No,” she replied.

  “That is satisfactory.” He wrote a check for the rent and another for the furniture.

  “When would you like to move in?” the agent asked, handing him the lease and a pen.

  “Now,” Ari replied.

  “I’ll need half an hour to clear the checks,” she said.

  “That’s all right. We have some shopping to do.”

  She handed him two sets of keys, he gave one to Annie and they went downstairs.

  “What kind of shopping?” Annie asked.

  “I’m going over to J. Press and buy some suitable clothes. Why don’t you do the same? I don’t think Harvard Graduate Student is a good look for a political operative of either gender. We need to look more prosperous.”

  “J. Crew is good for me,” she said.

  He signed a blank check and gave it to her. “I’ll need receipts. I’ll meet you back here in a couple of hours.”

  He shopped for an hour, chose some suits, jackets, shirts, and shoes, then got his clothes marked up for alterations to the cuffs and sleeves and ordered everything delivered to the apartment. Then he got into a cab.

  “Take me to a Chevrolet car dealer,” he said to the driver.

  Three-quarters of an hour later, he drove a new Tahoe off the lot and to his new building. He went upstairs and s
melled cooking as he got off the elevator and let himself into the apartment.

  The living room was crowded with shopping bags from J. Crew and J. Press, and Annie was in the kitchen. “Hi,” she said, “I did some grocery shopping.”

  31

  Bob Cantor knocked, then walked into Stone’s office and sat down. “I think you’ve had enough of Sherry and me,” he said.

  “Nonsense. You can stay as long as you like.”

  “What I’d like is to go back to my hideout in Brooklyn and take Sherry with me.”

  “Do you think that will be safe?”

  “It’ll be safe because they don’t know about it,” he replied. “I’ve swept the neighborhood here for the past couple of days, and it’s been squeaky clean. I think Brooklyn will be, too. I’ve also taken a couple of trips to my house downtown, and there’s no human surveillance on it. No electronic surveillance, either, if I’m any good at what I do.”

  Sherry joined them and thanked Stone profusely.

  “Our stuff is all packed and in the car,” Bob said.

  “You okay for money?” Stone asked.

  “Oh, yeah. I’ve always got cash on hand.” He stood up and offered his hand. “Call me, if there are any developments.”

  “I don’t think there will be,” Stone said, “now that Jamie’s book is coming out. Since we’ve already done our worst, we’re not a threat to them anymore.”

  “I hope you’re right,” Bob said. “Just remember, revenge runs deep in the Italian character.”

  “That’s what Dino keeps telling me,” Stone replied.

  They said goodbye and left.

  * * *

  • • •

  Ari sat in front of his laptop and made a Skype call. Senator Joseph Box answered. “Ari?” he asked.

  “Yes, Senator.”

  “Welcome aboard.”

  “I’ve been following your campaign on the Internet, and I have a couple of observations.”

  “I’d be happy to hear them.”

  “Senator, I get the impression that you have a good memory.”

  “An outstandingly excellent memory,” Box replied. “I can recite whole chapters from books that I read in high school.”