by Denise Wells
“Tapped out,” Lexie laughs. “That's funny.”
“I know, right,” Kat says.
“Anyway, after I tapped out, I asked him to leave, and then I went into the bathroom to take a shower.”
“What did he do?” Lexie asks.
“I was hoping he would just leave. But he stayed and talked to me through the bathroom door. I eventually opened it, we agreed to be friends, and then he left.”
“Wow,” Kat says.
“What she said,” Lexie agrees.
“I know. He’s a great guy, he just really didn’t do it for me after all. It almost makes me wish I knew someone I could set him up with.”
“Don’t look at me,” Lexie says.
“No, not you, Lex,” I tell her.
“Well, you should set him up since you blue-balled him and cut him off,” Kat admonishes.
“I wasn’t being serious.”
“I am. You kinda suck for doing that. At least as far as he's concerned. What’s the harm in setting him up? Who do you know?” Kat asks.
“I don’t know, probably nobody. Or, maybe the girl who teaches my Yoga class. She’s nice, and single, and she seems to be more, I don’t know, maybe simpler than I am?”
“Pfft. Well, that doesn’t take much,” Kat says.
“Shut up.” I roll my eyes at her.
“Rem, have you ever noticed that you do this a lot? Find something wrong with every guy you date and then break it off?” Kat asks.
“Well, duh,” I say. “If I didn’t find something wrong, I wouldn’t break it off, and then I’d still be seeing them and wouldn’t have gone on this date to begin with.”
“Right.” Kat nods her head. “But you don’t think you’re a little hard on them?”
“No, I don’t. You know just as well as I do, most guys are boring as fuck. I get tired of them easily, they can’t carry a conversation, there’s no banter, and I just don’t want to waste my time spending time with them. I want someone who challenges me, not someone who is—”
“The tar to your bulldozer?” Lexie suggests.
“Good one, Lex,” Kat says.
“Haha,” I say. “Note the lack of humor in my tone.”
“Well, it’s a good metaphor for you where relationships are concerned,” Kat says.
“Kat, the sex sucked.”
“I get that,” Kat agrees. “And I know it’s going to seem like I’m trying to sprinkle my happy relationship dust all over everyone else, but when are you going to give a guy a decent shot?”
“What do you mean? I always give them a shot,” I say, not quite believing what they’re saying.
“Really? What happened with Alex?” Lexie asks, joining in.
“It just wasn’t there. We’re much better off as friends,” I say.
“If I think back, I’m pretty sure that it’s always ‘not there’ for you, with a guy, usually right after you have sex with them for the first time. This is just the first time you tapped out in the middle,” Kat says.
“Wow, make me sound like a slut why don’t you?” I say. Even though I can totally acknowledge that what she says is true.
“No, not a slut. But definitely someone who never goes back for seconds, shit, sometimes not even firsts. No matter what. I think you just have a problem with sticktuitiveness,” Kat says.
“Is that even a word?” I stand up and start to pace.
“Kat’s right,” Lexie says. “You never go back for seconds.”
“Rem, you go through guys faster than babies go through diapers,” Kat says.
Lexie snorts a laugh. “That’s a good one, Kat.”
“Thanks, Lex,” Kat smiles.
“You guys are exaggerating,” I say, trying to recall if there’s any truth in that part of what they are saying.
“I don't think we are,” Kat says.
“Me neither,” Lexie seconds.
“But, if we are, then you won’t mind making a little wager,” Kat says.
“What do you mean little wager?” I ask.
“You know, a wager, a challenge, a bet,” Kat says.
“Ooooh, I like it!” Lexie claps her hands.
“Come on.” I drag out the words and roll my eyes.
“I'm going to bet,” Kat says. “That you can't stick with the same guy for more than two weeks.”
“Of course I can do that, don't be ridiculous. I was with Alex for longer than that.”
“Only because he was gone the entire time and it was long-distance,” Lexie says.
“That doesn't matter, I could still do it.”
“Okay, that's too easy then. What about a month?”
“Piece of cake,” I say.
“Right, except that you have to go out on a date with them at least once a week for the whole month,” Kat clarifies.
“Oh, that’s good, Kat,” Lexie says.
“I can't do that,” I protest. “Not with my work schedule, you know that. My lab trials take precedence.”
Lexie begins to cluck like a chicken in response. I glare at the computer screen in return, hoping she realizes I’m giving her a dirty look.
Kat just stays silent. I hate it when she does that. She’s good with those uncomfortable silences that most people want to rush and fill with talking and noise. She’s the only one who can get me to start talking during them.
“Fine,” I cave. “I will find a guy to date for one month.”
“I have a better idea,” Kat continues. “Since Alex is such a great guy, and you want to set him up with your Yoga instructor, why don't you tell him you want to set him up, and then ask him to set you up with someone at the same time.”
“You’re the devil.” I narrow my eyes at her.
Kat stays silent and Lexie pretends to look at her nails.
“You want me to set Alex up with my Yoga instructor? Nobody likes blind dates,” I say.
“I love blind dates.” Lexie dances about in her seat as she says it.
“You also love presents and surprises,” I glare at Lexie’s image on the screen.
“Exactly!” Lexie says.
“Well?” Kat asks.
“So, just to confirm, you want me to set Alex up on a blind date? And then ask him to set me up on a blind date in return?” I ask.
“Yes!” Kat is clearly getting excited at the idea. “You guys can double.”
“A double-blind date sounds like a bad Rom-Com,” I moan.
“It sounds like an awesome Rom-Com!” Lexie gushes, clearly a lot happier about it than I am.
“You’re just agreeing with everything Kat says,” I say to Lexie.
She shrugs her shoulders in return.
“Fine. I will call Alex and tell him I want him to set me up in return for my setting him up. Happy?”
“Very,” Kat sighs.
Lexie just claps her hands, a huge grin overtaking her face.
“So, what do I get if I do this?”
“We’ll never bug you about it again,” Kat says.
“And if I don’t go through with it?”
“You’ve got to donate your Louboutin’s to a homeless woman on the street,” Lexie declares.
“That’s perfect!” Kat says.
“Jeez. Harsh. When did you get such brass balls?” I ask Lexie. She just smirks.
“It’s perfect!” Kat cries.
“And you’ve got to set it up this week.” Lexie pounds the final nail in my coffin.
Fuck me.
“Fine,” I say. “I’ll reach out to Alex and have a date set up before the weekend.”
I log off the chat session without saying goodbye. I know it’s petty. But I feel bested by Kat and that pisses me off. Just because she’s all happy in a relationship, doesn’t mean everyone else has to be.
Chapter 4
Remi
Lexie and I get ready together for the Law Enforcement Annual Ball. It’s not an event either of us would ordinarily attend, but tonight is special. Kat is getting engaged to her
boyfriend, Brad.
Again.
Only she doesn’t know it.
Brad has arranged dates for both Lexie and I so we can attend and surprise her. We’ll be the first surprise, and Brad’s proposal will be the second. Even though I have no desire to go anywhere near the institution of marriage, I’m excited for Kat. Brad is a really good guy and such an amazing partner for her.
It’s only because Brad is proposing that I let him talk me in to attending the ball with Kat’s sometimes law enforcement partner, Chance Bauer. And she’s only a sometimes partner because she’s on an indefinite leave of absence from all work. Chance and I knew one another briefly in college, and I’ve had an intense dislike for him since. But, because of his connection to Kat, I run into him from time to time.
I’ll admit that he’s good-looking, but he knows it. And once upon a time, I found him attractive enough to almost fuck him. I saved myself by vomiting on him instead. That’s a story for another time.
Tonight, I need to focus on being civil to him, for Kat’s sake and making sure she has the perfect night. She deserves it.
Even though tonight is for Kat, I still feel the need to make sure I look amazing at the ball. Better than amazing.
Drop. Fucking. Dead. Gorgeous.
I want Chance Bauer’s little head to explode when he sees me.
I see no need to examine my rationale behind that feeling too much, however.
The event is semi-formal, so I got a new dress. One that can fit with a variety of dress codes. I like styles from the 1950s, if I had to pick a fashion icon, Dita Von Teese would fit the bill. In true Dita fashion, my hair is pinned back in victory rolls, eyes are lined like a cat, and my lips are red to match my dress.
A gathered, red wiggle dress with a crossover neck, three-quarter sleeves, and a slit up the back. My legs are bare, as are my ass and tits, this dress can’t afford any lines under it. Black peep-toe stilettos complete the look.
“Wow,” Lexie exclaims when she sees me, her eyes wide. “All I can say is wow.”
I look at myself in the full-length mirror, trying to be both objective and critical at the same time. I have to agree, I look good. I may detest Chance, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want him to eat his heart out. So to speak.
Lexie, on the other hand, is almost my polar opposite. While my look screams Hollywood siren, hers screams sexy punk-rock pixie. Her black strapless baby doll dress fits her personality to a tee with the full tulle skirt, large glitter belt, patterned tights, and stiletto ankle boots, she is ready to rock. She’s petite so she can easily pull off a mini with tulle. We styled her pink hair in little spikey knots on either side of her head, gave her a black smoky eye, and a nude lip. She’s perfection personified.
“Back at you, Lex. You look positively edible.” I wink. “I’d do you.” And I would too, if Lexie were into it and I could guarantee it wouldn’t completely fuck up our friendship. I’m not bisexual, I would consider myself to be more fluid with my sexuality. Basing it on attraction to the person more than anything else. And I find Lexie attractive. But, not only is Lexie not into chicks, she’s a relationship girl. And if there’s one thing I do not do, it’s relationships.
My doorbell rings.
“That’s either Ethan or Chance,” I say.
At the same time that Brad arranged for me to attend with Chance, he arranged for Lexie to attend with his SSFD partner, Ethan. There was a time I thought Ethan and Lexie would make a cute pair, but Lex is slow to get involved. Even more so than me. I suspect Ethan would have her in a heartbeat, he makes no secret that he’s had a crush on her for a while.
I open the door to find Ethan on the front stoop. I eye him up and down appreciatively, after all, he was once the cover model for the annual firefighter calendar. Brad was as well. Both men are worthy of appreciative stares. Tonight, Ethan’s blonde hair is slicked back, making it look a shade darker, giving his all-American boy look an edge. Between that, and his perpetual surfer boy tan, his green eyes pop.
“Hello, handsome.” I smile.
“Hey gorgeous.” He leans in to kiss my cheek.
Lexie comes bounding up behind us. “Hey, date!”
Ethan looks up at her, his eyes lighting up when he sees her. “Lexie, you take my breath away.” He grabs her hand and kisses the back of it, bowing slightly at her. “How about we go right now? Ride into the sunset, rescue dogs, have babies, drink wine, and live happily ever after. What do you say?” The look on his face hopeful.
She giggles at him and pats his chest. “I’m not the girl for you, E.”
“You could be,” he says.
She leans in to give him a hug, and I catch him taking a quick whiff of her hair. Man, he’s got it bad.
“Ready?” Lexie asks him.
“Your chariot awaits, my love.” Ethan motions toward the open door.
“Rem, you want us to wait for you?” Lexie turns back to face me.
“No, Chance will be here any minute.”
They leave and I close the door after them. Then check the time and see that Ethan was a few minutes early to pick up Lexie. Probably couldn’t stand the wait. Poor guy. My luck, Chance will be late.
I smooth my hands over my hips and glance quickly in the mirror again.
You look fine. Better than fine.
I hear the motorcycle before I see it.
He wouldn’t dare.
I open the front door and watch as Chance pulls up in front of my house. He takes his helmet off and shakes his head. With the sun setting behind him, he reminds me of the cover of a romance novel. A little scruffy, a bit broody, and a lot beautiful. Kat thinks he looks like Bradley Cooper from the A-Team movie. I don’t see it.
But then again, I still picture him as the cocky college kid I met first. He’d reminded me of a young Paul Walker, from the first Fast and Furious movie. Complete with the twinkling eyes and cocky, confident smile. It was why I’d been attracted to him back then. His confidence and sense of self had been almost intoxicating. And then there was his kiss.
Gah!
I can’t think about that right now.
I study him as he comes up the front walk. He looks like he shaved this morning, ‘cause there’s a bit of beard shadowing his face. But his tuxedo fits him like a glove. A really nice glove. Maybe satin. Like sheets that you can slide all over and bury yourself in. He smiles when he sees me. I cock a hip and lean against the doorjamb.
“Fuck, Ice Q. You sure know how to dress for the occasion.” He uses the nickname that I hate.
“Is that a compliment?” I ask.
“It is,” he says, looking me down, and then up again. Slowing his gaze at my hips and stopping at my chest.
“Eyes up here, big boy.” I point at my eyes.
“Nuh uh,” he says, still staring at my chest with a smile.
“Neanderthal.”
“That’s me, ice baby.”
“Stop calling me that,” I snap.
“Can’t stop saying what I know to be true.” He finally looks me in the eye.
Have his eyes always been that beautiful?
I stare at him a little longer than is probably necessary.
Fuck, get it together, Remi!
“Are we leaving, or are you going to stare at me all day?” I ask.
“I’m happy with either.”
“I vote for leaving. Please tell me you don’t expect me to ride on that thing?” I point to the motorcycle on the street.
“I don’t expect you to ride on that thing.”
“Thank God,” I breathe.
“Of course, we’re riding on that thing.”
“Um, have you seen me? No thank you. I’ll drive.”
“I have seen you, you look positively edible,” he says, using my same line from earlier. “And you can’t drive.”
“Why?”
“Well, one because I’m being a gentleman and picking you up. And two because your best friend is getting engaged tonight and you want
to be able to celebrate with her. And if you’re driving, you won’t be able to do that.”
“If that happens, you can just drive my car home.”
“Are you afraid of my beast, Ice Q?”
“Pfft. No.”
“Well then.” He gestures to the motorcycle.
“It’s going to mess up my hair.” I pat my head lightly, knowing by touch that all the hairs are in exactly the right place.
“I never took you for the high maintenance type.”
“I’m not high maintenance,” I say. But I can hear a bit of a whine in my voice that disgusts me.
“I’m not high maintenance,” he mimics in a high-pitched voice that is definitely a whine.
“Fine.” I grab my clutch, lock the door, and walk ahead of him toward the motorcycle. “Let’s go.”
“I gotta say, Icy, the view is just as good from the back.” He lets out a wolf whistle. I can’t help but smile, glad that he can’t see my face.
We get to the bike, he pulls a leather jacket and a helmet out of the saddlebag and hands them to me. “Here, put these on.”
I put on the jacket and carefully arrange the helmet around my hair. If I look like shit after this, I’m going to kill him. He gets on the bike, then puts out his hand to help me get on behind him.
“How did you expect this to work, exactly?” I motion to the seat and then to my dress.
“Hmmm.” He looks me up and down thoughtfully. “Well, I think you’re just going to have to hitch it up and straddle me tight.”
“Excuse me?”
“Hitch up the dress and climb on.”
“I’m not wearing anything underneath,” I hiss.
His eyes darken, and he looks to where my underwear would have been, had I been wearing them. He licks his lips, and I can’t tell if it’s intentional or not. A little shiver goes through me.
Rein it the fuck in, Remi. You are not attracted to this guy. You just had a tap out situation and you’re feeling a little desperate.
Knowing that he’s watching, I take my time hitching up my dress to a length that is close to illegal. His eyes never leave the edge of my gown, following it all the way up my thighs. I flick him in the head to get his attention.
“Ow! That was unnecessary.”
“But effective.”
