Lost Omega

by Caitlin Ricci

  But he knew what Isaiah was getting at too. “You’re not going to be leaving, unless you want to go to another pack. I know you don’t believe me. I know you don’t believe Sam. You don’t know what we do, you don’t have that sense that we do. I don’t know if you never had it, or if you would have had it if someone had taught you how to use it when you were younger. I don’t know how much of what you’re missing is instinct or not.”

  Isaiah opened his mouth as if he wanted to add something, but Marcus held up a hand. He just wanted to get this out first, then he’d listen to anything Isaiah wanted to tell him. “But say we’re wrong. Say you’re human, we’re mistaken about what we think we know, and say you’re the only right one here. That still makes you a human who knows about werewolves. That’s makes us vulnerable. So even if you were human, you’d still have a place with us. I’m not saying you’re a prisoner, I’m saying you’re a welcome guest who will be fed, and clothed, and housed for as long as you want. Human or not, you’re home.”

  Isaiah leaned over and kissed him. Marcus was perfectly aware of the conversations that stopped, but he still put his hand against Isaiah’s cheek and he still opened his mouth for the gentle sweep of Isaiah’s tongue.

  Marcus let Isaiah pull away first, and when his gaze met Sam’s, she looked thoughtful. Then she nodded and went back to eating her pie. The others slowly resumed eating as well, though the looks continued.

  “Thank you for that,” Isaiah mumbled.

  Marcus nodded. “You’re welcome.” Isaiah was a werewolf, whether he knew it or not, but Sam was right. So what if he couldn’t ever shift? So what if he was convinced that he was human and refused to believe anything else? There really was no harm in that at all.

  That night, well after the others had all gone home, Marcus sat with Isaiah on his tiny porch. They both had their feet up on the railing.

  There was a chill in the air, thanks to a cold front coming through and just the general dampness of fall in the Ozarks. Isaiah had a blanket wrapped around himself. Marcus was thinking about getting one as well, but he was okay waiting for a little while yet.

  “What’s going on with Ella?” Isaiah asked him.

  Marcus frowned. He’d thought any questions about her would have been asked at dinner. “She’s just a wolf. Sometimes when something bad happens, the wolf is easier to be than the person. She was Sam’s wife. Now she’s a wolf.” Isaiah didn’t need to know more than that. It was enough.

  But Isaiah shook his head. “No. There’s more. I know that. Why was she checking me out? Was it because I was with Sam? Is she some jealous ex that’s going to be hanging around me?”

  Marcus laughed at that, even though he shouldn’t have. Ella wasn’t someone to laugh about. “No. Ella was probably just curious about you. She was an omega. She was beautiful and kind, and I have no idea what she saw in Sam, who can be rough and cranky. But they did love each other. Ella liked to go to town, though. She liked to go by herself, sneak away to go get new seeds from the garden center, or go get special cakes for Sam. It was never an issue. We have a few cars and we have a cell phone for everyone to use when they leave in case the car breaks down or whatever.”

  Those had been good times, and he hoped Sam still remembered them and smiled once in a while. “One day something bad happened to her. Sam never told me, but Ella was never the same again. A few months later she shifted and left. About a week after that we started to see her in the woods. She mostly hangs around Sam, but that’s not the Ella that we all knew. She’s a wolf, not a werewolf. You’re not in danger with her, but she’s not someone who will ever shift and have a conversation with you, despite what Sam might hope for.”

  Isaiah pulled the blanket tighter around himself. “Shit.”

  Marcus nodded.

  “Why didn’t you ever find out what happened? You could have done something.”

  Yes, he could have, but that wasn’t what Ella would have wanted. “If she wanted me to do something, she would have told me enough to get me to that point. If she’d ever said Marcus, this is what happened and this is what I need you to do about it, then I would have done it. Absolutely. My assumption is that she was raped. But I can’t prove it, and Sam has never said anything to me about it. For all I know Sam could have known exactly what happened and who was involved and taken revenge herself. I don’t monitor everyone when they go out.”

  “I hate some people,” Isaiah grumbled.

  Marcus completely agreed with him. “I’m going to go get a blanket, do you want anything?”

  Isaiah shook his head and Marcus headed inside. When he came back out, Ella was sitting in front of his cabin, just watching Isaiah. “Hey,” Marcus called to her. He expected her to acknowledge him, but she didn’t even twitch an ear in his direction.

  “She never was my biggest fan,” he said as he retook his seat and wrapped the blanket around himself.

  “Why not?” Isaiah asked as he looked between the two of them.

  Marcus didn’t have a definite answer for him, just a lot of little guesses. “I think it’s because she wanted Sam to be the alpha, but Sam has no interest in it. She just wants to be left alone unless she’s needed. She’s got the dominance for it, but not the compassion. That’s why she makes a great second-in-command.”

  “I feel like she’s trying to tell me something.”

  “Maybe she is. Maybe she’s just been waiting for the next omega to come along so that she had someone to talk to. Omegas like the two of you are special. I can’t order you around. You don’t even have to listen to me if you don’t want to. I tell you not to do something, and you could just give me the finger and do it anyway. That kind of independence, that chosen loyalty rather than instinctual—that’s amazing,” Marcus said. He smiled at Ella. Her tail twitched at least, so maybe she was listening to him.

  Marcus grew quiet as Ella came up and joined them on the porch. She was careful not to touch him, but she pushed her nose into Isaiah’s hand. Marcus had no idea what she was doing, or what she could possibly want from him, but he was quiet as he watched them. His input wasn’t needed. His approval wasn’t either. Ella had always done whatever she wanted to, and Marcus was pretty sure that Isaiah would be the same way. It was what he loved about omegas. Their care was genuine. Their loyalty was, too. No other werewolf had influence over them, so each action that they took, each choice that they made, that was completely of their own volition. And in a pack, that kind of independence was a beautiful thing. It kept the others honest. It kept Marcus honest.

  Ella only stayed with them for a few minutes, but when she left, Isaiah had to wipe away a few tears from his cheeks.

  “What is it?” Marcus asked.

  Isaiah shrugged. “I dunno. I just got really sad all of a second. Can she make other people sad?”

  “I have no idea.” Maybe she could. Maybe that was just one more thing that omegas could do that he had no idea about. He’d never known Ella to be able to do that before, but he’d never seen her interact with another omega, either.

  Isaiah yawned and slipped further under his blankets. Marcus was sure he was tired. He had to be. Sam had told him about what a great job he’d done, along with messages from two members of the pack who had already decided Isaiah was more approachable than he was. “You should go to bed.”

  Isaiah nodded. “Sure. More planting tomorrow?”

  “No. You all knocked them out today. I’m very thankful. Tomorrow you could rest if you wanted to, or you could help paint some interior walls.”

  “I’ll paint.” Isaiah yawned again, and Marcus got up to help him to bed.

  He left Isaiah on the futon and went to his own room. He was tired, but not yet ready for bed. Isaiah went into the shower and Marcus got under his blankets. He slipped down his pants and wrapped his hand around the base of his shaft. He’d been thinking about the kiss with Isaiah since dinner. The warmth of his mouth, the push of his tongue between his lips. He hadn�
��t been hard, but he knew he could get there easily. Marcus wouldn’t normally jerk off with someone else in the cabin to hear him, but Isaiah wouldn’t have to know if he was quick about it.

  He kept one hand on his shaft and pushed the other under his shirt. His nipples were sensitive, and playing with them was the quickest way to get him off. He was trembling in no time and chewing on his lower lip to keep his moans under control.

  Marcus was almost there when he heard Isaiah coming down the hallway. With a small grumble, he fixed his clothes and hoped his face wasn’t too red. The door was open, and Isaiah stopped in the doorway.

  “You didn’t have to stop,” he said.

  Marcus’s lips twitched up in a smile. “You weren’t supposed to hear. It’s okay, I can wait until I’m alone again.”

  Isaiah shrugged. “You weren’t moaning or anything, but the bed was moving, and I heard clothes moving about too, and yeah, I’m not dumb. I know when someone is getting off. What were you thinking about?”

  “Kissing you.”

  Isaiah didn’t look surprised at that. “Do you want to have sex then?”

  Marcus definitely did, but he still thought it was too early. “Not yet. You need more time.”

  “Can I watch you, then? Maybe we can get off together.”

  Marcus groaned. He wasn’t made of stone, and Isaiah was offering. He scooted over on the bed to make more room for him and lifted up the blanket so that he could share it too. It had been a long time since he’d jerked off with someone else, but he wasn’t against it.

  Isaiah got deep under the covers and moved around a bit. When he stopped, Marcus saw a tent in the blanket. He reached down and felt Isaiah’s bare stomach, then the skin of his hip.

  “You can touch me if you want to,” Isaiah said.

  Marcus did want to. He wanted to have Isaiah under him with his thighs wrapped around his waist and his cock deep in Isaiah’s ass. But he was trying to give Isaiah time, even if he didn’t seem like he really wanted it. Still, there was no harm in touching him. He ran his fingers gently over Isaiah’s shaft and then pushed between his legs to cup his soft balls.

  Isaiah’s hand on his hip was a surprise, but not as much as the firm grasp he took of Marcus’s cock. He groaned at the pressure, and Isaiah chuckled.

  Stroking each other like this wasn’t exactly easy. It was more awkward than anything, but it was something. It wasn’t nearly enough, but Marcus liked it all the same. There wasn’t much not to like about an attractive man that he cared about giving him a hand job.

  He wanted more, though. Despite what he’d said and how careful he was trying to be, he wanted more from Isaiah than just his hand. And he wanted to give him more than just his hand, too. He pushed the blankets down a little and sat up just long enough that he was able to lie back down again, but this time with his head toward the foot of the bed.

  “You can do whatever you want,” Marcus explained to him. “But I’d like to taste you, if you’ll let me.”

  Isaiah’s eyes were wide, but he was smiling. “I’m negative. Testing was free and they gave out snacks and tons of condoms so...” He shrugged.

  “We’re immune to human sicknesses, too,” Marcus said a moment before he slipped his lips over Isaiah’s swollen head. His skin was smooth, and he tasted fresh and clean from his shower. Marcus sucked him gently. There was no reason to rush. They had nowhere to be and nothing to worry about. After a few moments Isaiah took Marcus’s cock into his mouth as well.

  This was far better. The gentle sucking. The getting to share in each other’s warmth. Marcus ran his hands over Isaiah’s side and down his thigh. He touched him everywhere that he could, remembering what he felt like and taking in the gentle sounds that he made as he gave pleasure and got it as well.

  He pushed Isaiah’s shirt up, curious to see if he was sensitive too, only to have him squirm away before he could do much more than pinch his nipple. Maybe he was ticklish.

  Marcus didn’t take him very deep. He didn’t try to force his mouth down on Isaiah’s slim cock. He focused on his hand and on his balls as he stroked Isaiah’s shaft. He was glad that Isaiah did the same. There was no need for more. Not for them. Not tonight, at least.

  Isaiah jerked against him as he came. Marcus ran his hands gently over Isaiah’s hips and thighs. It was good to be connected to him like this. To love him like this. He lay on his back and held Isaiah’s hand. Moments later he came as well, and Isaiah leaned over him to clean him off.

  It was late, but now they were both awake as they fixed their clothes and lay in the narrow bed. “Thank you,” Marcus mumbled.

  Isaiah lay his head over Marcus’s stomach. “I’ve been thinking about the whole being-a-werewolf, not-being-a-werewolf thing. You said getting high wouldn’t work, and I know that. But what else is there?”

  Marcus didn’t really know what to tell him, because without being able to shift there wasn’t a whole lot that was different about them and humans. “Does it matter?”

  “To you it seems to. You keep telling me I’m one of you all.”

  He was right, but Marcus just shrugged and ran his hand down Isaiah’s chest. “You are one of us, werewolf or not. We’ve accepted you, and you’re part of this pack now.”

  Isaiah nodded, but he still looked like something was bothering him. “Too bad you can’t just bite me and make me shift or something. That would be kind of cool.”

  Marcus laughed. “Yeah, it really doesn’t work like that.” He wasn’t tired, but he did have to get up early. “Are you staying in here, or going back to your room now?”

  Isaiah propped himself up on his elbow. “Sex isn’t complicated for you all, huh?”

  Marcus shook his head. “It’s really not. Sure, if you’re in a committed relationship, then yes, this might be an issue unless you have an understanding with whoever you’re with, but having fun isn’t complicated for us. Remember when I said that we’re all pretty touchy here? It’s the same thing.”

  “I like that. Fun without strings, without complications. Without pain.”

  Marcus sat up and kissed him. “There can be pain if you want there to be, but sex is a lot easier here than what you’re probably used to. We’re just much more laid back.” He lay down and got comfortable again. Isaiah was still across from him, and he hadn’t said if he was staying the night or not. “I’m going to bed. Decide if you want to stay here or not tonight, please.”

  Isaiah snorted. “I’m staying. I like being near you, even if this bed is way too small for both of us.”

  It wasn’t going to get any bigger, so he’d just have to get over that. Though it was really nice to have Isaiah in his arms as he snuggled up against him. “Goodnight.”

  “Night.”

  Marcus fell asleep quickly, though he was pretty sure that Isaiah was still awake.

  * * * *

  There was a noise in front of the cabin, loud enough to wake Isaiah, although Marcus didn’t seem bothered by it. Isaiah had no idea what he was doing as he slipped out of bed hours later to go investigate a noise. It was probably nothing, and even if it was, what was he really going to be able to do about it?

  He went outside and found Ella sitting on the porch. She looked up at him, then turned away. Sighing, he sat down in the empty chair beside her. “I should be in bed,” he grumbled. He was tired, he needed more sleep, and the bed was warm, very much unlike the cold night around him.

  Ella jumped up onto the chair beside him and shifted. She stretched her arms over her head, yawned, then looked over at him.

  “I can get you a blanket or something if you want,” Isaiah offered. She was naked, after all.

  But Ella shook her head. “Don’t want to wake Marcus. And don’t tell the others about me shifting back either, please. I’m doing this for you—they don’t need to know that I’m still capable of this. It’s not something that’ll ever happen again, so listen carefully. Okay?”

  Isai
ah nodded. He was completely awake now, and she had his full attention.

  “Marcus doesn’t know how to make you see what you are because you’re not under him. You’re not someone he can control, and so he doesn’t know what to do with you. I was an easy omega. I knew my role and I loved it.”

  “I don’t even know if I’m a werewolf though,” Isaiah protested. He wasn’t completely against the idea anymore, but he didn’t want anyone to get their hopes up if he really was just a human.

  “Close your eyes. This may hurt, and I need you to not cry out, but I do need to show you something. Omega to omega, I can show you the truth of who you are like no one else in this pack is capable of doing.”

  He had no idea what she wanted to do to him, and he really didn’t trust her much, but he did want to know who he was. So he held out his hand and closed his eyes. Her hand was cold against his. Then there was bright warmth, followed by a pain that tingled along his skin. He bit his lip to keep from making any sounds.

  Then the knowing came. The smell of pine needles and tall grasses. Of a fresh catch between his teeth. The warm dirt beneath his paws. He was breathless from running, a dozen other wolves all around him. The pain of a shift rushed through him, but the freedom of being in his other form as he chased after the others made the pain more bearable.

  His parents. He felt cold tears on his cheeks as he felt them pressing against him. These weren’t memories. They couldn’t have been. But he knew them all the same. Their noses against his neck, the warmth of them crowding up against him.

  The pain he felt next wasn’t part of the vision. This was real, and his eyes shot open with the force of it. He fell clumsily to his knees and looked to Ella for help, but she was already shifting back.

  And, as he looked down at his hands, he realized that he was shifting right along with her. His whimpered cries of pain ended on a choking, high-pitched howl that he was embarrassed to have be his first sounds as a wolf.