“It’s not far.” He stopped and studied her. “I can hitch up the wagon if you’re tired.”
His willingness to make things easier for her endeared him to her, and she shook her head. “I can walk.”
He offered his arm, and she put her hand in the crook of it. “I like to get there early so I can get a good seat.”
“How many people attend?”
“Most of the people on the ranch. The numbers add up.”
“Don’t you have a reserved spot in the front?”
He shook his head. “We’re all equal here. People can sit where they please. If you’re late, there might be standing room only.”
Did they allow people to sit wherever they wanted? Didn’t the rich sit up front? Oh my, that would be interesting.
Ross guided her up the church steps and there were plenty of people already seated, but he found them a pew near the front. She turned her head this way and that trying to take it all in. White and black, rich and poor were mixed.
It was a lovely service, and she thought she felt God in her heart like the preacher spoke about. Ross shared the hymnal book with her, and she sang. These were the songs of her childhood. Then it ended all too soon.
“Hello.” The dark-skinned woman next to her touched her sleeve. “I’m Letty.”
“It’s very nice to meet you.” She offered a tentative smile. “I’m Mary Beth.”
“Yes, I know. This may seem to be a strange request, but I heard you need help learnin’ to cook. My two daughters Hannah and Betsy want to learn how to sing. You have such a beautiful voice, I thought we could do a trade.”
“A trade?”
Letty beamed. “Yes. I will teach you to cook, and you help my girls sing.”
“I—”
Ross leaned around Mary Beth. “How soon would you like to start?”
“Tomorrow would work. I can come while the children are at school and then after school they could go to your house and sing.”
“Wonderful! We’ll see you tomorrow. Thanks, Letty,” Ross said with a grin.
Letty and her family filed out of the pew to the left and Ross led Mary Beth out to the right.
They said hello to Reverend Shaw and exited. When they got down the steps, she expected to see their neighbors, but they were already walking home together as a group. Her heart hurt. She knew they didn’t like her, but to treat Ross like this wasn’t right.
In fact, no one stopped to say hello or to comment on their new marriage. It was as though they were invisible. She snuck a peek at Ross, but he didn’t seem to notice.
The baby moved, but she didn’t have anyone who wanted to know. She’d been right all these years in pushing people away before they could reject her. It was as though a part of her withered inside. She’d never have a chance to say the things she had rehearsed in her head again and again last night.
* * *
Carter couldn’t help but notice Mary Beth’s sadness. He’d been as kind to her as he could. Maybe she didn’t want to learn to cook after all. He took her hand and gave it a slight squeeze as he walked with her to their house. She never uttered a word the whole walk. Was it teaching Letty’s girls to sing that was the problem? Her daughters knew how to sing, Letty was just giving Mary Beth a way to barter to make her feel better.
Silently, he sighed. Wives were more difficult to figure out than he’d thought. She might be upset she didn’t get to talk to the other married women. Perhaps she wanted a hen party.
“Mary Beth, are you upset I accepted Letty’s offer and didn’t allow you to make up your own mind? You do have a very pretty singing voice. I’m sorry, I should have trusted you to make the decision you thought best.”
“I’m fine.”
He opened the door for her and she practically ran into the bedroom. He shrugged and got out of his good clothes. Things needed to change. He needed to make his peace with her and forgive her lies. He waited for her to come out, but she didn’t. He didn’t want a marriage that consisted of her closing the door on him.
He opened the door and found her on the bed in her chemise and pantalets weeping. A touch of sadness washed over him at the sight, and he lay next to her and pulled her to him. It was as if she didn’t have the will to resist him. She turned until he spooned her from behind, and when he wrapped his arms around her middle, her pregnancy was clear. His heart skipped a beat. She was with child, and he had thought her to be a liar. He’d been as standoffish as he could, and he’d passed judgement on her. He didn’t know what to do. He rubbed her protruding stomach. He’d heard somewhere that women cry a lot when expecting, and he’d added to it.
“Everything will be fine. I’m here with you. Tell me how to comfort you.”
She turned again until they lay on their sides facing each other, but she ducked her head so he couldn’t see her eyes. “They hate me, Ross. I deserve it, but I had thought they’d at least wait for us so we could all walk back together. Your friends are staying away from you because of me. I’m a horrible person.”
He stroked her hair, enjoying the feel of it, like silk hanging down her back. “A horrible person? I’ve never heard anyone say such a thing. I’d think those words would be saved for criminals, not because someone made a mistake. They usually hurry home because the kids are cranky or something. I heard a baby crying in the church.”
“Truly? You think that’s why they all hurried off without us?” Her gaze met his, and the hope in her eyes tugged at his heart.
“I truly believe it. This isn’t like a town. We need each other to stay alive. Georgie is good with a gun, they have told me. By employing, housing, and schooling the freedmen, there are enemies out there who would rather we were all dead. We watch each other’s backs,” he spoke as gently as he could.
He was amazed by how having her in his arms brought him a sense of peace he hadn’t had since before the war. He hadn’t given that aspect of marriage too much thought. He’d thought eventually… or if it happened sooner that would be good too. He never imagined holding her could make his heart beat faster.
“I’ll teach you how to shoot. It’s a necessity to be able to protect yourself and your little one when he comes along.”
“You haven’t asked about the baby before.”
“I wasn’t really sure you were expecting. I thought maybe you loved Willis and wanted him to marry you.” He grimaced at the admission. “I thought wrongly of you, and I’m sorry. I’ll wait for you to tell me when you’re ready.”
She nodded and cleared her throat. “There is a lecherous man who lives in Button Hills. He was supposed to be tried and sent to prison, but he’s the judge’s nephew. I only knew that he was found not guilty. I really thought him innocent, plus I figured I could protect myself. I even went on a picnic with him. Rumors started about the two of us, but they weren’t true. One afternoon—” She choked, crimson seeping into her cheeks. “One day he followed me home, and when I was almost there, he dragged me into the woods.” She stared at the floor. “It was the worst thing that ever happened to me. And my father didn’t believe me. He could see what had happened but refused to listen. My father is a friend of the judge’s so my word didn’t count for much.” She glanced up briefly but looked away.
“I came home with a torn dress, and a lot of bruises. I was bleeding from a cut over my eye, and my hair was a tangled mess. But my father insisted it wasn’t Leon and I must have instigated whatever happened. Of course no one talked about it and I didn’t realize I was with child until I was almost three months gone. I told my father and well here I am. My father thought I was still seeing Lexington. I told him Lexington was long gone, but he still believed him to be the father of my child.” She gulped in a deep breath. “Iris was attacked by the same man but Lexington saved her.”
Carter put his hand under her chin and turned her head so he could see her eyes. “I’m so sorry that happened to you. It must have been terrifying. I can’t imagine how you felt when your father told you to l
eave.” He drew a breath. “You did nothing wrong. We’ll have this baby and raise him. I will be his father.” He pledged. “My love, I wish I could take all your worries away.”
A shaky smile tilted her lips upward. “You’ve taken many of them away today.”
Someone knocked at the door.
“Perfect timing,” he grumbled. “I’ll get that.” He got off the bed and hurried to the front door.
Noah Ward stood there. “Ward? What did you need?”
“Did you forget?”
Carter tilted his head. “Forget what?”
“The wedding cake and coffee. I told you it was to be an hour after church in the courtyard.”
“Ward, if you told me, I would have remembered.”
“Aw, shucks.” Ward wiped his hand down his face. “Fletcher was right. He said I didn’t tell you but I could have sworn I did.”
“We’ll get ready and be there in a few minutes.”
Ward looked anxious. “You won’t tell anyone I forgot, will you?”
“Don’t worry. I won’t say a word.”
Ward smiled. “See ya soon.”
Carter pumped cooled water into a bowl and grabbed a clean cloth. Mary Beth cocked her brow at him when he walked into the bedroom with the items.
“Who was it?”
He grinned. “You’ll want to put the cold cloth against your eyes. You probably don’t want everyone to see you were crying.”
“Everyone?”
He wet the cloth, wrung it out and handed it to Mary Beth. “They’re having a party for us with a wedding cake, but Ward forgot to invite us.”
Her eyes widened as she took the cloth and pressed it against her eyes. “How can anyone forget to invite the guests of honor to a party?” Without lowering the cloth, she ran a hand over her chemise. “I just need to put a dress on and fix my hair. Thank goodness you didn’t take off your clothes and throw them everywhere.”
He looked down at his clothes. He’d changed from his church duds. Should he change back? It seemed like a lot of effort, and at least what he’d put on was clean. Besides, everyone would probably be watching Mary Beth. He glanced at her, and the ends of his mouth turned up. She couldn’t see him with the cloth on her eyes. What a relief. He wasn’t sure how he would have broached the subject of the wives with the others. He wanted Mary Beth to have friends. He was in new territory and hadn’t caught his bearings yet.
He watched her dress. She was too preoccupied to ask him to leave. She was beautiful. The skin on her arms was so white, and he knew how soft it felt. He could make out the shape of her legs, and he turned his gaze to the wall. It felt wrong to look at her in such a way without her knowing.
Finally, she was ready and she was very becoming in her dusky pink dress. Her hair was swept up into what looked to be an intricate style. Best of all she wore a smile.
“You are beautiful, Mary Beth. See I told you, there is no way you’re a horrible person. At times I find you adorable.” He stood and took both her hands in his. “I’ll be proud to have you at my side.”
Her blush filled his heart. “We’d best go,” he murmured.
She stared into his eyes and nodded. “Yes, let’s go.”
Chapter Five
Mary Beth was enjoying herself. She actually had friends and their smiles weren’t pretend. She felt as though she was glowing. She did a lot of listening, asked questions and didn’t give her opinion. She certainly didn’t want them to think her a snob again or a horrible person.
“How far along are you, Mary Beth?” Veronica asked.
“Just about four months.” Her face heated. Her glow of happiness was replaced with embarrassment.
“Babies are a blessing,” Iris said in a joyful voice.
“I’ll need someone to teach me how to sew. I need to make baby things.”
Georgie smiled. “I can do that.”
“She’s a wonderful sewing teacher,” Glory vouched.
“Letty is going to teach me how to cook, and I will work with her girls on singing.”
Iris smiled and shook her head. “I knew you weren’t paying attention when I showed you.”
“I wasted your time, and I’m sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking. I’ve been spoiled all my life and didn’t think I needed to cook. I laugh at my assumption now. I want to be part of your community and part of building the ranch, and most of all I want Ross to be proud of me.”
“We all had our problems when we each first came here,” Georgie assured her.
A few of the babies cried, and Glory laughed. “I guess that’s our cue to rescue the men from the children and get going.”
They each hugged her, and she was invited to their next tea on Thursday afternoon. She glanced to where the men stood and spotted Ross making his way to her. Her heart felt so light. It had been a piece of lead for a long while, so very heavy.
“That’s quite the smile, Mrs. Carter.”
She put her hand on his wrist, and he bent his arm at the elbow to escort her home. “It’s been a wonderful afternoon. They have invited me to the next tea.”
“I’m happy for you.” They walked in silence for a bit.
“Georgie is going to teach me to sew too. They never made me feel ashamed to be expecting. They know it happened before I came here, but they seem very accepting.”
“I figured they would. It’s great news. Do you feel better now?”
“I can’t promise not to cry. This baby is making me feel strange, and my feelings come and go so suddenly it’s going to make my head spin.” She laughed.
“I’m here for your moodiness.”
“Moody? Who said anything about being moody?”
Ross sighed, and she laughed again.
“I’m teasing you. Now you can start with the spinning of your head.”
This time Ross laughed. “I never pictured you as the teasing type, but I like it. You look radiant.”
“I felt as though I was glowing until they asked how far along I was. I grew embarrassed, because no one knows… you know… about…” Her joy faltered but only for an instant and then it was back. “But they went along like it was nothing. It certainly has been a day for learning about other people.”
“It has.” He opened the door for her.
Once inside, she turned to him. “Do we have enough money for fabric and thread and a needle? I want to make baby clothes and hem the diapers. If we don’t, I’ll think of something.”
Ross hugged her to him and held her close. Her first instinct was to push him away and scream, but she drew several deep breaths.
He took a step back. “You don’t like to be touched.”
She bowed her head. “It’s not so bad if I don’t feel trapped. I know you would never hurt me, but some part of me feels terror when a man touches me. When you held me earlier on the bed I felt as though I could kick you and get away if I had to. The hug you gave me should have made me feel safe, but I could only think about how strong you are and if I tried to push you away, it wouldn’t work.”
“You were hurt more than you told me, weren’t you, love?” he asked gently.
“I could hardly move. My body was a deep purple from my chest down, even on my back, and my legs had bruises on top and painful cuts from the gravel. Ida, the women who tended to me daily since I was a child was aghast, and she wanted to send for the doctor. But I knew it would infuriate my father. It made me realize how vulnerable I was and that men could take what they wanted without consequence. It was almost more than I could take when I found I was with child. According to my father, I’m a no good tramp.” She took a few deep breaths. “Maybe we can work up to it. I like it when you hold my hand or give me a quick hug. I like it when you kiss me on the cheek. You kissed me on my lips before we were married. I’d like to try that again sometime.” Had she said too much? Ross stared at her for a long while.
“Yes, we can go slow, very slow, and if anything makes you uncomfortable all you have to do is tell me. A
s for your father, I’d like to punch his jaw. I’m sorry it all happened to you.” He stared a moment longer, his jaw clenched. Then he broke into a gentle smile. “Are you hungry?”
She followed him into the kitchen. Enough cooked food to last for several days had been brought in and placed on the counter and table. “Oh, how sweet. When did they have time to bring it all?”
“When you were having your hen party.”
She laughed. “It was not a hen party. We didn’t gossip at all.”
“I thought that’s what women did when they got together.”
Mary Beth shook her head. “We were too busy talking about our own lives to have time talking about anyone else’s.”
“Shall we eat?” he asked.
“I am eating for two these days. And I’m famished, actually. But the cake was so good, wasn’t it?”
“It sure was, and we got the leftovers of that too. Maybe the fact you can’t cook paid off.”
“Stop smiling at my faults!”
“Why? You’re smiling.” He bent and kissed her cheek. “I’ll get the plates.”
Later that evening, Mary Beth lay in bed feeling guilty that Ross was sleeping on the floor. She got up and put on her wrap. With a moment’s hesitation before she opened the door, she considered her actions. She could trust Ross, she reminded herself as she padded out of the room. Ross was sitting on the settee watching the fire. She sniffed, and he stiffened then turned.
“I would rather you sleep in the bed. It would be more comfortable than the floor. I don’t—I’m not asking for…”
“I know. We’ll take it slow, but yes I would like to sleep in the bed.” The way he looked at her made her feel beautiful.
“Fine. Good. I’m going back to bed, then.” She returned to the bedroom and hoped she hadn’t made a fool of herself.
* * *
“Carter, what are you smiling about?” Joe asked him.
“I think I’m beginning to like the being married stuff. Mary Beth isn’t who I thought her to be. I like her.” He couldn’t keep the grin off his face if he tried. It was a bit awkward, but waking up with her head on his chest, well, it was amazing. She’d given him a drowsy smile that had him wanting to put his arms around her and hold her, but they weren’t there yet.
Faltered Beginnings: Mail Order Brides of Spring Water Book Five Page 5
