by J. Lynn
Could I hook up with Tanner?
Apparently I could kiss him when I was drunk.
He lowered his chin, his lips spreading wide as he laughed at something Kyler shouted from the other end of the pool. I couldn’t hear it, but my tummy fluttered nonetheless.
Oh, yeah, I could totally hook up with him.
That moment, without warning, I felt it—the flutter in my stomach had moved to my chest. And it wasn’t a pleasant, delicious feeling. Oh no, it was sudden and sharp, kicking my heart rate up.
No. No. No. This is not going to happen.
Turning away from the door, I leaned against the counter and closed my eyes. I tried to take a deep, even breath, but my chest squeezed in, cutting it off. No. My chest was not squeezing in. Nothing was happening. It was all in my head. It was always in my head and nothing more. Pressure clamped down, but that also wasn’t real. I forced my lungs to expand, desperately ignoring the way my heart raced. My knuckles ached from how tightly I held the bottle. A wave of shivers rushed up my neck and over my scalp like an army of ants.
A sharp pain lanced across my chest, and I shook my head, clamping my lips together so fiercely my jaw ached. What if it was going to happen? What if I couldn’t stop it? I would—
I cut those thoughts off as I opened my mouth wide, gulping air. Nothing was going to happen. Nothing had happened. The sudden violent anxiety wasn’t really tied to anything. It was all in my head. A handful of seconds turned into a minute, and that minute turned into two. Eventually my pulse slowed and the tingling receded from the back of my neck. Hand shaking, I lifted the bottle and swallowed.
The sliding glass door opened, and I opened my eyes, breathing a sigh of relief when I saw that it was Syd. Hair twisted over one shoulder, she was securing a beach towel along her hips. “There you are,” she said. “I’ve been wondering where you were.”
My smile felt as weak as my knees. “I was just getting the hamburgers ready for later.”
She glanced around the kitchen. “You were?”
“Yeah. Just finished,” I lied, pushing off the counter. “They’re in the fridge.”
A knowing look crossed her face. “You’re hiding.”
“No. No, I am not.”
She crossed her arms as she lifted a brow and waited. I sighed.
“Are you okay?” she asked.
Syd knew that sometimes…sometimes I wasn’t okay. In the beginning, I’d tried to hide it from her, but being that Syd was going for a doctorate in psychology, there wasn’t much she missed when it came to my weird behaviors. She was one of those people who always read you within five minutes of meeting you, and was dead-on in her observations.
“I’m okay.” I took another drink and then set the bottle on the counter. Tugging the elastic band off my wrist, I swept my hair up in a quick, messy ponytail. “I am hiding. Kind of.”
“Do tell.” She headed to the fridge, grabbing a soda. She wasn’t much of a drinker.
I glanced at the door. “Tanner…he’s acting weird.” I knew I had her full attention in that moment. “He actually came over last night.”
“What?” Her eyes widened. “You didn’t tell me.”
“I didn’t think it was a big deal. He wasn’t there for long. He actually apologized for being a dick the other day.” I stopped, pursing my lips. I so wasn’t ready to vocalize the fact that I had kissed him Saturday night. “Well, I wasn’t very nice either, but whatever. He stopped by to apologize. I didn’t think much of it.”
“I think a lot of it,” she replied. “He could’ve called you. Or he could’ve said something here. He didn’t need to stop by your place.”
“I know.” I picked up my bottle and then drifted toward the glass doors. Water sprayed out of the pool as Kyler and Tanner screwed around. “He’s been really flirty. I mean, really flirty.”
“I’ve noticed that. I’m not surprised.”
I shot her a look.
“What? You two have been dancing around each other since you met.”
My stomach dipped. “But why now? Why all of a sudden?”
“I don’t know. Does there have to be a reason?”
I laughed. “Yes.”
“There really wasn’t a reason why Kyler and I finally moved from friends to more. Yeah, we were stuck in the cabin together, but it could’ve happened at any other point. It just did then. Maybe it’s the same thing with you and Tanner,” she explained. “Maybe you two just needed to be someplace—a place like this, all romantic and what not.”
“I don’t think he’s looking for romance.” I faced her. “I think he’s looking to get laid.”
She rolled her eyes. “How do you know that?”
“Um, let’s see. He’s pretty damn vocal about not doing relationships. Based on Tanner’s dating history—or should I call it, hook-up history, because I don’t think he really dates—I’m going to go with, he’s looking to get laid.”
“People change. Kyler did.”
“That’s because he was always in love with you.”
Syd smiled brightly. “True. But maybe Tanner has always—”
“Oh my God, don’t even finish that statement.” I snickered. “Because that would just be absurd.”
“Okay. Fine. Are you looking for a relationship?” she challenged.
I opened my mouth to say no, but I snapped my jaw shut. I had no idea if I was or not. I wasn’t actively seeking one, but if a good thing fell in my lap, I wouldn’t toss it away. And even though I probably wouldn’t throw Tanner out of my lap either, I knew he wasn’t a good thing. Well, that was a complete lie. He would be a great thing, but there was no way someone like him wouldn’t grow tired of me—of my bullshit. Sometimes I was tired of it.
I shrugged as I glanced back outside. Tanner was standing next to the pool, hands on his hips. He was staring at the doors, and I stepped back, feeling my cheeks heat. Thank God he couldn’t hear us. “I don’t know. I mean, who wouldn’t go slut-a-roo for him?”
Her laughter filled the kitchen. “Slut-a-roo? Hooking up with someone doesn’t make you a slut.”
“That I know for sure.” I sent her a cheeky grin over my shoulder, and she laughed again. “I don’t know. It’s just weird. It’s just…” I nibbled on my lower lip. “I’ve never told you this, because honestly, I never saw the point and it was before I knew you, but…I met Tanner my freshman year.”
There was a pause and then, “What?”
Wincing, I swore she’d hit a decibel higher than normal. I watched Tanner dive into the pool. “Well, we didn’t really meet. He had no idea who I was. He was just in two of my classes, but I had the biggest crush on him.”
“Why did you never mention this before?”
I shrugged and then faced her. “When I say he had no idea who I was, I’m not kidding. After my freshman year, I didn’t think I’d really see him again, just around campus, but then he turned up at the bar with Kyler that one night.”
She eyed me closely. “Okay. Now your attitude toward him is starting to make sense, and I know it’s more than just him not seeing you or paying attention. What did he do?”
My cheeks started to burn. “Remember Clara Hansen? She was my roommate my freshman and sophomore year.”
“Um. Yeah. A little. She wasn’t at your dorm a lot. That I remember.” Syd joined me at the door.
“Well, she had one of those classes with me. Clara had to know that I had the hots for him, because I think I drooled on myself every time he walked into a lecture. I mean, I never told her that I did, but… Whatever, it doesn’t matter.” I took another drink, enjoying the burn it made cascading down my throat. “One night I was studying at the library and came back to the dorm late. Clara wasn’t alone. She was in bed and she was most definitely having sex.”
“Oh. Oh no.” Syd groaned. “Let me guess. She was with Tanner?”
“Yep.”
“What a bitch!”
“Like I said, I never told her that I liked him
and I never even talked to him.”
Anger pinched her pretty face. “Whatever. How in the world does he not remember you when you walked in on them?”
“He was um…he was busy, and the moment I saw who it was, I backed out of that room faster than I’ve ever moved.” I finished off the bottle. “He had to have known someone had opened the door, but he doesn’t know it was me. And I know it’s stupid, but that whole situation has always bothered me.”
“I can see why,” she said quietly.
Walking over to the garbage can, I tossed the empty bottle. “But it’s dumb. Because he didn’t know me. I totally recognize that. I like to think I’ve matured a bit since then.” I laughed when Syd raised her brows at me. “So, yeah, that’s that.”
“What are you going to do about it now?” she asked.
I shook my head. “I don’t know.”
A slow grin spread across her face. “Well, I think you’ll figure it out. But only if you come outside and stop hiding.”
Tanner
The hamburgers Andrea made were literally the best damn burgers I’d ever tasted, and I tried to tell her that, but she’d spent the better part of our little cookout up Syd’s ass, and now that it was dusk, we hadn’t exchanged more than a handful of words.
If I didn’t know better, I’d think she was avoiding me.
And I wasn’t down for that as I was feeling rather attention-seeking at the moment, especially since the lovebirds were plastered to each other in the shallow end of the pool. Syd was in Kyler’s lap, and I really hoped there were no shenanigans going on.
Sitting on the ledge of the pool with my legs dangling into the water, I leaned forward as Andrea came back outside. Arms crossed under her chest, she came to the edge of the pool and looked at me.
I waved.
Her head tilted to the side, and in the fading sun, her hair was a burnt auburn, reminding me of the season not too far away. Lips pursed, she glanced in the direction of Kyler and Syd.
“Andy,” I called before she interrupted them.
Her head swung toward me. “Tanner?”
“Come here.” I smacked the spot beside me. Surprise shuttled through me when after a moment of hesitation she made her way over. After that afternoon, I figured I’d have to get down on my knees and beg her. As she sat down beside me, dipping pretty toes into the water, I could barely drag my gaze away from her shapely legs. “I’ve missed you.”
She laughed as she folded her hands together. “You did not miss me.”
“Yes, I did.” I leaned back on my hands as she stared at the water. There was a freckle under her left ear. I wanted to taste it.
“I’ve been right here,” she said, splashing the water with her feet.
What would she do if I ran my tongue along that little speck? “Still missed you.”
“You are so full of shit,” she replied, but she was smiling, so I figured that was a good thing. Not good enough for me to lick that freckle. She’d probably punch me in the balls if I did that. Glancing at me, she lifted a brow. “It’s a good thing you’re cute.”
“You think I’m cute?” I reached up, tugging gently on the black string around her neck.
“Sometimes.” She smacked my hand away.
Grinning, I tapped her fingers with mine. “That’s because the other half of the time you think I’m a sexy beast.”
“Sure.” Her eyes flashed to mine. “If that’s what helps you get on with your day.”
I laughed deeply. “You know what will help me get on with my day?”
“What?”
“Seeing what’s under this top and those shorts,” I told her. “You’re wearing a bathing suit, and seeing that is something that will definitely get me through the rest of my days.”
Shaking her head, her attention returned to the pool, to where her feet paddled in the water. “You are just on a roll, aren’t you?”
“I have no idea what you mean.” I totally knew what she meant. Leaning my arm against hers, I savored the warmth of her skin and the way she bit down on her lower lip. “So… you changed your major, right?”
She nodded as she tipped her head in my direction. “That’s right.”
“What do you plan to do, then?” I asked, genuinely curious. “Live a life of leisure?” The moment that question came out of my mouth, I wanted to punch myself. It was supposed to be joke, but it was about as funny as an accident on the beltway.
Andrea twisted at the waist, facing me. Her brown eyes had darkened, turning stormy. “Contrary to popular belief, asshole, I don’t sit around all day and have people wait on me hand and foot.”
I pulled back. “Andrea—”
“I’ve changed my major to teaching, and as you know, teachers aren’t living the life of Riley. And when I’m not in class, I’m not just hanging around, getting manicures and pedicures. I spend the bulk of my time volunteering at Holy Cross Hospital. And not as a candy striper, either.” She pulled her feet from the water and stood briskly. Too quickly. “You don’t—”
Her feet slipped in the puddle gathering on the deck and she went down, her knee cracking off the edge. My hand shot out, reaching for her arm as she started to pinwheel, but I wasn’t fast enough. One minute she was standing next to me, and the next second she was in the pool, water spraying into the air.
“What the…?” Kyler broke away from Syd and turned toward us. Disbelief colored his tone. “Did you push her?”
Ignoring him, I jumped into the pool just as Andrea’s head broke the surface. “You okay?”
Gasping from the cold shock, she treaded water, her eyes wide when they met mine. Anger flashed across her face, quickly followed by a red stain that seeped into her cheeks. I doubted that was anger. Oh no, that was a very different kind of emotion. With a little shake of her head, she turned from me and swam to the ladder. Soaked, her hair stuck to her cheeks as she climbed out of the pool, her clothing clinging to her curvy form.
I followed, but she stormed across the deck, not looking back. Cursing under my breath, I reached for the side and launched myself out of the pool.
“What happened?” Sydney asked, already starting toward the steps.
“She fell.” I shot them a look. “I got this.”
Sydney frowned. “But—”
“I got this,” I repeated, and thank God she backed off, because Kyler would probably flip his shit if I had to repeat myself for a third time, because it would not be pretty.
“Tanner,” Syd said.
Losing my patience, I faced her. “I—”
“She volunteers in the mental health part of the hospital,” she said, letting me in on the fact that she’d heard a part of our conversation. “And she also volunteers at the suicide hotline center in Georgetown whenever they need her.”
Stunned, I blinked. “What?”
Kyler was staring at Sydney like she’d sprouted a third tit. “Are you serious?”
She nodded. “It’s not something she broadcasts, but I thought you should know.”
For a moment, I didn’t move as I absorbed that hidden piece of knowledge about Andrea—the girl I thought of as a rich girl, a little spoiled and definitely a party animal. Never once had it crossed my mind that she volunteered her time for anything, unless the volunteering involved drinking or shopping for purses.
“Shit. I had no idea,” I said, but that wasn’t an excuse.
Sydney didn’t respond, and guilt exploded in my stomach like buckshot. Again, I was reminded of the fact that there was so little I knew of the real Andrea. I murmured a thanks and then made my way across the deck.
Tiny puddles led the way for me once I was inside the house. She’d gone upstairs, and I took the steps two at a time. I went straight to her room, ready to admit to being a complete dick.
“Andy, I’m—” I opened the door, and words left me, flew right out of my mouth and did a power dive out the window, head first. My brain shut the fuck down. I didn’t blink. I’d never blink again, an
d there was no way I’d ever get this image of Andrea out of my head. I wouldn’t want to, because standing in the middle of the bedroom, Andrea wore nothing but a towel—a small towel. A whole lot of pink skin was on display, sweetly curved and soft-looking, especially where the towel gaped.
Lust—a heated, insane kind of primitive lust slammed into me and I grunted out, “Fuck me.”
Chapter 7
Andrea
It was like someone had pressed the pause button on life. I stood a few feet from the bathroom, my arms at my sides as I stared at Tanner. Neither of us moved for a long moment, but my heart pounded as a flush raced across my cheeks, down my throat and under the towel. Pool water still clung to his bare chest, coursing down his abs, forming little rivers.
Tanner…he stared at me with a heat and intensity that was hard to mistake. My knees weakened for the first time in my life. In that moment, he didn’t look at me like I’d just busted my ass right in front of him and fallen into the pool. Right now, he didn’t look at me like he thought I was a useless party girl.
He looked at me like he saw a woman he wanted—he needed.
Then he moved.
Kicking the door shut behind him, he steadily advanced on me. The thud of the door closing snapped me out of my stupor. “What the hell?” I shrieked, clutching where I knotted the towel above my breasts as I took a step back. I was completely nude under the towel, and I’d never been this undressed in a room with Tanner before. It was too much. “What are you doing up here? Do you know how to knock?”
Tanner didn’t look like he heard me. “I came up here for a reason, but hell if I remember now.”
“W-what?” I sputtered. “You probably came to hurl more insults at me.”
He lifted his gaze to mine then. Some of the heat evaporated from his eyes. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be insulting, but I was. That’s why I came up here. To tell you I’m sorry.”
For a second, I forgot I was in a towel and he had barged in on me. This was the second time he’d apologized. Never before had he ever apologized. Neither had I. I blinked slowly¸ having no idea what to say.
Tanner’s gaze dipped again, and his lips parted. A rough sound emanated from him, causing my toes to curl against the hardwood floors and my tummy to twist. That was about the moment when I realized there was one hell of a gap in the towel.
