by J. Lynn
Holy crap.
Since I wasn’t a size 2 or even a size 10, a normal towel didn’t cover me completely. The towel parted just below my left breast, exposing the side of my stomach, my hip and my entire upper thigh. I knew he could see the underswell of my breast, and if he looked hard enough, God only knew what else he could see. I couldn’t even fool myself into thinking something different. If I moved too quickly, he’d definitely get an eyeful of my goods.
I almost laughed, because I’d been so against him seeing me in a bikini a few hours before, and now he saw pretty much just the same. But the back of my throat and my eyes burned, and if I laughed, it might’ve sounded a little crazed.
Tanner exhaled harshly, jarring me. “You’re beautiful, Andrea.”
Anger and pleasure warred inside me. He’d said that earlier, but I’d dismissed it. Buried it so deep in my thoughts that it was like hearing it for the first time. “Don’t say things you don’t mean. Not stuff like that.”
He frowned as his eyes met mine. “I do mean it.”
I swallowed hard as I shook my head. My fingers tightened on the knot. I didn’t know what to say to that. “You shouldn’t be in here.”
“I know.” But he made no effort to leave. “You hurt your knee.”
Huh? I glanced down, and saw he was right. Tiny drops of blood beaded over my left knee. “I…I must have skinned it when I fell.” As impossible as it sounded, my face burned even brighter.
“Let me take a look at it,” he said.
“It’s fine. Just a scratch.”
Tanner’s long legs ate up the remaining distance between us, and he was suddenly standing right in front of me. “I’m sure it’s fine, but I’d feel better if I looked at it. I can’t believe I’m actually saying this, but why don’t you put some clothes on and let me check it out.”
I wanted him to get the hell out of my room, but he was giving me the option to escape. Shuffling to the bed, I grabbed the clothes I’d laid out before Tanner burst into my room. I stopped at the bathroom door and glanced over my shoulder. He still stood there, his hands clenched at his sides. Something about his stance unsettled me.
Actually, everything about Tanner right then unnerved me.
I slipped into the bathroom, legs shaking. My reflection in the mirror confirmed that my face was only a shade lighter than my hair. God, tonight had gone just amazing. Slipped and fell into the pool like a dork and then caught standing in a towel. I was ready to crawl into bed and pull the covers over my head.
Or down half a bottle of tequila, because if there ever were some moments to get shitfaced, this was one of them.
Picking up my clothes, I realized I’d forgotten to grab a bra. Fuck me. Seriously. Maybe I’d get lucky and Tanner would fall into a black hole or something. I quickly changed into the cotton shorts and shirt, cringing when I could plainly see my nipples pressing against the material. God was not a fan of me right then. I was pretty sure he was smiting me.
My knee ached a little, and I grabbed some tissue. I’d just sat down on the rim of the bathtub when there was a knock on the door.
“Are you clothed?” asked Tanner.
“Yes.” Immediately, I knew I should’ve said no, because the next second, the door was opening, and he was stepping into the bathroom. Still shirtless. Still wet. God, wet abs were hot. I shook my head in disgust as I scowled up at him. “I could’ve been peeing.”
He lifted a brow as he stopped in front of me. “I’d hope you would’ve said that.”
“Why would I tell you I was peeing?” I fired back. “I shouldn’t have to tell you anything. You shouldn’t walk willy-nilly into rooms.”
“Willy-nilly?” His lips twitched, and I swore in that moment, if he laughed, I was going to kick him in the balls, total kung-fu style. He grabbed the tissues from my hand and knelt. “Are you okay?”
I didn’t know what he was referencing at first. “I said I was okay.”
He tilted his head as he wrapped his hand around my left calf, causing me to jump a little. Pausing, he peered up through thick, sooty lashes. “Did I hurt you?” His voice was low, thick like velvet.
There was a distinct impression he meant more than touching my leg. Before I could respond, he went back to staring at my knee. I tried to picture him doing this on calls when he worked. Unlike now, he’d be covered head to toe, but I bet with that uniform, he’d induced a lot of swoons.
Tanner gently swabbed at the skin, dabbing at the blood. Several moments passed and then he said, “I really didn’t mean to say what I did out there. I don’t think you sit around all day and do nothing.”
I stared at the top of his head. Wet, his hair was a dark brown, and I could see the tiny droplets clinging to the short strands. “Are you sure about that? Because I honestly think you do believe that.”
His hand froze a few inches from my knee and then he lifted his chin. Cobalt eyes pierced mine. “You know, you’re right to ask that.” Settling back on his haunches, he didn’t look away. “And you do deserve my honesty. Up until a couple of days ago, I really didn’t think you did anything with your spare time. I had no idea you volunteered at the hospital or the suicide hotline.”
I sucked in a breath. “Syd opened her mouth?”
He nodded.
There was a tiny, black-haired girl who was going to get throttled. I could not fathom why she’d tell Tanner about that. Then again, she could’ve overheard our argument by the pool, which proved she could multitask while she sucked face with Kyler. I wasn’t embarrassed by my volunteer activities. It just wasn’t something I ever believed Tanner would care to know.
“I think that’s pretty amazing,” he said, flashing a quick smile. “Not a lot of people could do that.”
“No.” Most could not surround themselves with those who were ill, or listen to the calls from people who so desperately needed help. I honestly had no idea how I could do it, but I guessed it had something to do with…well, with who I was. “So, what? Now you think I put the ‘awe’ in awesome?”
He grinned wryly. “I always thought you were pretty awesome, despite my obviously incorrect assumptions about you.”
I pursed my lips together. “I find that hard to believe.”
“It’s true.” Leaning back, he tossed the used tissues in the little wicker trashbasket. “I always knew you were smart. You were taking pre-med when we met and it wasn’t like you were failing at that. You’ve always been funny. No one can twist words quite like you. And I’ve seen some profound moments of sweetness from you.”
Oh geez, the burn was in the back of my throat, and I had to look away. I ended up seeing our reflection in the mirror, and it was so strange, him kneeling in front of me, his head tilted back, staring up at me.
“And you have to know that I always thought you were hot,” he added. “For fuck’s sake, you’re a redhead. That alone puts you into the sexy-as-hell category.”
I coughed out a short laugh. “That’s not what most people say about redheads.”
“Fuck them.” His hand slid up to the back of my knee, causing me to draw in a quick breath. A series of shivers traveled over me. “You probably already know you should put some peroxide on this, but you’ll live.”
My belly was fluttering as he ran his thumb along the back of my knee. Sensations rioted. I’d had no idea that area was so sensitive. “I know.”
Curling his hand around the space just above my knee, he peered up at me again, a small half-grin on his handsome face. Then he rose, slipping his hand off my leg. Instead of straightening, he clasped my cheeks in a gentle grasp that sent my heart thundering. “Let’s start over. Okay?” he suggested softly. “My name is Tanner Hammond.”
I stared at him in what had to be an attractive, bug-eyed look. He was being serious. There was no ignoring the earnest touch to his expression. Could people ever truly start over? I didn’t think so. The past didn’t just simply vanish because we wanted it to, but what harm was there in pretending? That
was something else that I excelled at. “My…my name is Andrea Walters.”
There was a brief glimpse of his smile growing wider and then he kissed the tip of my nose. “It’s good to finally meet you.”
Tuesday night was different. Not bad or anything, but most definitely different. The four of us sat on the deck, under the stars, and chatted about everything and nothing in particular. All of us were drinking, but not to get sloshed, and I was okay with that. Maybe it was the peaceful scenery. Maybe it was the people I was with. Either way, I didn’t feel like I needed more to have a good time or to relax.
Kyler was excited to start veterinary school, while Syd was eager to get done with grad school and she hadn’t even started it yet. Tanner and I were the odd people out, both of us on hold until the spring.
Not once did we argue.
Okay. That wasn’t entirely true. We bickered, but it wasn’t a knock-down, drag-out argument that ended with me threatening his ability to reproduce in the future. I wasn’t sure, even after starting over, we’d ever be able to not snap at one another.
We stayed up late, and I ended up pouring myself into bed, falling asleep without having to take a pill to get there, and on Wednesday morning, Kyler and Syd made breakfast before they headed off on their first hiking adventure.
I stayed behind, because, well, bears. And coyotes. And deer. And physical activity. Plus, I was pretty sure they’d be stopping every couple of minutes to make out, and I really didn’t need to see all of that.
Tanner strolled by where I sat on the barstool in front of the kitchen island. He tugged a curl and then leaned against the island, angling his body toward mine. “So, what are we going to get into today?”
“Why didn’t you go hiking with them?” I asked instead of answering. One just had to take a look at Tanner to know he was all about physical activity.
He shrugged one shoulder, causing the faded T-shirt he wore to stretch across his chest. “They didn’t want me to go along with them, so you’re stuck with me.”
I thought it was a little strange that they would’ve said that, but knowing Syd, she probably purposely disinvited him the moment she realized I wasn’t going with them, leaving him behind to babysit me. But after our little one-on-one in the bathroom yesterday, I wasn’t sure being stuck with Tanner was a bad thing. “I guess I am.”
“Yep. So why don’t you go upstairs, put that bathing suit on and we’ll spend the day being lazy and getting sunburnt.”
I started to make up an excuse, but considering he’d seen me in a towel that barely covered anything the night before, it seemed stupid to not want to go out there in a swimsuit. Still, I hesitated.
“Come on, Andy.” He caught my hand in his and drew me off the barstool. His other hand settled on my hip. “Spend time with me.”
Staring into eyes that reminded me of the summer sky before a storm, I found myself nodding. His grin was easy and contagious as he tugged me against his chest. My heart stuttered at the contact, and he seemed to have no idea how he affected me as he swept his arms around me. Hugging me tight, he lifted me clear off my feet and gave me a little shake.
I squeaked like a dog toy. “Tanner!”
“Sorry.” He didn’t sound remorseful at all. “I get a little excited sometimes.” He put me down and let go. “Hurry. I’ll be waiting for you outside.”
I did just that before I changed my mind. Dashing up the stairs, I changed into the bikini and then tugged a tube dress made out of terry cloth over it. I didn’t stop to check myself out or take time to really think about the fact that it felt like we’d paired off. Kyler and Syd and Tanner and me. Of course, the four of us went out a lot, but it never felt like we were coupling.
Coupling?
I giggled out loud as I ran a hand through my hair, brushing it back from my face. Back downstairs, I stopped in the kitchen and before I knew what I was doing, I was standing in front of the fridge, reaching for a bottle of Miller Lite. I figured one could help me relax, so I started to kneel to grab one.
I stopped and drew in a shallow breath. What was I doing?
Clutching the door handle, I pressed my lips together in dismay. Did I really need a drink to relax? No. I didn’t. I didn’t need one. I wanted one. Big difference there. Drawing in a deeper breath this time, I shut the door and took a step back. Turning around, I gasped.
Tanner stood next to the sliding glass door. I hadn’t even heard him come in and I had no idea how long he’d been standing there, but I knew he’d seen me.
He smiled at me, giving me no indication that he was judging me, but he probably was. I was judging myself. “You ready?”
Leaving the fridge, I went to him and smiled weakly when he opened the glass door. I stepped into the bright and warm sunlight, sort of feeling like a different person. Like I’d stripped away a layer that had been itchy and uncomfortable.
Tanner prowled past me, peeling the shirt over his head as he walked. Dear mama, those blue swim trunks, a shade or two lighter than his eyes, hung indecently low on his hips. How in the world did they stay on him? When he turned to me, I couldn’t stop staring at those V-shaped indentations at his hips. Good Lord, his body was downright distracting.
He winked at me and then turned, diving into the pool like a damn pro. My eyes narrowed as I sighed. Even that was graceful.
I approached the edge of the deck, on the other end of the pool where there were steps, careful not to slip and fall again like a total turd. Tanner swam to the other side of the pool. With his back to me, he called out, “Are you getting in?”
Expecting him to turn around, I waited a second, but realized that he was…goodness, he was giving me time to get the dress off, and that was…that was sweet. Oh wow, that really was actually kind of sweet. Fingers trembling, I gripped the dress and tugged it over my head. I scanned the water, finding him swimming under it. Heart pounding, I dropped the dress within easy reach and had just reached the first step in the pool, water licking at my ankles, when Tanner’s head broke the surface.
I froze.
He’d made his way to where he could stand, bringing his chest out of the water. Sunlight glinted off his glistening skin, but it was the way he stared at me that tugged my breath right out of my chest.
His gaze was like a physical touch, and my body hummed in response. “Andy,” he murmured, voice deep and low. “I have a secret to admit.”
Feeling breathless and foolish, I resisted the urge to fold my arms across my stomach. “Is it an interesting secret?”
“Oh yeah.” His lips curled slowly. “Kyler actually invited me to go with them today.”
My brows rose. “He did?”
Tanner nodded. “I told him no. I’d rather spend the day with you.”
Chapter 8
Tanner
Snow could have started falling out of the sky, and I wouldn’t be able to pull my gaze away from Andrea. The glimpse I’d gotten of those curves the night before had been just a sweet hint and had in no way prepared me for this.
Andrea wasn’t just beautiful. She was stunning—fucking breathtaking.
Curves in all the right places. Soft where a man wanted his woman soft. Her breasts were full, swelling over the cups of her top, and her waist curved in and flared out sweetly at her hips. Her body reminded me of those old-school pinup models I’d been obsessed with in high school. She was a fucking goddess, and didn’t even know. Lust pounded in me, like I was under a jackhammer. I was so still, my body so hard that taking a breath required effort I couldn’t spare. Every muscle in my body was rigid with need, with the desire to cross the distance between us and sweep her into my arms, and to feel her softness against my body.
Fuck me, I had it bad for her.
Her hands fluttered to her sides and then to the water lapping at her thighs. “Why are you staring at me like that?”
The quiet question blasted through me. “I can’t look away.”
Andrea’s cheeks pinked under the sun. “That
’s weird.”
“Oh no, being able to look away would be weird. No. Not just weird,” I decided. “It would be fucking sacrilegious.”
Her lips parted and then she smiled, and fuck if it didn’t feel like I’d just won something. As she glided past me, I ground my teeth until my jaw ached, denying the urge to reach out and just…fuck, just touch her.
I watched her slip under the water, my starving gaze following her as she swam to the other side. When she broke the surface of the clear water and glanced over her shoulder at me, my heart thundered in my chest.
Like she was some kind of siren, her look alone lured me across the pool. I ended up next to her, both our arms resting on the ledge of the pool, our feet not touching the bottom.
The sun dipped behind a dark cloud, and Andrea looked up, her forehead scrunched. “Do you think it’s going to storm?”
“I don’t know.” I didn’t look away, which told me I was bordering on being a creeper at that point. “I saw that they were calling for some storms this week. It’s August. Expected.”
Her legs floated, brushing mine. The mere touch, the slight glide of her skin against mine, packed a hell of a punch. “I just hope they’re not caught out in the rain or something. I know they’re talking about going hiking again on Thursday or Friday.”
“You’re not going to go with them again?”
She shook her head and laughed. A curl fell forward, sticking to her cheek. “No.”
“Me neither.” I reached over, scooping up the curl and tucking it back behind her ear.
Her eyes shot to mine, the brown hue warm. There was a multitude of questions in her gaze. Silence stretched out as we studied each other, and I’d have cut off a finger to know what she was thinking in that moment. I knew what I was thinking. A whole lot of want. I wanted to kiss her. I wanted to see if her eyes darkened when she felt pleasure. I wanted to know what her expression looked like when she came. And I wanted to know what my name sounded like when she screamed it. Then she looked away, ducking her chin. The connection was broken.
