His Light in the Dark

by L. A. Fiore

  The scream had my blood curdling. Rushing into her room, I hit the switch; soft light pushed back the dark and illuminated Mia who sat upright in bed, her eyes wide in fear and her body shaking.

  “Mia.”

  Her focus moved to me, but she didn’t see me yet. Slowly I approached, my voice as soft as I could make it. “Mia, it’s Cole.”

  For the first time in days, she appeared lucid. “Cole?”

  “Yeah baby, it’s me.”

  Her eyes were filled with tears and her lower lip started to tremble. “I killed him.”

  Fucker had it coming. “Don’t worry about that. You want something to drink? Are you hungry?”

  “He touched me, put his fingers inside me. He was going to rape me; I killed him.”

  Primal was how I felt hearing the terror in her voice. He deserved death just for making her go through this. “Don’t think about it.”

  “They’re going to arrest me.”

  “No. They aren’t.”

  “But I killed him.”

  “In self-defense.”

  She completely crumbled; her beautiful eyes held both fear and devastation. Tears streamed down her face. Scooping her into my arms, I held her tight against me and wished to a God I didn’t even believe in to give me her pain to carry. Her delicate arms were strong, wrapping around my neck and holding me as tightly as I held her. I didn’t know how long we stayed like that, would have given my fucking soul to keep her there forever. Her body seemed to relax into me, the trembling not as violent. Her head lifted, her stricken face looked around the room before her gaze turned back to me. “Where am I?”

  “My house.”

  More lucid, more like the Mia I knew, her eyes warming slightly. “You came for me.”

  “Yes.”

  “Oh God, Cole.” Her face crumbled. “I shouldn’t have gone with Kevin. I should have texted you.”

  I understood her need to should have, could have, because I had been doing the same, but we couldn’t go back and more importantly she was here and she was safe. “Don’t do that to yourself. You couldn’t have known what awaited you at Kevin’s. You’re here now and I swear to you I won’t let anything more happen to you.”

  She wiped at her eyes, her lower lip still trembled, “You and Daddy were right.”

  “About?”

  “I am too curious for my own good.”

  Fuck me; there was my Mia. During what was the worst moment of my life, hearing the terror Mia had endured, and still she had it in her to make me laugh.

  “Stay with me.” She whispered as she settled back under the covers.

  I probably shouldn’t have, was probably showing just how dark my soul had become, because I didn’t even hesitate—climbing in and pulling her close. She fell asleep almost instantly. I didn’t sleep at all, just held her in my arms while giving in to the one absolute that I had spent most of my life denying, she belonged there.

  Staring at his lifeless eyes, I watched as his own blood pooled under him, surrounding him like a mystical gateway, conjured to take him to hell. And then his hand moved. Sitting up, a grin soured his expression. He wasn’t dead. “Time to play.”

  “No!” Jerking awake, the pain between my legs a vicious reminder that it hadn’t all been a nightmare. I felt someone next to me. My feet hit the floor when Cole’s soft, steady voice finally penetrated.

  Hunched in front of me, worry clouding his eyes even as his jaw clenched with his anger, he whispered, “Mia, you’re safe now.”

  Seeing him, so calm, so real…it all just came crashing down on me and I couldn’t control the shaking of my body. Cole folded me into a hug, pressing me tight against his body.

  “Talk to me, Mia.”

  “I killed him.”

  “In self-defense.”

  “It wasn’t.”

  “Of course it was.”

  I was afraid to look at him, afraid that he’d see the same monster in me that I saw in the pale-hair man. “He was unconscious.”

  Cole shifted, his focus on me. “What do you mean?”

  “He bent me over the sink—”

  “Fuck, Mia, don’t relive it.”

  “I need to say it, I have to say it.”

  Every muscle in his body went as hard as stone. It cost him too, me telling him this, but I had to purge or I knew I’d never be free of it. “He pushed his fingers into me, hard, got off on it. I fought him, but he was so much stronger, he came at me again and I knew I didn’t have the strength to keep him off me and then I remembered…I hit him with the lid of the toilet tank just like you taught me. I hit him so hard, he just dropped.” Lifting my eyes to his, I saw so much but what wrapped around me, what gave me the courage to continue, there was no judgment: pain, rage, despair, but no judgment. “He was out cold on the floor, but the sight of his cock, knowing what he intended, I shot him after he was already out cold. That isn’t self-defense.”

  “The fuck it isn’t.”

  “He wasn’t a threat.”

  Cole moved so fast, one minute he was right at my side and the next he was across the room. Primal was how he looked, bloodlust turning his already sharp features harder.

  “They took you, kidnapped you, butchered someone you knew, locked you away and then that fuck touched you. He dared to touch something that even a thousand lifetimes over he’d still not be worthy to lick your shoes. You were thrown into the middle of a fucking nightmare and you think it matters if the man who raped you was conscious or not? That somehow that changes your innocence? I was there, Mia, if I had moved faster, he never would have touched you, and you never would have needed to shoot him. I would have, but not before I skinned him alive and fed him his own dick. You want to lay blame, lay it where it belongs, that animal and me for not being fast enough.”

  How could he possibly think he was to blame? “Lay blame on you? You got me out Cole.”

  “But not before he touched you, hurt you, forced you to save yourself.”

  “But I did save myself and you saved me too, got me out but more right now, this, you’ve made me feel safe again.”

  “I still wish I could take it away.”

  I wished he could take it away too. Wished we could go back a few days, I’d make him come into my house, I’d make him spend every second with me. Wanted memories of him and not the horror I saw every time I closed my eyes. A shiver worked through me; suddenly I needed to wash the memory of that man’s touch from me, could feel his fingers digging into me, could smell his breath, hear his voice. I’d already been washed, probably after the exam, and still I felt dirty.

  “I feel dirty, I feel him.”

  Something dark shadowed his face before he said, “I’ll draw you a bath.”

  I didn’t want to be alone, so I followed Cole to the bathroom and stood off to the side as he fiddled with the tub.

  “He was going to kill me, the pale-hair man.”

  Cole’s expression remained dark as he took a few steps closer to me. “You’re safe now.”

  “I knew you’d come for me.”

  He pulled me to him, taking as much comfort as he was giving. “A bath, some food and sleep.”

  “You sound like my dad.”

  “He was a smart man.”

  Nodding my head, I started to remove what I assumed was Cole’s tee and winced since my body ached everywhere. Cole noticed and lifted my shirt over my head, my bra followed. His rage went up a notch when he saw the bruises on my breasts and my stomach where the sink had cut into my skin. He said nothing though; an effort that I knew cost him and then his body went immobile. He was staring at my left breast; his expression was so terrifying, I followed his gaze. My breasts were bruised, but it was the bite mark at the curve of my breast that held his focus.

  “He fucking bit you?”

  “No, that’s from you.”

  Confusion met my gaze when his eyes lifted to me. “After that night in my dorm I had a tattoo artist trace it before it healed, had a template m
ade so it’d be in the exact place.”

  His expression was now one of disbelief. “Why?”

  “That night you marked me, on the outside but more on the inside. I became yours that night and I wanted to remember, wanted a piece of you.”

  His fingers continue to trace the tat of his mark, but his focus was solely on me. Emotion moved over his expression, but he said nothing as he finished undressing me.

  The water was the perfect temperature, but the experience became even better when Cole filled his palm with shampoo and started washing my hair. The sigh couldn’t have been stopped as I closed my eyes and allowed myself to savor having his strong fingers massaging my scalp—washing away the ugly memories that though would likely haunt me, I wouldn’t give them the power to control me. The combination of the warm bath and Cole’s washing lulled me back to sleep. I vaguely remembered being lifted from the tub and dried, feeling the soft mattress under me, before I lost the battle to sleep.

  When I woke alone many hours later, the room was dark except for the glow of the small nightlight on the far wall. I lay there for a few minutes as the fear that I woke with subsided when I remembered where I was and whom I was with. Pulling on the robe Cole had left for me, I quietly moved down the stairs to the kitchen. The scent of whatever Cole had made for dinner still lingered in the air and in response my stomach growled. There was a plastic-wrapped dish in the refrigerator that covered the biggest plate of macaroni I’d ever seen. I didn’t hesitate to pull it from the fridge and after peeking in a few drawers, I found a fork and settled at the farm table in the kitchen.

  Cole had not only made dinner, he’d made up a plate for me. A pleasant warmth settled in my chest just thinking of him doing that even while I had a really hard time imagining him doing that. The food was delicious, my dad’s recipe; the same recipe he had learned to make that day with my dad all those years ago.

  I didn’t hear him approach and nearly dropped my fork when he appeared. He wore a white T-shirt and faded jeans, but he’d just thrown them on because the button to the jeans wasn’t done and his feet were bare.

  “Do you want a glass of water?”

  “Please.”

  He retrieved it before pulling out the chair opposite me, turning it around and straddling it. His muscled arms rested on the back and as hard as it was to pull my focus from the beauty before me, I did somehow and looked right into those blue eyes.

  “The man that took me…”

  “Donny Alfonsi.”

  “It’s such a normal name to belong to that animal. He was looking for photos that he claimed Dad had taken. I know Dad had photos, I found some, but they were all of Donny. I didn’t find any others.”

  Cole had no physical reaction to that but he did ask, “Did he say why?”

  “No, but I’m pretty sure it was Stein who put him up to it since he wanted the photos specifically of his boss. Cole, he said he didn’t kill Dad and neither did Stein.”

  That got a reaction out of him; he looked about ready to launch. “He’s a liar.”

  “I agree, witnessed firsthand how good a liar he is, and I think he’s capable of anything, but I don’t think he was lying about this. He intended to kill me, he had no reason to lie.”

  Cole’s jaw clenched.

  “Maybe he is lying, but if he’s not and it wasn’t him or Stein, then who killed my dad?”

  “I don’t know. Our focus has always been on Stein.”

  Shifting my gaze to my plate, I twirled the spaghetti around my fork. “He tortured Kevin, took delight in doing it. If he did kill Dad, do you think he did the same to him? The funeral home had insisted on a closed casket.”

  Cole was out of his chair, pulling me up to my feet. “Stop.”

  “He was going to do the same to me. I saw it in his eyes. And then that man came into my room, he’d been thinking about raping me since I arrived. I tried to break out, but I was on the second floor. I ran to the bathroom, he smashed in the door.”

  “Mia, don’t.”

  The thought slammed into me out of nowhere. Donny was a monster and surely he knew now I had escaped. “Aunt Dee, Dylan, Janie—”

  Cole knew my thoughts because he stopped me before I could finish voicing them. “They’re covered.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yes. They’re fine.”

  Relief and exhaustion pulled a yawn from me. “It seems like I can’t sleep enough.”

  Cole swept me into his arms and headed upstairs. My arms moved around his neck, seeking more of his strength. I felt safe for the first time in a long while. I didn’t want to let him go when he lowered me onto the bed, but I did. The action costing me, some of the security I felt faded with the loss of his touch. He started from the room, but my next words stopped him.

  “You never stopped watching out for me. Thank you.”

  His head turned and those eyes met mine. “And I never will.”

  Kevin reached for me, his fingerless hands grabbing for me, his eyes vacant. What made him human was gone and what remained resembled a trapped animal trying to claw its way out using anything in its means to do so. I tried to run, but he was too fast. Pouncing on me and knocking me to the ground. It wasn't Kevin's face filling my vision though, it was the man I killed. His lifeless eyes eerily staring right into mine.

  Jerking myself awake, my heart in my throat as I struggled to remember where I was until I saw the nightlight on the other side of the room—such a small thing, but one meant to offer comfort, not something pale-hair was capable of. Calm replaced some of my fear as the reality of where I was settled over me. Soaked, as sweat beaded on my skin, turned to a chill from the cold air coming through the window I had left slightly open. Climbing from bed, I made my way to the bathroom hoping a hot shower would take the chill away even knowing that no amount of showers would ease it, since part of it had nothing to do with the temperature of the room.

  Steam filled the bathroom as I stepped under the hot spray. I felt like I was in a dream, but knew it was lingering shock. I hadn’t quite accepted what I had seen this past week, didn’t think I would ever fully accept the ugliness that existed in the world and how it had touched my world. Kevin was dead; his family would need to be told, but how did you share with them his final moments? They’d have questions once they saw him. I was a coward, never thought of myself as one, but I wanted the police to keep me out of it; wanted them to explain to his family the horror Kevin had faced at the end.

  The night I killed a man was never far from my thoughts. I had killed someone. I didn’t regret what I had done, but I had ended a life. That was even harder to process than what that man did to me. And to think that Donny Alfonsi not only killed, but drew pleasure from the process only reinforced the simple truth that the man was a monster—a monster who wanted something from me. Pressing my forehead to the tile wall, I wished for my dad, wanted him to hold me and make everything okay like he had a way of doing. I hadn’t realized I was crying until a sob caught in my throat and my eyes stung from tears that just wouldn’t stop, tears washed immediately away from my overheated cheeks by the spray from the shower.

  Would my life go back to normal? After such an ordeal, was normal something I'd ever experience again? I actually missed my job, would take my boss’s irritating ways over this nightmare. Did I even have a job? And Janie, she must be beside herself worrying. I had to get word to her, Dylan and Aunt Dee that I was okay, safe. It was on that thought that I shut off the shower and quickly dried off before donning my robe because I needed to talk to Cole. He had to get word to them. I pulled open the door on Cole, wearing only a pair of jeans, leaning up against the wall. Before I could ask why he stood there he said, “I figured you wouldn’t be sleeping through the night, didn’t want you to be alone if you woke.”

  Love for him moved through me in a slow, deliberate ripple.

  “You okay?” he asked.

  “Aunt Dee, Dylan and Janie, we need to let them know I’m okay.”

/>   “They know.”

  “They do?”

  “Yeah.”

  Relief hit first, but curiosity quickly followed. “Kevin said you were feeding information on Carter Stein and his associates to the cops. Is that true?”

  “Yeah.”

  “My dad too?”

  “Shit was going down in the neighborhood that your dad didn’t like.”

  “Like their intimidation methods to get Dad to sell.”

  “Among other things.”

  “You’ve been at it for years so do you have stuff on Stein and pale-hair?”

  “Yes, and I suspect that’s why Donny is getting sloppy.”

  “The night Dad died, what happened?”

  Cole stepped from the wall and rubbed a hand over his shaved head. “I don’t know. Your dad and I always worked together but that night he went out alone. By the time I learned he had gone off without me, he was already gone.”

  Pain sliced through me but I forged on because I wanted to know everything Cole did. “Why would he go off without you?”

  His gaze searched mine, as if he was gauging whether I was up to hearing what he had to say next. “Tell me, Cole.”

  “He wouldn’t have unless…”

  “Unless what?”

  “The person he was meeting he didn’t perceive as a threat.”

  Numbness swept through me now with what Cole implied. “Are you saying someone he knew set him up?”

  He didn’t mask the rage that turned his face harder and his eyes darker. “I’m saying your dad knew the game and the players. He wouldn’t have walked into something blindly.”

  Cole’s outrage and contempt for the one that betrayed my dad were not feigned which had me feeling guilty for suggesting, during one of our earlier conversations, that he could have been that person. “I accused you of that.”

  “You wouldn’t be Mace’s kid if the thought hadn’t occurred to you.”