Candy Canes & Corpses

by Abby L. Vandiver

  Jerry grunted. “Based on your performance to date, you’ve got a long way to go.” He pointed a finger at Laura, who shrank back. “The mess my career is in right now is all because of you. If it wasn’t for you putting me on her show, I’d still be the lead in the most popular Emmy winning sitcom since Two and a Half Men. Instead, what do I get? A canceled show and no prospects for a new one, that’s what.”

  Jerry had played the lead role of Vern Lundy in Four Kids and a Dad for thirteen seasons. The pilot show, about a widowed father in his thirties with four children under ten, had been a quiet hit and was cautiously commissioned for one season. It had been extended after the ratings kept creeping up, until by its fifth season, it had blown every other family friendly TV show out of the water. The way things had been going, Jerry thought it was a job for life.

  Set in Hawaii, the show followed the trials and tribulations of the Lundy family as the children navigated their teens and early adulthood, and Vern found love again after several false starts. Jerry McGee was cast as Vern Lundy, the dad every kid wished they had. Kids and parents stopped him on the street asking for advice and autographs. Jerry had reluctantly been forced to move from his home in Seattle to Bainbridge Island for privacy reasons, after fans found out where he lived in Seattle and started camping on the sidewalk in front of his house.

  However, sitting in the busy lobby of the Fairmont Olympic Hotel in downtown Seattle three days after Christmas, few guests had even given him a second glance. Six months was a long time in show business, and that was precisely how long Jerry had been out of work.

  Laura leaned in towards Jerry. The calm look on her face belied the anger that was in her steely voice. “Listen to me you low-life,” she said through gritted teeth. “Don’t try and pull that one on me. I recall that you begged me to get you a segment on the Dana D show, because we all know it’s the hottest ticket in town. It’s not my fault your lies caught up with you. If anyone ruined your career, it was you, Jerry. You only have yourself to blame. Do yourself a favor and lay off the aggravation, or…” She sat back and smiled sweetly at the concierge who was hovering nearby.

  It was Jerry’s turn to lean in. “Or what?” he asked. The veins in his neck were pulsing, and his face had turned red. “Are you threatening me?”

  Laura nodded at the concierge, who took a step closer. “Of course not, Jerry. With your history that would be risky, wouldn’t it? Let’s just say I’ve got TMZ on speed dial. Unless you want any more skeletons coming out of your closet, I suggest you sit tight, shut your mouth, and wait for your ship to come in.”

  She stood and flipped her hair, a yellow shade of blonde, over her shoulder. “For what it’s worth, I think Dana truly admired you. There was no malice on her part, she was just doing her job. The way you handled the situation was the problem. Maybe you both can hug it out at the New Year’s Eve party she invited you to. Goodbye, Jerry.”

  Jerry watched Laura walk through the lobby and out through the revolving doors onto University Street. Deciding whether to have a drink at the bar, or go home, he decided on the latter. If he was going to drink alone, he’d prefer to do so in the privacy of his own home.

  On the ferry ride from Seattle to his home on Bainbridge Island, he chose to stay in the darkness of his car rather than go onto the passenger deck, not that anyone would recognize him anymore. Closing his eyes and sinking back in the car’s seat, the footage of his fateful interview with Dana Donnelly played through his mind. He squirmed, the memory making him uncomfortable.

  He remembered when his and Dana’s paths had crossed for the first time a couple of years earlier, not long after he moved to Bainbridge Island. Anxious to get involved with the island’s movers and shakers, Jerry had attended a charity event and ended up bidding against Dana for a piece of art by Naoko Morisawa that was in the auction. Although Dana had outbid him, she’d generously offered to give Jerry the artwork if he liked it that much.

  A woman like Dana was too brash for Jerry’s taste, but he nurtured the friendship all the same, in hopes of a guest appearance on Dana’s show. Through a stroke of good fortune, he’d met Laura Danner at a barbecue at Dana’s home. It was only when he hired Laura, who through work, moved in the same circles as Dana, that he was finally invited to appear on Dana’s television show, New Day NW.

  The day he was scheduled to appear on the show had dawned bright and clear, a beautiful June morning. Jerry was in the car that was taking him to the studio when his producer from Four Kids and a Dad called.

  “Jerry, it’s Barry. New Day NW just hit the top of the national ratings for the first time ever. Dana D’s brunch interview with the President and their sparring over his foreign policy problems has divided the nation, and the whole country wants into her world. You, my friend, are about to be on the most talked about show in the United States. Just wanted to say, enjoy every moment.”

  “Thanks, Barry,” Jerry said, buzzing with excitement. From the moment he stepped out of the town car, went through hair and makeup, and walked onto the set an hour later, it was shaping up to be the best day of his life.

  “Today, we’re happy to welcome Vern Lundy, or should I say, Jerry McGee, to the show,” Dana had said, beaming into the camera before turning to Jerry. “Jerry, you’ve shared in the past how your own life and Vern’s have a lot of parallels, is that correct?”

  Jerry cleared his throat, and reached for a sip of water before speaking. He was used to being on camera, although not when the show was being broadcast live on air. But Dana’s was an easy question, and one he’d answered many times before. The story of how he grew up in Hawaii and swam in the ocean there as a child, with a large family of brothers and sisters and an eccentric widowed father, was so familiar to him that he’d almost come to believe it himself. Which is why, when he’d recounted a few of those happy fake memories to Dana, he was blindsided by what came next.

  “Jerry,” Dana said, looking deep into his eyes, the camera panning in for a close-up of the two of them. “The real story is a lot different, isn’t it? It’s understandable why you might not want to share the truth of your childhood, but why do you think it’s something to be ashamed of?”

  A stunned Jerry sat in silence, unable to comprehend what was going on. He and Laura had discussed the questions in advance, and this wasn’t part of the script.

  “Jerry?” Dana prodded. “I’m sure viewers would love to know the real you and how you overcame adversity to get to where you are now.”

  “I…I’m not sure what you mean,” Jerry stuttered.

  “Oh, come on now Jerry, you can tell us,” Dana said, reaching out for his hand, but Jerry pulled it back. “How you grew up in a ghetto with a drug addicted mother, and a father you never saw, because he was in prison most of your childhood, isn’t that right?”

  Dana stared back at the camera. “Folks, Jerry’s story is amazing, because it’s one of inspiration and hope for all of you out there in unfortunate circumstances. There’s a lot of suffering that goes on close to home, and I know Jerry does a lot of charity work to help members of underprivileged communities.”

  Turning back to Jerry, she went on, “Would you like to tell us more about the support you give to disadvantaged teens with mental health issues, so they don’t have to suffer like your sister who was abused by a family friend and was too afraid to speak out?”

  Dana’s words were ringing in Jerry’s ears. He couldn’t even begin to guess how many millions of people were watching his humiliation at the hands of Dana Donnelly. It never occurred to Jerry she had a team of several people working for her who did nothing but research the guests she would be interviewing. He didn’t know they could find out where a person was born, where they’d gone to school, what kind of grades they’d had, and everything else that had gone on in their lives. The past he’d worked so hard to hide, to get away from, was being exposed by Dana in the blink of an eye. He wondered just how much she did know. Did she know about all of it…about his broth
er Gordon’s auto accident? Jerry couldn’t take the risk.

  “I’m sorry,” he said, pulling off his microphone and flinging it to the floor. “I’m not feeling well. If you’ll excuse me, I need to leave.”

  Dana had called after him as he strode across the studio, a cameraman running alongside. When he roughly pushed the cameraman out of his way, the guy had fallen and broken his ankle. Without stopping to help or apologize, Jerry had stormed off the set. Unfortunately for him, the whole thing was captured by the other cameras on the set and broadcast live to a hungry television audience. It had been on every news show across the United States that evening.

  Jerry knew he hadn’t come out of it looking very good, but it could have been worse. If Dana knew about the joyriding incident, he could be looking at a prison sentence rather than losing his job.

  As he sat on the ferry, he made up his mind. Waiting for Laura to discredit Dana was a waste of time. Dana disappearing from television screens wasn’t enough for Jerry. He needed her to disappear forever. Only then could he put the secret about Gordon’s death to rest once and for all.

  Another nagging thought occurred to him. It was possible Laura also knew his secret, and that was what she’d been referring to earlier. That he’d stolen a car as a drunken youth and was driving with his brother Gordon in the passenger seat when the car spun out of control and crashed into a river. Jerry had made it safely out of the vehicle, but Gordon had drowned. Jerry told the police Gordon was the one who had stolen the car and was driving, and Jerry had escaped not only with his life, but also with a hundred hours of community service by a judge who’d told him he really didn’t believe Jerry’s version of what happened on that fateful night.

  He’d deal with Dana first. Then he could start thinking about Laura.

  Chapter Six

  DeeDee stared at the gun nestled on the kitchen table between her plate of cold unfinished toast and a jar of homemade blackberry jam. She’d picked the blackberries one August day with Jake when they came across the wild fruit in bushes along a country trail they were walking on with Balto. Picking up the jar of jam, DeeDee pushed it to the back of the shelf in her kitchen cupboard, figuring that a reminder of Jake with her breakfast every morning was too much for her to deal with right now.

  Her gaze moved through the open doorway to Balto who was in the hallway, eagerly waiting for her to open the front door to go for their regular morning walk. His tail wagged impatiently, his leash hanging from his mouth.

  “Don’t give me those come-to-the-beach-eyes, Balto,” she sighed, lifting the gun and turning it over in her palm. “You’ve been standing there ever since Chief Hewson left, and it’s making me nervous.”

  The cold metal of the gun sent a shiver down her spine. Jake had shown her how to use it, and he’d insisted that she keep it in the house with her, because of a previous murder investigation in which they’d been involved. Keeping it hidden under a loose floorboard in the hallway was one thing, but using it to shoot someone was something else altogether. Her hand was trembling so much she had to set it down, afraid it would go off by accident and she’d injure herself, or worse, her beloved Balto.

  Balto whined and DeeDee walked into the hallway. “I know I said we could go for a walk, Balto, but I’m not sure it’s such a good idea. I’m not feeling quite as brave as I was earlier.”

  Balto’s eyes fell, and he dropped the leash.

  “Now you’re making me feel guilty, Balto.” DeeDee said, as she placed her hands on her hips. “It’s not my fault I’m scared of my own shadow right now, but I guess it’s not yours either.”

  DeeDee considered going outside to the garden. There was a good view out front where she could see the road leading to the house, so anyone approaching would be visible which would give her plenty of warning. But somehow, she didn’t think the garden would keep Balto happy for long. He’d be down the path to the beach before she could say ‘rabbit frisbee.’

  The sound of the telephone ringing on the hallway table caused both of them to startle.

  DeeDee gingerly reached for the receiver. “Hello?”

  “Hey, Sis, Happy New Year!”

  The sound of Roz’s voice on the other end of the line caused DeeDee to begin to sob.

  “DeeDee, are you all right?” There was silence while Roz waited for DeeDee to respond. “Please answer me, DeeDee. All I can hear are big, raspy breaths and it sounds like you’re blubbering like a baby. What’s wrong?”

  “I…I’m just so happy to hear your voice,” DeeDee said when her body had stopped shuddering, and she’d gotten her tears under control.

  “Hmm, you have a funny way of showing it,” Roz muttered. “Do you burst into tears every time you’re happy, or just when your baby sister gets back from her honeymoon? I tried calling you last night, but your cell phone was switched off. It still is, by the way.”

  With the handset pressed to her ear, DeeDee walked into the great room and curled up on the sofa. She tucked a wool throw around her legs. Despite the fact the furnace was on and she was dressed in warm clothes, she still had the shivers.

  “Happy New Year to you too,” DeeDee mumbled. “I forgot I turned my phone off after midnight. So much has happened since then I forgot to switch it on again. I can hardly think straight right now.”

  “Too much information,” Roz said, laughing. “Whatever you and Jake did on New Year’s Eve is no business of mine. Did you guys have a nice evening? He told me he had something special planned. I thought you might have some news for me.”

  DeeDee groaned. “I do, but not the kind you’re thinking. I didn’t see Jake last night, I was working.”

  “You were what?” Roz said, practically screaming into the phone.

  Balto jumped up on the couch beside DeeDee. “Stop shrieking, Roz, you’re scaring Balto.” She stroked his warm fur and let him nestle in her lap. “I was catering a party for Dana Donnelly.”

  It was Roz’s turn to gasp. “Dana D? As in—dead as a dodo, Dana D? It was all over the news networks this morning. Oh, DeeDee. I can’t even go away for ten days without you getting involved in a murder, can I? What’s Jake got to say about all of this?”

  “Jake has nothing to say about it, since we broke up a few days ago,” DeeDee said tightly, the words catching in her throat. “And I don’t suppose he would care, even if I told him.” She heard a muffled conversation taking place at the other end of the line. “And will you stop whispering to Clark? Don’t think I can’t hear you two talking about me.”

  The receiver rattled, and Roz came back on the line. “I’m sure this is all a misunderstanding. Why don’t you start by telling me what happened last night, and then you can tell me about your little lover’s tiff.”

  “Roz, stop patronizing me,” DeeDee warned her, “or I’m going to hang up right now. It wasn’t a tiff, it was much worse.”

  “Sure,” Roz said. “Whatever you say. First, I need you to tell me about Dana’s party, and don’t leave anything out.”

  DeeDee recounted the events of the previous few hours, from her final conversation with Dana, to when the police had left her home that morning.

  “That’s it, Clark and I are coming over,” Roz said, her voice rising. “If some lunatic thinks they’re going to get you, they’re going to have to get past me first.”

  “Don’t be ridiculous,” DeeDee said. “There’s no way you’re putting yourself in danger.”

  “Okay then.” A nervous giggle came from Roz. “Clark first, then me. We may as well all go down together.”

  “This is no laughing matter,” DeeDee scolded. “I don’t want you coming over, and that’s final. I have a gun, and Balto won’t let anything happen to me without a fight. The only thing I ask is that you don’t say anything to Mitch and Tink. You know how children are about their mother. There’s no point in them worrying as well.”

  “In that case, I’m calling Jake,” Roz declared. “I know he’d be there in a heartbeat in spite of whatever
this supposed breakup you had was about. Do you want to tell me about it?”

  “No, I don’t,” DeeDee said, “and I don’t want you to tell Jake. I’d never forgive you. I don’t want to talk about what happened, it’s private.” DeeDee had a feeling if she told Roz the full story, her sister would probably side with Jake.

  “Sorry, Sis. No dice. You’re going to have to spill the beans, or I’m calling Jake right now.”

  DeeDee knew Roz wasn’t kidding. “Fine. What do you want to know?”

  “All of it. You already told me you were spending Christmas with Mitch and Tink. When did you see Jake, and how did this turn of events come about?”

  DeeDee sighed. She knew she had no option but to tell Roz everything. “Jake came over a couple of nights after Christmas. We’d swapped gifts on Christmas Eve, then he was spending time with his daughter, and Mitch and Tink were with me for a couple of days.”

  “Right,” Roz said. “So, what were the gifts that you bought each other?”

  “That’s not important,” DeeDee said. “You know, this and that.”

  “You’re not getting off that lightly, DeeDee. Of course it’s important. It’s the first Christmas since you’ve been dating, and I want to know if he got you something nice, because Jake strikes me as the kind of guy that probably put a lot of thought into it.”

  DeeDee felt a pang of guilt. “Yes, it was nice,” she said as lightly as she could.

  “What was? Quit stalling, or do I have to come over there and drag it out of you?”

  “Um, no,” DeeDee conceded. “You’re right. Jake bought me a beautiful present. It was an antique gold eternity ring.”